13

Fuck you, Jackson.

Fuck you for letting Ava walk out of your office and slam the door behind her.

That'sthe first thought that crystalizes in my mind as the fogbegins to clear.

The dark, black feeling is rolling through every cell in my body. Justlike that night when I woke at 1am. Thatsamefeeling is overcoming me again: every sense sharpened, every twisted primal instinct rising in my body untilit'simpossible to ignore.

There's no control. There's no civility. There's only pure instinct.

I"m once again at the mercy of this sinister force that lurks within me. I can feel myself being dragged down into the depths of my own depravity.

And once again, the memories are trickling back.

I remember killing Orion Vale. I remember returning home and falling asleep. And when I woke, all the memories were gone again.

Until now.

I'venever felt like this before. This fascination. This sense of a kindred spirit.

And she feels it for me, too. She looked atVale'smurder scene and saw my reflection in it, looking back at her.

Hyde. I left the note for her to find. I wanted togive her a name, and as I made the kill, DrBlackwood'swords were ringing in my ears. Hide, Jackson.It'llhurt if I find you. I'mtwisting his fucked up order from all those years ago into something powerful.

I remember the flicker of jealousythat Ifelt during my session with Ava. I was envious of whoever this mystery killer was. He hadAva'sfascination, not me.

But now I remember thatwe'reone and the same.

I glance down at myhandswhere I stand in my office. My blood is still pumping hard in my veins. Idon'tknow how long I have until this state slips away againandI'mjust Jackson again. And I have work to do.

I quickly leave the office, asking my assistant to cancel the last appointment of the day. I drop by my house, reaching far into the back of the closet where I hid my change of clothes.

I scan through the list of names stored in my head. Itdoesn'ttake long to find my next victim.

John was one of Dr Blackwood's underlings.

He knew that Dr Blackwood was torturing me. He and his friends helped it to happen. I still remember the strong hands that held me down as Dr Blackwood fed me pills and sliced my body open.

But after I escaped and the Utopia Project had fallen apart, he and the men like him got to go start new lives. They bore no scars like I did.

That changes tonight.

Before my last episode ended, I did some research. I have a list of names and addresses.

Tonight, I assemble the itemsI'velocated. A mask that covers every inch of my face, with a small electronic device inside that modulates the tone of my voice.

I go toJohn'shouse on foot, slipping the mask down over my face before I enter.

***

Back at my house, I begin the cleaning ritual.

Using a gun would be so much easier to make the kill, of course. But I wanted to feel it, from the nerves in my hand through the blade down tohisflesh, ripping open at the touch.

And it felt so fucking good.

I wash the blood from my knife and sterilize every inch of anything that could be evidence.

I stash the bag of my clothes and mask in the depths of the closet, changing back into the outfit from earlier. Jacksondoesn'tknow what he keeps hidden in his own home. He might not thinkhe'scapable of getting away with murder, but I fucking am.

There'sone last thing I have to do today. The sweetest thing of all.

I need another glimpse of Ava.

The doorbell interrupts me before I can move,the soundechoing through the house. My eyes snap up to the frontdoor'sglass panes. I can see aman'ssilhouette standing there: Henrik.

I'mcareful to plaster on a smile before I swing the door open.

"Henrik."

"Ah, I'm glad you're home, Jackson. May I come in?"

His tone is light, but I can hear the edge of concern.

Annoyance sizzles in me, but I stand back and welcome him in."Of course."

I glance back at him as he follows me to the living room."I thought I told you, Henrik. Youdon'tneed to keep checking up on me."

His eyes crease as he smiles, adjusting his rimmed glasses."You'reso busy these days.I'mjust making sure youdon'tforget about me."

Henrik never married. His work has been his whole life. His work, and me.

"Of course not,"I reply."ThoughI"verecently started seeing some new patients.It"sbeen consuming a significant portion of my spare time."

I try not to smile, thinking about the dead body waiting to be found by the cops. Murder—now that's a time-consuming hobby.

The truth is, I owe everything to Henrik.He'slike a father to me. But Ican'tlet him stand in the way of getting what I really want.

I need blood.

I need to destroy the men who broke me.

Somethingdeepin my heart is telling me that if I destroy them,I'llfinally be free of this deep-etched pain.

Henrik peers at me over his glasses."To be frank, you seem different over the last few weeks.Ican'thelp but get the feelingthere'ssomething unresolved within youthat'sresurfacing."

He reaches out, lightly patting my shoulder. I tense at the action.

"You can be honest with me, Jackson. Sometimesthepast lingers in ways wecan'tfully grasp."

I maintain the fa?ade of ease, brushing off Henrik's concerns with a tight-lipped smile. "I can assure you, Henrik, I've handled my past."

I'm handling it right fucking now.

He meets my eyes."I know what you went through, Jackson. I know that kind of historyisn'teasy to walk away from."

My stare doesn't waver. "What if I said you don't know the half of it?"

Henrik'seyebrows rise an inch, but the surprisedoesn'tshow in his voice.

I need to get rid of him.He'sthe man who knows me best, and Idon'twant him to sense that thisisn'tjust Jackson. This is my other side, the one that Dr Blackwood created.

"Is something wrong, Jackson?"

"Not at all.I'msorry, Henrik, butI'mafraid I have to go. I have an appointment."

I can feel the worried suspicion inHenrik'slast glanceas he leaves.

I have an appointment, but it has nothing to do with my practice.

Thirty minuteslaterI'vecrossed town to where Ava lives; I have her address from her file at my office. Standing in the shadows, I look up at the window of her second-floor apartment in this shabby building. Surelyshecould afford anicerplace in a safer neighborhood.

Why is she subjecting herself to this? Does she think shedoesn'tdeserve anything more?

Her silhouette passes by. I canjustmake out the glint of her pretty gray eyes as she walks by. Heat fills my veins, and my cock immediately stiffens at the glimpse of her.

Idon'tknow ifit'sminutes or hours, but eventually the light in her bedroom turns off.

As if in a trance, I find myself rising the stairs in her block. The lock is easy enough to pick. No alarms go off when I enter.Fora detective, shedoesn'ttake enough careabout looking after herself.

Luckily, nowI'mhere to do the job for her.

I listenoutto the quiet before silently passing through the few rooms and slipping through herbedroom'sopen door.She'sthereinthebed, eyes closedandher body curled into a teardrop shape.Her breath gently lifts her ribcage beneath a blanket. Lust pounds heavily in my chest.My eyes scan her body, concealed inthe baggy t-shirtshe'swearing.Her full lips are just slightly parted, begging for me to pry them open and push my cock inside.

I'venever seen a sight so vulnerable or so perfect.

I step closer to the bed, my hands hovering over the smooth skin of her face.

But a hazy sensation is washing over me. I can feel the eclipse beginning to fade. Soonthisepisode will end, and Iwon'tremember a thing.

I smile. No matter.

This time, I'll leave Ava sleeping.

Next time, there will be one hell of a wake-up call.