Chapter Nine

Jonah

I carry my bride the rest of the way home through the trees. I allow the nature around us to calm me, enjoying the feeling of finally having Autumn in my arms. I will return to get my truck later. Now, I want to tend to her and fuck her again if she will allow me. I wasn't expecting her to enjoy our interlude in the forest quite so much, but I have no idea how she will react once she wakes up. I know I wasn't gentle with her and I'm afraid she'll react badly to the entire experience even though I know she loved it just as much as I did. She may be livid once she wakes up. And I need to be there to comfort her.

I lay her in the center of my bed and watch her sleep for the longest moment, simply taking in her beauty before heading to the bathroom for a wet cloth.

I clean her knees, elbows, and palms of all the dirt and dust. I won't clean my cum from between her legs, simply because I like watching it drip out of her. Taking a seat beside our bed I continue to caress her skin with my gaze. I can't believe I finally have the woman I have craved and coveted for more than a year.

Autumn's lashes flutter as she slowly wakes up. Her gaze bounces around the room before settling on my hulking frame.

It takes a moment for her to remember what has transpired today. I see the instant the realization hits and she skitters away from me, pressing her back against the headboard of our four-poster bed and pulling her knees against her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible. Pulling as far away from me as she can.

The scent of her fear peppers the air leaving an acrid stench, and if I were a lesser Alpha I know I would have jumped on her. But I am stronger than my urges. Years of military training have helped me become my own master, and I know whatever I do next will set the tone for the rest of our marriage.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I say softly, doing my best to reassure her even though my actions have been contrary to my words.

Autumn huffs, glaring at me.

"Fine," I say, trying to hide my smile. "What happened earlier wasn't ideal, I'll admit that much. And I am sorry for how it went down but it's done now."

"But you're not sorry it happened? And now you want me to simply forgive you?" she asks with raised brows.

"No. You are right to be mad about that. I do want to start over."

"How do you think that will work?"

"You can take a bath, get dressed in some clean clothes, and I'll make us some dinner," I explained. "We can talk and get to know one another."

"I'm not sure I want to know you," she replies slowly, looking away.

"That's your choice to make." Standing, I make my way out of the bedroom. "But we are married now and you're going to be spending all your nights in this house, in our bed with me, so it might be a good idea to try."

Everything was going so well earlier. She chose me, she chose to be here, and my baser urges may have fucked it all up. I can't go back and undo i t— not that I woul d— but I can do my best going forward.

****

Autumn

Jonah leaves me alone in the bedroom that is saturated by his scent. My heart and mind are filled with conflicting emotions. I want to believe his words, his apology. I know Alphas aren't always in control of their baser urges. But I am flooded with shame at the way my body reacted during his assault. How could I enjoy such an invasion of my body?

My emotions and thoughts war with each other, sending a frisson of anger through me.

The fact that I can still feel his seed spilling out of me as I walk to the bathroom doesn't help to alleviate the humiliation swimming through my veins. I feel dirty and used. But satisfied. Adding more confusion to the already building frustration inside me.

The bathroom is small but clean. Brilliant white tiles cover the floor and the wall. A shower stall, bath, and small cabinet with a basin. Opening the warm water, I allow the bath to fill while I undress. My knees are dirty even though I can tell my new husband tried to clean me up and new bruises are already blooming on my hips as I stare at myself in the mirror. I don't look at my face, I can't stand the thought of seeing myself fully.

Turning, I lower myself into the scalding water. I don't luxuriate. No, I scrub at my arms, legs, breasts, trying to scrub what happened from my body. The memories will never leave me, I know that much.

The fear, the exhilaration, the arousal.

The way my body betrayed me, the wanton moans falling from my lips.

If a stranger had happened upon us in the forest, in that moment, they would never have suspected I didn't want to be fucked like a bitch in heat. They would have seen passion, they would have heard grunts and groans, they would have heard me begging. But no one would have thought I was there against my will.

But then again, I wasn't. Jonah is my husband and I wanted to fuck him, let him claim me. It's just how it happened that I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around.

The water cools while I sit and reminisce and berate. I fight an internal battle in the little bathroom, wrestling with my mind as I try to find some way to move forward with everything that has happened in the span of less than a day.

I have auctioned myself off in front of a room of Alphas, married a man I don't know, had my first kiss and my first sexual experience, and now I am in my new home. I can fight him at every turn, try to make his life a living hell. But I have a feeling my husband would relish the challenge. And the way my body will likely constantly betray me means that plan is shit.

I could, on the other hand, give whatever this is a chance. I can allow him to show me who he truly is when he isn't chasing me through the forest and fucking me raw. And I can finally discover who I am without my father hanging over me and judging everything I do and say.

Neither plan offers me much comfort but what it comes down to in the end is whether my husband will keep his promise or not. The rest, I can live with. Or at least learn to accept.