Chapter 10

10

ROAN

I watched Alaina and Beau walk away, feeling a strange sense of loss. The lunch had been nice. More than nice actually. Alaina was easy to talk to and Rafe was clearly fond of her. Why couldn't I have chosen her ten years ago?

Rafe deserved a good, loving mother. I failed him. Not that I was purposely trying to make my ex a mother, but I should have been smarter. I loved Rafe and I would never regret how he was conceived. I just wished I would have picked a better mom.

"Dad?" Rafe's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, champ?" I asked, looking down at him.

"I really want a dog." His eyes were hopeful as he looked up at me.

I chuckled and ruffled his hair. "We'll see, Rafe. We'll see. We still need to settle into the house and find a rhythm."

"What do you mean?"

"You're in a new school, I'm in a new office. We're in a new house and a new city. I think we should get settled before we bring a dog in. We have to find a veterinarian and a groomer and maybe a doggy daycare. It's a lot of work."

"I'll find them," he said. "Can I use the computer when we get home?"

I laughed. "You're a lot like me, son."

"What do you mean?"

"When you want something, you do all the hard work to get it. That's a good thing."

He grinned proudly. "Good."

On the drive back to our neighborhood, I found my mind wandering back to Alaina again. There was something about her that was different from the others. She was genuine and warm, yet she was also strong and independent. As with every other time I saw her, she was dressed in an outfit that didn't necessarily match. It was like she woke up every morning and picked out whatever it was that would make sure she was seen from the International Space Station.

I snapped back to reality as we pulled into our driveway. The house was quiet, a stark contrast to the noisy bustle of the restaurant we'd just left.

"Can I use the computer now?" Rafe asked, eagerly pulling off his jacket.

"Sure, bud." I chuckled, ruffling his hair.

He darted off toward the den where the computer was. I had all the parental controls on it. I trusted him, but there were too many sick perverts that would try and worm their way into his game chats or the videos he liked to watch. I knew there was going to be a day he got exposed to that shit, but I was going to prevent it for as long as I could.

Left alone in the living room, I sank down onto the couch. There was a connection between me and Alaina. I felt it, and I could tell she felt it too. It wasn't forced or awkward. It was just easy . Maybe I was just longing for a partner. I wanted someone at my side, helping me raise this kid. It felt like it should be a team sport.

"Dad!" Rafe shouted from the den.

I took a deep breath and walked into the den to see what he needed. "Yes?"

"I looked at a website that has dogs that need homes," he said excitedly. "Look at this one!"

On the screen, a picture of an adorable golden retriever puppy mix with a tilt to his head was displayed. The description said, "Lucky is a six-month-old boy, full of energy and love! He was found abandoned near a warehouse and is now looking for his forever home."

My heart softened at the sight of those brown eyes staring at the camera. "He does seem like a good boy," I admitted.

"Can we get him, Dad? Please?"

"Did you find a vet? A doggy daycare? Do you know how hard it is to raise a puppy?"

I didn't even know how hard it was, but I had some experience raising a small human, and that had been difficult.

"No," he sighed.

"Like I said, you could look for the other stuff," I reminded him. "We don't need to rush out and get the first dog you see. I'm not saying no. I'm saying not right now. And you need to pack your bag for your sleepover tonight. We're supposed to be there in a couple of hours."

"Fine," he pouted.

Rafe stomped off to his room, disappointment radiating off him in waves. I watched him go, feeling a pang of regret. I didn't want to be the kind of father who crushed my son's hopes, but I also knew the importance of responsibility and planning ahead. My work often made it hard for me to give him all the attention he needed, so bringing a pet into our family was a decision that needed careful consideration.

Fortunately, the birthday party sleepover he was invited to would be a nice distraction. It was the first real party he'd been invited to. At his old school, he was an outcast, and despite the so-called rules about including everyone, that didn't always happen.

I pulled to a stop in front of the house in a nice part of town. I had spoken with the parents and felt comfortable leaving him. Rafe knew he could call me if something went wrong. I watched him run up to his friend's door, his backpack bouncing on his shoulders, with an uneasy knot in my stomach. It wasn't like I hadn't left Rafe in someone else's care before—his nanny, Lisa, had been with us since he was born and was practically family. But this felt different.

Rafe's entire life, I had been in control. I decided where he went, who he saw, and what he did. This sleepover was a step into the unknown. I shook my head, trying to dispel the ridiculous anxiety. He was going to have fun, and I should be happy for him.

The mother opened the door and waved at me. I watched Rafe go inside and the door closed behind him. It was like dropping him off at kindergarten that first day. I thought about parking down the street just in case he called. I didn't want to be across town if he needed me.

But I couldn't hover forever.

With nothing else to do and not thrilled with the idea of sitting in my car or sitting at home alone and worrying, I met up with Jake and a few other guys for a drink at an exclusive club downtown. The place was dimly lit and full of wealthy men and women who all seemed to know each other.

"Shit," Jake said when he saw me. "I didn't think you would actually show up."

"I'm here," I said with a shrug.

"How's Rafe?"

"Good. I think I'm the one that's having a hard time letting him out of my sight."

Jake laughed and clapped me on the back. "You're a good dad, man. It's normal to worry. He's growing up."

I sighed and took a long sip from my beer. "Yeah. It just happened so fast."

"That's how it goes," he said. "So, I've heard."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure you've hung out with a lot of friends with kids."

"I hang out with you," he retorted.

I managed a smirk at his comment, taking another swig of my beer. "Guess you're right."

Maybe it was time to let go a little, I mused, staring into the amber depths of my drink. Rafe was growing up. Perhaps it was time for me to grow a little too. I was single by choice. I always claimed it was because I didn't want to take time away from Rafe. Maybe it was time to give Rafe a little space.

Jake, always on the lookout for a pretty face, noticed a woman sitting at the bar. He grinned, signaling the waiter. "Send that lady a drink on me," he said, his voice full of confidence.

She was attractive. Looked like a lawyer or the executive type. Maybe a little buttoned up for my tastes. What was I saying? She was exactly my tastes. Except she was my taste pre-Alaina. Now, I wanted the bright and whimsical. I didn't want the sleek hairstyle and the designer outfits.

The waiter did as he was told. We all watched with varying degrees of amusement as the drink was delivered to her. To my surprise, the woman stood up, grabbed the drink, and marched over to our table.

"Which one of you bought me this?" she demanded, holding up the glass.

Jake looked like a kid who'd just found a shiny new toy. "That would be me, gorgeous."

The woman's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't appreciate unsolicited drinks. If you want to talk to me, be a man and do it directly." She set the drink down on the table with a sharp clink and turned her gaze on me, her eyes boring into mine. She looked like she was pissed at me.

I blinked, confused by the sudden attention. "Uh, do I know you?" I asked.

"No," she said, her tone icy. "But I know you ." With that, she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving us all staring after her.

Jake, ever the optimist, chuckled. "I think I just met my future wife. I like them mean."

I rolled my eyes. "You're delusional, Jake. That woman would eat you alive."

"Maybe that's what I'm into," he replied with a wink. "You sure you haven't tangled with her? She said she knew you."

"Trust me, I would remember that. I've never had anything to do with that woman."

"Sure, about that?" Jake raised an eyebrow, his signature grin playing on his lips.

I was sure because I hadn't been with a woman in a very long time. I had certainly not hooked up with anyone in Chicago.

But my mind lingered on the mysterious woman. Her eyes held a fierce determination, the kind that reminded me of Alaina.

I decided it was time to call it a night. "I'm heading home. See you guys later."

"Come on, Roan, stay a bit longer," Jake urged.

"Try not to get into trouble," I said and walked out of the bar.

Back at my house, the quiet was almost unsettling. I checked my phone again, half-expecting a call from Rafe asking me to come pick him up, but there was nothing. Feeling a bit lost, I sat down at my desk and opened my laptop.

As usual, I checked my email. I felt a rush of excitement when I saw a message from Alaina that was both unexpected and a little disconcerting. She was confirming my volunteer placement for the festival. Apparently, I'd been tasked with making cotton candy.

I fired off a quick reply, letting her know I had never made cotton candy in my life.

Her response came almost immediately. "It's fine. I know how to make it. We'll be working together."

I closed my laptop, a smile tugging at my lips. The thought of spending more time with Alaina made me very, very happy.