25. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

C annon leaned back in the wheelchair and relaxed for the first time in the last fifteen minutes. The guys deciding how to get him up the stairs to the observation area of the course was nerve-wracking. Bear and War were completely ignoring Flick, who had the most experience moving someone with Cannon's injuries. He wondered if he'd survived the motorcycle wreck for his friends to take him out on a Friday night at the tactical center.

Finally, Flick had motioned to Hennessy, Whiskey, and Dex to come over and help him. They'd lifted him and carried him up the stairs. Ellie had run ahead and had his wheelchair waiting for him.

"Hey Ellie, please don't think me being here is because I don't trust you and Dex. I just needed out of the house, and I wanted to see how the course worked as a game."

"Oh, Cannon, no worries. I can't imagine how stir crazy you are having to wait for people to help you places. I'm excited to see how they do, too. I'm going to go down and give them their instructions before they start."

Ellie ran down the stairs. She didn't walk anywhere she could run. He wondered if it had to do with keeping up with her two sons. She seemed like she was always running places. After her opening up to him about the boys, he needed to think how maybe he could help.

"Okay, everyone, listen up."

Cannon could hear Ellie as if she was right beside him. She was using their PA system, which was good because no one could say they hadn't heard the directions. He'd hung out with the Nelsons enough to know they'd use every advantage to win. He listened with half an ear to Ellie's announcements until he heard his name.

"I'm sorry, what?" Cannon yelled.

"Hennessy asked if you announced what you're having yet," Ellie yelled.

"We're having twin girls," Cannon yelled.

"Told you," Hennessy yelled.

Whiskey walked over and handed Hennessy a stack of money.

"You guys bet on the babies?" Cannon asked.

"Yo, we bet on anything. I bet the least likeliest because I knew the payout would be worth it," Hennessy yelled up.

"Fuck, we have to wear that stupid shirt for a week unless nobody tells my wife," Whiskey grumbled.

"Oh no, I had to wear that shirt last week, so I'm for sure telling Vivi," Hennessy replied, shoving Whiskey. "Though I rock the pink shirt. Maybe I should have it be my signature color."

"Well, you have to wear it enough," Quinton replied.

Cannon chuckled because suddenly Ellie was running toward the edge of the area because the Nelson cousins were hitting and knocking each other down. Ellie left for a minute and then returned with a pitcher of water. Ellie was fitting in just fine if she was going to do what he thought she was.

She dodged a couple guys to dump the water on Hennessy and Whiskey, who were wrestling on the floor. When they sprang apart, she blew a whistle.

"Now, if everyone could listen, we'll get this started. You want to brawl, then get out of the course. Got it?"

Hennessy grinned despite being soaked. "She's feisty, isn't she? We're listening."

Cannon listened to Ellie and didn't hear anything that he wasn't pleased with. War, Bear, Flick, Rascal, Baron, and Roam joined him in the observation area. Once Ellie and Dex got them started, he turned to the men gathered around him. They were his best chance at putting this with Jesse on solid ground.

"Hey, I'd like your help with something."

A chorus of sure and anything had him relaxing. He knew they'd have his back but sometimes, it was good to be reminded.

"First, I need to find someone to talk to about my fucked-up childhood. I don't want what I went through to ever influence or touch the girls. And I need some ideas on how to show Jesse that I'm all in and so fucking sorry."

"I can give you a name of who I talked to. Easy going guy but the homework he gives you and the way he has you examine stuff really helps," Roam said.

"I'll take it. I want to be the best dad I can be, and I need some more help."

Cannon paused because he hated being out of control and asking for help seemed like he couldn't handle how to be a good boyfriend.

"You can share with us. We're all brothers and let's face it, Baron and I have royally screwed up with women," Rascal coaxed.

"Speak for yourself. My woman thinks the sun rises and sets with my presence," Baron bragged.

Roam and War chuckled.

"Yeah, and I bet when she was yelling at you for throwing away her sourdough starter, she was dreaming of how you brought the sun into her life," War said.

"Yep, Cannon. Now you're joining the club. You raise your kids. Do your best so they can give you crap the rest of your life. And how was I to know that globby jar open on the counter was something she wanted to keep. Heck, the stuff was crawling up the sides of the jar like that old movie The Blob. I cleaned the kitchen and jar, then put it in the dishwasher. I thought I'd get thanked. Instead, she yelled at me that I'd set her back seven days in creating the best sourdough starter. Women," Baron groused.

Cannon laughed along with everyone else, then winced when Quinton took out four of his cousins from his place on top of one of the fake buildings.

"It's getting a little wild down there," Cannon commented.

"Yeah, but when you're well, we so need to do this," Flick said.

"Now on to what you need to do, you need to show her she matters," Rascal said.

Cannon waited for him to continue and stared at his friends, who had their own women, and they were nodding yes. That was it? Show her she matters? He was wanting concrete ways to show Jesse he was all in.

"How about an example because ‘show her she matters' sucks balls as far as helping me."

Bear leaned against the railing, looking directly at Cannon.

"When I want to do something nice for Winnie, I think of what she likes. Now my woman loves books. She loves for me to spend time with her, especially on the bike. She also wants to know I'm thinking about her. I write notes sometimes and hide them where she'll find them."

"Notes?" Cannon asked.

"Here's a picture of one I hid in her desk drawer."

Bear leaned over and showed him a picture. The note said I can't wait to spend time with you tonight. I love my sunshine and our lightning bugs.

"Another way I show her she matters is I send her a note with some meals I'll bring home for all of us from the diner. When she's worked all day and we're both low on sleep, knowing that she doesn't need to think about supper helps her. She gets home first with the kids, so if I don't bring something from the diner, she'll start supper before I get there. Telling her I'm taking care of it is one less thing she worries about. I also set up date nights for us and figure out who is taking the kids."

Cannon could see how Winnie would love that stuff, but how could he figure out what Jesse would love?

"Think about Jesse's likes and dislikes. What makes her smile? Bear had it easy because he's known Winnie a long time. I had to figure it out with Sprite while also having a bunch of kids who need our time. For Sprite, her love language is time and physical touch. Her mom was not someone who gave her either. Sprite and I start most mornings watching the sunrise together. I fix her coffee and have it ready for her. I get to cuddle her on the porch swing, and she gets to know I value time with just her," Roam said.

Cannon nodded like he got it, but it seemed like this was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He imagined the guys giving him a blueprint and following it exactly. But to do it right, he needed to get to know Jesse better. Well, he had a plan and now he'd need to work on it.

"I'm going to figure out the rest, but for now, I'd like to set up having a delivery of Chinese food tomorrow night from the diner. Jesse really likes the lo mein."

Baron laid his hand on Cannon's shoulder. "Fantastic start. Now, how do you think they're doing?"

Baron motioned to the Nelsons down on the course. It looked like they were starting over because Quinton had knocked everyone out. Depending on how easy clean-up was, he might make this a monthly thing or something that could be booked specially. Of course, once they had the twins, he didn't think he'd be wanting to be gone in the evenings. What if he missed the first time they smiled or rolled over? There were so many things he was looking forward to. He so totally could do this.

Last night, when he'd been forced to move into Jesse's room, had been the best sleep he'd had. She'd leaned toward him, kissed him on the cheek, and said good night. It was the sweetest kiss without any expectation of anything sexual. He'd thought he wouldn't be able to sleep with her beside him, but he'd relaxed and drifted off to sleep. He wasn't sure if it was the pain medicine making him sleep so deeply or being around Jesse, but he hadn't woken up yelling from any dreams at her house.

When they woke up, Jesse had smiled at him and said good morning. He'd realized he wanted every morning to start that way. He might need to buy Lilly and Dolly a bag of treats. He'd hoped they'd eventually get to him sleeping beside her, but the dogs had forced it earlier.

Now he needed to get his head screwed on straight so he and Jesse could start building their life together. He wasn't looking forward to talking to anyone about his childhood. As an adult, he'd realized his dad was abusive. As a child, all Cannon had known was that his dad was mad at him all the time.