Chapter Twenty-One

I froze. “Clifford?”

“Do you have another fiancé I’m not aware of?” Santino clipped, looking furious.

“What is he doing here?”

“Ask him. I haven’t opened the door yet to find out.”

I swallowed. I couldn’t send him away without talking to him. What if he told my parents he couldn’t reach me? Maybe I could pretend I wasn’t home? “Can you let him in while I try to make myself presentable?”

“Sure,” Santino gritted out.

Before I could say anything else, he stalked away. I slipped into the bathroom and quickly washed and put on a load of perfume to cover Santino’s scent. My hair still wasn’t as straight as I preferred it but I couldn’t do anything about it now, at least I didn’t look like I’d been banging my bodyguard.

Taking a deep breath, I emerged from the bathroom. Santino and Clifford were in the living area. Clifford stood awkwardly beside the sofa, as if he wasn’t sure it was safe to sit down. Which was understandable given Santino’s expression. He leaned against the kitchenette with a murderous look, his arms crossed.

I gave a strained smile, still completely stunned by Clifford’s appearance. I’d have thought we wouldn’t see each other again until I returned to Chicago for the next social gathering. My pulse was still fast. This time however for a vastly different reason than fifteen minutes ago.

I could only hope Clifford didn’t realize what Santino and I had been up to. If he let something slip to his parents and they talked to mine… Paris would be over and Santino would be in major trouble.

“Hey,” I said as I walked over to Clifford. We hugged briefly, which felt completely awkward, especially because Santino was watching us.

“You are here,” I said unnecessarily.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“I am surprised,” I said, laughing nervously.

I motioned toward our balcony. “Why don’t we sit outside? The weather’s still nice.”

Clifford glanced at Santino then nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”

Just like Clifford, I was eager to get away from Santino who looked ready to kill my fiancé. And not just that, I felt strangely guilty toward Santino. As if I were cheating on him by talking to Clifford when it should be the other way around.

“You don’t look happy. Am I interrupting anything?” Clifford asked with a glance toward Santino as we sank down on the chairs outside. Because it was getting dark and only March, the temperature had dropped considerably from my stroll with Santino earlier. I shivered but rather freeze to death than bear the strained atmosphere with Santino and Clifford in one room.

“Of course not. I’m just busy with fashion school, that’s all.” I wasn’t even that busy yet. Most of my courses so far were introductory because the Spring semester was only about to begin.

Clifford gave me a boyish smile. Maybe it was because I spent so much time with Santino but Clifford seemed too young. “That’s why I came on a weekend. I thought surprising your fiancée like that was a good start to a marriage.”

It probably was for a love marriage, which ours decidedly was not. The man I was close to falling in love with watched us from the sidelines and would never be my husband. And I feared that the man who’d become my husband and I was supposed to love, would never own my heart, not in the way Santino already did. It wasn’t love because I wouldn’t allow myself to feel that way, but my heart was definitely beating for Santino in a way that wasn’t healthy considering my planned future.

Clifford shrugged. “I suppose I was wrong. Don’t worry. I’ll keep myself busy until my flight leaves on Monday.”

He really flew over all the way from the States for a weekend to visit me? It was kind of sweet. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being a real fiancée. “I thought you were seeing someone and being exclusive. Isn’t it weird if you come visit me?”

Though maybe she didn’t mind. After all, they weren’t dating and she knew he was engaged to me, which was strange in itself, but anyway.

“We decided to not see each other anymore. It got weird with you now officially in the picture. I didn’t want to risk emotions getting in the way on her part. A scorned woman is a dangerous woman.”

My gaze darted to Santino. With him, I didn’t have to worry about word getting out. He was used to being the man in the shadows, but I could tell that he didn’t like to be reminded of it. He was no longer watching us and preparing an espresso instead, but I knew he was very aware of what went on outside and he didn’t like it one bit. I’d always relished in his brief moments of jealousy, but not today.

“We can have lunch tomorrow if you want. You came here all the way after all.”

“A pity date?” Clifford asked, sounding as if he was joking. But he had a point. It was out of pity.

“No,” I lied. “Where are you staying? Maybe I can come over so we’ll have lunch in the hotel restaurant?”

“In the Four Seasons.”

Of course. “We’ll meet in the lobby at twelve?”

I wanted to get Clifford out of the apartment as soon as possible. It felt too awkward.

He nodded and stood with a knowing gleam in his eyes. “Good. Then let’s meet there.”

I wasn’t really looking forward to spending the day with him, especially because I knew how pissed Santino was going to be in the next few days.

I accompanied Clifford to the door and Clifford pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I hope he won’t have lunch with us.”

I laughed tightly. “Don’t worry I’ll tell him to wait in the car.”

I closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’ll tell me to wait in the car? What am I, a dog you can give orders to?”

I huffed. “I had to say something. We can’t risk making Clifford suspicious.”

Santino nodded, his jaw set tight. He was angry, but I could tell that wasn’t all. He looked jealous and upset. I didn’t even want to imagine being in his stead. I would probably lose my mind if Santino was promised to a woman and would meet her for lunch, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.

“I thought he didn’t care if you fuck other men.”

I didn’t like how callous he sounded all of a sudden. “You and I have known each other for a long time. Clifford would realize that it’s more than sex.”

“Is it?”

I went over to him and touched his chest. He didn’t soften, not his body or expression. “Come on, don’t be like that. You knew I was promised to Clifford when we started sleeping with each other. It’s not a secret. I thought you preferred the no-strings-attached sex.”

Santino didn’t say anything.

I bit my lip coyly and got down to my knees in front of him. “Let me make it up to you.”

He scowled down at me. “You really think a blow job and sex is going to make everything better? I’m more than my cock.”

My heart clenched. He was so much more to me, but he couldn’t be. “You know Clifford is my fiancé. I can’t very well send him off without spending a bit of time with him after he crossed the Atlantic to be with me.”

Santino gripped my arms and pulled me to my feet. “I need to catch up on sleep.”

Without another word, he walked into his bedroom. We’d spent every night together in the last few weeks but I could sense that I wasn’t welcome in his bed tonight, so I went over to my bedroom.

Maybe it was my memory but I could still smell sex.

I sank down on the bed, feeling torn. Santino and I had only just started sleeping with each other and I could tell it had already changed how we felt about each other. Santino had become possessive and I definitely felt emotionally attached to him. How much worse would it be in a few months from now? Or in a year?

Could we really keep risking it?

My lunch with Clifford was pleasant and surprisingly uneventful. If he noticed the lingering tension between me and Santino, he kept his thoughts to himself. I was glad. I really didn’t want to discuss my complicated relationship with Santino to my fiancé.

Luckily, Clifford had a cousin who studied at Sorbonne and planned to spend the rest of the day with him. Knowing he had other people he wanted to visit in the city made me feel less obligated to spend time with him, which was good because I could only think about Santino anyway.

He had barely spoken to me all morning, treating me like he had in the past.

It bothered me, which in turn made me wonder how it would be once we were forced to return to a solely professional relationship.

On our drive back to the apartment after my lunch with Clifford, I turned to him. “What are we doing, Santino? We’re supposed to have fun. If you’re constantly pissed because I have to interact with Clifford then it’s going to be really tough on the both of us. You know I can’t ignore him. I’m not kissing him or doing anything else.”

“I know,” Santino gritted out.

“Then why are you being so hostile to me?”

“I’m pissed.”

I widened my eyes comically. Did he think I hadn’t noticed?

He sighed, his fingers around the steering wheel turning white from pressure.

“I know you have to talk to him. I know he’s your fiancé and your future. I’m mostly pissed at myself because I didn’t think it would bother me that much. But I really don’t like the idea of sharing you.”

“You aren’t sharing me now.”

“I guess not, but I will eventually.”

“Not really,” I said quietly. “Because once I’m married, we can’t be together anymore.” I realized I no longer thought we’d stop once we were back in Chicago…

“That’s a consolation,” Santino muttered.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. Maybe it would be best if we stopped this now.

“I’ll try to get a grip, all right? It’ll be tough but I do my best to ignore Cliffy’s existence.”

I opened my eyes and smiled slightly. “Good, because I don’t want to give up what we have just yet.”

Despite our conversation, our relationship remained strained in the days after my meeting with Clifford. I wanted it to return to how it was.

I missed the banter and the uninhibited sex. Our last intercourse had felt just like that. Polite intercourse.

I leaned in the doorway to Santino’s room as he did push-ups. “You know, Sonny, I would have never pegged you as a pussy who lets emotions ruin a perfectly good sex life.”

I stifled a grin at the look on Santino’s face.

He pushed to his feet, his sweats hanging low on his hips and sweat glistening enticingly on his upper body. “Did you just call me pussy?”

I shrugged with a teasing smile. This felt good, safer.

Santino stalked toward me and I whirled around but before I could dash away, he slung an arm around my waist and slapped my ass hard. I gasped, but he simply lifted me up and carried me over to the bed where he draped me over his lap. Santino’s palm smashed against my ass again—even harder. I jerked with a cry, my shock-widened eyes darting up to Santino’s face. “Are you cra—?”

Santino shoved away my panties, and I moaned, my head falling forward when he slid two fingers into me. As usual, our banter had already prepped me well and my muscles welcomed him gladly.

“If I’d known this would shut you up, I would have fingerfucked you over my lap sooner.”

I hung limply over his strong legs as he eased his long fingers in and out. His other hand massaged my ass.

I breathed through my nose, my eyes falling shut.

“You won’t ever call me pussy again.”

I hummed my agreement. With Santino’s fingers hitting all the right spots, I would have agreed to anything.

Santino’s hot breath hit my skin a second before he bit my ass cheek lightly, making me moan even louder. “You can be such a good girl when you’re horny. I’ll remember that.”

“How does letting you fingerfuck me over your lap when I’m engaged to another man make me a good girl?”

Santino’s palm hit my ass hard. I jerked then cried out when he pinched my clit and I almost came. “You are only mine right now, and I want you to remember that.”

My head lolled forward once more with a weak nod as Santino’s fingers moved torturously slowly, stroking my inner walls deliciously, as he moved so deep his knuckles pressed against my clit.

“Now I want you to come hard like a good girl.”

I would have rolled my eyes if Santino hadn’t started thrusting his fingers into me at a pace that had me grab his legs and my toes digging into the floor because I was losing track of what was up and down.

“Oh god,” I gasped. “Oh god.”

I wasn’t sure I could take much more. My body was heightened to the max, my clit swollen and aching, desperate for release.

Santino smashed his palm against my ass when his fingers were buried all the way in me and his knuckles hit my clit.

I screamed as I came with a violent shudder. A string of unintelligible words, some French some Italian fell from my lips as I pressed my face against Santino’s calf and felt wetness trickle down my thighs.

Confusion filled me but I was too overwhelmed and exhausted to react on it.

Santino purred like a lion as he stroked my ass, his fingers still sliding in and out of me.

He bent down and pressed a kiss to my left then my right ass cheek before he pulled out his fingers and kissed my sensitive flesh. I moaned again. His tongue trailed over my upper thigh.

I lifted my head, certain my hair was worse than a bird’s nest. “I’m not sure I like you spanking me like a naughty schoolgirl.”

Santino peered at me over my ass, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Your body does. You squirted like a good girl.”

My cheeks heated. For some reason, this seemed like something unnormal to do. I’d never done that before.

“Trust me, making a girl squirt is a badge of honor every man wears proudly,” Santino said, reading me as usual. Lying on his legs had become increasingly uncomfortable due to his erection digging insistently into my belly.

His smile broadened, becoming almost wolfish. “Let’s see if I can earn another badge.”

Santino gripped my hips and tossed me on the bed. I let out a groan, feeling boneless.

“No rest for the wicked, Cherie, I’m going to give you a real pounding now.”

Santino positioned me so I was sprawled out on the bed with my face turned toward the wooden bars of the headboard.

“You better hold on tightly. This is going to be rough.”

I bit my lower lip to stifle a grin. Santino propped my ass up slightly then squatted behind me. I was about to comment on the position when he slammed into me. His hands clamped down on my hips as he pistoned into me. My hands shot out, fingers desperately clinging to the bars of the bed.

“Oh holy shit,” I gasped into the pillow.

Santino’s thrusts hit me so deeply and filled me so entirely that stars burst before my eyes from the sensations. The slapping sounds of his thighs hitting my ass cheeks mingled with our moans. The bed vibrated, slamming against the wall over and over again. I really hoped our neighbors wouldn’t call the police.

I came with a cry, my fingers clutching on to the bars and my teeth sinking into the pillow. This was almost too much. Santino didn’t slow. He was angry fucking me. I’d never really understood the term, but now I did, and it was addicting.

He leaned down. “Savor every second. One day the memory of this will be the only thing that’ll get you through the unfulfilling poking that Cliffy considers sex.”

“Asshole,” I gritted out, trying to shove up but Santino’s thrusts kept me flat on my stomach.

“That’s right,” Santino growled, kissing me harshly. I answered his kiss with the same fervor.

I lost track of time but the soreness in my body when Santino and I had come told me we might have established a new personal record.

I rolled over on my back, sweat trickling down my chest. I was completely exhausted. A low hum rang in my body, an echo of pleasure that seemed reluctant to go. I closed my eyes, basking in this feeling. I could hear Santino move and the wet sound of the condom hitting the bin. Slowly my eyes peeled open as Santino stood next to the bed, watching me.

I gave him a lazy smile. “I like your form of punishment.”

“Glad I performed to your satisfaction.”

He didn’t return to bed and it made me wonder if he wanted me to go to my room. We still hadn’t spent the night together since Clifford’s appearance and I missed it. “Won’t you lie down? I feel like falling asleep beside you again.”

I didn’t care if admitting it weakened my position. Santino was jealous so he too must feel more for me than lust.

“You think that’s a good idea?”

It most definitely wasn’t. Nothing about this was a good idea. “I don’t care.”

Santino chuckled sardonically. He stretched out beside me and pulled me against him. “One day, I’ll regret this, but as you put it, I don’t care.”