4. Charlie

4

Charlie

The wind blows through my thick black hair. I push my nose into it as I continue racing through the forest. The trails behind the Lodge are well-worn. I jump a log to take one that is a little more challenging in case Jackson decides to follow us.

The undergrowth has pushed in on either side, making it more of a small tunnel than a trail. It is a favorite for when I’m out with the pups. Also, large wolves really can’t fit down this trail, and if Jackson had any chance of following us, this one would throw him off.

My wolf fights for complete control but I hold steady. She’s still perplexed about why we are running from Jackson. I know why we ran—because the last thing I need is to get caught up in the White family drama.

Holly’s my best friend—crushing on any of the three brothers isn’t the right choice. I love her like a sister and would hate to ruin our relationship because I thought her brother was attractive. Add in that I’m a bought bride who’s technically still the property of Ax, Alpha of Umbra. Yeah, we don’t need to have any man.

I’m fine alone.

‘ We are fine alone ,’ I reiterate to my wolf.

Holly’s snow-white wolf saunters up next to me as we break out of the dense woods into the clearing near the Falls. Wildflowers litter this area. The Lupine stands taller than our wolves, and I take a moment to smell a purple flower as I press through the field.

As we approach the Falls, the sound of rushing water sends a sense of calm through my body. Back home, my brother and I would spend hours by a river. This place brings up those happy memories, an escape from the life I’ve been living. Ryan would’ve loved these Falls.

As if sensing my need for comfort, Holly slowly walks up to me, running her soft body against mine. She’s my only friend here, and I welcome the contact.

Her pure white coat and ice-blue eyes match her brother Hunter’s wolf, though she’s about half his size. My wolf is the opposite; I have a thick black coat and only one white paw. I watch Holly carefully as she lies down on the lake’s edge while I take in my reflection.

My head tilts to the side as I peek at my eyes in the mirror of blue water. My wolf has always been pretty. Our fur is longer around our face than most, giving me a beautiful shape. My almond-shaped eyes are deep gold; I know they sparkle when the sun reflects off them. Ryan used to say how he loved watching them shine. They’ve looked sad lately, which is how I feel most days despite my attempts to live normally to fit in. The reality that I’ll always be on the run is a truth that seems to have ruined any chance my brother thought I’d have at normalcy.

It’s like sadness has seeped into our souls. We merged at some point, and she lives with me in a third form. It’s like that movie Inside Out, except all I am is sadness and a touch of anxiety—okay, a lot of anxiety. The loneliness of being surrounded by an entire Pack who loves you but you can’t seem to love back.

That’s been the hardest.

My biggest fear is if I adopt this Pack and love them back, I would put everyone at greater risk if Ax did find me. He would kill everyone and everything I loved. Just to punish me.

So, I’ve allowed myself a small group of friends in Holly and now Emma. Even them I keep at arm’s length, never telling the truth, showing fake smiles, hiding the pain festering inside. My paw splashes at my reflection as the sun shifts behind a cloud.

A noise comes from the forest. My ears press back to my head. I turn quickly and tuck my tail between my legs.

Instinctively, I slink backward towards my hiding spot, near the entrance to my cave. The spot I feel most safe. I think my wolf thinks of Ryan when we are here. She always seems to pull us to this hole in the wall, when I let her have complete control.

Holly stayed near the pool of water and watched me back away when the massive black wolf emerged from the forest. His body heaves as he scans the valley. His eyes catch on Holly, who quickly walks towards him and nuzzles into his chest.

Then his auburn glowing eyes turn to me. My wolf bows immediately.

Alpha.

I know it’s him, it's instinct to know the Alpha, even if he’s not my Alpha. My wolf still shows him the respect he deserves with a small bow. He approaches slowly, and the respect is lost as I feel my wolf seize control of our body. I’m helpless to stop the low growl. This is how it is with anyone other than Holly.

My wolf is feral around other wolves, especially men. When I let her take over, sadness becomes physical. It presents like anger. The sun cannot touch the fury that pulses through our small body when another male wolf approaches us.

Despite my posture and growl, Jackson continues his advances.

‘ This male continues to come closer ,’ my wolf says in our link. The hair on the nape of my neck rises, my growl deepens, and I position myself, ready to strike him. ‘ Alpha or not, he is making me uncomfortable ,’ she growls through our mind.

When we first joined the Solaris Pack, I would try to reason with my wolf when she got like this, but like a toddler stuck in a tantrum, she is stuck in this behavior. I’ve learned that if I just let her be angry, let her be defensive, she eventually tires out. It’s another reason I know this cave so well: this is where we sleep when we are too tired to run home.

Jackson acts as if our body language means nothing to him and walks a few feet closer, standing just out of striking distance. No other male or wolf has attempted to be this close, and I’m glad for it. I don’t want another wolf’s blood on my paws. I’ve already cost my brother his life. My growl continues through the valley, and then Jackson does something unexpected.

His giant body lowers to the forest floor. My head flicks to the side, shaking my large ears as I watch his movements. My growls cease as I take in this giant Alpha wolf bowing to me. ‘This is not normal.’

I stand. My fur settles as I take in this act, my head cocked in curiosity. Then his eyes catch mine.

The spark is immediate. At the exact moment, the sun breaks through the clouds, the light illuminates a connection forged through eternities. It shines between us like a beacon—a mate bond.

My wolf shakes her head. ‘I’m confused,’ she says.

‘Makes two of us,’ I respond.

We press up taller, and for the first time in four years, I take one step towards the male lying on the floor.

Another step closer.

He hasn’t moved, and he hasn’t made eye contact again. Time seems to slow as I watch his body. His breath is still, even as we approach him, unlike my body, which is wound like a tight spring, ready to bounce in every direction despite this natural bond pulling me towards him.

I reflect on my brother’s lesson on mate bonds. He told me they were fairytales. They didn’t happen for wolves like us. But he had heard that a mate bond was a light in the dark, a beacon of truth that would pull you home.

Home.

Something I hadn’t felt ever, and suddenly Jackson felt like home.

One more step closer.

I swallow.

I’m a nose away from his large wolf, and he presses to his full height. My eyes follow his beautiful face as he stands. Ryan was slightly bigger than me, but Jackson towers over me. His fur is shiny and black like mine; it reflects the sun’s rays, and the breeze ruffles its thick strands like wind blowing through a field of wheat. He has no other markings. My wolf purrs in satisfaction. The sound causes his eyes to flash to mine and panic to pulse through my body.

‘What was that?’ I ask her.

‘I don’t know if it felt right,’ she quips.

The panic and movement sends me skittering backward. A growl quickly replaces the purr. My body feels every emotion viscerally, and it’s draining all of the energy I have left.

I see Holly perk up in the grass from the corner of my eye. She knows I need a break and has often stayed with me through the naps. I glance once more at Jackson, who is now sitting. He growls at my distance. Then, in a flourish of attitude I did not know I possessed, I flip around and swish my tail quickly through the air, disappearing into my cave.

The afternoon’s emotions pull on me. Sadness once again settles over me like a blanket. I sigh as I curl up in a tight ball against the back wall of the cold, wet cave. The fight that burned through me is now fizzling as I let my eyes fall shut. The sound of the waterfall lulls me to sleep.

“Rose, you can’t be here.” My brother’s voice is calm yet concerned.

He is standing near the back of the hut my family calls home, his head just below the window. “What’re you doing?” I whisper back, curious to find out why he is perched here.

“Sit here, close to the wall. I was listening to them talk about the Auction.” His eyes turn sharp as I look up at him. His dark black hair is longer and hangs over his forehead. His brow is furrowed, pinching the line between his eyes as he listens to my parents’ conversation.

My ears flick to my wolf’s hearing, and I listen as well.

“She’s twenty-one now; she’s of age. The money from her sale could save us. We could move up in the Pack and not be looked down on. Wouldn’t that be nice?” My dad’s voice is hopeful and slurred slightly. He’s a drunk, and it takes a lot of booze to be a drunk wolf shifter, which is where most of our money goes. The entire Pack knows that our family is more shameful than worthy.

My mom’s voice is pleading and sad, “She only just turned twenty-one. Maybe we can give her another year—” she’s cut off.

“No, it is already arranged. She will be sold like any other girl her age. The sale will make us rich. Don’t question me again, or you know what? You could be up there with her.”

“Ryan?” The panic of being in the Auction has me whimpering. Ryan shakes his head at me as he continues to listen.

“Ryan, I don’t want to do this. Please.”

Ryan shushes me with his hand, “Rose, shush, I’m gonna make it okay. Just be quiet, or he’ll beat us both.”

My lips pinch together as I muffle my oncoming sobs. I close my eyes, plug my ears, and think of the fairytale stories my brother has told me about, wishing that maybe my fated mate would save me from this future that seems to be set in stone.

My mate.

The thought jolts me from my sleep. I realize I’m still nestled in the damp, cold cave.

Even if my dream was more of a nightmare, I always wake refreshed after seeing Ryan. Something about sleeping resets my wolf, and her earlier anger has ebbed into curiosity.

The sun is low on the horizon now, and the chill in the air would affect me if I were in human form. The water from the falls has light shining through it from the setting sun. Just as I poke my head through the falls, I see his large body still lying in the grass.

‘He is big,’ my wolf says.

I take another timid step forward.