Chapter Thirty-Eight

I WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE as I shed my travel clothes and stepped into the shower in the bathroom I shared with Rune. The warm water beat into my skin, but not even that seemed to soothe me at the moment. Emotion built inside of me, ugly and heavy, but it clung to my mind, refusing to break through the surface.

My world was crumbling.

People were turning against me.

Marcus was dead.

War was on the horizon.

And I somehow had to tell all my people this. I had to confess that I'd failed to convince Elias to end things peacefully. I had to look Rune in the eye, knowing I'd failed to prevent a fight where he'd have to face his mother. Everything felt broken, hopeless, and ruined.

A warm hand found the small of my back and coasted up to my shoulder. Rune kissed the top of my head and whispered, "It's okay to cry."

His words smashed like a wrecking ball against the dam holding everything inside me. My eyes squeezed shut, and I buried my face in my hands as tears rolled down my cheeks. Sobs filled the bathroom, and tears got lost among the drops of water that cascaded toward the drain. Rune turned me around to face him and pulled me into his arms where he held me tightly.

"I'm so sorry," I croaked. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't stop this war. I've failed you. I've failed everyone."

"You haven't failed, Bria." Rune pulled back to look at me and ran his thumbs under my eyes to catch the falling tears. "We can still win. We can come out of this victorious and with some sort of resolution. Just because we have to fight for it doesn't mean you've lost what you set out to do."

I shook my head, sure that he was wrong. "I told everyone I'd stop the war. I promised I'd end this, but I'm about to lead them right into it."

"You are ending it. This will be it. The final battle, the final push to the end we've been working for. Peace. Just because there's still a fight to be had doesn't mean you broke your promise. This is just the way to get there."

"But—" I stopped and worked to swallow. "But Elias made his terms clear on how the battle has to end. Him or—"

"Don't," Rune growled. He gripped my chin and forced me to hold his gaze. "It won't be you. That I can fucking promise."

I gripped his wrists. "I can't kill, Rune. I can't take a life like that."

"Bria—"

"And now we have this Nightbloom threat. Something that will make it far easier for Land Fae to kill us. Everything is just … it's all—"

"Shh," Rune said, pulling me forward again. He kissed my forehead tenderly and ran his hands down my arms. "We can do this. You can do this. We still have time to train and prepare."

Prepare.

We needed a lot of that. The first thing I needed to prepare for was telling all my people that they'd have to fight one last time. Risk losing loved ones a final time. And all for a cause that I wasn't sure they truly wanted or believed in.

Sniffling, I averted my eyes. "You'll have to face your mom now."

Rune sighed, and when I looked at him again, resolve had hardened his features. "I've been coming to terms with the fact that she's not my mother anymore. After everything that happened while we stayed with her and everything she said that day we met with Elias, I realize that my mother is already dead inside. If I have to face her, I think there will be some comfort in the idea that I'm finally setting her free, ending her pain and sending her where she really wants to be. With my dad."

My chest constricted, because while Rune seemed sure about his decision, it shouldn't be a decision he had to make. No son should have to face his murderous mother and "come to terms with" potentially killing her.

"Hey," Rune said, making me look at him. "I can see all the worries swarming those pretty blue eyes. You're thinking about everything that can go wrong."

"More like all the things that have already gone wrong."

"Try to think past that. Past the war. Past the troubles. Think about what Ambrolia will look like once we've done it. Think about how amazing the world will be when all Fae live alongside each other."

"It's hard to—"

Rune placed a finger over my lips, and I instantly quieted. The pad of his forefinger lightly traced the seam of my mouth. "Try."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I focused on the feel of Rune's finger as it traveled across my jaw and down my throat. The flutter that sprang to life in my gut as his digit roamed along my cleavage made it harder to focus on the task he'd given me, but it also brought a momentary respite from the chaos in my head.

"What does your Ambrolia look like, my Queen?" he asked softly, his touch coasting over my stomach and moving lower.

I kept my eyes closed as I thought about it. "It … It's bright and happy. Fae of every kind fill Morardia and the mainland as neighbors and friends."

"What else?" His finger slid into the crease between my legs, rubbing and teasing over my clit. "Think harder and deeper." He punctuated his word by sliding a finger inside of me.

Groaning, I let my head fall back as he added another finger and pushed them in and out at an agonizingly teasing pace. It was just enough to give me a taste of potential pleasure, a sliver of what he could give if he just moved them a little faster and a little harder. It was like he wanted to give me enough to have me wet and panting but not enough so that I couldn't focus on what we were discussing.

"Fae … Fae don't have to be afraid," I gasped. I gripped his biceps in an effort to hold onto something tangible as he tried to coax me to heavenly places. "Fae don't have to worry about their loved ones dying or their homes being invaded. They can exist freely. Peacefully."

He curled his fingers inside of me, hitting me in just the right place so that I moaned into the steamy air of the bathroom. He caught the end of the sound in a hungry kiss, sliding his tongue across my own.

"In your world, I'm allowed to do this," Rune growled, kissing me deeply once more. "And this." He reached up to squeeze my breast and pinch the puckered tip. "I, a Fox Fae, am allowed to love and be with you, a Water Fae, and it's as okay as two Fox Fae or two Water Fae being together."

Nodding, I said, "You and me, Jesiah and Akira, Avana and Imani."

"Ardley and Khalani," Rune tossed out, leaning down to nibble on my ear.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back to give him access to pepper kisses on my neck. "You think they'll actually be together? I still can't tell what Khalani thinks of him."

"Only time will tell, but I think so. I think there will be a lot of Fae who feel comfortable and free enough to try, if that's what they want. Fae will see and believe that love between our kinds is possible and shouldn't be feared if they want someone different than their own kind."

"They won't have to be afraid anymore," I continued. "Of love. Of friendships. Of existing ." I swallowed hard and added, "Of being killed."

Rune pulled back to look down at me, and as if sensing the shift in my thoughts, he withdrew his fingers and placed them on my hips. Understanding filled his eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see Marcus like that."

My lip quivered, and I shook my head as I dropped my forehead onto Rune's chest. "He didn't deserve that. And I'm sure his won't be the last death I'll see. Not with war coming. Not with Nightbloom being available to Land Fae."

"Don't do that to yourself. Don't put the weight of that on your shoulders. Some may die. We know that. But think about how many lives will be saved once this is over. How many people will be able to start families and build homes here. If Elias had his way, all of Morardia and our supporters would be wiped out."

He still could have it his way. We both knew this, but for now, I let it go. I was too tired and drained to discuss it anymore, especially since I was about to go over it with the army heads and the Council of Doctrina. I needed a distraction, a temporary relief from the bitter turmoil clouding my brain. Too many things were happening that were out of my control. For a moment, I needed that power. I needed to feel like I had some semblance of control.

I pulled back from Rune and took a few steps away from him. He stared at me and stayed where he was under the spray of the faucet. The water ran in rivulets down his tanned body, and his hair was slicked back around his fox ears and clinging to his skin.

Quirking a brow at me, he asked, "What?"

Without a word, I raised my hands on either side of me, and at the same time, the water around us moved, twirling in the air around Rune. I clenched my fists, and the water snapped toward Rune. It wrapped around his arms like ropes made of water. With a flick of my hands, the water tightened, yanked his arms behind him, and pulled him back against the shower wall. More water crept across his chest and arms, stitching together and hardening until a thick layer of ice held him pinned in place.

Smirking, I zeroed in on his twitching and quickly hardening cock. I always loved seeing his reactions toward me. Seeing how I affected him, seeing how he wanted me, was the sweetest drug, and I wanted to push that desire to its limits.

And I knew just how to do it.

Meeting his lustful gaze, I tipped my chin higher. The water that continued to rain down began to take shape behind me, following the blueprint in my mind, until a throne made of ice stood at my back. I sank down on the seat, paying attention to how his eyes followed me. They traced my round breasts and down the curves of my stomach to my legs, which I spread open and draped over each arm of the chair.

"I'm going to touch myself, and you're going to stand there and watch."

"Bria," Rune growled in warning, his eyes dipping to my wet, spread lips. He inhaled sharply, and his dick thickened.

"You're not allowed to touch me or yourself. Only watch."

I slid my hand over my breast and down my stomach, following the same trail his gaze had made. When my fingers first grazed the sensitive, throbbing bundle between my legs, his nostrils flared, and he jerked against the ice, which began to crack.

Rune chuckled and met my gaze again with a certain predatory heat. "You know I could just melt this ice and break free, right?"

"I know," I said, leaning my head back against the throne. My eyes fluttered as sweet, sweet tingles erupted below my fingertips. Forcing myself to hold his gaze while my hand continued slow, teasing touches, I finished, "But you won't. Because I need this right now. I need the control over what happens in here."

His jaw tightened as he bit back his disagreement, but he reluctantly straightened in silent agreement and watched as I swept my fingers over my soaked pussy. His cock twitched, and a pearlescent bead formed on the tip of his head as I let out a small sigh.

It felt good as my fingers circled and rubbed right over my clit, but the feeling couldn't hold a candle to all the delicious sensations Rune created when he tasted, touched, and fucked me. That was okay, though. This was about putting on a show, drawing out the animal inside of him, getting him so hot that he nearly burst.

I continued my teasing of both myself and Rune, curling my finger over my heat and opening my legs wider for his view.

"Fuck," he hissed, his hips trying to push off the wall behind him.

The ice cracked more, and the sound seemed to remind him that he wasn't allowed to take control right now. He leaned his head against the tile, and his breath came out hard and fast as he watched me rub myself to the point where my toes curled and my nipples hardened.

"Bria," Rune panted, his voice husky and full of so much want. "Holy fuck, I love watching your pretty little pussy weep around your fingers. Tell me how good it feels."

I moaned, and my finger moved over myself quicker, seeking that electrifying release. "It feels … amazing."

He pulled against his restraints again as I palmed my breast with my free hand. My hips bucked with both my nipple and clit being played with, and Rune's canines gritted as steam started to rise around the ice barricade. Orange flared out beneath the white ice, and the Fox didn't even seem to notice that he was slowly burning away his prison. He was too focused on my dripping core, watching as I threw my head back and cried into the steam-filled shower as my orgasm spilled down my crease, scenting the room with my arousal.

Breathless and ready for my predator, I grinned. I didn't even have to speak. All it took was my hooded eyes meeting his with a silent green light, and the next seconds became a blur. Ice shattered, and a furl of heat rippled across the small space. One second, I was seated on the ice throne, and the next, I was being shoved back and slammed into the shower wall, the shattered throne melting down the drain.

The toe-curling stretching that came with Rune's dick shoving into me swept through my limbs, and I dug my nails into his shoulders as he filled me up. His palms held the underside of my thighs as he pumped in and out of me with such hunger that I felt him reaching spots that made me see stars and cry out his name. His lips crushed mine, and his tongue swept inside. I kissed him back and pulled him into me, urging his thrusts by digging my heels into his backside.

"Your pussy squeezes me so tight," Rune whispered as his tongue collided with mine again.

"Right there, Rune," I gasped, feeling my skin come alive as he ground himself deeper inside me and pressed into places that made me dizzy with ecstasy. "Oh God, yes, please!"

He groaned, and one hand left my thigh to smack my ass hard. The burn mixed with the pleasure pumping into me had the sparks of my release bursting until all I could do was let out a guttural moan. With a few more pumps of his hips, Rune followed, spilling himself inside of me.

The two of us worked to catch our breaths under the spew of the water. He pressed his forehead to mine, and we just held each other—his dick still buried inside me and my back to the wall—until our heartbeats evened out.

Finally, we looked at each other, and no words were needed to know what the other was thinking.

The momentary distraction was over.

It was time to face our people and deliver the hard news.