Chapter 12

12

ROAN

T he morning of the fall festival, Rafe woke up with more excitement than I had seen from him in a long time. He was practically vibrating with energy.

"You have to eat breakfast," I insisted. "We still have an hour before we need to go. Take your time."

Rafe was too excited to sit still, but he managed to gobble down some toast and scrambled eggs while I sipped my coffee. His enthusiasm was infectious, making me look forward to this festival more than I had initially.

"Can we go now, Dad?" Rafe asked for the umpteenth time, checking the clock on the kitchen wall.

"You'll burn out before we even get there," I warned him playfully. "Let's just wait a few more minutes."

Rafe sighed dramatically and sank further into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. It wasn't easy keeping a straight face at his dramatics.

"Why don't you go pick up your dirty clothes and put them in the laundry room?"

He gave me a funny look. "Margie does that?"

I raised my eyebrows. "No, I pay Margie to tidy up the house. She's not paid to be your personal maid. You need to pick up after yourself."

Rafe huffed but clambered down from his chair and headed upstairs, leaving me alone in the kitchen to finish my coffee. I chuckled as I thought about how quickly children's moods could swing from excitement to annoyance.

Rafe lived a life of privilege but I didn't want him to be a spoiled brat. He needed to learn how to take care of himself. I wasn't asking him to mow the lawn or actually do the laundry. But he needed to respect the people that helped keep our home running. I would always correct him if he ever took things for granted.

Before long, Rafe was back, clothes in hand and an expectant look on his face.

"Better?" he asked, holding out his hands to show me the clothes he'd collected.

"Laundry room." I pointed down the hall. "Not the kitchen."

He came back a minute later acting like he had just been forced to move boulders up a mountain. "Can we go now?"

I laughed. "Yes. Let me get my keys."

The entire drive, Rafe chatted about all the games and prizes that awaited us at the festival. Traffic was ridiculous as usual, worse with almost an entire block cordoned off for the festival. We parked and made the trek to the event. It didn't take long for us to find our way to the cotton candy booth I was going to be working. Alaina was already there setting things up.

"Dad, can I go with my friends?" Rafe asked.

"You need to stay here where I can see you."

His shoulders drooped. "Everyone else is playing."

"Everything is blocked off," Alaina said. "And there are chaperones and police keeping an eye on things."

His classmates were already off playing down the street, their shouts and laughter drifting through the air. I scanned the area, seeing the police and the many parents that were on security detail wearing yellow vests. It was another reminder I had to loosen the tight leash I kept him on. He needed to grow up. He needed the chance to play and have fun without me watching over his every move.

"Fine, but you stay within the boundaries. Don't go anywhere else with anyone. Don't?—"

"I know, Dad," he said with exasperation. "Can I go?"

I pulled a twenty from my wallet. "Have fun."

"Thanks, Dad!"

He rushed away with me praying he wouldn't trip and fall. I turned to see Alaina watching us with a smile.

"Relax, Roan," Alaina said. "Rafe's going to be fine. It's a safe environment, and he's with his friends. Everyone here is going to be looking out for the kids. We want them to be safe. And Rafe is a smart kid. He's not going to fall for any tricks."

I nodded, trying to absorb her calm demeanor. "I know, I know. It's just this whole newfound freedom thing is a bit unsettling."

Alaina chuckled softly. "He's a good kid, and he's growing up. Give him a little space to enjoy himself. I'm guessing you were an independent kid."

I nodded. "Yeah, I was. But me at nine versus him at nine just feels so different."

Alaina arched an eyebrow, a glint of curiosity in her gaze. "How so?"

"I was just always out there, you know," I said, my gaze trailing off to where Rafe was now playing a game of toss with his friends. "Always getting into scraps, never making it home until after sunset. And now, with Rafe, I just want to keep him safe. To avoid the same mistakes I made when I was his age."

Alaina's eyes softened as she took in my words. "Parenting is tough, and it seems even harder when you care so deeply. Just remember that every kid is different. Rafe has his own path, and as much as we want to, we can't shield them from everything."

I nodded slowly, acknowledging the truth in her words. As much as I wanted to wrap Rafe up in bubble wrap and protect him from the world, I knew that wouldn't do him any favors in the long run.

"Alright, so, tell me what to do," I said. "And just know, you are the first person in a very, very long time who gets to boss me around."

She giggled softly and handed me a pair of gloves. "You'll need these."

As we arranged the various supplies for making cotton candy, Alaina asked more about Rafe. "It's been just the two of us for the past five years," I said. "Ever since the divorce."

She paused, looking at me with genuine interest. "That must have been tough."

"It was," I admitted. "But we've managed. Rafe's a resilient kid. He's made it easier for me, in a way. I know I'm lucky I got such a good kid. He doesn't give me any trouble. He's smart. And just really good."

Alaina handed me a tub of cotton candy floss. "You're doing a great job, Roan. It's obvious how much you care about him. Rafe is a good kid and that comes from good parenting."

"Thanks." I smiled, knowing her compliment was genuine and not just empty words.

"Can I ask you something?" she said. "If you don't want to answer, just tell me to mind my business."

"Now, I'm intrigued." I laughed. "What is it?"

"You said you're divorced, so why do you still wear your wedding ring?"

"It's complicated," I said with a sigh.

"I understand," Alaina quickly said. "I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business. I'm sorry."

"No, no." I shook my head. "It's not that. After my divorce, I dated someone for a while, but it didn't work out. After that, I decided I was done with relationships. The ring is sort of like a shield. It makes me seem off-limits. Most women leave me alone. And with the ring, I guess it's like a force field for me as well. I don't go looking. Force of habit. I was faithful during my marriage. When I have the ring, I'm not looking. I don't want another relationship. Too much drama."

Alaina tried to hide her amusement, but her laughter bubbled up anyway. I realized how ridiculous I sounded and laughed along with her.

"You asked," I reminded her.

"Yes, yes I did," she said while trying to control her laughter.

"And?" I prompted. "Clearly you have an opinion about it."

She took a deep breath. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," she blurted out. "Sorry, but yeah, dumb."

"Okay, maybe it is dumb," I admitted, grinning. "But it seemed like a good idea at the time. It just became a thing. I don't even think about it much anymore."

Alaina shrugged, her smile a little too teasing. "Well, if it works for you, who am I to judge?"

I chuckled, my eyes subconsciously drifting over to where Rafe was. He was now joining a group of kids who were about to start a sack race. My heart skipped a beat, images of him falling and scraping his knee flashing through my mind. I visibly flinched.

"Roan." Alaina's voice brought me back. "Relax."

"I know, I know," I muttered, my gaze still fixed on the scene.

Alaina taught me how to use the cotton candy machine. As we worked side by side, I realized with a start that I really enjoyed spending time with her. She was easy to talk to, funny, and had a way of making me feel at ease.

Everyone at the festival seemed to have a good time. After a while, Rafe ran over to us with a group of friends from school. "Dad! One of the parents is doing a movie night, and I really want to go. Can I spend the night?"

I looked at Alaina, who gave me an encouraging nod. "Sure, as long as I can talk to the parents first."

"I'll find them," he said and ran off.

"This must be hard for you," Alaina said, watching Rafe disappear into the crowd. "Doing it all by yourself."

"Yeah," I admitted. "I never know if I'm making the right decisions when it comes to Rafe. It's a constant worry. I've become his protector. When he was little, it was so much easier to shield him from everything. The older he gets, the harder it is to keep him in the little protective bubble."

She placed a hand on my arm. "You're a good dad, Roan. Rafe is lucky to have you."

It was the first time anyone had ever called me a good dad, and it struck a chord deep inside me. I had the sudden urge to kiss her, which shocked me. I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure.

"Thanks, Alaina," I said, my voice a little rough. "That means a lot."

A man and woman walked up, breaking up our little moment.

"Hi!" Alaina smiled at them. "Are you our relief?"

"We are."

Our shift was officially over. I was bummed. I had really enjoyed spending time with her.

"Do you want to walk around and enjoy the last hour of the festival?" she asked.

"Sure," I agreed.

We caught up with Rafe and his friends, along with the other parents. I quickly introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Roan, Rafe's dad," I said, extending a hand in greeting.

The man shook my hand warmly. "Nice to meet you, Roan. I'm Mike and this is my wife, Cheryl. We've heard a lot about you."

I chuckled. "I hope all good things."

Mike nodded with a smile. "Your son speaks highly of you."

I thanked them. After ensuring that Rafe would be safe and well taken care of for the night, Alaina and I began to amble through the crowd, soaking in the remaining atmosphere of the festival.

"Is it hard for you, letting him go like that?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it is. I want to protect him, but I also know he needs to experience things on his own. And I'm really happy he's got friends. That's worth more than all the money in the world."

We wandered through the festival, enjoying the sights and sounds. It felt good to relax, to let go of my worries for a while and just enjoy the moment.

As the evening drew to a close, we found ourselves back at the cotton candy stand.

"You know, it would be nice if we could be friends," she said. "We're both new to town, after all."

I looked at her, feeling a pang of disappointment. "Yeah, I'd like that," I said, forcing a smile. "Friends. I'm always telling Rafe good friends are hard to find."

I wanted more than just friendship. There was something about Alaina that drew me in, something I couldn't quite put into words.

"Thank you again for volunteering today," she said. "I know you're a busy man, but this means a lot to the kids."

"I'm glad to be a part of it," I told her. "I'll see you later."