Chapter Three

Seventeen years old

I landed a hard punch in Maximus’ stomach. He grunted and tried to land a hit in turn but I blocked his side jab. We’d been training together for years and knew each other well. Maximus was one of the few guys who were almost my height. Fighting him actually sometimes proved a challenge, which was nice.

“Training’s over,” Dad shouted as he stepped into the Famiglia gym. Maximus and I stopped and exchanged a confused look. Dad sounded majorly pissed.

Maximus’ cocked one dark brow as he grabbed the towel draped over his corner. “What did you do?” He and I had sometimes been mistaken for brothers because we both had black hair, but while my eyes were gray like my father’s, Maximus had inherited the amber eyes of his. I was a year older than him and we’d been best friends for a decade. In the past Primo, Maximus younger brother, had joined us most of the time, but now he had his own group of friends.

I shrugged. The list of possible mess-ups was too long to pick one. His father Growl got up from the bench-press, gave my dad a nod in greeting, and motioned Maximus to come over to him. Maximus climbed out of the boxing ring and jogged over to his father while I moved toward mine.

“We need to talk,” Dad said, his expression pinched. What had I done now?

I followed him into the locker room. Uncle Matteo was already there, which meant this was a Famiglia matter and not a simple family mess up, and when he didn’t greet me with his usual wink and smirk, I knew I was doomed. Dad motioned for one of his soldiers to give us privacy. The man didn’t hesitate.

I grabbed a fresh towel from the shelf against the wall and rubbed my bare chest.

“Antonaci called me today.”

Cressida’s last name was Antonaci and my only connection to him. I kept my face neutral. I wasn’t going to admit to anything, in case this was another matter after all.

Dad crossed his arms as he leaned against the lockers. The scowl he was giving me would have sent many into a nervous breakdown. Matteo gave me a look that suggested I should write down my last wish before he went over to a small mirror to check whether his hairstyle was okay. I almost rolled my eyes. I was vain to a certain degree, but Matteo always looked like he’d fallen out of an issue of the Vogue.

“He told me about you and Cressida.”

Fuck.

“There’s no Cressida and me,” I said immediately. It was the truth. Cressida and I were nothing. What had happened was over. It had hardly been anything worth mentioning to begin with.

“No?” Dad asked in a deadly voice. His body language suggested he had trouble staying where he was. “So you didn’t sleep with the girl?”

I didn’t say anything. Some of my decisions of the past had been unfortunate, driven by barely restrained anger. I could still feel it simmer under my skin dangerously.

Dad raised his eyebrows, not happy with my reply.

“A real gentleman never tells.”

Dad rammed his fist against the locker, his expression burning with rage. I tensed. The rattling of the locker could probably be heard down the street.

“I swear I’ll beat every goddamn word out of you if you don’t open your mouth now.”

“We had sex, a few times. End of story.”

Dad stalked toward me as if he had every intention of breaking my neck. I didn’t back away. I’d encountered Dad’s wrath before, though never quite as potent as right now, and was too hardened to be overly bothered by it. He grabbed my shoulders in a bruising grip, bringing us nose to nose. His hot breath hit me. “And you call yourself a gentleman?”

“It’s not like you didn’t fuck other women before you married Mom. You and Matteo fucked every woman that crossed your path from what I hear.”

“Careful,” Dad snarled, his fingers tightening even more.

Matteo clucked his tongue. “Your dad and I had enough blood left in our horny brains to pick only outsiders to fuck.”

Dad shoved me away and punched another locker, leaving a dent, before he faced Matteo. “I can’t even look at him. I really want to kill him.”

“I had sex with her, consensual. I didn’t push her to have sex, so stop overreacting.”

Dad was on me before I knew what was going on. I blamed my lowered guards around my family. With anyone else I wouldn’t have been caught off guard. He thrust me against the locker. The back of my head smashed against the metal, making my ears ring.

My muscles tautened, wanting to retribute like I was used to, but I forced down my body’s overwhelming need to act. This was my father and Capo.

Dad’s eyes looked unhinged. “If you’d raped her, we would have a very different conversation, son.”

I kept my mouth shut. My sister Marcella always accused me of being rash but I knew when to stay silent, at least sometimes.

“She’s an honorable Italian woman, the daughter of one of my Captains, and you fucking take her virginity.”

“Fucking indeed.” I countered. “Trust me, she didn’t act honorable at all. And the way she threw herself at me, I really wouldn’t call it taking. She practically begged me to relieve her of that burden.”

Dad glanced at Matteo, and motioned him to take his place. Matteo stepped forward and took Dad’s place who turned his back to me.

“Have you had too many hits to the head over the years, or are you playing dumb on purpose?” Matteo asked with a harsh smile.

Dad’s shoulder muscles flexed under his white T-shirt and his hands were balled into fists.

“Her family isn’t amused in the slightest. The girl definitely made it sound as if you promised her the world and she practically couldn’t say no.”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s bullshit. I didn’t promise her anything.” She’d simpered about how she’d love to see me again and how our families would be so great together. I’d ignored her words and showed her how to suck dick properly so she’d shut the fuck up.

“Why did you do it?” Dad asked in a very low voice, turning to me once more. Mom’s expression would have reflected disappointment in such a case but Dad was furious.

“It was to prove a point.”

“And what point would that be?”

“That she had no right to judge Marci. She called her a slut.”

“You acted like a fucking idiot. You should have thought about the consequences,” Matteo muttered.

“Give her father money and more soldiers, I’m sure he’ll take it gladly.”

Matteo chuckled. Dad didn’t look amused and his answering smile was predatory. “There’s only one thing he’ll accept as compensation. Marriage.”

It took a moment for me to understand what Dad meant. I laughed. “Right.”

Dad shook his head as if he didn’t know me. “This isn’t a joke. I told him I’d consider a marriage between you and Cressida.”

My face fell. “You can’t be serious. No way in hell am I going to marry that bitch.”

Dad hit the locker again. It was the third one he’d dented so badly, I doubted anyone would get their stuff out of it ever again. “The Antonacis are well connected among the Traditionalists. I abolished the goddamn bloody sheets which caused an uproar and almost a revolt. Do you realize what would happen if I allowed you to dishonor a Captain’s daughter without you putting a ring on her finger?”

“So what? We’ll make a bloody statement and force them to follow our command. We’re Vitiellos, we don’t bow to anyone’s whims.”

“You want me to kill loyal men, the core of our Famiglia, because you couldn’t keep it in your pants? I’ve been way too lenient with you. For once you’ll have to carry the burden of your actions.”

I had underestimated Cressida and her ambition. I’d wanted to make her eat her words. But she’d turned things around, and now I was stuck with her.

“There has to be a way around it,” I muttered.

Dad took a deep breath, running his hand through his dark hair. “The Traditionalists feel cheated as it is. Marcella’s bond with a biker, the bloody sheets, and our bond with the Camorra, they were a lot to stomach for them. This would be the tipping point. I won’t weaken the Famiglia with a bloody statement only because you can’t stand your future bride. Cressida will be your wife. You have years to get used to the idea, and you fucking will, or I swear you’ll feel my full wrath.”

I glowered at my father. “Yes, Capo.”

On our way home, we didn’t speak. I was trying to figure a way out of the mess. Like Dad had said, I still had years before I had to marry. Until then I’d have to find a fucking solution out of this. The idea of being with Cressida for the rest of my life was too harsh a punishment for a few lousy fucks.

When we entered our mansion in the Upper East Side, Mom was in the living room with Valerio, helping him with his homework. One look at her face told me she knew what was going on.

Dad motioned at Valerio to leave. He grumbled but obeyed. “You’re in big trouble,” he muttered as he passed me.

Thanks for the heads up… I tried to ruffle his unruly blond hair but he dodged the attempt. His reflexes were getting better.

Mom wrung her hands as Dad headed her way. He kissed her briefly and they exchanged a few quiet words. Mom nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t happy.

Mom barely reached Dad’s chest, but she was his rock nonetheless. She stood by his side and his decisions, even if she disapproved of them. At least in front of others, even us kids, it had always been like that.

She would never contradict Dad’s decision but her face when she looked at me spoke of her concern. She was worried for me. She’d always wanted me to marry for love.

Dad shook his head once more, then headed out, obviously still too pissed to be in a room with me for long. Mom followed him with her eyes before she looked at me once more. She let out a quiet sigh and headed toward me. Stopping in front of me, she touched my cheek, peering up at me with worry-clouded eyes. “Will you be okay?”

“With marrying Cressida?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. I always knew I’d marry for tactical purposes, not love,” I lied. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to use her as a way out of this. She was the only force on this planet that could change Dad’s mind if he was hellbent on something, but I admired their marriage too much to drive a wedge between them. “Love is for dreamers or weaklings. I’m neither.”

“Your father is many things but not a dreamer or weakling.”

“Dad’s the exception to the rule. Your story isn’t the norm, Mom. Many married couples barely tolerate each other’s presence. That’s what I can look forward to with Cressida. With a little luck, she’ll hate me enough a couple of years into our marriage to punish me with silence, then I won’t have to talk to her.”

Mom regarded me quietly. I could see that she was wondering where the boy had gone that she’d raised. She almost looked at me as if I might be an impostor, or as if the boy was still inside somewhere. Truth be told, I was pretty sure the easy-going boy had been the impostor in the first place. Given Dad’s genes anything else would have been a big ass surprise.

Mom still worried about my emotional well-being. If she could look inside of me, she’d know that nothing could hurt my feelings or break my heart. Marcella’s kidnapping and the aftermath had hardened me, had turned me into who I needed to be to become who I was destined to be. My grandfather had shaped Dad into the hardened man who ruled over the Famiglia with an iron fist. Dad hadn’t done the same to me out of love for Mom. What he had been too weak to do, the bikers who’d kidnapped my sister had accomplished.

I’d enjoyed the carnage. It ran in my blood. Maybe I’d only held it back in the past because of Mom. I patted Mom’s shoulder when she didn’t stop looking at me with worry-clouded eyes. “I’ll be fine, Mom. I don’t need love.”

I went up to my room but Marcella was already inside, browsing through a magazine, high-heeled feet crossed at the ankles. I had suspected that she’d be over to dinner today because Maddox was out on a run hunting his former biker buddies. Her dark hair was brushed back, revealing her maimed ear, which still made my blood boil even if my father and I had taken vicious revenge on many bikers.

Marcella looked up and shook her head. “I told you to stay away from Cressida.”

I closed the door, crossed the room over to my desk and sank down on the chair. My phone beeped with another message. I put it down on the desk. I’d reply to Maximus’ messages later. “I did it for you. To pay her back for talking shit about you.”

Her blue eyes narrowed. “And I told you that you’d get yourself in trouble. You realize she’s probably gloating like crazy right now because she’ll be your wife, a future Capo’s wife. Paying with her virginity for it was a small price for a lifetime of everyone worshipping the ground she walks on. If I think about it, thanks to you I’ll now have to be nice to her, so you really did me disservice, not just yourself.”

I gave her an annoyed look. I knew I’d fucked up. Marrying Cressida was at the top of things I loathed to do. I didn’t want her at my side. She was already acting like royalty because her father was Captain. I could only imagine how much worse she’d treat everyone around her as soon as she had my ring on her finger.

“It’s too late now. Dad made it very clear I have no say in the matter. I need to marry her to keep the Famiglia happy. My actions were too dishonorable apparently.”

Marcella shrugged. “Dishonorable, I don’t know. I assume Cressida more than happily jumped into bed with you.”

“She did. No convincing necessary.”

“Then it’s her problem that she lost her V card before marriage. But your actions still were stupid. There’s a reason why most Made Men sleep with Outsiders before marriage to avoid this mess.”

The thought of being stuck with her was horrid. I supposed we’d just have a marriage on paper. “Marrying Cressida has its advantages. I don’t give a fuck about her feelings so I can keep fucking whoever I want even when we’re married.”

Marcella sighed. “You’re going to make an even worse mess, I can feel it deep down.”

“Says the girl who brought a biker home with her.”

She got up and punched my shoulder. But she knew I was right. Nothing I could do could possibly cause a bigger scandal than the one she had caused.

A month later our families met for dinner to finalize the details of our bond. Marcella had found a feeble excuse not to be present. I wished I could have done the same. She was probably banging Maddox on his bike while I had to bear Cressida’s smug face.

After dinner, I got up with a forced smile. “I’d like to show Cressida around.”

Her mother pursed her lips with overdone worry. “You’re not even engaged yet.”

Her father didn’t seem quite as concerned about me being alone with Cressida. I’d already popped her cherry, which was why we were here in the first place. He nodded benevolently, almost making me punch him. Cressida got up with a played shy smile. She put her hand on my arm and giggled as I led her out. I didn’t speak until we reached the library, then I dropped my arm and the chivalrous act.

“Amo, what’s the matter?” she asked as if she didn’t know it.

“Cut the act. You know I can’t stand you. Do you really want to base a marriage on that?”

Cressida shrugged. “I don’t care. You’ll change your mind about me once you get to know me better.”

I seriously doubted it. She’d talked shit about my sister in one of the hardest times of my sister’s life. She treated everyone she deemed less like shit and she was conceited as fuck. “Find a guy who buys into your bullshit and who worships the ground you walk on because that’s not going to be me.”

Her expression pinched but then she smiled sweetly and came closer, touched my chest.

“I gave you a gift, my virginity, doesn’t that count for something?”

“I’d give it back if I could,” I growled. I didn’t care if saying it was dishonorable too. I was a Made Man, not a British gentleman.

She flushed. “But you can’t. You dishonored me. You’re lucky nobody but my family knows yet. It would cast a bad light on you.”

“And you,” I said. But she had a point. While it wouldn’t ruin me, it would stir up a lot of bad blood and would make many Traditionalists demand that I didn’t become Capo.

She pressed up to me again, her lower lip jutting out. “Don’t be like that, Amo. I know we’ll have fun.” I gritted my teeth. She sank down to her knees right in the library and pulled down my fly. I shook my head, unable to believe she was going to blow me with our families down the hall. I was all for interesting places but not when my mother could potentially walk in.

She pulled my cock out, which was hardening despite my dislike of her. She giggled again and licked her lips.

My annoyance won over my hormones and I grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. Confusion flickered across her face. “You can’t expect me to dishonor you again.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.

She shrugged as I shoved my cock back into my pants and pulled up my fly.

“Your loss.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Cressida, I didn’t say I’d become a monk. That I won’t touch you until we’re married because I don’t see a fucking reason why, doesn’t mean I won’t fuck all the other women that throw themselves at me.”

“I could do the same, you know? Let other guys have me.”

I didn’t say anything, only looked at her daringly. She’d make me the greatest fucking gift of all time if she let a guy fuck her before I officially put my ring on her. Then I’d be free of her.