Chapter 15

Alittle more time turned into a week and then a month. The three of them spent as much time together as they could. Matt and Toby stayed over often and a few times, Bryce and Rollo stayed with them. Matt insisted they all go to a Durham Bulls game, and Toby foisted an afternoon of roller skating on them. Bryce hadn't been that sore in a long time.

Bryce was the best cook of the three of them, so he ended up making dinner a lot of nights, just basics like spaghetti and meatballs or enchiladas—he wasn't up to chef-quality meals but Matt and Toby seemed impressed.

The likelihood that someone at work was going to figure out what was going on grew every day they were together. Bryce sensed that they were barreling toward disaster, but he couldn't make himself jump off the wild ride. WT had to at least suspect something. They all acted different at work, didn't they? Bryce sure thought so. How could anyone be so damn oblivious that they didn't notice? He sucked at hiding anything, and Matt wasn't as good at it as he used to be. How much longer did they have before this exploded in their faces?

Bryce kept telling himself he'd bring the subject up, but he always made an excuse not to. He didn't want to wreck what had started to feel like paradise. The more time he spent with Matt and Toby, the more he realized how very much he cared for them. He still didn't let himself use the L word, but it hovered in the air, threatening him with all it meant. How much longer could he ignore it? He was ignoring so damn many things, he was going to lose track of something soon. But the thought of them all ending up on different shifts, rarely able to enjoy time together, made him sick to his stomach. Some nights he wished he'd never let himself get into this mess, and other nights he thought he'd do anything to keep things like they were, to keep Matt and Toby both in his bed, in his life.

Surely they were worth taking a risk for, worth stepping out of his comfort zone and making a career move. In the months before the horrible fire in Atlanta, he'd contemplated applying for an investigative position with the fire marshal's office. He'd been fascinated for years by all that went into discovering the cause of a fire, and he wanted to learn how to solve those puzzles and make sure no one got away with arson. He'd have to attend the police academy since the law required he be both a firefighter and a sworn law enforcement officer to investigate potential arson. It was a big step and a risk. He might not get a job if he applied and then he might not like it as much as he thought he would. When he'd decided to move, knowing he had to get away from Atlanta, he'd dropped the idea. Was he ready to consider it again?

He longed to talk it over with Toby and Matt, but he was too much of a fucking coward. He could talk about riding crops, dildos, and how hard they wanted to be spanked. But love and long-term commitment? Way too scary.

Then one day, a little more than a month after the night at Marlo's, the fragile little world they'd created fell in on itself.

Bryce stood at his locker after a shower, towel wrapped around his waist. He heard Matt coming out of the shower and couldn't resist glancing his way. Even now, after weeks of sleeping together, the sight of him nearly naked raised Bryce's pulse. No one else was around, so he didn't bother to hide his interest. Matt slapped his ass as he walked to his own locker. Even the straight guys did that to each other, so no one would've thought anything, even if someone had been there to see. Bryce dressed, stealing glances at Matt. When he pulled his phone from his locker, he brought up his text screen and wrote a message to Matt. Almost jumped you after your shower. Can't wait till tomorrow night. Going to make your ass ache.

He smiled to himself as he pressed Send. Just as the message went through, he realized he hadn't sent it to Matt. Sending it to Toby or even to Mason would have been okay, but no, he'd sent it to WT. "Fuck!"

Matt jumped at the loud, unexpected expletive. "What's wrong?"

He turned to Matt, unable to explain. His stomach was in a knot, and he felt warm and cold at the same time. He had to find WT right then and explain or apologize or something. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I fucked up. Big time. I'm so sorry. I…" He raced out of the room as he yanked his shirt over his head.

He found WT in the break room, staring at his phone. WT looked up when he entered the room. Bryce's heart thumped hard against his chest. "You got my text, didn't you?"

"Yeah and I'm hoping it was meant for some other dude, 'cause you're a good-looking guy, but you ain't turning me."

Bryce smiled, thrilled WT was able to laugh it off.

"Yeah, it was for someone else. Sorry about that."

Bryce had been certain WT would know exactly who it was meant for. Of course since he hadn't been in the locker room, he probably assumed it was someone Bryce saw come out of the shower early that morning, before work.

WT punched his arm. "Just don't do it again. You scared the shit out of me."

"I'll be more careful next time. Trust me. I may never send a dirty text again."

WT laughed. "I won't hold you to that as long as you don't send them to me."

Bryce forced himself to laugh too, trying his best to seem like he was casually brushing off the mistake, though he still felt sick to his stomach. What the hell had he been thinking letting things keep going with Toby and Matt? Tomorrow they were finally going to have the talk they should have had a month ago.

Matt walked into the break room a few moments later and sank into the chair next to Bryce. "You okay?"

Bryce nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just made a stupid mistake."

"Texted me instead of whatever guy he's banging," WT said.

Matt made a choked noise.

"Yeah, that was kind of my reaction too. Must be a pretty hot night he's planning."

"Knowing him, I bet it is," Toby added as he joined them, rescuing Matt, who didn't look like he could get out any words. They had to know the text was meant for one of them. Bryce wondered if they'd be pissed or scared. Whichever, they'd all needed the wake-up call. And they were lucky; it could have been much worse. Even if WT had guessed, he'd have given them time to get their shit together and come out on their own.

Bryce didn't talk to Toby and Matt during their shift other than to make the necessary comments to get their job done. Even when they weren't busy, they didn't have any privacy, at least not enough to risk discussing what had happened. He'd gotten away with his mistake; he wasn't about to risk their secret again. And he sure as hell wasn't going to text them an explanation.

When their shift ended the next morning, Bryce, Matt, and Toby headed to the parking lot together. They had all spent the night at Bryce's house, but Matt and Toby drove in together in Toby's truck. The other firefighters might assume they'd decided to carpool, but too many oddities, even if each was explainable, might raise suspicions.

"So what happened?" Matt asked as they stood by Toby's truck.

Bryce blew out a long breath. "I'll follow you home and tell you there."

Toby opened his door and hopped into the driver's seat. "Let's get going, then."

But Matt stayed where he was. "Why our place? Don't we need to let Rollo out?"

"I need to get some sleep before my shift at Nathan's, so I thought we could talk there and then I'll head home on my own." And I might be about to break up with you, and I don't want to have to kick you out of my house.

Bryce ran scenarios through his head as he drove. He'd tell them what happened first, that was the easy part, embarrassing but easy. After that, what could he say? That he couldn't do this anymore, couldn't hide? But honestly, even if they stopped seeing each other, they would still be compromised on the job. They had no business being in the same unit. He wasn't going to stop caring for them, and if he broke it off, there would be a hell of a lot of anger mixed into the strong feelings they already had. A very dangerous mix to bring into the field.

Fuck!This situation sucked. Why had he listened to his dick instead of his brain? That ain't got nothin' to do with what your dick wants. Gray's words echoed in his mind. He didn't want Gray to be right, but he was. Bryce was listening to his heart, and it was even harder to deny than his dick. Fuck, did that make him old? He'd never been this mushy gushy before, but leaving Matt and Toby wouldn't just be about giving up the great sex. Bryce could get laid easily enough. He could even find someone who'd be a match for what he needed if he put a little effort into it. But to find someone else who made him feel the way he did with Matt and Toby, to find someone he wanted to spend all his free time with, someone he wanted to snuggle up with, that wasn't going to happen.

He'd spent too much time working during his first years at AFRD to have time for more than casual hookups. Eventually, he'd managed a few short relationships. Maybe that was all he was meant to have. If someone had told him a year ago that he was going to fall for someone, much less two someones, he would've run as fast as he could. But he wasn't afraid of commitment now. He wanted to make it work, but they'd only been together for about six weeks. Was he really going to expect them to turn a short fling into a long-term commitment? He needed to think about what was best for Matt and Toby.

He parked behind Toby when he reached their apartment. His hands shook as he stepped out of his SUV. This wasn't going to go well, because he was going to do the right thing and let them go. How had he let himself get to this point?

It's called love, you asshole.

No, it's called fucking up.

You're so going to regret this.

I already do.

He forced himself to put one foot in front of the other. He could do this. He could go into their apartment and tell them things were over. A few steps from the door, he stopped, afraid he was about to lose the eggs and toast he'd wolfed down at the station. When he had his stomach under control, he stepped inside, not bothering to knock. They were long past that. "Hey!"

"We're in the kitchen," Matt called.

Despite the early hour, he longed to ask for a drink to fortify him for what he had to do.

"You look like hell!" Toby observed. "What happened?"

"I almost got us all caught. That's what." The words came out angry, though Bryce hadn't meant them to. "Sorry." He raked a hand through his hair.

Toby moved toward him, but Bryce backed away. If Toby touched him, he'd lose his resolve, and they'd probably all end up in bed.

"Matt walked out of the shower yesterday afternoon, and I couldn't stop staring. I meant to send him a text telling him what I had planned for tonight." Bryce paused, trying to pull his thoughts together and make himself go on.

Toby nodded, encouraging him. "And…"

"I sent it to WT."

"I figured that much out. What did he say?"

"He didn't connect it with either of you. Figured it was for some guy I'm seeing, someone random. But what if he'd been in the locker room too or he'd already had suspicions?"

"How the hell does he not?" Matt asked, the words bitter. "We suck at hiding it."

"You didn't use to," Bryce said. "It's me."

"No, it's all of us," Matt insisted.

"This isn't working," Bryce said.

The color drained from Toby's face. "Is it because we waited? Because we wouldn't talk about outing ourselves? We put too much pressure on you, and now?—"

Bryce held up a hand. "It's not just that. It's… so many things. I can't ignore that you two are a couple, but I can give you a little more time to get used to the idea of working different shifts or at different stations."

"We're a couple?" Matt asked, glaring at Bryce.

"Yeah, you and Toby. You deserve a chance to out yourselves, but you can't keep working together the same shift."

"But what about you?" Toby asked, his tone anguished.

"Like I said, this isn't working for me."

Matt looked at him like he was crazy. "You're breaking up with us? Seriously?"

Bryce snorted, hating himself as he did it. "Breaking up? That's a little dramatic, isn't it? I've enjoyed fucking you, but we can't keep this up."

"The fuck that's all this is," Matt yelled. He moved toward Bryce, and Bryce braced himself for a punch, which was less than he deserved. He was being an asshole, but if he didn't piss them off, they weren't going to let him go. It was better this way, better not to admit what he was feeling.

Toby laid a hand on Matt's arm. "It's going to be okay."

"The hell it is. You know." He jabbed a finger toward Bryce. "You know this is more than just fucking."

"I know it's been hot as hell, but it's over. I can't risk my job for you."

Matt showed shock and anger and something Bryce feared was disgust. "So now you're giving us an ultimatum. Confess or you'll rat us out."

Now Bryce was truly pissed. "No, it's not like that."

"Sure sounded like that to me."

Bryce exhaled sharply. "I'm asking you to come out."

"If we get caught, we'll keep you out of it," Toby insisted.

"It's not about that," Bryce said. "It's about keeping all of us safe on the job."

"The fuck it is," Matt yelled.

Toby ran a hand through his hair and twined a strand around his index finger. "Matt, you know he's right."

"You going to turn on me too?"

Bryce's gut clenched. God, he hated this. He wanted to pull Matt into his arms so he could comfort him, but that would only make things worse, wouldn't it?

Why don't you find out?

No!He'd started down this road and he wasn't turning back.

"No one is turning on you," Toby said.

"Shut up!" Matt turned toward Bryce. "Just get out of here if you're so tired of us."

"That's not?—"

"I think you'd better leave," Toby said. His voice was calm, but pain showed in his eyes. Bryce wondered if either of them could see that he was hurting too. Apparently not if they believed the bullshit he was saying to them. How the fuck were they going to work together now?

Bryce almost said he was sorry, but he realized it wouldn't help. He'd chosen to be an ass, and he had to see that through. Without another word, he turned and walked away. As he pulled out his keys, he realized he still had a key to their apartment. He should give it back, but he didn't want to. The thought of giving up that link to them was more than he could handle.