Chapter Seven

Flora

H eaving a satisfied sigh, I laid in Marius's arms, his chest hairs tickling my bare breasts. The room was bathed in the soft glow of flickering candlelight as a shaft of moonlight cut through the billowing curtains. Though our lovemaking had been brief, for my poor, dear mate had tired quickly, he'd been so tender and loving, making sure I found release before taking pleasure for himself. Marius had always been a generous lover. Then Derrick had taken me in his arms, his stamina so much more than his brother's, and I'd found release two more times before succumbing to fatigue. I hadn't slept so hard in ages. Perhaps it was because I no longer had to worry about being discovered by my murderous sister. Perhaps it was because we were in a warm, cozy room with thick carpets and a big bed, not a drafty cabin with dark sounds echoing around us. Now we were tucked away in the silky sheets of our comfortable bed, no feathers poking through the stitching, no bedbugs nibbling our toes. Derrick sat up beside me, drinking a goblet of juice while scattering crumbs on the sheets from a raspberry pastry. I suddenly remembered Derrick had a sweet tooth. We always had fresh juice and pastries at Elisi to satisfy his cravings. We had wanted for nothing then, save for children, so happy were we on my mates' estate, cut off from the rest of the world.

But then everything changed. One moment we were preparing the nursery for the welcome addition of our twin girls. The next, we were running for our lives while Delfi burned. And then we ended up in a moldy cabin in a dark and frightening forest. Forget about juice and pastries. My mate, daughters, and I were lucky to have enough porridge to last the winter.

All because Thorin, the evil mage I'd once thought of as my friend, was in reality a vindictive demon, and Malvolia, my twin and best friend, had succumbed to Thorin's tricks and her own paranoia. Derrick and Marius were my only friends now. I trusted no one else, except our girls, though I doubted they trusted me, and I honestly couldn't blame them.

I snuggled against Marius while he gently stroked my shoulder and arm, feeling selfish for enjoying his tender touch when it was he who needed soothing after suffering so long as my sister's prisoner.

Tell me about our daughters and grandchildren, he asked through thought, his voice echoing in my skull so that I knew Derrick had heard his question, too.

A knot formed in my chest. It hurt to think of them, much less speak of them, not just because I missed them so, but we wronged them in so many ways, starting with giving Tari to Thorin. And then there was the way we'd mistrusted Shiri for most of her life.

I swallowed back my sorrow while catching Derrick's gaze. There was no mistaking the shame reflecting in his eyes. I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest. "What do you wish to know?" I asked Marius aloud.

He sat up behind me, pulling back my hair while placing the tenderest of kisses on my shoulder. "Everything."

I arched away from him, feeling undeserving of his gentle touch. Tari was a green witch with the kindest soul, but now her powers are far stronger, I answered through thought, my throat too tight to speak aloud as shame washed over me. Our poor Tari. We'd taken her from her children and given her to a monster. She mated with Prince Helian and his half brothers.

And our grandchildren? he asked, unaware of the turmoil within my heart, for he'd no idea how much it hurt to speak of them.

I heaved a weary sigh, knowing it was selfish of me to not talk about them when Marius had missed so many wonderful milestones from both our children and grandchildren.

Derrick cleared his throat, answering, Precocious, mischievous, exhausting, but so, so precious.

They have strong magic? Marius pressed.

They're just coming into their powers, I answered, unable to say more when I realized how much I missed my granddaughters. I hugged my knees tighter, staring at the gossamer curtains that billowed in the breeze above the open doors that lead to the balcony where we'd first discovered Marius. I imagined the fabric from just one of those curtains could've afforded my poor family enough porridge to have lasted all winter. But that was in our past. We were no longer poor and destitute refugees. We were royalty, and I would claw my sister's eyes out before she ever forced us into hiding again.

Aurora can teleport, and Ember can see spirits, Derrick finally answered.

I turned my head, looking into Derrick's eyes that glistened with unshed tears. His heart ached to speak of them, too. I reached for his hand and squeezed, saying nothing while he laced his fingers through mine. We didn't need to speak. Our heartache, our sins, our shame, was written in our eyes and the turn of our mouths.

And what about Shirina? Marius pressed.

A sharp blade replaced that dull ache in my chest. Shiri. Dear, sweet Shiri, who'd loved her family and her nieces above all else and was rewarded with wary looks and mistrust. Oh, the shame of it made me want to hurl myself over the tallest castle turret.

She has the siren's call, Derrick answered, his voice sounding strained.

The room went silent, the distant sound of violent ocean waves filling the void, echoing the tempest in my heart.

What is wrong, you two? Marius finally asked.

I hung my head with a groan. What would Marius do when he found out how we'd treated our children? Would he turn away from us? Would he loathe us as much as I despised Malvolia?

I squeezed Derrick's hand while wiping the moisture from my eyes with my free hand. "We're ashamed," I finally answered aloud, my voice constricting.

Another long pause. "Why?" Marius whispered.

Derrick looked over his shoulder at his brother. "Because Flora and I have wronged her."

Loathe though I was to face him, I released Derrick's hand and turned toward Marius, flames of shame fanning my cheeks.

Marius gaped at us. "How?"

I dragged a hand down my face with a groan. "We were convinced she'd turn evil."

Marius arched a brow. "What made you think that?"

I scratched my head, sharing a confused look with Derrick. I wasn't reassured when he answered with a shrug. "We believed one Avias twin was good and the other evil."

Marius's jaw dropped. You were tricked by Thorin.

Derrick's shoulders fell as he slowly nodded. It appears so.

Marius looked from Derrick to me. Did you try to harm Shirina?

"No," I blurted aloud, heat flooding my chest that he would even think we'd try to harm her. "We would never harm our child." At least, not intentionally, I wanted to add but thought better of it. We'd already unintentionally harmed both our daughters.

"Then what did you do?" Marius asked aloud.

I prayed that wasn't censure I heard in his voice. My chest tightened and my heart ached when Derrick gave me a hopeful look. "We didn't love her enough," I finally answered, working hard to push out the words. "We tried not to make it obvious, but she could tell."

He leaned forward, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "From what little I've seen of her, she has a pure heart."

"She does." I nodded before swiping moisture from my eyes. "She's loved Ember and Aurora as if they were her own."

"But you didn't drive her away as Malvolia did to you." Marius's question sounded more like a statement. Was he trying to comfort us?

"We could never." I shook my head as more tears fell. "She's our child."

He squeezed my hand again, the love in his voice reflecting in his eyes. "Then there's still hope you can reconcile."

My gaze shot to Derrick, my heart plummeting when he looked down at his legs while wiping his eyes. I knew what he was thinking without probing his thoughts. We were horrible parents and didn't deserve Marius's understanding, especially after what we'd done to Tari, too. "I won't blame her if she never forgives us," I said on a strained whisper.

I loathed the look of pity in Marius's eyes and almost wished he'd berate us for being terrible parents, but then we jumped at a knock coming from the sitting room.

"I hope that's the servants with supper." Marius settled a hand on his concaved stomach. "I'm famished."

He threw a pillow over his crotch and Derrick slipped into a robe when a knock sounded on our bedchamber.

I pulled a blanket over my breasts just as the door was thrown open and a flutter of skirts and thick, cloying perfume filled the room. I stared at what I presumed to be two Fae women of Malvolia's court, wondering if they were real or illusions. They each had tall beehive wigs, wide silk hoop gowns, and thick face paints that made them look like clowns. One was dressed mostly in silver, with the exception of a thick yoke made up of black feathers, and the other wore a deep, emerald green. Even her wig was green, making her look like a bedazzled pine.

"Who are you?" I blurted, annoyed by their interruption.

The courtesan with the black, feathered yoke gave me a curious look before the corners of her mouth hitched up in a sultry smile. "I'm Lady Veronica and this is Lady Daminica." She nodded toward her friend, the pine. "We're here to ready you for court, Your Highness."

"Court?" I snorted aloud, not caring one bit if I sounded unladylike. "We're not going to court." I shooed them away as if they were nothing more than flies buzzing about our heads.

Lady Veronica's face fell before she plastered on a smile. "But Queen Malvolia has requested your presence."

I climbed out of bed and crossed over to Lady Daminica, snatching a robe from her outstretched hand. "My sister can stuff that request up her ass."

Flora. Marius's reprimand echoed in my skull.

I shoved my arms into the robe. What?

He scowled at me from across the room as if he was about to lecture a naughty toddler. We must work with her if we're to defeat these demons.

I turned up my nose, leering at the intrusive women from beneath my lashes. Our daughters will defeat the demons, I answered Marius.

Our daughters will need all the help they can get, including your sister's army. Please, darling. He sat up, wrapping a sheet around his waist . For our daughters.

I heaved a weary groan as Daminica returned from the dressing room with a powder blue beehive wig. "Very well." I shooed Daminica away. "I'm not wearing that blasted wig, and you're not painting me like a clown."

I turned my scowl on Lady Veronica as she giggled behind her hand while batting lashes weighed down with thick paints. It looked like hairy spiders had died on her eyelids. I jutted a hand on my hip. "You think it's funny?"

"I'm sorry, Your Highness." She pulled back her hand while flashing a knowing smile. "It's just that Shiri said the same thing."

"You know our Shirina?" Derrick blurted while striding toward Lady Veronica.

The bitch had the nerve to bat her spider lashes at my mate while splaying a hand across the feathers on her chest. It suddenly occurred to me that those feathers had come from Ravini males. No doubt, they were tokens from her conquests. Well, I knew two males whose feathers she'd never collect.

"I do." A youthful blush shone beneath her thick, white face paints. "I consider her a dear friend."

I protruded my chest, my top lip curled back in a snarl. "Funny," I taunted, "she never mentioned you."

"The queen would've killed Princess Shirina if not for Lady Veronica," Lady Daminica said. "She is a powerful seer and convinced the queen to spare your daughter."

I cut Lady Daminica a glare. Did these two think they could work together to intimidate me? "Malvolia wouldn't have survived a battle with my daughter," I said haughtily.

Daminica shook her head. "They've already battled in practice. Had Malvolia wanted, she could've snapped Shiri's neck."

I clutched my throat in horror, my stomach roiling at the thought that Shirina had been so close to death. What sickened me more was that had Malvolia succeeded in killing her, my child would've died thinking her parents loathed her.

"The queen might not be a white witch, but her black magic is still very powerful," Daminica added, "and she has far more experience than the princess, especially when it comes to killing."

Veronica folded her hands in front of her, her eyes clouding with distant memories. "A wise sage once said a witch's greatest folly is underestimating her enemy."

"Which sage said that?" I asked.

Veronica leered at me. "She hasn't been born yet."

Tari

MY LEGS FELT EVEN HEAVIER by the time I returned to our bedchamber. I checked on the rabbits and then went to Finn, who was waiting in bed for me. He held me in his arms and gently rubbed my back while I waited for the fuzzy feeling in my head to subside, but it didn't. I had this strange feeling like I was living in a dream or I'd smoked the herbs that grew deep in the forest. And though I had a heaviness in my body and a weariness in my soul, I couldn't sleep. How could I when I had so much weighing on my shoulders, from the sacrifice Enso would need to make on the morrow to the tension between Ash, Helian, and me to the inevitable battle we would face against a powerful demon and whatever army she possessed? And if my sister and I failed, the world would fall, including my daughters and unborn son.

"Where's Ash?" I finally mumbled, my voice sounding slightly slurred.

Finn continued to rub my back while pressing kisses against my temple. "He said he needed some air."

Odd, I hadn't seen him leave. Then again, my sister and I had been preoccupied with telling each other stories in a quiet nook on the other side of the great hall.

A groan tore through me as I sat up. Ash was avoiding me, and I refused to go to bed with this tension between us.

Ignoring the throbbing in my head, I shrugged into the golden robe I'd worn at supper. Then I waited for a wave of dizziness to subside.

"Sweetheart," Finn pleaded, "come back to bed."

"I can't," I answered. "I need to find Ash."

He threw off the patchwork blanket and climbed off the bed. "I'll come with you."

I wouldn't fight him on it, for ashamed as I was to admit, I would need to lean on him until my world stopped tipping. He grabbed a lantern off a nearby table and took my hand, then pushed open the drape covering our door and led me through our suite of rooms to the outside. I tensed, tugging on his hand when the girls' giggles echoed from inside Shiri's room.

They're having fun, I said to him through thought.

He waggled his brows. Didn't your sister take them so we could have some time alone?

I averted my gaze, sorrow twisting a knot in my chest. Not without your brother.

He gave me a funny look . Which one?

Ash, I answered, bothered that he'd even ask.

We emerged into that narrow slate tunnel that led to our rooms. A musty breeze blew through the dark hall, lightly ruffling my hair. I looked in both directions. A pinprick of light could be seen at one end of the tunnel, and I knew that was the way to the cavern where we'd dined. The other way was dark, reminding me of the entrance to a fathomless pit. I got a strange feeling while I stared into the blackness, almost as if my destiny was somehow waiting there.

Finn's nostrils flared as he scented the air for Ash, and I couldn't help but still be bothered by his question. I hadn't even mentioned Helian since I'd climbed into bed with Finn. Why would he think I was waiting for Helian?

I stopped an older satyr woman as she passed by carrying a basket of soiled linens. "I beg your pardon. Have you seen my mate?"

She pulled down her hood, pointing to the other end of the long, dark hall. "He's down there."

Finn frowned after she walked off. "I think this is the wrong way."

I pulled him down the hall. "She said he was down here," I said, irritation lacing my words. Why had he asked which brother? As if I'd choose Helian over Ash?

Finn stopped me, tugging on my hand. "I think she might have meant Helian." He turned up his nose, sniffing the air. "I smell him nearby."

My heart did a backflip. "He-he's down here?" I rasped. Oh, goddess. Did I want to see him? Then again, how could I pass up this chance? I had questions, and I deserved answers.

He nodded toward the end of the tunnel. "His scent leads that way."

"Should we check on him?" I asked, anticipation and dread coursing through my veins.

He frowned, squeezing my hand. "We should return to bed."

"No." I pulled away. "I want to speak to him."

"Ash won't be happy." The look he gave me made me want to sink into the shadows behind us and never come out. Why did Ash and Finn shame me whenever I mentioned Helian? He was my mate, too.

I turned up my chin, summoning a courage I didn't feel. "Ash doesn't rule me, Finn."

His face fell, and then he handed me the lantern. "You go ahead. I'll stay here."

I swallowed at the look of disappointment in Finn's eyes. He'd always been my loving, supportive mate, but now I felt like a pariah.

Ignoring the pounding in my skull and the crushing feeling in my chest, I held up the lantern and made my way down the hall. Why were there no lights here? Didn't Helian deserve to see? Once I reached the end, I swore as I shone my light into a dark, damp cell that smelled of mold and piss. Helian was in a cage smaller than a horse stall with chains around his wrists and ankles. It was so low he could only stoop. At least he had blankets and what looked like an empty food tray at his feet. He leaned against the bars of his cage, his head hanging between his knees, his shoulders stooped, his clothes soiled and torn, dirt caking his bare feet. He looked absolutely miserable. Even worse, he looked defeated. I never wanted to see my mate this way, no matter how much he'd hurt me.

I stood there a moment, trying to find the nerve to summon my voice. "Helian."

He lifted his head, lamplight flickering across his grimy face as his eyes met mine. His mouth fell open, and he looked at me as if I was a spirit before recognition finally dawned in his eyes. "Anya!" His chains rattled as he tried to stand.

"Don't get up," I said, frowning at his chains. "They're treating you like a dog." I swallowed back my fury. "Worse than a dog."

He vehemently shook his head. "I'm demon possessed." He slumped against the bars behind him. "This is what's best for everyone's safety." Dark circles framed his eyes, the silver in his irises muted to a dull gray. "How are you...and the baby?"

My hand flew to my stomach. "We're fine." I ignored the thick fog swirling in my head.

"You sure?" His brows knitted together, concern reflecting in his eyes. "You don't look like you feel well."

All moisture evaporated from my throat, and I was shocked that Helian had noticed I wasn't feeling well. Was he that attuned to me, and why now when he ignored my suffering back at Peloponese? I reflected with bitterness how I'd chased after him, cornering him in that cave. I'd pleaded with him, baring my soul, and he'd shredded my heart to pieces.

I still remember his words. I don't love you, Anya. The woman I thought I loved wasn't real.

I remember asking him about the pull between us, and instead of answering, he'd told me he was marrying Arabella. He'd denied our bond and chose to break my heart instead. And here I was chasing after him again. This time he was no longer denying our bond, but did I have it in my heart to forgive him after all he'd done?

And there was one other issue. Had he been working with Selig to trick me into creating a bomb that would've killed Malvolia's army and my sister and children? Did he know all that time that Selig was using me to create such an ominous weapon?

I swiped tears from my eyes. "Were you working with Selig?"

"What?" He gaped at me, his eyes stricken with confusion, or maybe that was panic.

"He tricked me into thinking that stone was harmless." I swiped more tears as they flowed freely. "He had me practice my magic on it. I had no idea he was going to use it to try to destroy Malvolia's army."

His eyes were two sharpened points of steel as he looked at me. "I didn't know anything about the stone until that night. My father's forces had already dropped it into Malvolia's camp, but it hit a pile of hay and didn't set off." He paused, visibly swallowing. "They were going to send one of my brothers to retrieve it."

I narrowed my eyes, searching his face for any signs of deceit. "Your brothers would've never taken orders from Fachnan."

"They wouldn't have refused if they thought retrieving the bomb would've saved you." He crawled to the edge of his cell, grabbing the bars with whitened knuckles, his chains rattling with the movement. "Because they're your fated mates, it would've been easier for them to detect your magic and find the bomb. Since I'm also your fated mate, I volunteered to go instead."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" He looked at me as if I'd sprouted an arm out of my head. "It was a suicide mission."

But he went anyway, knowing he'd probably die, to spare his brothers and me. My knees weakened.

"If Malvolia's army would've discovered that ball," he continued, "they could've sent it back into our camp and killed all of us."

"It was my magic." Emotions warred within me, from rage to sorrow to gratitude, and love, so much love, which circled back to rage. Why did he pulverize my heart and then volunteer to die for me? Why did he have to make loving me, and loving him in return, so damned difficult? "If you would've warned me, I could've deflected it."

"Then what?" He shook his head. "You'd be too drained to take on Malvolia's forces. And then Selig told me you were pregnant."

My blood boiled at the mention of that mage. "How did he know?"

He sat back on his knees, his chains rattling by his sides. "He sensed the baby in your womb."

"He manipulated you." I vowed to turn Selig to dust before this war was over.

"He manipulated both of us." Helian looked up at me with glossy eyes. "Anya, I'm sorry for any pain I caused you."

When his voice cracked and broke like splintered glass, those splinters somehow found their way to my heart, piercing it like thousands of tiny blades.

Despite the pounding in my skull and the noose around my throat, I summoned the strength to speak. "You rejected me when I told you I loved you, and then you pledged yourself to Arabella."

"I was a fool." He shook his head, a solitary tear cutting through the grime on his face. "You're the only woman I've ever loved."

I clenched my fists by my sides, those conflicting emotions warring again. "You would've married her if I hadn't outed her as a demon."

"I was afraid Malvolia would kill you if we didn't have Viggo's army as a buffer." He clasped his hands in a prayer pose. "Believe me when I say I was only thinking of you when I agreed to marry her. When we get this demon out of me, I swear I'll make it up to you."

Make it up to me? How could he erase the pain he'd caused me from his cruel rejection? "Isa says tomorrow we'll conduct the ceremony."

He leaned forward, clutching a bar with one hand while reaching toward me with the other. "I will be anxiously awaiting each agonizing minute before I can hold you in my arms again, my love. And after we defeat the demons, I will make you my queen."

Something in me snapped, and I took a large step back, my knees wobbling. Only the rage pumping through my veins kept me from collapsing. "You think I want to marry you now?"

He stretched a hand toward me, a plea in his eyes. "Anya..."

"I don't need to be a queen, Helian." Turning up my chin, I glared down at him through eyes misted with regret. "I'm already a goddess."

Tari

FINN WAS WAITING FOR me when I returned to the hall, his brow creased and his mouth turned down as he shifted from foot to foot.

I wordlessly handed him the lantern as he took my hand.

"Did you hear our conversation?" I asked him.

He grimaced. "Yes."

I swallowed then looked away. "Do you believe him?"

"I didn't sense any dishonesty in his voice."

I looked back up at him, at the swirling emotions warring within his dark eyes. "He said he went to retrieve the bomb to spare us."

He grimly nodded. "I know."

Now maybe Helian's brothers wouldn't hate him so much, though I wasn't sure if it mattered. Even if they forgave him for turning his back on us earlier, that still didn't mean I'd bond with him now.

I chewed my lower lip while processing all he'd said. He'd gone to get that ball of magic to spare his brothers, to save me. Maybe he hadn't been lying when he'd said he loved me. "Shirina can make sure he's telling the truth."

"Tari, I believe him." Finn shook his head. "He was hunted by Malvolia's mages for five years after he defected to save us. He could've found sanctuary with Fachnan if he'd given us to him. It's no stretch to believe he'd risk his life for us again."

"Then why does Ash hate him?" I asked.

"He doesn't hate him." Finn set down the lantern and grasped my shoulders, searching my gaze. "Helian hurt you, Tari. Ash is just looking out for you."

As much as I wanted to believe him, I sensed there was more to Ash's anger toward his brother, a deeper resentment, perhaps jealousy. "There's more to it than that."

"Maybe he fears once Helian joins the pack, he will no longer be alpha, or..." Finn released my shoulders, looking away. "Maybe because he fears you love Helian more than us."

I gasped, reaching for Finn. "I don't." I took his hand in mine, pulling him toward me. "Finn, look at me." My heart faltered when he looked into my eyes and I saw the uncertainty reflecting back at me. "I don't."

"He's always your first thought," he said, rejection and depression resonating in his strained whisper.

As if I couldn't have been brought lower this day, Finn's words brought me to an even lower level of shame and depression, mostly because I knew he was right. I'd been too obsessed over Helian while taking Finn and Ash for granted. What a fool I'd been.

I grasped his elbow, pulling him closer. "Because you're here with me, and Helian is not. I worry about him more because he isn't part of our pack." I rested a hand on his chest, feeling the wild pounding of his heart beneath. How could I have been so cruel? My shifter mates meant everything to me. "I've taken your loyalty for granted. I haven't shown you how much I appreciate and love you. I do so much." I traced my thumb across his pouty bottom lip and the tip of his sharp canine. "I love how you are with our girls. Seeing how patient and caring you are with them makes me love you even more." Emotion tightened my throat. "I'm so sorry," I rasped.

"Don't be sorry." His smile didn't mask the sadness reflecting in his eyes. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"I'm glad you did." I tenderly cupped his cheek, feeling the rough stubble chafe my palm. "I want you to share your feelings, even when you're angry with me."

He pressed his hand against mine, a low, deep purr rising up from his chest. "I could never be angry with you."

I hung my head in shame. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that." He pulled me flush against his chest. "You're my goddess, the mother of my children. You deserve the sun, and moon, and all the stars. I only wish I was wolf enough to give them to you."

"All I want is your heart." I leaned up and kissed the side of his mouth. "It's worth more to me than any constellations."

He put his hand on my womb, his mouth hitched in a slanted smile. "Whatever you decide with Helian, I will support you and love this baby just as I love the girls."

"Oh, Finn!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and moaned as he captured my mouth in the sweetest of kisses, his love pouring into me and making magic swell my veins. I tightened my hold on him, my knees weakening as he deepened the kiss. I moaned into his mouth, tasting sweet wine and mint as his low growl rattled my chest. I coursed my fingers through his thick hair, and we were two flaming stars arcing toward the heavens.

And it was there, as I lost myself in Finn's embrace, that every stolen memory came racing back like a floodgate had been opened. A cry tore from my lips, and I collapsed against him as I was hit with a deluge of memories.

Finn swept me into his embrace, calling to me, though he sounded so far away.

"Oh, elements!" I went limp in his arms. "I remember."

My vision darkened, tunneling on a single pinprick of light, and I thought I heard the echo of footsteps and Finn calling for help, but I was too sick and dizzy to pay much attention as the dam of memories overflowed, threatening to drown me in a sea of sorrow and regret.

I saw the birth of my children, the clandestine meetings with Adrean while we plotted Fachnan's demise, and then the night Thorin took my memories, and all the other nights that followed when the mind spinner tried to rape me.

Elements, he tried to rape me.

So many times.