Chapter Four

"DOES IT EVER STOP HURTING?" I asked, my voice rough like sandpaper after crying myself hoarse.

Rune, looking human for the first time since getting here, sat against the headboard of our new bed—which thankfully had new bedding now—and I sat in his arms with my back pressed to his chest. My head was nestled in the crook of his neck, and he held his hand out for me while I traced messy lines and shapes into the palm of his hand.

"No," he finally answered. "It never goes away, but you learn to live with it. You learn to exist with that grief still tucked away inside you."

"I feel like I've lost them all over again. For a minute, they became real. They had faces and names, and they held me. But then it was like they died right there in that room in the same instant."

Tears threatened to break free again, but it seemed I'd already cried all I could for the time being. So instead of releasing my pain through sobs, I continued to trace lines into Rune's palm.

"Is it wrong of me to be this heartbroken over them being gone?" I whispered.

Rune tensed, and he pulled back enough to look down at me with a furrowed brow. "Why would it be wrong of you to grieve your parents?"

I shrugged, and guilt pricked its needle-like claws into my chest. "I never knew them. I feel like I have no right to be upset over their passing. Not like you, who actually lost someone you grew up with and had all your life."

"Bria," Rune snapped, his voice echoing off the walls like thunder. He forced me to sit up and turn around to face him. He cupped my cheeks, and his eyes held mine in a firm stare. "You're allowed to feel hurt over your parents being dead. You're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to be angry, scream, and cry until you can't anymore. Your pain is just as real as mine. It's just as valid as mine. Don't ever feel like it's not."

I soaked in his words, urging myself to believe them. He sounded so sure. So confident. I wanted to feel that self-assured in all matters.

My life had changed considerably in the recent months. The naīve, weak girl from the past, who only cared about spending time with her best friend and making it big as a professional painter, was gone. Instead, I had to be Princess to an entire Water Fae Kingdom, and it was my job to lead them to peace after being at war with Land Fae for a century. I couldn't afford to be weak or second-guessing myself. I couldn't afford to be unsure. I had to remain as confident and resilient about my decisions, as Rune was now.

I was sure that's what my parents, Alesta and Khal, would've wanted, too. They wouldn't want me falling apart over their long-ago passing. They'd want me going out there and achieving what I'd set out to do.

But like Dallas said, all of that hard stuff could come tomorrow. Tonight was for me and Rune, the man who'd cradled me and provided support when I'd needed it most. The man who looked at me as though I was the one who made the world spin round. The man I loved with every ounce of breath in me.

Smiling softly at him, I leaned in and pressed our foreheads together. "I love you."

"I love you. With everything I have and more. Forever."

"Forever," I nodded. "Forever with you."

I slanted my head to lightly press a kiss to his lips, but as soon as mine touched his, I realized a simple peck wasn't enough. I slipped my tongue along the seam of his lips only enough to get a small taste of him, but with the graze of my tongue came a deep groan from the back of his throat. The sound sent heat zipping straight to my core, and the sudden burn spurred me to kiss him more deeply, pulling sounds from inside of him.

"You're making it hard to be a gentleman right now," Rune growled, sliding his hands from my cheeks and into my hair.

"Then don't be."

I loved this. I loved the way I made him crazy with desire. I loved the way one kiss from me had him teetering on the edge of losing control. This was one area of my life that I knew I'd never have to doubt, and when all other parts of my life felt like they were spiraling out of control, this was one in which I'd still know where I stood.

With him, I felt powerful, daring, and bold. Like a queen.

I pulled out of his grip to squat against my heels. My gaze stayed locked on his hooded eyes as I peeled my shirt off slowly, prolonging his torture of wanting to see me bare. His fingers curled into tight fists against his thighs, and his cock bulged in his sweatpants. I took my time, reaching behind me to unclasp my bra, and I didn't miss the heavy rise and fall of his chest while he watched my breasts come into view.

I could tell by the tightening of his jaw and the rigid pull of his shoulders that all he wanted was to reach forward and pound into me with unhindered passion, but he was holding back. I wasn't sure if he could tell from the look in my eyes or if it was because he knew how unsure I was of our future from here on out, but he somehow seemed to sense that I needed this right now. I needed to be the one in control. He needed to be at my mercy with me leading the way.

Even if his entire body begged to fuck me into oblivion.

After peeling off my clothes, I crawled back to him, gripping his shirt in my hands. As I yanked it off him, I pressed my chest to his and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I want to ride you."

"Fuck," he groaned, sinking further into the mattress.

I tugged his sweatpants down his muscular thighs, and his dick stood thick and proud as soon as it was freed. Pearlescent beads formed at the tip, and my tongue flicked out to catch the moisture there. Rune bit his lip and dug his hands into the pillows on either side of his head. He growled, low and deep like a predator about to pounce. I wasn't sure if he realized he was doing it, or if it was just his inner fox about to come out.

I kissed a trail back up his body, dipping low to suck and bite teasingly at his neck. I was so slick and hot at my center, and if I didn't have him inside me soon, I was liable to die right then and there. Placing my hands on his chest, I seated his dick at my entrance, and just to remind him that I was in control right now, I sank onto it slowly .

He hissed and leaned his head back as I felt the tip of him sliding into me. The urge to drive down all the way was hard to ignore. All I wanted was to have him deep inside me, but I held back, gasping from the delicious pleasure as I took him inch by inch.

The tether keeping Rune human snapped, and he let out a guttural gasp as a flame burst from his hand and circled his body, pulling his fox features forward. Fox ears, his tail, sharp canines, and claws decorated him. Seeing him like this—ripping the pillowcase on either side of his head as his claws shredded them in his attempt to hold back, a prick of blood trailing down his chin where his canines bit into his lip, and his smoldering golden eyes staring at me with pure want—nearly had me cumming right there on the spot.

My own restraint fizzled like a rope that had been suspended over a candle for one too many seconds. I ground down the rest of the way, moaning at finally being so full.

"Fuck, Bria," Rune gasped, watching me rise up a fraction only to sink back onto him. His eyes glazed over, and stuffing burst from the pillows as he tore through all that was left to hold onto.

I grabbed at his hands and placed them on my hips as I continued to grind against him. My movements became frantic as I angled myself just right so that his head hit me deep and hard, and his pelvis rubbed against my aching clit. "Touch me. Please."

"Where?" Rune challenged.

"Anywhere," I moaned. Heat spiraled at my core, throbbing with so much want for him. "Everywhere."

One hand trailed up the curve of my stomach to cup my breast, while the other moved to caress me between my thighs. Rune's finger curled and rubbed against my clit—taking care to watch the claws—with every up and down movement of my hips while his other pinched and pulled at my nipple. My folds filled with intense, wet heat, and electricity sparked to life within my limbs.

"Yes!" I cried as his finger brought me closer to the stars, and his dick drove me higher to the heavens. "Oh God, there. Right … there!"

I came undone with a loud, contented groan. As I rode out the shock waves of my intense orgasm, Rune gripped my hips firmly and pumped into me hard and fast until he followed me. Together, we fell into the star-littered oblivion that always followed pleasing each other. And that was where I planned to stay until morning came, because once the sun rose, that meant the start of a long, uncertain journey of bringing peace among Fae.