46. Claudia

Chapter 46

Claudia

I 'm sitting with Stefania in her living room. We drink wine and pretend like everything's normal, even though Angelo's out doing something dangerous with Stefania's husband and Elena's brother-in-law. There's an undercurrent of anxiety rippling through the room, and I have to keep reminding myself that they're feeling it too.

I hate being stuck here. I know I'd be useless if I were with the guys right now, and I'd only make things so much worse, but it still drives me crazy. I want to do something, except I can only wait and wonder if the worst-case scenario is going to play out.

What if Angelo doesn't come back? What if Tommy kills Serena in the escape? It's like my future's in the balance along with my sanity, and I'm not sure I could survive either scenario. I've been strong for so long now that I feel brittle and weak right when it matters the most.

"How do you stand it?" I ask Stefania later that night. It's nearly one in the morning, and we still haven't heard anything. I'm exhausted but still too wired to go back home and sleep. "I mean, you've been doing this for years, right?"

"It never gets easy," she admits, looking pale and haggard. Elena went home a few hours back. "I think it helps that I'm in the business side of things, but I don't know. Davide disappears, sometimes for days at a time, and he'll come back with these injuries—" She takes a slow, deep breath, and blows it out. "Can I admit something to you?"

"Please do. I'm on the verge of spilling my guts too."

She laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Nights like these are a big reason why I don't want to have kids. Davide's job is so fucking dangerous, and it's bad enough that I put myself through this hell. I can't do that to children too. If we ever lost him, I'd be a total wreck, I'd be completely broken, and it'd be so unfair to the little ones. I just… I just can't handle it."

"I completely understand," I tell her. I try to imagine myself with two babies in my arms while crying over the death of Angelo, but I force myself to stop. It's way too morbid. "This isn't an easy life, is it? I mean, you have all this comfort, but?—"

"The money and power only get so much." She smiles and there's a deep sadness in her. "Sorry, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is just the first of many future evenings where you sit up and wonder if your husband's going to come back in one piece, if he comes back at all." She curses and throws back her wine. "Okay, I'm being such an asshole right now. I'm sorry, seriously, don't listen to me. I'm just on edge."

"You're totally fine. Let me get some refills, okay? Maybe if we keep drinking, we'll pass out eventually."

"Worth a shot."

I head into the kitchen, trying to imagine myself going through this night over and over again, and even though this is hellish, I think Angelo's worth it.

Once the glasses are full, I start back to the living room but stop when there's a knock at the door.

Stefania and I exchange looks and she jumps to her feet. She hurries to the foyer as the door opens and Angelo comes into the room.

I put the glasses down. I damn near throw them on the floor. He says something softly to Stefania, and she looks so relieved it's almost painful, and then I'm running to him. I throw myself into his arms and he hugs me, pulling me up into the air and slamming a fierce kiss onto my mouth.

"It's okay, baby," he whispers, holding me tight. "I'm back and it's over. It's okay, it's all over."

"I was so fucking worried," I say and look around for Stef. "Is Davide okay too? What happened?"

"Davide's fine. He's on clean-up duty but he'll be home soon." Angelo steps back and takes my hand. "Come on. I have something I want to show you."

My heart's skipping beats as we walk into the night. Stefania waves from the porch before closing her front door.

There are a million questions in my head. I want to throw them all at Angelo, but he's got this little knowing smile on his lips, and I can't bring myself to open my mouth. I'm too scared, and too hopeful, and even more scared that my hope's about to get smashed into little pieces alongside my heart.

We walk up the steps to his house and he takes me into the kitchen.

"Hey, Claud."

I stare at my sister, my mouth hanging open, then I look at Angelo and he's grinning huge. He nods at me and pushes me toward her, and then I'm stalking across his house, and I'm hugging Serena so hard I feel like I might break her spine in half. She's all skin and bones and so stinking skinny, and I don't care, because she's safe and she's finally here.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" I pull back, finally noticing the bandage on her face. I touch it, fussing.

"I'm fine. The doctor already looked me over and stitched me up. Sorry we didn't get you sooner but Angelo says he wanted to make sure I was fine before doing this little reunion." She smiles slightly and I can see a million years' worth of pent-up sorrow in her eyes. "Listen, Claud. I am so, so sorry, and?—"

"Everything's forgiven." I take her hands in mine.

"Seriously? Just like that? I was terrible to you."

"And now you're here. It's okay now, right?"

For the first time since I started working at Cage, the real Serena shines through. She smiles, bright and airy, and she makes a little casual shrug, like this is no big deal. "I guess we'll manage."