2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

" — Hello? Are you all right?"

"Huh?" LA's eyes fluttered open, and he found himself being cradled in the arms of the monster.

Well.

So much for imagining it.

"Holy shit." LA stared. "You're… You're real. You're really real."

The monster stared back. "Are you going to scream at me again? Because I'd really prefer it if you didn't—"

"Why the fuck did you scream?"

"You scared me!" The monster pouted.

"Oh fuck off! What the fuck is going on?" LA pushed his way out of the monster's arms. He kept gawking, even tried rubbing his eyes, but the monster remained standing right there with a very cute if not slightly concerned pout. " What the fuck are you?"

"Wow, definitely not as rude as you." The monster snorted. "Hi, my name is Cass. It's nice to be summoned by you."

"Summoned?" LA looked at the shopping bag on the table and his mind tried to connect the pieces. "The bottle. You were in the bottle? But I didn't rub it!"

"Uh, no, not without dinner first," Cass teased.

"The fucking fuck?"

"I came through the bottle, Mr. Rudeness. No rubbing required."

"What…? What ?" LA couldn't form any other words, staggering to the couch to flop down with a hiss of pain. He took a deep breath, his spine burning as he fought to get his brain to cooperate, and grunted out, "What kind of monster comes through a fuckin' bottle?"

"Technically, I'm an imp." Cass sat on the other end of the couch. "If you're trying to ask me what I am. I think that's what you mean anyway. Hard to tell with all the cursing if you're being serious or just a jerk."

"An imp ?" LA scoffed. "Aren't you kinda big for an imp?"

"Oh! Do you know a lot of imps?" Cass batted his eyes.

"No. I… I just…"

"Decided to open your big mouth and be mean ?"

LA rubbed his forehead. "You were just supposed to be a pretty bottle to stick on my damn nightstand."

"This is your lucky day then!" Cass beamed. "Because now you have a pretty imp to help you instead!"

"Help me what?"

"Find your strength, you silly man." Cass playfully batted at LA's shoulder.

"The strength potion." LA frowned deeply. "The guy at the shop said it was a strength potion."

"Yes! That's me." Cass shrugged his big shoulders. "Kind of. Mostly. You can't really drink me. That would be weird. Especially with all this fur? Not very pleasant."

"So, you just…" LA scoffed. "What? Hang out in a bottle until it's time to come out? Like a genie?"

"Ha, no! God, that would be horrible." Cass grimaced. "Can you imagine being trapped inside a little tiny bottle like that for eternity? Ugh, no, just terrible. And no leg room!"

"Okay, so you weren't actually inside the bottle?" LA was having trouble keeping this insanity straight and it made him long for the contents of another kind of bottle.

Which he'd left upstairs.

Shit.

"No. Think of the bottle as a doorway. I heard you knock, I answered, and ta-da!" Cass waved his paws and rainbow confetti shot out of thin air, raining over them. "Here I am!"

LA swatted at the confetti, at least grateful that it seemed to disappear when it touched something. "I didn't knock."

"Humans. Taking everything so literally." Cass chuckled. "A knock could be a plea, a thought, a feeling . It's you reaching out into the void and screaming for help. Like, help me, help meee !"

"That did not happen."

"Sure, Jan." Cass laughed. "Either way, here I am!"

"How have you guys never been discovered?" LA demanded. "If you're all running around helping everyone, why have I never heard of magical helping imps before?"

Cass wiggled his claws. "Because we're sneaky ."

"Right. So, uh…" LA gestured airily. "What now?"

"Usually, people like to tell me their name," Cass said in a stage whisper. "Or I can just keep calling you Mr. Rudeness."

"LA."

"Eh? Elly ?"

"No, LA. Like the city."

"Mmm. No." Cass shook his head. "Elly."

"It's the letters L and A. It's my initials. Lawrence Alexander. But people call me LA, got it?"

"Right. Got it, Elly."

LA scowled. "How do I make you go away?"

"Aw!" Cass pouted again and his big ears drooped. "I just got here!"

"Just tell me what to do so you'll go back through that damn bottle and get out of my house." LA stood to head into the kitchen. He didn't feel like walking back upstairs, but he needed a drink pronto.

"I will leave when I decide that you've recovered your strength." Cass grinned, his sharp teeth shining as he tagged along behind him. "That's what I'm here to help you do!"

"Uh-huh." LA grabbed a soda from the fridge. "Like, physical strength?"

"No." Cass had to duck and turn sideways to squeeze through the kitchen doorway. "Your fortitude. Your inner strength! If you were able to summon me, it means you are going through a pretty rough time right now. Maybe you recently had some big changes with your career or a relationship?"

LA sighed and grabbed the rum. "All of the above."

"Ah, so!" Cass leaned against the counter and offered a gentle smile. "Tell me what's going on."

"Right now?"

"You're the one who's in such a hurry to get rid of me." Cass smirked. "The faster I help you, the faster I leave."

LA narrowed his eyes. "What happens if I don't?"

"Don't what?"

"What if I decide I don't want your help and tell you to fuck off or whatever?" LA waved the bottle. "What if I think this is fucking nuts and you're just a figment of my imagination or something?"

Cass poked LA right in the middle of his forehead.

"Ow! Hey!" LA swatted at him.

"Do I feel like a figment?"

"No."

"Ha!"

"But you still might be some kind of hallucination."

"Well, I hope you're ready to enjoy a super awesome hallucination for a while. I'm not going anywhere until your strength is recovered," Cass said firmly. "Even if that means forever."

"Forever? Wait, like, forever forever?"

"Eternity, if need be." Cass grinned. "Me and you are gonna be like peanut butter and jelly! Cheese and burger! Scrambled eggs and hummus! Ham and—"

" What ?"

Cass patted LA's head. "Just be certain that I am not going anywhere until we figure this out! I am honestly here to help you, Elly. So, please." He gave him a gentle smile. "Let me?"

"Okay. Fine." LA poured heavily, very heavily, and then took a gulp of his extra crunchy drink. "I got fired, I got dumped, and my mother is trying to make me go to a wedding for someone I absolutely hate."

Cass blinked. "Wait, and all that happened today?"

"Yes." LA paused. "Oh, and I got a flat fuckin' tire too."

"Wow. Wowie. Yeah, you need a hug." Cass held out his big arms.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Cass wiggled his claws. "I give really good hugs. Like, the best. I have won hugging contests in fact. All primed and ready, a blue ribbon award winning hug just for you. Warm and snuggly. Right here."

"No." LA topped off his drink with more rum.

"Well. It's a shame to waste it." Cass shrugged and then hugged himself instead, smiling brightly. "Mmm, mmm, mmm , that's a good hug."

LA brushed by Cass on his way back to the living room. He brought the bottle of rum with him. "Are there others like you?"

"Handsome, charming imps?" Cass grunted, squeezing through the doorway again as he followed. "Of course!"

"So, there's other… monsters?" LA frowned.

"There's gargoyles, demons, witches, incubi, goblins, nephilim, vampires, fae, minotaurs, werewolves, reapers, hmm." Cass paused and then grinned. "And oh! This one guy named Jack."

"Jack?"

"Yeah. Never met him, but I hear he's lovely." Cass shrugged. "You have to understand that this world is but one of many. There are countless realms with all manner of magical and monstrous folk."

"That's… terrifying."

"Why?"

"I don't know." LA gestured vaguely. "Maybe because I don't know? I mean, I didn't know. Before now. And now I do. And all I'm doing is questioning my fucking sanity because a giant hot monster is in my living room—"

"Hot?" Cass squeaked and somehow the fur on his cheeks turned a brilliant shade of red.

"Wait, are you… Are you blushing?"

"Did you just call me hot?"

LA's face ignited. "What? No!"

"You did!" Cass pointed. "You're blushing!"

LA pointed back. "So are you! I'm just, just flushed from the booze!" Which he then turned up because he couldn't actually melt into a hole and vanish. "Plus it's just hot in here. I'm, I'm just kinda worked up because a monster—"

" Imp ."

"Imp! Whatever! Is in my living room bossing me around!" LA watched Cass's tail twitch, the graceful curl instantly hypnotizing. He looked away, locking eyes with one of his paintings to distract himself from whatever this was.

This was stupid.

Very stupid.

Somewhere in LA's brain, there was a thought about making a joke about how he always picked partners who turned out to be monsters, so why not be attracted to a real monster? But Cass wasn't like any of the men he was usually attracted to.

Cass was goofy and silly and absolutely aggravating and—okay, okay, the sheer difference in size was something, but… Wait, what the fuck was happening?

LA stared at the glass of rum in his hand like he could blame all of his problems on this singular tumbler of alcohol.

Fuck it.

Maybe he could try.

LA was buzzed and that was definitely why he thought the monster was attractive. It was the alcohol making his golden eyes so bright and his smile charming, and it was absolutely why he was secretly tempted to find out just how good one of those award winning hugs was.

He sighed haggardly, asking, "If I get my strength back and fix my problems, that means you go away, right?"

"More or less, but that's really a huge oversimplification of what I do—"

"I have time to get a lawyer and appeal my bullshit termination. I am going to be ignoring my mother because I really do not have the energy to deal with her right now. So, I want to focus on Gavin."

"What's a Gavin?"

"Gavin is my boyfriend." LA sat on the couch as he nursed his drink.

"What happened?" Cass asked as he joined him, his expression concerned. "You said he dumped you?"

"Yeah, after almost two years." LA nodded. "Which, for me, is a pretty long time. He gave me a bunch of crap over missing a lunch date with his parents today when he knew I had a meeting with my boss about my job. He always does this shit."

"What stuff?"

"Makes plans on dates when he knows I already have something else to do." LA snorted sourly. "I know he does it because he's insecure and wants me to make a big deal about choosing him over whatever the other thing is, but this is fucking ridiculous even for him."

"This is something he's done before?" Cass seemed alarmed.

"Yeah. Like when I want to go have some drinks with my friends, he magically has new movie tickets or he's ordered takeout for us. Or when I had a funeral director conference, he booked us a hotel at the beach so I had to cancel it. Crap like that."

"So, this is… common behavior."

"I know he's not perfect. Far from it. He has his issues, but so do I." LA looked down at his glass. "I worked all the time. And I mean, all the time . Pull a ten hour shift, have to be on call that night, and right back at it the next day. It was hard to see each other but he was always understanding."

"Manipulating you into doing what he wants at the cost of your own desires doesn't sound very understanding to me."

"It's not your job to understand, right? It's just your fucking job to help me. I need to get him back." LA downed the rest of his drink.

"Let's take some deep breaths," Cass suggested, "and really think about what you're asking me to do."

"Get my boyfriend back?"

"Yes, that." Cass frowned. "Do you really feel like Gavin was meeting your needs?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you love about Gavin?"

LA scoffed. "I love him. It doesn't matter."

"Oh, but I think it does." Cass held out his paws and he was now holding a notepad and a pink fuzzy pen. "We are going to make a nice little list of everything you love about Gavin."

"Holy fuck, this is dumb."

"We are also going to write down everything that you do not love about Gavin!" Cass grinned, looking very pleased with himself. "Thinking that control issues and domineering of personal time are gonna go over here in the do not love side."

"Hey! Stop that! Quit writing!" LA tried to snatch the pen away.

Cass leapt to his feet, his wings flapping as he scrambled out of LA's reach.

LA growled as he gave chase and limped after Cass. "Hey! Come here!"

"Manipulative!" Cass kept running, leading LA in circles. "Mmm, sounds kinda selfish too."

"I swear to fuck, come on!" LA managed to catch the end of Cass's tail and he pulled as hard as he could, grunting sharply from the fiery reminder in his back that he didn't have the physical ability he once did.

"What's wrong?" Cass frowned, skidding to a stop. "Are you in pain?"

"Yes! And you're about to be if you don't stop!" LA tried to grab the notepad, but Cass was so tall that it was effortless for him to lift it out of reach. "Come on!"

"Why not just give me some positive things, hmm? Tell me some things you love about Gavin! Is he nice to animals? Is he a good cuddler?" Cass sighed. "Work with me here!"

The pain in LA's back forced him to retreat, and he growled in frustration as he trudged to the couch. He flopped down and stretched out his legs, trying to get the sting to ease off. "This is so, so stupid."

"Why?"

"Because I love him, I want him back, and that's the end of it, okay?" LA's head was not nearly fuzzy enough for this, and he refilled his glass with straight rum.

Cass frowned, eyeing the glass.

LA defiantly took a big gulp and promptly choked.

It still looked like rum, but…

No way.

LA glared at the glass and then at Cass. "Did you turn my booze into chocolate milk?"

"Uh." Cass hummed. "No."

"Then why does it taste like fucking chocolate milk?"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I lied. I totally did." Cass grinned sheepishly. "You just seem a little tiny bit pent up right now and alcohol is not going to make you feel better."

"I strongly disagree." LA scowled. "I've had a horrible day, I'm in pain , and oh yeah, there's a monster in my house who wants me to justify my relationship—"

"Former relationship."

"What is your problem, huh?"

"You waved some huge red flags." Cass wiggled his paw and an actual red flag appeared in it, waving in the air though there was no breeze. "I really am here to help you and I would not be doing a good job if I didn't point them out to you."

"What red flags? What are you talking about?"

"Him knowing your schedule and blatantly ignoring it? I understand that he has certain emotional needs, but you've been meeting those at the expense of your own." Cass made the flag vanish as he crossed his arms. "And this isn't a onetime thing. It's a clearly established pattern of emotional abuse. He's doing these things on purpose not only to make you prove that he's the most vital thing in your life but also to emphasize that the things you want don't matter."

LA tensed. "What?"

"When was the last time you even saw your friends?"

"Uh…" LA swallowed hard, saying quickly, "I don't know. But I mean hey, they're busy too. They got jobs and lives and—"

"How long before they stop asking you to hang out?" Cass asked, almost so quietly LA was still talking before he realized Cass had started speaking. "Or have they already stopped trying?"

LA's jaw opened and closed.

His chest hurt, his eyes burned, and he wanted to scream and fight but he knew Cass was right. He hadn't heard from any of his friends in weeks. Honestly, it had probably been even longer than that. He'd blown them off time and time again because of Gavin and he'd been so wrapped in keeping his relationship together that he hadn't even noticed they weren't speaking to him.

Not until this very moment.

Cass perched on the arm of the couch and he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."

"For what? There's nothing to be sorry for." LA gritted his teeth. "It's fine! Plenty of friends go a while without talking to each other. It's not a big deal. And once I get shit fixed with Gavin, I'll tell him I need time to see my friends."

"Or else what?"

"Or else… I won't take him back."

"But you're the one who wants to get back with him, not—"

"It's gonna work!" LA nodded firmly. "Sure, we fight, we have our little tiffs, but Gavin always comes back. We always work things out."

"Define work things out."

LA frowned. "I tell him what I want, he tells me what he wants, and—"

"You just do whatever he wants to get him back, don't you?"

"Hey! Fuck off!" LA scowled angrily. "Stop talking to me like you know me."

"But I do," Cass said, holding up his paw. "I'm an imp of strength and fortitude, and I can see that you're hurting. Your confidence has been depleted and you use anger to deflect. You're vulnerable and that makes you feel weak, so you lash out and lose your temper instead of trying to address what's really bothering you."

"That sounds like an utter load of bullshit."

"What you have to realize is that you're strong. Your inner strength is still there." Cass offered an encouraging smile. "Once you can conquer your self-doubt or fear or whatever it is that's holding you back, you'll be able to heal and move forward with your life."

"You sound like a fucking fortune cookie."

"Well, I am very sweet and full of wisdom, so yes!" Cass beamed. "A fortune cookie is pretty fitting actually. Thank you, Elly."

"LA."

"That's what I said." Cass cleared his throat and the notepad and pen reappeared in his paws. "And sometimes moving forward means letting go of certain things. A pair of pants that you don't wear because it has a bunch of holes in the crotch, some shoes that maybe you could donate because they're just a lil' worn…" He dropped his voice to a mumble. "...Boyfriends who don't respect you and your time or feelings." He grinned. "You know! Stuff like that!"

LA snorted out a little laugh. "Yeah, I'm not throwing Gavin out."

"Are we sure? Like really sure?"

"Yes, we are."

The front door swung open.

"Fuck!" LA stood too fast, pain shot down his leg, and he fell onto the floor.

"Wow." Gavin snorted out a cruel laugh as he strolled in. "Already drunk? Typical."

"Gavin?" LA flailed to pull himself up to his knees, eyes wide. "Don't, don't look! Just, just fucking go!"

"Like I haven't seen you wasted before."

LA swung his head between Gavin and Cass, eyes wide as he gawked. He couldn't believe Gavin wasn't screaming bloody murder right now. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

Gavin didn't seem to notice the absolutely giant monster standing a few feet away from him, shaking a set of keys "Returning your keys, asshole. I didn't see the point in waiting."

LA stared at Gavin and then over at Cass. "Can he not…?"

"See me?" Cass laughed. "Oh, no. Not unless I want him to, and—"

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" Gavin snapped. "Is someone else here?"

"And I really do not want him to." Cass scowled and crossed his arms.

Gavin whipped around, eyes scanning every corner. "Wow, didn't take you long, did it? Already got yourself a new guy?"

"What? No!" LA sputtered as he scrambled to his feet. "There's no one here."

"Couldn't be bothered to have lunch with my parents, but sure, you made time for a new piece of dick."

"There is no one here," LA said more firmly. "You can check if you'd like!"

"No, I'm good." Gavin dropped the keys on the coffee table. "Really can't stand to see who you thought was good enough after a couple of rum and cokes and scrolling on Grindr. You really are so desperate for affection once you've had a few."

LA's temper flared.

Cass clicked his tongue. "So, we'll be adding condescending to the list."

"Fuck you," LA snapped.

Gavin's smug smile dropped. "Excuse me?"

Cass cringed.

LA groaned. "No, I wasn't talking—"

"Have you lost your mind?" Gavin scoffed. "Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me like that?"

"It wasn't you!" LA spat.

Cass tried to make himself small, which was hilarious considering how large he was and that it didn't matter since Gavin couldn't see him.

"Right, it's your little fuck boy, huh?" Gavin burst into the kitchen. "Where is he at? Where is he hiding?"

LA groaned and sat back on the couch, holding his face in his hands while Gavin ran around the kitchen looking for someone who didn't exist. This was utter insanity, but pretty on par with Gavin's usual rants. "There isn't anybody here, Gav. Come on."

"Please, I already know you've cheated on me," Gavin snapped as he stormed back into the living room.

"What? When?" LA scoffed. "When would I even have time?"

"That guy I saw you hugging!"

LA's brain scrambled briefly. "Wait, Mr. Perez? The man who had just lost his wife?"

"Yes! I saw him kiss you!" Gavin glared. "Bet you were a real nice way to get over his grief, huh?"

"You're insane." LA rolled his eyes. "That was last year! He kissed me on the cheek and he was crying—"

"On the mouth!" Gavin snarled. "It was on the fucking mouth, you stupid slut! And I know you've been fucking that removal partner of yours too! Oh sure, someone just happens to die in the middle of the night and you have to go get them right then?"

"Yes. Yes, because that's literally the job," LA drawled. "People die all the time, Gav. Please believe that when I am dragging someone off the toilet at two in the morning, I am not thinking about sex. I have never cheated on you. Not fucking ever."

"Fuck you, you're pathetic."

" What ?"

"I hope whoever he is really enjoys a sloppy fuck," Gavin taunted. "Maybe your fucking crying will be a big turn on. You're a fucking mess. No one is ever gonna put up with your stupid bullshit, you little bitch."

"And who's gonna put up with yours?" LA barked back, his temper flaring. "Huh? Aw, who's gonna be there to tell you how great you are and how fucking awesome you are in bed to prop up your poor limp dick of a fuckin' ego? Oh, and it's not your fault your mommy and daddy split up? When, let's be real, it probably was because you make everyone around you fucking miserable !"

Gavin flinched and his eyes grew damp.

LA glared.

"Okay, oof, let's take this back a notch," Cass whispered hurriedly.

LA realized everything he'd said and his rage wilted. He tried to get back up and reach for Gavin, saying earnestly, "Fuck. Gavin, I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Enjoy dying alone, prick," Gavin said quietly as he headed to the door. "Don't bother texting me or trying to call. I'm blocking you."

"Gavin, wait—" LA made a face as the door slammed and one of the paintings fell off the wall. "Motherfucker."

"So!" Cass clapped his paws. "That went well. But not really."

"No fucking shit."