7. Violet

7

Violet

W hat. Just. Happened.

I find myself standing in the middle of the party, completely dumbfounded by the last ten minutes of my life. One second, I was having an inner crisis thinking about kissing someone named Locke, and the next, a familiar black-haired boy swooped in and gave me the best kiss of my life. He’s so much bigger than me, and it was nice feeling him hover over me in that way, almost like he owns me.

No. Stop it, Violet. It was a dare. For you, not for Ryan.

Nothing was real about it, but it felt like it. He touched my hips gently, and my body reacted in a way I had never experienced before. In true Mr. Football fashion, he bolted once he caught my eyes. Hartley warned me about football players since I became old enough to date. He said they’re all players who just want to win every girl, him included. So why am I falling so easily for the tattooed running back after one kiss?

After a few more dares, everyone seems to scatter as the loud music picks up from the corner of the main room, but Liza stays by my side. “Violet, what was that?!” she whispers in my ear, excitement written all over her face as she grabs my shoulders to shake me back into reality. She’s doing a little dance in front of me. I shrug because I’m clearly just as confused as she is, and my feet are still glued to the floor in the same spot Ryan rocked my world in with one kiss.

“Violet, I’m going to need you to tell me what that was all about right now before I have a heart attack! Ryan doesn’t play games with us. He has never participated in a dare. He usually minds his own business.”

“I don’t know. I’ve met him twice with Hart, but the only other time, he was super rude and blunt with his opinions. He probably just felt bad for me. That’s all. The pathetic girl that can’t get out of her own head to play a party game,” I say reluctantly. I’m always like this. I’m never the prettiest or most polarizing girl in the room. I blend in like a wallflower. That’s what I do best. I wasn’t made to stand out.

Liza scoffs. “ Oh yeah, ok . Violet, you are drop-dead gorgeous. Savannah threw that dare at you because she knows you’re hot and can get any one of these Springs U players if you wanted, and she can’t. Even in that slutty outfit.”

“Ok, now I know you’ve drank too much. I am not ‘hot,’ and I don’t date, especially not athletes. Guys don’t notice me.”

“We’ll work on that,” Liza says with a sneaky grin, and I somehow can feel that she plans to break me out of my shell more than I anticipated this year.

Having enough fun for one night, I decide it’s time for me to get back home.

“I’m leaving. Here’s my number, Liza. Seriously, thank you so much for tonight. I can’t wait to hang out again.”

Hartley has been long gone, and I really need his advice on what happened tonight. I think when I came here I expected it to be just like high school with Hartley, but tonight was a reality check. We're not kids anymore, and I'll have to surround myself with more girls like Liza. She had my back tonight, and we barely know each other. I appreciate that more than she will ever know.

I walk home from the party in the dark night air, reeling from tonight’s events. Hartley and I share a small used car because I can’t afford one yet, but we both decided to walk tonight. I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to drink or not, and Hartley always goes hard at parties. I walk up the stairs to my apartment and hastily unlock the door.

“ HARTLEY! ” I scream into our apartment as I slam the door for dramatic effect. It doesn’t take me long to find my best friend making out with a random girl on our brand-new couch. Note to self: bleach the couch tomorrow.

She’s the typical Hartley type: blonde hair, big boobs, small waist, and up for a wild time. I see her pink crop top is dangerously close to coming off. Hartley is in a hoodie and boxers. His hands are gripping her waist, and she’s straddling him, twisted in an intense kiss. They don’t bother to break their raunchy kiss until I’m hovering over the star-crossed lovers. I clear my throat to get Hartley’s attention. He looks up at me calmly and nods. “Oh hey, Vi, how was the rest of the party?”

“We need to talk, Hart,” I say to my best friend with a terrifying calmness in my voice.

“Huh?” blondie asks.

“Look, this isn’t your problem, and I’m sorry for hijacking your night. I really need you to leave, though.” Hartley seems to judge the seriousness in my voice, and he asks the girl to leave after they exchange phone numbers and at least five more quick kisses. My emotions are all over the place, but at least Hartley has the common sense to get this girl out before I break down in front of both of them. The door clicks shut, and I start bawling into my hands. I can’t catch my breath. I’m heaving loudly, and my eyes are sore and puffy within a few seconds.

“Vi, come here.” Hartley grabs me in his arms and squeezes tight. I nuzzle my head into his soft hoodie while he brushes the hair back away from my streaming eyes. He knows that I can’t talk when I’m like this, so he just holds me in silence and lets me cry into his broad chest.

After I calm down, I give my anchor a detailed recap of the rest of the night. I tell him about Ryan kissing me and bolting like I had the plague. I tell him how humiliated I felt in the middle of the party by myself after Mr. Football darted without a word. I choose to leave out the part where I didn’t want the kiss to end. We tell each other everything but now doesn’t seem like the time to dive into my mixed feelings about his teammate.

“Hart, I could have really used back up,” I whine to my best friend. Finding words after sobbing is the worst. I feel pathetic for needing someone like I need him.

“Vi, I’m so sorry. It looked like you were having fun with Liza, and I wanted to give you space to make a new friend.”

“I just panic so easily when something unexpected happens. Liza did try to save me, though.” I smile, thinking about having someone in my corner besides Hartley. The bubbly firecracker did stand up for me, a complete stranger, in front of everyone.

“She’s cool. I trust her. I wouldn’t have left you with anyone else.” I choose to believe him because Liza does seem trustworthy, and Hartley hasn’t ever left me with anyone who would cause me trouble.

“I may get kicked off the team tomorrow, though…” he replies with a scowl.

“No way! Hart, don’t lose your head and do something stupid. It was a kiss. It meant nothing,” I plead with him to keep his cool. He has a tendency to fly off the handle at a moment's notice.

“Vi, you know how I…”

I cut him off quickly. “Hartley. Please. I shouldn’t have been a brat and ruined your night. I’m working on it. When I tell you things, I don’t need you to bulldoze. I just need someone to listen.”

“You did come in like a little tornado, but you know I’ve got you no matter what.”

“I know.” I give him a tight squeeze.

“I’m not tired. Can we binge 90 Day Fiance to get my mind off of everything?” I ask him with puppy dog eyes. I know he’ll groan but ultimately say yes. He loves the show but will never admit it.

“I’ll get the M&M’s and ice cream. Grab the fluffy blankets from my room!” he yells behind him as he dashes into the kitchen to whip up my go-to dessert. After three episodes, Hartley is snoring on the couch, so I turn the TV off and sneak into my bedroom.

I choose my comfiest pajamas: an oversized T-shirt and boy shorts. Not even mind-numbing reality TV can help me. I toss and turn the entire night, praying to get at least an hour of sleep, but thoughts of Ryan’s lips, his woodsy smell, and the way his head tipped into mine tonight kept my mind racing.

It’s 3 a.m., and I haven’t fallen asleep. My phone vibrates loudly on my worn wooden desk that I use as a nightstand. It’s one of the last pieces of furniture I kept from my grandpa. Each wooden grain holds a different story of us that I hold close to my heart. We spent so much time in his office, and he always let me draw next to him while he worked quietly at this desk. I drew him so many pictures. Most were horrendous, but he hung up every single one of them around the paint-chipped walls of that room. I snap out of the memory and roll over to see who’s texting me. It’s odd for me to get texts, especially in the middle of the night. My only friend is Hartley, and he’s passed out on the couch.

Liza: Hey girl!!! Let’s go grab dinner tomorrow in the dining hall. BTW Ryan came back to the party and demanded your number from me with that hot, brooding scowl. Weirdo. I gave it to him and also told him that you are way out of his league. LOLLLLL

Me: Hahahaha. Sounds good. 5ish? Please tell me you didn’t really tell him that.

Me: He left as soon as he realized what he did anyway. I’m embarrassed to even show my face around the team anymore.

Liza: EMBARRASSED?! You don’t know half of the things they have gotten into. You have nothing to worry about.

Me: Ugh. I do though. They were prob laughing at me.

Liza: OMG I FORGOT. One of the guys asked me about you!!! He said he’s never seen you before :)

Me: Why would he ask about me?!

Liza: bc you were looking like a snack tonight. Duuuuhhhhh.

Me: Snack?

Liza: The kind that all of the guys want to try

Me: LIZA

Liza: What?! You’ll see how it is!

Me: haha ok I’ll see you tomorrow, and you can fill me in.

Liza: YES MAM! Nighty night :)

I laugh softly because this girl has a way of pushing me out of my comfort zone. I hope I’m ready for it. I put my phone down and adjust my pillow for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. I can’t fall asleep unless my pillow is at max comfort. It’s a thing. My phone buzzes again, and I chuckle, knowing it’s Liza following up on party drama, probably a thread of emojis, but I am wrong, so wrong.

Maybe Ryan: Violet, I got your number from Liza at the party. I thought it would be funny to give Locke a taste of his own medicine during that game. Didn’t mean for you to get stuck in the crossfire. Anyway, see you around.

Me: Who texts without saying their name?

Maybe Ryan: It’s Ryan.

Me: I figured. Thanks.. I guess?

Ryan: See ya.