Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Isla

I hugged Butcher as we got onto the plane. It was over. Mostly. Randal was dead, a splattered mess on the sidewalk, thanks to Butcher. Evan Danners was dead. Theoretically, there shouldn't be anyone coming after either of us anymore. We were all silent as the captain went through his spiel and got us into the air. We'd determined that Danners was the Heliaz Relay guy from the village. We'd let Riptide dig into what all this was about. We really didn't care anymore.

My eyes landed on Toxic, then drifted over to Butcher. If anyone had told me that in mere weeks I'd have met, and fallen in love, with a man I'd have laughed and told them they were crazy. Yet, here I was. And what was even more shocking was that he loved me too. The goofy smile I was wearing disappeared as I thought about it.

He loved me. But my deal with his club was over now. Dread overpowered the happiness that had nearly had me bursting. All it would take would be Lockout saying the word and I'd have to leave. My eyes darted between the two men again as they laughed and joked with each other.

Butcher had offered to leave with me once before, when we'd made the deal for me to stay so I could help them take care of this threat. Now that we loved one another, I had no doubt that he would go with me if I was forced to leave the club, that is, if I asked him. And what other outcome was there? People never wanted me around long-term. My own mother had abandoned me. My grandmother had died to escape living with me. I swallowed hard and looked down at where my hands were clenched together on my lap.

I couldn't let Butcher leave his family. He'd found them fair and square and he deserved to keep them in his life. He could find another woman to love, but he couldn't replace all of those friendships. I knew just how hard they were to come by. I couldn't ask that of him.

Toxic's leg shot out and he kicked Butcher.

Looking up, I frowned as I watched Toxic's eyes widen then dart toward me. Butcher tilted his head, a silent question written on his face. Toxic nodded at whatever question Butcher was asking him. It was a strange form of non-verbal communication. It wasn't the first time I'd seen them do this, though I wasn't fully sure what was going on.

"What's wrong?" Butcher asked me.

My eyes narrowed on him, then slid over to Toxic. "Nothing."

Butcher also looked over at Toxic, who tried to nonchalantly shake his head. "You're frowning," Butcher insisted.

The lightbulb went on. Butcher wasn't very good at reading social cues, not that I was great at it myself, and Toxic was helping him to understand that he needed to check in on me. "I'm just worried about Heliaz Relay, I guess," I lied. Well, it wasn't totally a lie. I was worried that the rest of the board members would find out what happened to Danners and decide to come after us again.

"Don't worry about them," Butcher told me, reaching out to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. That hadn't been prompted by Toxic, so I knew it was something he just wanted to do. It made my heart skip a beat. "Gail is taking care of that for us. She'll contact our former higher ups and they'll explain to Heliaz Relay that we aren't worth pursuing."

"What if they don't listen?" I asked.

"Then they'll die, too," he said with a shrug.

That was easy for him to say. He'd have his brothers there to watch his back. After this plane ride it was going to go back to just me and Ms. Murder Mittens. My heart sank. She was going to be so upset. She'd already bonded with Butcher. I caught him feeding her some of her favorite treats right before we left.

Butcher shot Toxic an expectant look, and I had to hold back the laugh when Toxic shot him a discrete thumbs up.

They left me alone after that, thankfully. I fully planned to tell Butcher about this, but only once we got back to the clubhouse. I didn't want the others listening in while I bared my damn soul. It was hard enough to do for him. The men kicked back, dozing, while I continued to overanalyze and worry the rest of the flight home.

"Welcome home!"

Kit's warm words and hug nearly had me breaking down into sobs. I wasn't usually a crier. But it was sinking in, now that we were back at the clubhouse, that this was coming to an end. I wouldn't be able to hang out with the women, or teach the children any new moves, or help the men take out enemies.

Murder purred and rubbed against my legs. Breaking off the hug, I reached down and picked her up. "Hi, Ms. Mittens," I said, hugging her close. Looking over, I frowned at Auron and Jecht, who were sitting like the best-behaved dogs on the planet, both giving me doggy versions of grins.

"They're friends now," Seek said with a shrug and smile.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"There may have been an intervention with the three of them while you were gone," she admitted with a secretive smile .

My eyebrows shot up at that. "I would have liked to have seen that."

"Oh Sweetie," Sloane said, interrupting whatever Seek had been about to say. She reached out and lightly touched the deep bruises on my neck. "That looks like it hurts."

It did, but I wasn't about to admit it out loud. "It's okay."

"I have some cream that will help with the pain. I'll be right back." She hurried off before I had the chance to say anything.

Her kindness and the other women circling around me, checking in on me and welcoming me home made tears spring to my eyes. "Excuse me," I told them, clutching Murder so hard to my chest she yowled in displeasure. I all but ran away from them and up the stairs. I didn't stop until I was in Butcher's new apartment.

I set my cat down and flopped into one of the dining room chairs, covering my face with my hands. What was wrong with me? I needed to get some damn pride and make this easy for Butcher by walking away dry eyed. I didn't want to make him feel as though he owed me anything. He didn't. I was just some girl who'd tried to kill him—and fucked him instead.

The sound of the door opening and shutting made me quickly wipe a stray tear from my cheek and look up.

Butcher was frowning as he walked toward me. "What happened? What did the women say?"

"Nothing," I told him with a shake of my head. "They're amazing."

He looked at me with even more confusion. "Then why are you up here? Looking...upset?" he guessed.

I would have laughed if it wasn't time to have this stupid talk. "You have such a great family here, Butcher."

"I do."

"They need you."

He just blinked at me, waiting for me to get to my point.

"I'm leaving."

"Why?" he gritted out, looking angry.

"Lockout isn't going to let me stay here, Butcher. I'm an assassin. And I tried to kill you. "

He gave me a dumbfounded look. "Pretty sure everyone's over that by now."

"Sure, for a short time, while I helped you find even more dangerous threats to your family. But no one is going to want me to stay long-term."

"I want you to stay," he insisted.

I smiled and walked over to him. Wrapping my arms around him, I breathed in the scent of leather and his cologne. "I love you. So much that I have to let you go."

"That makes no fucking sense, Isla," he growled. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me far enough away that he could look down into my face. He gave me a little shake when I didn't respond. "Make some kind of fucking sense, Woman."

I shook my head. "You belong here, Butcher. I don't. It's as simple as that."

"You don't want to stay?"

God. I wanted that more than anything.

He must have seen the intense desire on my face. "Then fucking stay. I don't see the problem here." He let go of me to rake a hand through his hair. "Is this some subtle bullshit I'm not picking up on? Help me out here, Isla."

"I made a deal with the president of your club," I told him. "That deal is now done and I'm honor bound to leave and never cause trouble for any of you again."

His mouth was hanging open. "You-" He didn't seem to know what to say. "Honor bound?"

I nodded.

"Who gives a fuck about that?"

My eyes narrowed. "I do, Butcher. I couldn't compromise my morals enough to kill a man who seemed to be a good person beneath a gruff exterior."

"Not sure I'd go so far as to call me a good person," he grunted.

"I think you are."

"And it doesn't matter that I fucking love you?" he asked .

"It matters," I whispered. "More than you'll ever know. You're the only one who does."

"That's bullshit," he snapped. "If I go downstairs and take a fucking poll I guarantee you every woman down there will say they love you."

"They don't even know me."

"They know enough," he shot back.

"This is hard enough as it is," I told him. "Don't make it harder."

"Why the fuck wouldn't I?" He asked, perplexed. "My goal is to make you see that I want you here."

"I know you do," I told him. "But you don't run this club."

"Fine," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then I'm going with you."

"No."

"No?" he repeated.

I shook my head. "You belong here, remember?"

"And you belong with me."

I swallowed, but the tears escaped my eyes anyway. I leaned up on my tip toes and brushed my lips over his. "I love you too much to ask you to leave." Cupping his cheek, I gave him a wavering smile. "This family is too important to leave it."

I couldn't take much more. It was either burst out into sobs in front of him or get busy packing. I chose the latter.