2

Age 15

I dream about running.

I thinkthat'swhy I wake up every morning feeling exhausted. Studies say teenagers need more sleep than adults, butthat'snot why I spend my days like a zombie.It'sbecause my mind spends my nights running at full speed. In every dream, the destination is different. But the thingI'mrunning from is always the same.

Dr Blackwood.

He'sa scientist by profession, but the secret projecthe'srunning is his real passion.

Mom worked in his lab as a cleaner for years.When heone daycame to her with an offer, it was an easy decision.My parents were always short on cash before. Now, we have everything we need.

But there's a price, and I'm the one paying it.

Once a week,I'msent to his house on the outskirts of town. This is where he runs his secret experiments, the ones he hides from the world. He sold this to my parents as a psychological clinical trial, butthat'snot exactly right.

He thinks he can play god with the human brain. He wants to find a way to cut out all the negative parts of humanity.That'swhy he pays parents to hand over theirchildren,so he can have guinea pigs.

But he wants something else from me.

I breathe inthe scent offresh pine as John leads me from myparents'car to the trees behind DrBlackwood'shouse.Dr Blackwood has a handful of men who do his bidding, help him with his experiments, and worship him likehe'ssomekind ofgeniuswho'sgoing tosave the world.John is one of them.

Icatch a glimpse ofDrBlackwood'swide-eyed son staring over at me as we walk past.He'sa kid, younger than me.John"scalloused hands lead me into the darkness past the house.

Dr Blackwood is waiting for us by the trees. His pale eyes stare me down, his glasses slipping down his nose.He'stall and skinny and alwaysdressed ina long white lab coat. Hislankybody makes him look like a monster in a horror movie.

I remind myself that horror moviesaren'treal.I'mfifteen, way too old to be scared of monsters.

His eyes coast over me."How are you, Jackson?"

"Fine,"I lie. Dread is heavy in my stomach.

"Have you been taking your pills?"

I nod, my throat tight.

"Good,"he murmurs."Your treatment is doing remarkably well. I knew you were the perfect test subject for this particular line of inquiry.You'respecial."

Usually, these sessions take place in his basement. Idon'tknow whywe'reout in the trees today.

"Take these,"he orders, handing me three little white pills. Each one has a little symbol carved into it: an eye inside a sun.That'shis symbol for the Utopia Project.

Idon'twant to do what he says, but I swallow them anyway. They feel rough and chalky in my throat.

Psychlipse, he calls them.It'ssome drug he developed himself in his lab.

At first, Ididn'tunderstand why he was doing this. But soon he told me everything.

On other kids, he tried to see if he could eliminate the bad parts of human nature. Buthe'sdoing something else with me.He'sseeing how far he can push me into the worst parts of the brain.He'strying to turn me into a monster.

The drugs do something crazy to me. When I take them, I get these episodes where Idon'tfeel like myself. Instead, Ifeelpure darkness. Rage and violence andhatred,all burning up in me.

WhenI'min these episodes, Dr Blackwood likes to toy with me. He pushes me to extremes. He beats me, cuts me, burns me.Justto see whatI'lldo. I always try to attack him, but his minions hold me back.

Eventually, the drugs always wear off, and the memories grow blurry, even if the scars remain.

He says this is about science. But I knowit'sreally about power. He enjoys playing god with his sick, twisted experiments, but most of allheenjoys hurting people.

I tried to tell my parents, but they waved it off. Theydon'twant to see the truth. If I ran to the cops, they wouldjusthand me back over to my parents, right?

DrBlackwood'sfingers reachout tomy face, lingering against my cheek. My stomach turns at his touch."Every creation story needs a devil.Let'sseeexactlywhat your little mind and body are capable of."

The voices turn hazy. My vision begins to blur.

"Run from me, Jackson. Run and hide. If I catch you,it'sgoing to hurt."

My mind is swirling. Hide, I have to hide.

I feel that strange sensation washing over me once again. It feels like an eclipse in my brain. The episode is kicking in. Feelings erupting inside me. Anger. Desire. Hatred.

Darkness.

It rises and rises until everything goes black.