28. Violet

28

Violet

R yan left a half hour ago. I was so worn out from our morning escapades that I fell back asleep for a few minutes when he left. My alarm buzzes, telling me it’s time to get ready for my first day of work. I can’t deny how excited I am to work at a local indie bookstore. I’m still nervous, though. Self-doubt has always been something I’ve struggled with. My mind runs through a list of things that could go wrong today.

Will I know how to work the cash register? Will I have enough knowledge about the authors that the store sells?

The more I question myself, the more I fall into a mental spiral. I pull out the worn piece of paper my therapist gave me. Grounding techniques don’t always help, but I’m willing to try. I mentally flip through which technique will work best for me today. I land on counting backward from one hundred. After a few minutes, I’m much calmer than I was before.

I hop out of bed and pick out an outfit for the day, choosing a modest pink sundress with yellow flowers and sandals. It’s Florida, after all. I apply light makeup: foundation, lip gloss, and mascara, and pop a few curls in my hair. I take one last look in the mirror to double-check my look and say my affirmations. On my way out of the bedroom, I stop in the kitchen to grab a snack, noticing a ripped piece of paper on the table that wasn’t there last night.

Stop doubting yourself. You’re the hottest person in the room. Love, Ryan.

I must have the goofiest smile plastered across my face. He knows exactly what to say to bring me out of my darkest self-doubt thoughts. I stick the small piece of paper in my purse and jet out.

Hartley left the car this morning and caught a ride to the field. Coastal Books isn’t far from my apartment, but I leave extra early to allow for traffic and nerves. I connect my phone to the car and decide on My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift. Folklore always settles my nerves because sad songs are my thing. Belting out the lyrics takes my mind off of all my extra worries clouding my thoughts.

Before long, I spot my new job location and park out front. I take a deep breath, check my makeup in the small car mirror, and walk in. Fake it till you make it, T. Swift says. This is the cutest bookstore I’ve ever seen. I fell in love with the atmosphere when I came to my interview, but now I can really appreciate it. This will be my home away from home.

“Hey, girl!” A woman in her late twenties with jet-black hair, waves to me from the register. I immediately recognized her from my interview. She’s Mason’s sister, Paisley. I wasn’t thrilled when Ryan told me this information, but I would be stupid to turn down my dream job for my pride, so I caved.

“Hi! Do you remember me?” I ask awkwardly.

“Of course! You’re my new employee of the month. AKA my only employee,” she says with joyous laughter that is contagious.

“It’s just you and me?" This is perfect.

“Yep! Just the two of us. I was getting bored here by myself, so I figured I would hire a friend. When you walked in, I knew you would be the perfect fit for Coastal Books,” she adds with bubbly confidence.

“Thank you so much for this. I love reading romance books, so this is the perfect job for me.” I subconsciously start picking my nails.

“You’re gonna love it here! We have awesome customers and weekly book signings, so you’ll get to meet some of the local authors.”

“What? That is amazing,” I can't hold back the smile that takes over my face.

“Let me show you around. It’s pretty simple once you know the layout of the books, and the register is fool-proof.” I’m glad Paisley has confidence in me. It’s making this transition easier than I imagined. Paisley spends the next hour or so showing me how the books are organized, the bookmark and stickers section, and the register. She was right. The register is super simple.

“I think that’s enough work for now. Are you hungry? I know the best pizza spot, just a few doors down. We can lock up and enjoy lunch out?” she offers with the friendliest eyes.

“Sure. I would love to.” Everyone at Springs U has been so friendly and welcoming. I could see myself setting roots in this place. First Liza, then Ryan, and now Paisley. I may have finally found the place where I belong.

Paisley locks the door, flips the sign from “open” to “be right back”, and we’re off. On our walk to lunch, I take in the beauty of this small town. I love it here. Paisley pushes open the door to the restaurant, and we seat ourselves. We decided to share a cheese pizza with cokes.

“So, Mason tells me you are dating one of his teammates?” Her hands lock under chin waiting for my response. I get a really good vibe from Paisley, and I would love to make another friend.

“Yep, Ryan Shane. He’s a running back.”

“Ryan?! Yes, I know him. Ryan and Mason played little league together at the local park. He always came over to the house for lunch after the games,” she says with joy.

Before I can answer, she says, “I’m so glad he found you. He was always so quiet. Like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. You seem like a good match for him.”

“It wasn’t in my plans to find a boyfriend my freshman year, but he bulldozed into my life in the best way,” I laugh.

“That’s Ryan for ya. I wish Mason would stop messing around and find someone like you.” She picks up a big slice and hovers it over her mouth before taking a bite.

A flashback of my drunken night at Downtown Tap flashes before my eyes. Ryan grabbed me and flung me over his shoulders so I wouldn’t talk to Mason.

“I met Mason once after the first home game. He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself to me at the bar, and I felt comfortable around him.” I spare Paisley the details of her baby brother’s night out.

“Hmmmm. Knowing Mason, he was trying to hook up with you,” she laughs uncontrollably.

I nearly spit my drink out. “Uh, um, no, I don’t think so. I’m not really most people’s type.”

“You’re joking, right?” She looks puzzled.

“No?” I shrug.

“You’ve already made an impression on my brother, his friend, and probably half of the team. You’re memorable, Violet. Take it from me. I’m married to a former Springs U player. I know how they operate.” She flashes me a huge smile.

“You’re too nice to me,” I responded shyly. I’ll admit I’m the worst at taking compliments.

“I speak the truth.”

We spent the rest of lunch discussing my classes and what brought me here for college. Paisley insists on covering the bill for both of us. I argue with her for a moment but ultimately cave to her generosity. I need to get better at letting people do things for me. We take the short walk back to Coastal Books and spend the rest of the afternoon stocking shelves and helping customers find the perfect book.

When five o’clock rolls around, I help Paisley close the store and head back home to get ready for the game. Liza is meeting me at the apartment. It’s become a tradition to get ready together. I spend my drive home reflecting quietly on the beautiful day and counting the blessings this town has brought me.