14. Josie

14

JOSIE

I can't sleep. My mind won't shut off, replaying the moment I fell into Sarod's arms over and over again. The warmth of his body, the strength in his grip, the intensity in his amber eyes - it's all burned into my memory. Every detail is etched into my brain, from the roughness of his calloused hands to his faint familiar scent I've grown to love.

I toss and turn, kicking off the covers in frustration. This isn't right. I shouldn't be feeling this way about him. He's an orc, for crying out loud. The enemy. My captor. Everything I've been taught tells me to fear and hate him, to see him as nothing more than a brutish monster.

But he's also saved me. Protected me. And sometimes, when he thinks I'm not looking, I catch him watching me with an expression that makes my heart race. It's a look of curiosity, maybe even tenderness, that contradicts everything I thought I knew about orcs. I find myself wondering what he's thinking in those moments, what secrets lie behind those intense amber eyes.

I roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts a jumbled mess. How can I reconcile these conflicting emotions? The fear, the attraction, the confusion - it's all tangled up inside me, leaving me restless and uncertain. Sleep feels like a distant dream as I grapple with feelings I never expected to have.

I sit up, running my hands through my tangled hair. This is insane. I'm losing my mind, cooped up in this mansion, constantly in his presence. I need to get out, to clear my head.

The window catches my eye, moonlight spilling through the glass, casting eerie shadows across the room. It's crazy, utterly insane, but suddenly I know with crystal clarity what I have to do.

I slip out of bed, my bare feet silent on the cool floor. My heart races as I tiptoe across the room, every creak making me flinch. My hands shake as I reach for the latch, fumbling with it before finally pushing the window open. The night air rushes in, carrying the scent of freedom and possibility. I inhale deeply, savoring the crisp breeze on my skin.

This is reckless. Dangerous beyond belief. If I'm caught, the consequences will be severe - I don't even want to imagine what Sarod might do. But I can't stay here another minute, suffocating under the weight of these confusing emotions. The mansion feels like a gilded cage, and I'm a bird desperate to spread my wings.

Will Sarod kill me if he finds out that I'm leaving for good? Maybe. The thought sends a chill down my spine, but I can't deny the thrill of danger it brings. That might just be the most merciful thing to do to me right now, I realize with a twisted sense of irony. I can't live like this anymore, torn between my growing feelings for him and my deep, primal desire for freedom. It's tearing me apart, and something's got to give.

I swing my legs over the windowsill, heart pounding. The ground seems impossibly far away, but I'm past the point of no return. I take a deep breath and push off, praying I don't break my neck in the process.

I land hard, pain shooting up my legs, but I'm intact. Adrenaline surges through me as I straighten up, glancing back at the looming mansion. For a moment, I hesitate. Am I really doing this?

But then I think of Sarod's face, of the way my body reacts to his mere presence, and I know I have to go. I can't face him like this, not when I'm so confused and conflicted.

I sprint across the moonlit garden, unable to throw a glance over my shoulder to see if anyone’s coming after me. The cool grass tickles my bare feet as I dash towards the gate, freedom so close I can almost taste it. But then I hear it - heavy footsteps behind me, getting closer with each passing second.

"Josie!" Sarod's deep voice booms across the night air.

I push myself harder, lungs burning, but it's no use. I don't know how it's even possible, but he's on my tail within seconds. His hand clamps down on my shoulder, spinning me around. Before I can react, he tackles me to the ground, pinning me beneath his massive frame.

"Let me go!" I thrash against him, but it's like fighting a mountain.

Sarod's amber eyes blaze with anger and something else - hurt? "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like?" I spit back, my voice dripping with venom. "I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore! This place is suffocating me!"

"You can't leave," he growls, his massive hands tightening their grip on my shoulders. "You owe me. Don't you dare forget that."

I laugh bitterly, the sound harsh and mirthless in the still night air. "Owe you? For what? Keeping me prisoner? Making my life miserable? Oh, that's rich coming from you, Sarod. You've done nothing but torment me since I got here!"

"For stealing from me," Sarod reminds me, his face inches from mine. His hot breath fans across my cheeks, and I can see the fury dancing in his amber eyes. "Or have you forgotten that little detail? Did it slip your mind while you were plotting your great escape?"

"I haven't forgotten anything," I hiss. "But I've more than paid my debt. I want a real life, Sarod. I want freedom. And you're standing in the way of that."

His grip on my wrists tightens. "You're a thief, Josie. You don't get to decide when your debt is paid."

"And you don't get to decide my entire future!" I shout, tears of frustration stinging my eyes. "I'm more than just a thief. I'm a person with dreams and hopes. Don't I deserve a chance at something better?"

For a moment, Sarod's expression softens. But then his jaw clenches, and there's a fury in his eyes that sends a shudder down my spine. "You had your chance at something better. You threw it away the moment you stole from me."

"So that's it?" I ask, my voice breaking. "I'm just your prisoner forever?"

Sarod's eyes search mine, conflict clear on his face. "You're not... It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" I challenge, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because from where I'm lying, it sure feels like a prison. Or is this some twisted game you're playing?" My chest heaves with each breath, anger and fear mingling in a toxic cocktail.

I glare up into Sarod's eyes, fury and frustration boiling over. His amber gaze bores into mine, and for a split second, I see something flicker there - regret? Uncertainty? But it's gone before I can be sure.

"Get off me, you brute!" I spit, struggling against his grip. My arms strain against his hands, but it's like trying to move a mountain. The heat of his body pressed against mine only fuels my rage.

"Not until you calm down and see reason," he growls, his massive body still pinning me to the ground. His tusks gleam in the dim light as he speaks, a reminder of just how different we are. "This isn't what I want either, Josie. But you've left me no choice."

"Reason? You wouldn't know reason if it smacked you in that thick skull of yours!" I spit back, struggling against his iron grip.

Sarod's eyes narrow dangerously, his amber irises flashing with anger. "Watch your tongue, little thief," he growls, his hot breath fanning across my face. "You forget who you're talking to. I'm not some tavern drunk you can mouth off to."

"Oh, I know exactly who I'm talking to," I snarl back, my heart pounding so hard I'm sure he can feel it through his grip on me. "A conceited, arrogant orc who thinks he can control everyone and everything around him! You're nothing but a bully with some fancy zyrphix titles to your name!"

"I'm trying to protect you, damn it!" he roars, his face now mere inches from mine. The proximity of his tusks should terrify me, but I'm too furious to care.

"Protect me?" I laugh bitterly, the sound harsh and unnatural even to my own ears. "From what? A life of my own choosing? The horror! Oh, spare me from the terrible fate of making my own decisions!"

Sarod's grip tightens, his massive green hands like vises on my arms. I can see the muscles in his jaw working as he grinds his teeth, clearly struggling to keep his temper in check. "You have no idea what's out there," he grinds out. "The dangers- the things that could happen to a girl like you-"

"I don't care!" I cut him off, my voice trembling with a fury that I can't quite control. "Whatever's out there has to be better than being your prisoner! At least I'd have a chance at freedom, at living my own life! Don't you get it? I'd rather face a thousand dangers than spend another day trapped here with you!"

"You're not a prisoner!" he bellows, his hot breath washing over my face. The intensity in his eyes makes me flinch, but I stand my ground.

"Then what am I, Sarod?" I challenge, my voice rising to match his. Adrenaline courses through my veins, knowing this could end badly for me. "What exactly am I to you? Just another conquest? A toy to be played with and discarded?"

For a moment, he seems at a loss for words, conflict clear in his amber eyes. I can see the struggle within him, the battle between his pride and something deeper, something he's trying desperately to hide. His jaw clenches, and his hands grip my wrists even tighter. The tension in the air is so thick I can barely breathe.

Then, without warning, he crushes his lips against mine in a bruising kiss. It's fierce and passionate, filled with all the words he can't seem to say. His large hand move to grip my throat instead of my wrist, as if to remind me that he owns me completely.

Despite myself, I feel my body responding, a warmth spreading through me like wildfire. My hands, seemingly of their own accord, grip at his muscular chest, torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. Even as my mind reels in confusion, my traitorous heart races, and I can't help but melt into his embrace.