Chapter 17

Bryce's hands shook as he drove home the next morning. He was glad they hadn't gotten another call after returning from the warehouse fire. He wasn't scheduled to work at Nathan's that day, and he didn't want to spend all day and night by himself. He needed a friend, someone who might understand the tangled feelings inside him, those that said he wanted Matt and Toby back and those that were still terrified of what that would mean. He'd rebuffed every attempt of Mason's to talk about what had happened and put up with censorious looks from Jack and Gray. Now it was time to eat crow and call on them for advice, because no way in hell could he see Matt and Toby again and pretend he didn't care about them.

He pulled out his phone and typed a message to Mason.

You guys free tonight?

Yes, Mason answered a few seconds later.

Dinner? Need to talk.

7:00 at Undertow?

Perfect.

Bryce spent most of the day sleeping with Rollo curled next to him. At five thirty, he finally got out of bed, went for a long run with the dog, and then headed to Undertow, a gastropub not far from Nathan's. Several nights of the week they had guest chefs offering a variety of cuisines like Ethiopian and Cuban. Tonight was Thai. Undertow wasn't specifically a gay bar, but it was gay friendly. The sign for the below-street-level establishment said, "Undertow, we'll suck you right down".

He found a parking spot in the lot across the street a few cars down from Gray's Expedition. His heart beat much too fast as he crossed the street and started down the steps to the entrance. Why was he so fucking nervous?

Because you're about to announce that you're in love, and you want to rearrange your life for a relationship, a three-way relationship.

But these guys have all done the same thing, at least to some extent.

They're going to rag on you after all the protesting you did.

Yeah but they care; I know they do.

Mason was probably the best friend he had in Durham, and for all the ways they might irritate him, Jack and Gray were good men too. Bryce hadn't spent as much time as he should getting to know them. For a long while, he hadn't been sure Gray would permit it. Mason assured him Gray was much softer than he seemed, just overprotective. That might be true, but Bryce was sure that if he hurt someone Gray cared for, the man would be anything but soft on him.

The guys were already there when he arrived, seated in a corner booth toward the back of the room where it was typically quieter. There was a good crowd, but it wasn't oppressively busy like it often was on weekend nights.

"I got you a beer," Mason said as Bryce slid in beside him. "A Twisted River Wit."

"Great. Thanks." Mason knew that was one of Bryce's favorites, and simply remembering that Mason was the kind of friend who knew things like that about him put him at ease.

"I heard what happened at the Wraston warehouse. Is everyone okay?" Gray asked.

Bryce nodded. "Matt's going to be in a walking cast for a few weeks, but he'll be fine."

"You went in together?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, he was just ahead of me when the ceiling came down. We got separated, but I found him and got him out."

"It was close, though, from what I read in the paper," Mason said. He never liked it when Bryce downplayed how serious a situation was, be it firefighting or a relationship.

Jack shuddered, as if imagining the situation. "You didn't get hit?"

"Just on the shoulder, but I'm fine."

Mason raised a brow, and Bryce sighed. "I'm bruised and sore, but that's all. It should have been me, though, in front."

Gray shook his head. "No good can come of replaying your decisions. Everyone is fine, that's all that matters."

"Yeah, I guess." Once again, Gray shocked him with his calm understanding.

"No guessing. That's the truth. I've been there enough."

He looked from Jack to Gray. Jack had been shot several months ago when he tried to save Gray from a drug lord who was about to kill him. He'd nearly died. Gray was right. Matt was fine, and Bryce needed to let go of his guilt.

"I…" How the hell did he start this? "Y'all were right. I was an idiot to end things with Matt and Toby."

"Finally!" Jack beamed.

"Have you talked to them since the accident?"

"No, well, not really. I called to make sure Matt was okay and that Toby wasn't freaking out. He panicked and almost ran into the building while I was trying to get to Matt. He's still a mess, but he sounded steadier on the phone than he did when he headed to the hospital. Hopefully, he's better now."

"You need to call them again or just go the hell over there," Mason insisted.

"What should I say?" Bryce immediately regretted the question. He held up his hand as Jack opened his mouth to speak. "I'm sorry. It's not your job to tell me."

Mason laid a hand over Bryce's. "It's okay to ask for help. You're lucky enough to know an amazing threesome of guys ready to share their wisdom. You'd be an idiot—more of an idiot—not to use that resource."

Gray rolled his eyes. "Just say you were stupid, and now you've wised up and you're going to find a way to make this work."

"But they might not want?—"

"Bullshit!" Mason interrupted. "I've seen them with you. They want you, and you all deserve the chance to make it work."

"We all have to make changes at work, and they've always worked together?—"

"Then they've always been wrong just like Jack and I were," Gray said. "Matt was fine this time and Toby stopped himself from going in, but what if that's not the case next time? What if one of you or someone else gets hurt because you're focused on each other instead of the job?"

Bryce knew Gray was right. He'd worried about the same thing for a long time. Despite that, anger at Gray and at himself, tightened his chest. "I'm not?—"

Mason touched his shoulder. "He knows what he's talking about. Because of Jack."

The anger and tension drained from Bryce then. Gray wasn't trying to make Bryce feel bad about hiding their relationship. He truly understood what could happen when a relationship clouded your judgment. Jack had come after him, determined to rescue him, even though it went against protocol. He'd realized Gray had walked into a trap, and instead of waiting for backup, he went in after him and almost died.

Bryce looked at Gray. "You're right. I need to say something to the chief either way, whether I get back together with Matt and Toby or not."

Gray nodded. "Yeah, you do. And trust me. I get it. I was scared to tell Jack and Mason that I was applying for the detective position. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I hid it because I didn't want to argue."

Bryce could imagine how hard it was for Gray to admit to being scared. "I'm terrified to talk to them. What if we can't do this long term? What if they regret it?"

"Whether you work things out or not, they're in a relationship and they need to be separated. Are you still thinking about becoming a fire marshal?" Gray asked.

Bryce nodded.

"Then you'll be making a change you want to make, and they'll have to make one anyway."

"I've only been here six months. Is this really the right time to change jobs again?"

"If you keep worrying over it, there's never going to be a right time," Jack said. "I kept telling myself it wasn't the right time for Gray and me to come out or for him to go for the promotion he deserved. Finally, when Gray took things into his own hands, I realized there would never have been a magically right time."

"It's going to be hard as fuck working out a relationship with two men, but it's worth it," Gray said.

"Aww. That's about the sweetest thing you've ever said, at least in public," Mason said, grinning at Gray. "He's right, you know. You'll regret not seeing where this could go more than you'll regret trying if things don't last forever."

Forever. Was he really thinking about forever? "Can I really have fallen for them so fast?"

Mason reached across the table and laid his hand over Gray's. "Yes."

Bryce loved how the three men showed their affection for each other. No one could doubt that they loved each other.

"So I should just call Matt and Toby and say ‘I was an idiot, let's get back together'?"

Jack nodded. "For once, Gray has some good advice."

Gray glared at him. "You'll pay for that."

"I hope so." Jack lowered his voice to a sexy purr.

"I've got another question," Bryce said. Heat rushed to Bryce's face. He hated asking for more advice.

"What is it?" Mason asked. "You can ask us anything. No need to be embarrassed."

Jack gave him a sly grin. "Yes, double penetration really works. It's not just for porn."

"Holy fuck, you did not just tell me that."

Gray gave Jack's arm a playful punch. "Quit scaring our friend."

"I'm not scared exactly, just… Wow. TMI."

"Ignore him and just ask us," Mason said.

"What's your secret? How do you stay together?"

"Talking. Lots of talking," Mason said.

Gray nodded. "If you're worried about something, you've got to talk to them about it even when you'd much rather ignore it. It's damn hard, and I still suck at it, but I'm learning. I hope." He glanced at his lovers and both of them beamed at him.

"He's right," Jack said. "With three of you, there's even more of a chance of misunderstanding or someone getting their feelings hurt."

"So I've got to call them, admit to being an idiot, and talk about all the things I've been avoiding? This fucking sucks."

Jack shook his head. "Just think about what it's like when you're together. Think about the feeling you get when you see them and remember that it's worth the pain and agony for that," Jack said.

Gray frowned. "He's big on mushy shit tonight. I'm not going to be able to eat if this keeps up."

Mason snorted. "As if. I'd like to see something that would actually take away your appetite."

Bryce laughed. He'd seen Gray eat plenty of times, and he doubted the man was going to push his plate away even if Jack sang him love songs right in the bar.

"Speaking of food, let's order," Gray said.

They did. Then they spent the next hour eating, drinking, and talking, not about Bryce and all the shit he was dealing with, but about the coming basketball season, the rivalry between cops and firefighters, and the amazing qualities of sweet tea and biscuits. Bryce realized he needed that kind of companionship as much as he needed what he had with Matt and Toby. After that hellish night in Atlanta, he'd closed himself off from friends as well as lovers, but after what happened in the warehouse with Matt, he'd been reminded that life was fragile. He had to quit punishing himself and start living.

"You going to be okay?" Mason asked as they exited the bar several hours later.

Bryce nodded. "Yeah."

"You going to call them?"

"In the morning."

Mason studied him carefully. "Don't put it off any longer than that."

"I won't. Matt needs to get a good night's sleep. I don't want to keep him from it, but I promise I'll call first thing tomorrow."

"Good, do that."

Bryce said good-bye too, feeling better than he had since he'd broken things off.