9. Violet

9

Violet

“ W eekend time,” Liza yells and does a little happy dance as we meet in the courtyard after our last class.

It’s Friday, and the first football game of the season is tomorrow night. I never missed any of Hartley’s high school football games, so seeing him play college ball this year is a huge deal. He had a pretty good run last season, but he’s the official first-string wide receiver, so that means he’ll be getting the ball a lot more. I watched all of his games last year on livestream, counting down the days until I was at Springs U with him.

“I’m pumped for the game tomorrow. What are you wearing? More importantly, what are you wearing out after?” Liza asks with as much energy as she could possibly have. I swear she’s like the blonde energizer bunny.

“Out? Ummm, I usually just go home after the games and watch some highlights on ESPN,” I share shyly.

“Well, get ready because we are going out after all the games. All the guys head out to Downtown Tap. It’s a blast.”

“I’m not sure,” I say reluctantly.

“Come on. What better night to step out than the first home game? You’ll love it, and I will be with you the whole time,” she assures me.

“Ok. I’ll try it.” I smile at my newfound friend.

I need to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people. Liza has been a really good friend, and I want to spend time with her, but I immediately feel my chest tense up, and my palms get sweaty.

What if Liza ditches me at the bar? What if Hartley isn’t there? What if I run out of things to talk about to the group? I start spiraling.

Liza stops walking and taps my shoulder. “Vi, are you ok? You look like a zombie.”

I shake my head and assure her that I’m fine, but I most definitely am not fine. Especially if the night goes as unpredictable as my first college party went. I crave predictability. It helps with my anxiety. If I know what to expect, I don’t have to panic. Unfortunately, nothing seems to go as planned at Springs U.

***

“I’m ready,” I yell to Liza from my bathroom. Makeup and hair products are scattered everywhere. This is what preparing for a night out is like. We decided to get ready here since Liza lives in the dorms and has a roommate. Plus, Hartley has been gone all day for game prep. We both chose short, ripped jean shorts with Springs U football jerseys. These are shorter than I am used to wearing, but I said I wanted to step out of my comfort zone this year.

It doesn’t hurt that there is a strong possibility of running into Ryan at the bar after the game, and I want him to see what he’s missing out on. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since that text. I avoid him in class by arriving early and leaving after most of the class is already gone. I’m wearing Hartley’s jersey, and Liza is wearing…

“Is that Locke’s jersey number?!” I ask as I grab the back of her jersey to get a closer look.

“Uh, yeah, it is. He gave it to me last year when we were a thing. I haven’t had a chance to get another one.” She shrugs, looking defeated. Liza is usually bubbly and confident. I don’t like that the mention of Locke dims her sparkle.

“No way. Let’s switch. You can have Hartley’s for the night, and I’ll wear Locke’s. I barely know him, so it’s fine.” Liza gives me the biggest hug in the world.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you so much,” she whispers into my ear.

My apartment is close to the stadium, so we decided to walk. Bringing a car would have put us in a pickle later if we got drinks at the bar. We look cute, both of our hair curled half up and half down with two high ponytails. I actually love having a friend that isn’t a boy. Getting ready for tonight was different in a good way. I liked getting Liza’s opinion on my outfit and sharing skin and makeup products.

The music blasts through the speakers when we get to the stadium. It is packed with rows of students ready to watch Springs U kick off their season. We shuffle to our end seats and try to spot Hartley and a few of Liza’s friends on the team. I didn’t realize how awesome these seats are. We are the third row back from the bench.

Springs U is a smaller college, so each player gets two season tickets in a great section. Hartley gave me his for Liza and me to use. We’ll have the perfect view of the team. I love sitting close to the bench. You can watch all of the emotions the players go through during the game. Having family in the stands helps Hartley keep his head on straight. In high school, he used to slam his helmet down when he dropped a pass or ran a route wrong. I told him to look at me when he felt overwhelmed or defeated, and that seemed to help him keep his cool.

Coming back to reality from my zone out, I spot the insanely attractive, tattooed running back. He’s facing my direction, and I know he’s number nine. He’s on the field, stretching away from the others. While the other guys are chatting and running plays, he is silent with earbuds in and a stern look on his face. This man oozes seriousness and confidence. He’s a little intimidating, but I’ve dealt with men like him my whole life. I’ve always been surrounded by men since I was a little girl.

He’s nodding to the music zoned in. Why are guys so attractive while stretching? It’s not fair. As I’m shamelessly admiring the way he fills out his blue and white jersey, his eyes lift up and catch mine. I quickly shoot my eyes down to my phone and pretend to text someone.

Great! Now he knows you were staring. He made it crystal clear that he wants to forget about our kiss, and I’m over here being a stalker.

After I deem it safe to look up again, I spot him running drills. He’s facing away from me now so I can stare. He’s fast. No one running drills with him is even close to his speed. As long as I’ve watched Hartley play and listened to my grandpa’s glory days stories, I know talent when I see it. Ryan is a natural.

“Are you done looking Ryan up and down? Or do you need a little more time?” Liza giggles and nudges me with her elbow.

“I wasn’t staring!” I chew on my thumbnail, taking another glance at Ryan. “Well, I guess I was, but I was watching for football purposes,” I lie.

“Sure, that body is one hundred percent for scientific purposes only,” she says.

“Men like Ryan complicate things, and I don’t need my life any more complicated.”

“Oh, you’re one hundred percent correct. Doesn’t stop our hearts from beating for them anyway.” Why is she so dead on? The timer signals the team to stop and huddle up for the pregame announcements.

Once the game starts, Liza and I don’t sit down again. We scream our hearts out when they storm onto the field to the loud music. The guys are pumped. Hartley dashes out of the tunnel and onto the field, and I’m overwhelmed with pride in him making his dream a reality. During our first offensive possession, Hartley manages to have three receptions. Go bestie.

Locke is doing a great job at keeping the offensive line tight and protected. And then there’s Ryan.

As much as I try to keep my eyes locked in on Hartley or literally anyone else on the team, they constantly drift to Ryan. He’s polarizing on the field. No one can catch him once he breaks free from the backfield. He’s an integral part of the offense. Even though he and Hartley play different positions, they work the offense beautifully together. They are both so talented that the coach uses them as decoys for each other. Just when you think Hartley will get the ball, Ryan takes it for a twenty-yard carry. When the other team thinks it is a surefire running play, Hartley goes outside for the lateral pass. Springs U drives down to the 15-yard line. They are so close to getting the first touchdown of the season. I see the play set up. It looks like Hartley will get the ball, but the quarterback fakes it and hands it off to Ryan. Ryan pummels through the defense and sneaks in for a touchdown! The crowd goes wild. Liza and I jump up and down in a tight hug.

“GO RYAN!” she yells.

“Let’s go, Springs U!” I scream.

The team celebrates in the end zone. They are also doing their individual handshakes with Ryan before he spikes the ball and turns to the crowd. Before I can process what is happening, Ryan locks eyes with me in the stands, takes off his helmet, and smirks. The loud stadium music and cheers go silent. My heartbeat is pummeling in my ear. At this moment, we are the only two people in the stadium. I give him the biggest smile and wave before he quickly looks back to his teammates.

What. The. Actual. Heck. Is. Life. Right. Now.

Thankfully, Liza is too busy high-fiving with strangers behind us to notice that intense interaction.

It meant nothing, Violet, stop it. He is the star running back, and you are you .

I’m nothing special, the girl next door type, but definitely not like any of these girls that throw themselves at Ryan and the rest of the team at every party. When Ryan turns away from me, I see him walk straight to the live stream camera past the end zone and give a big heart. Why did he do that? Who did he do that for?

Maybe there is more to Ryan Shane than I thought.