Chapter 44

44

ROAN

T he meeting in New York had dragged on longer than expected, but finally, it was over. Unfortunately, it only resulted in yet another meeting.

"I can handle this," Jake said. "It's clear you need to get out of here."

"I do, but I'm not about to walk away from this. I don't want to lose this deal."

"We can reschedule it until next week," he offered.

I shook my head as we walked to the waiting car. "It's fine. Let's just get it over with. I'm not going to give them any wiggle room to get out of this."

Jake nodded, understanding my relentless determination. We got into the car. He handed me a bottled water from the fridge. I drank it down in one go, quenching the dryness that had settled in my throat from all the talking I'd done during the meeting.

As we drove along, my mind was working overdrive, churning over all the details of the deal and how best to tackle the next meeting. But amidst it all, I couldn't stave off thoughts of Rafe in Florida with Alaina. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be spending time with both of them. But alas, I was here trying to save a multi-million-dollar deal.

Before long, we arrived at the venue of the next meeting. It was a stiff-looking building with glass facades reflecting back the bright city lights of New York. As Jake and I entered, I took a moment to adjust my tie and fix my suit while glancing around at the businessmen and women hustling about.

The next few hours were dreadfully long as we moved through presentation after presentation, negotiating terms and restructuring clauses. Despite the monotony, I held my ground, pushing for what I knew was best for our company. Jake stood by me, a solid ally in the fight for this deal.

Just as we were wrapping up, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced down to see a message from Alaina. My heart picked up at the sight of her name, curiosity tugging at me to read it immediately. However, I knew better than to let it distract me in such a crucial moment.

With the final signatures inked onto the papers and handshakes exchanged, we were finally released from the room. With a sigh of relief, I excused myself to a quieter corner of the lobby to check my phone.

"Safely landed and settled in with Rafe," the message read, along with a picture of Rafe grinning widely in front of what looked like their hotel room window. Warmth spread through me at the sight of his happy face. I quickly typed a response, thanking Alaina for the update and expressing how much I wished I could be there with them. My heart ached at the thought of what I was missing out on, but I pushed that aside, focusing instead on the knowledge that Rafe was having fun and was taken care of.

"Good job," Jake said.

"What?"

"You saved it."

I laughed. "You doubted me."

"Honestly, I was worried. I didn't think it would actually work out. They didn't even want to meet with us."

"That's what they said." I shrugged. "But all we had to do was show up and make them tell us no to our faces."

He laughed. "Intimidation."

"Exactly," I added, a small smirk playing on my lips. "Sometimes that's all businessmen understand."

Jake nodded, his eyes full of admiration. "Well, it was a brilliant performance." He clapped my shoulder. "We should celebrate."

"I can't," I said. "I need to get down to Florida. I told Rafe I would be there with him. I'm not going to stand him up."

Despite being exhausted from the long day, my energy spiked knowing that soon enough, I'd be rejoining Rafe and Alaina in Florida. My private jet was ready and waiting, but I still had to get through traffic to the airport.

As we settled into the back seat of the car. Jake leaned back and gave me a sidelong glance. "You seem anxious. What's eating you? You saved the deal. It's good."

I shrugged, trying to brush off the question. "Just anxious to get to Florida and see Rafe."

Jake shook his head, smirking. "You and I both know that's not all. It's Alaina, isn't it?"

I glanced out the window, avoiding his gaze. Jake had been my rock during my divorce and the disastrous dating life that followed. He knew me better than most. "What about Alaina?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

Jake snorted. "You're serious about her, aren't you? I mean, are we still pretending there's nothing happening between the two of you?"

"Of course I care about her," I replied defensively. "She's important to me."

"Roan, you need to do something if you want to keep this girl. Stop dragging your feet, thinking that just being friends is going to save you from heartbreak. It's too late. You're already in over your head."

"It's not completely my decision, Jake. Alaina wants to stay friends, too."

"Does she?" Jake shot back. "Because you're in friends-with-benefits territory right now. Have you told her how you feel?"

"How do you know how I feel?" I challenged, meeting his gaze for the first time.

Jake rolled his eyes. "You're a mess, Roan. It's obvious to everyone around you. You've never smiled more than you do when you're with Alaina."

"Stop analyzing my life, Jake," I snapped back, redirecting my gaze to focus on the cityscape that was blurring past us. I didn't need his commentary to make me more conflicted than I already was. Even though I wasn't sure why I was conflicted. I kept deciding to just go for it, and then some insane part of me put the brakes on things.

Ignoring my irritation, Jake chose to press the matter. "You're an excellent businessman, Roan. It's time you apply the same acumen to your personal life."

"It's not that simple, Jake. Rafe really, really likes her. You know me. I'm a shitty boyfriend. There is a very good chance I'm going to screw this shit up. Then what does that do? Rafe is going to be caught in the middle. There's no way I can have a relationship with Alaina and Rafe not be aware of it. Rafe isn't two. He's nine going on eighteen. He's very aware of things. He knows there is something going on."

Jake sighed. "Listen to me. You say you care for Alaina? Then you need to tell her that. Rafe is a kid. You are not the first man to date a woman and have things not work out. Kids are resilient. Isn't that what you said before?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Jake," I snapped, my tone sharper than I intended. The thought of breaking Rafe's heart was a burden I couldn't bear. "A scraped knee is not the same as a crushed heart. That's the kind of shit that sticks with a kid. It screws with their heads. It might have long-lasting ramifications. He might never have a normal relationship because he's learning from me."

"Damn." Jake laughed. "You've lost your mind."

"You have no idea," I muttered.

"I don't think it's all that drastic," he said. "We're still talking a casual relationship, right? Are you thinking you're going to run off and marry the woman?"

"No!"

"Then what's all the fuss about?" Jake asked, his tone incredulous. "Look, Roan, you're complicating things needlessly. You like Alaina. Alaina likes you. Give it a shot and see where it leads. Rafe will be just fine. You're worrying too much. You don't know how things will turn out unless you give it a try."

"That's the problem," I admitted quietly, glancing at him sideways. "I'm terrified of how things might turn out."

"You're already planning the end of the relationship," he said. "Maybe you don't really like her."

"I do," I said.

"Then why do we keep going round and round in circles on this? Be honest. Are you having erectile dysfunction problems?"

"No, what the fuck? It's because of my history. Look at how many times I've crashed and burned in the past."

"You weren't serious about most of them." He shrugged. "Obviously, they were wrong. You said Alaina is different. You were fishing in the wrong pond before. Now, you've got a good one. You've got someone that makes you genuinely happy."

"Yeah, but what if I'm the one who's wrong for her?" I asked. "What if I'm the one who ends up hurting her?"

Jake looked out the window. He didn't answer me right away, instead choosing to let the question hover between us.

"Look," he began, finally breaking through the silence. "You're not perfect Roan. No one is. But it's your imperfections that make you human. What matters most isn't whether you screw up—because you will—but how you handle it afterwards. Apologize when you're wrong. Fight for her when it counts. Be honest with your feelings."

"But what if I can't be that man?" I questioned.

"Then you become him. For her. For Rafe. For yourself."

I groaned. "You make it sound so easy."

"Look, if you don't make a move, I will."

I glared at him. "I have a feeling Cate might have a problem with that."

Jake grinned wickedly. "I'm man enough for both sisters."

"Touch Alaina and I'll cut your balls off," I threatened, though a part of me knew he was just trying to provoke me into action.

He laughed, clearly enjoying goading me. The car reached the airport. "I'll see you later," I said.

"Have a good weekend," he said. "Talk to her. Stop being a scared little bitch."

After dropping Jake off at the main terminal, the driver took me to the private hangar. I boarded my jet. Jake was right. I couldn't keep doing this dance with Alaina anymore. It was high time I told her how I felt. I had tried before but we had gotten interrupted by Kyle Klein's crappy kid.

"Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Lockhart?" the flight attendant asked.

"Just a Coke, please," I replied.

The attendant brought me the drink and we took off.

"We've got your lunch ready when you're ready," she said after a bit.

"Thank you, maybe later."

"Perfect."

She left me alone once again. I grabbed my laptop to get some work done. After nearly an hour of staring at the screen, I realized I was getting nowhere. My mind was cluttered with thoughts of Alaina. Pushing the laptop aside, I reclined in my seat and stared blankly out of the window, watching the fluffy white clouds. I couldn't wait to see her again. I hoped we did find some time to talk. If not, it would have to wait until after the weekend. In fact, maybe that was better. I didn't want to drop anything too heavy while we were there for the kids.