Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

Sabrina

It was a shitty work day after a shitty work week after a shitty work month.

I honestly didn't know if my boss was riding my ass more than usual, or if I was just more sensitive to it because I was already so stressed out with Daphne.

She was stuck in the house again for the time being. But she still managed to give me a lot of grief and some new sorts of headaches.

I mean, two nights ago, I walked in to find her watching some… mildly adult of content on her laptop. Only to learn it was adult content being made by that new friend of hers. Who was, apparently, killing it with her porn subscription service.

Which left me in a fun new parental position where I had to try to remain sex (and sex-worker) positive, but also impress upon my impressionable daughter that A, she was too young to look at that stuff and B, that she herself was absolutely under no circumstances going to film any sort of content of herself.

The conversation devolved into her calling me a prude and shaming Tammy for ‘getting her bag.'

Honestly, when I heard what Tammy was making, I was almost convinced that I, myself, was in the wrong field.

I figured it wasn't exactly the right time to tell my kid that I expected her to go to college and get a job where she, you know, kept her clothes on.

I hadn't been scrimping and saving and shopping sales and wearing clothes from sixteen years ago to get a decent college savings going for her only for her to not go.

But the college talk was going to wait for when she wasn't so actively volatile.

So, yeah, I was probably just a little… fragile as a whole. So my boss ranting and raving at me for over an hour because one of the maids had neglected to change the sheets in one of the suites after it was requested had a headache throbbing in my temples as I shoved three mini peanut butter cups into my mouth at once as I hid in the storage closet.

The storage closet was a secret refuge of mine since I first started working at the hotel when Daphne was a baby.

Back then, I'd taken to the storage room to sob over my sleeplessness, stress, and guilt at being away from my baby.

The longer I worked there, the more it became my place to decompress or shove the snacks into my mouth that I had hidden in a bucket on the top shelf until I felt ready to face people again.

It wasn't until I got back to the front desk that I opened the drawer to check my phone. We weren't even supposed to have them at all while at work, but almost all of us—especially those of us with kids—kept them nearby, just with all the sounds off.

I saw the missed call, and felt my stomach twist at the message.

I thought Daphne had understood that it was incredibly inappropriate of her to try to flirt with a man Callow's age.

And I wasn't even focusing on the fact that she should have been in school at this time of day.

But the seriousness in Callow's tone when I called him back from the bathroom had my blood running cold.

Something happened.

Something not great.

I mean, he did try to tell me she was okay. But I didn't exactly put my faith to rest in that as I pulled at my uniform, mussed my hair, wet my face carefully like I'd been sweating as I was sick, then made loud, painful retching sounds before making my way out of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Maria, one of the maids, asked as she spotted me.

"Don't get too close," I said, holding a hand up. "I think I got a stomach bug."

"What is all this standing around?" Abby, our boss, asked from behind me.

"Careful, she's contagious," Maria said, reaching for a washcloth off of the cleaning cart and pressing it to her face.

"With what?" Abby asked, moving away as I turned.

Abby, amongst being an impossible to please boss, was also a bit of a germaphobe. Which worked in my favor.

"Stomach bug," I said, pretending to gag a bit.

"You need to leave," she said, tone brusque. "Right now."

"If you're…" I started, gagging again, "sure," I finished.

When she confirmed that she wanted me to leave, I all but ran out of there. They probably thought I was in a rush to get to my bathroom. Which was fine. I just hoped no one noticed that I turned the wrong way out of the lot, heading toward the Henchmen clubhouse instead of home.

My mind raced with possibilities as I made my way onto the street the clubhouse was located.

But something about how the lot was completely full of bikes and cars all parked haphazardly made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

When I climbed out of the car and saw red drops on the ground near an SUV, though, my stomach dropped to my feet.

Then I was running toward the door. When I got to it, someone opened it for me. Another man pointed toward the kitchen.

It was a relatively small space with a round table only big enough to seat three.

Sitting at it, though, was my kid.

She had swollen eyelids and tear-streaked cheeks.

"Daph," I said, rushing toward her, dropping down onto my knees and looking her all over.

"I'm okay," Daphne said, but her eyes were looking watery again.

"You don't look okay," I said, reaching up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm not hurt," she clarified.

"Okay. Alright. That's good. What happened?" I asked.

It was then I heard a throat clearing, making me get to my feet and whip around.

There was Callow.

I swear he looked even more handsome than before.

Until, of course, my gaze panned down to see blood dripping down his arm into what was a small puddle on the floor.

"Oh, my God," I said, nerves jangling. "What happened? What's going on?" I asked, not sure who to look to at that moment.

There was a movement at the corner of my vision, making me turn to see a woman with black shoulder-length hair, rich umber skin, and deep green lipstick standing there.

"How about I hang with Daphne for a couple minutes so you two can talk?" she suggested, but stayed in the doorway in case I told her to fuck off.

"This is Cali," Callow introduced her.

My gaze slid to his, seeing something heavy in his light blue eyes.

When I looked over at Daphne, she gave me a slight nod for her consent.

"Okay," I agreed, nodding at Cali. "Thank you," I added.

Callow moved away from the counter then moved out of the kitchen after Cali moved in, leaving me to follow him as I heard my daughter greet the woman.

I followed Callow into the common room, out the back door, around an in-ground swimming pool, then over toward a set of picnic tables.

Callow sat on top of one, his arm hanging over the side, so the blood could drop onto the ground instead of the wood.

"Callow, what the hell is going on?" I asked, belly sloshing around, making me regret those peanut butter cups I'd eaten.

"Some of my brothers and I were… heading to work," he said, watching my face.

"Work," I repeated. "Arms dealing," I said, watching his brows go up ever so slightly.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Okay," I agreed, deciding I was just going to have to wrap my head around that whole thing later. "How is my daughter involved in that?"

"Daphne cut class today and was hanging out at the ice cream place," he told me, and I had to pretend it didn't make me queasy that he knew more about my kid's whereabouts than I did right then. "I don't know if she was alone or not. But she saw me driving past, then followed me across the highway."

"Jesus," I hissed, deciding I needed to go over my list of therapists again and just pick one already.

"The problem was she interrupted a… deal," Callow told me.

An arms deal.

My daughter got in the middle of an actual crime.

"I put her in the back of the SUV. But just a few minutes later, the whole situation went sideways. There was shooting," he said, making my gaze go back to his arm.

"You were shot?"

"I went back to the car to get Daphne out so we could shelter somewhere safer," he told me. "A bullet ripped through the glass and grazed me. It's nothing. But Daphne was understandably hysterical as we ducked behind the engine block, waiting for it to be over."

"You're sure she's okay?" I asked, glancing back at the clubhouse.

"She wasn't shot. She's, physically, okay. But when it was over, she had to get back in the car with me and one of our other brothers who was shot several times. So she's… been through a lot of shit today."

My legs felt a little shaky.

I moved toward him, this man who I maybe should have been pissed at since his violent lifestyle had put Daphne in danger. But the fact of the matter was, my kid should have been in school. She shouldn't have been following around a full-grown man. And when things did happen, he'd jumped into action to protect her.

I climbed up on the picnic table, exhaling hard, trying to grab hold of a singular thought instead of getting dizzy from the hurricane of them.

"Wait… why am I not talking to the police right now?" I asked. But when I glanced over at Callow, his brow was raised in a way that said You know the answer to that. "Right," I said, nodding.

"I can't stop you from going to the police," he said.

"Then why did you even tell me?"

"Gonna be honest, Daphne tried to get me not to bring you into the loop," he said, making me sigh.

Of course she did.

What was going on with my daughter?

"But this isn't some stupid teenage shit. She's… been through some shit. You needed to know about it."

"Thank you for not taking her up on that. I'm sure that would have been easier for you. I, ah, I'm not going to call the police," I said.

I mean, I wasn't going to lie. It would probably reflect badly on me. Not only was my kid hanging out with outlaw bikers, but she was skipping school, and who-knew what else.

Calling them was, objectively, the "right" thing to do. But that didn't mean it was the right thing to do for us.

"You alright?" Callow asked as I sat there for a long few moments, just lost in my own thoughts.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

God, I did.

And this wasn't exactly something I felt like I could talk about to Britney. I knew she would insist I go to the cops.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do about this?" I asked, glancing over at him.

"I'm kinda hoping that this scared the shit out of her," Callow said.

"Yet she still managed to be clear-headed enough to try to manipulate you into not telling me what happened," I said.

"Yeah, that's probably not great," he admitted, shooting me a smirk. "I wish I had advice for you," he said. "But I don't know shit about parenting."

"Yeah, no one does," I said, sighing. "We all just do it on the fly, I think. I'm starting to worry I'm fucking it all up."

"I dunno. Just sounds like she got her wild genes from you and her old man."

"Yeah, but I was never involved in a shootout," I said.

"Could you have been?" he asked.

Thousands of memories rushed back. Hanging out with drug dealers. Partying at random people's houses. Sneaking into clubs, venues, colleges.

Any number of awful things could have happened.

"It's supposed to be different with Daphne."

"Why?"

"Because she has a parent who gives a shit. Because having me there for her should have meant that she turned out better than I did when I had no one."

"Was your rebellion about your shitty parents?" Callow asked.

"I mean… no. At least not in any sort of conscious way. I was just… looking for fun."

"Maybe that's all there is to it for Daphne too. She seemed to say that was why she doesn't want to hang out with that old friend of hers."

"Allie," I said, my heart still aching for the fracture in their friendship.

"Yeah. She said she was boring."

That was unkind. Even if it was true to her.

"I don't think I would worry as much if she was, you know, chasing after age-appropriate guys. I think that's, you know, par for the course. I hate to say it but I don't think girls learn not to chase until they've been burned a time or two."

"That other friend of hers probably isn't helping."

"You have no idea," I said. Catching his interest, I sighed. "She's doing adult content for a living. And while I'm totally okay with her doing what she wants with her own body…"

"You don't want your underaged kid around that."

"Exactly."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. It was Callow who broke it. "Ever think of getting her into some sort of hobby?" he asked.

"She did dance when she was little. But, ah, is there a nice way to say someone doesn't have any rhythm?" I asked, wincing.

"What about something that teaches some discipline?"

I mean, had the guy ever seen a ballerina? Their entire lives revolved on discipline.

"You mean like karate?"

"Yeah. Some sort of martial arts anyway. Some of the club old ladies run a martial arts gym. Have all sorts of classes."

"It wouldn't be a horrible thing for her to have somewhere to go for the time between when school ends and I get home."

"I know these women, too. They're good influences. They kinda mix life advice and shit in with the physical exercise. Might help Daphne, you know, shift her mindset about shit."

"That would be nice if it works with our schedule. You know, if she will even go."

"You might have to make her go the first time, but I think she will really like it after that."

"Definitely preferable to her hanging out with Tammy," I agreed.

With all the facts laid out and a possible plan to keep Daphne busy after school, all of the adrenaline that had been keeping me at least halfway sane fell away, leaving nothing but the raw emotions underneath making their way back to the surface.

It happened too quickly for me to fight it back.

And as I sat there with a man still bleeding from a gunshot wound he'd gotten by protecting my daughter, a man who was absolutely ridiculously good-looking, an embarrassing as hell sob escaped me as I folded forward, burying my head in my hands.

The thing when you were busy as hell was… there was no time for emotions. I had to work, parent, cook, clean, plan, and try to occasionally take care of my body by getting some exercise in.

There wasn't a spare minute in the day to let the frustration, anger, sadness, and overwhelm completely wash through me.

But when you put off a crying session for too long, occasionally it came out of nowhere, pulling you under the waves, leaving you helpless but to let it keep crashing.

"Hey…" Callow said, voice surprisingly soft. "Hey, it's gonna be alright," he said, his hand going to press into the center of my back.

Which only made the dam burst fully open.

This wasn't a dainty cry.

It was a loud, snotty, sobbing cry that shook my whole body and released dying animal type noises out of me.

"Okay, alright," Callow said.

Then his arms were reaching for me, pulling me until my legs were over his lap, and my head was against his chest.

I turned my face into his chest, breathing in his crisp, spicy scent as his arms went around me.

It had been so long since I felt a man's arms around me. The comfort of it, the security of it, only made me cry harder.

Callow, the poor soul, didn't try to say anything. He just held onto me as I purged all of the feelings I'd been dragging along with me for far too long.

When the tears finally stopped pouring and I managed to catch my breath, the embarrassment had me starting to pull away.

Only for something in the corner of my eye to catch my attention.

And there was my daughter.

Watching me.

Looking horrified.

"Hey," Cali said, coming up behind Daphne. "Let's give your mom a couple more minutes, okay?" she asked, reaching to steer Daphne away as she looked at me, eyes wide.

"Great," I said, wiping hard at my cheeks as I sniffled.

"Maybe it's good," Callow said.

"What?" I asked, not able to look at him after that little breakdown.

"That she sees her actions have impact," he said, shrugging.

"Maybe," I agreed.

I'd always tried to be stoic for Daphne. I think it was a way of overcompensating since she would have no one else to go to if I was emotionally fragile. There was no one coming to entertain her while I broke down. So I just… kept it together.

Even when we were days away from being evicted. Even when the lights got cut off or I was trying to make twenty dollars feed us for a week. Even when I was sick, exhausted, anxious, depressed. I had to be that stable person for my kid.

So aside from the occasional time when I was physically hurt—like when I'd broken my wrist or sliced off the tip of my finger—I didn't let myself cry in front of her.

I thought it was for the best.

But maybe Callow was right. Maybe she needed to see that her actions had both physical and emotional consequences for others aside from her.

Callow's bullet wound from saving her.

My tears of just absolute overwhelm.

"Things are gonna be alright, Sabrina," Callow said, voice like a soothing balm over sore wounds.

"I know," I agreed, glancing over at him. "I will figure this out," I added, climbing off of the table as my resolve came back little by little. "Thank you for saving my girl. And for calling me. And… everything," I said, feeling like I needed to put some distance between us. Because every fiber of my being wanted to run back into his arms.

"Babe," Callow called, making me turn back, finding him watching me with those gorgeous blue eyes.

"Yeah?"

He paused, like he didn't know what he was going to say. Then settled on, "If you need anything…"

"Thank you," I said, feeling teary-eyed again.

I had to blink away the tears as I moved back into the clubhouse, surprised by just how unexpectedly good it felt to have someone offer me help.

"Mom?" Daphne called, voice small, almost like a girl several years younger, as she looked at me.

"We should get going," I told her. "These guys have… a lot going on," I added, hearing the rumble of men's voices in the common room. "Thanks for hanging with her, Cali," I said, forcing a small smile.

"Yeah… thanks," Daphne said as she rushed to follow me out of the room.

I said nothing to the other men as I led Daphne out of the building and to our car.

I could feel her gaze on me as we got in and pulled out of the lot, but I didn't quite trust myself to say anything just yet.

In the end, it was Daphne who couldn't take the silence as we walked into our apartment.

"Mom?" she called behind me, her voice quivering. I turned back to find her eyes welling up. "I'm sorry," she said, voice cracking.

Her head fell as the tears started to slide down her cheeks.

Maybe Callow was right.

She needed to see me break down in order for her to be able to open up to me as well.

I walked back over, wrapping my arms around my kid in a way she hadn't let me for almost a year.

As we stood there, I was sure that things had finally taken a turn.

There was no way I could have known what chain of events had been put into motion that afternoon. And how my daughter and I were going to find ourselves wrapped up in some sort of street war between criminal organizations.