CHAPTER 94

west

I ended up at a liquor store down the street. If I was going to get my ass inside that hospital, I needed to silence the screaming in my head. Pathetic. I knew just how pathetic I was, but I didn’t know what else to do.

Sagging against the alley wall behind the store, I uncapped the cheap bottle of vodka and forced myself to drink several gulps. The familiar burn trailed down my throat, and I squeezed my eyes shut against the rising guilt.

I had to walk my ass into that hospital.

I just couldn’t do it alone. Jackson deserved better than this.

Better than me.

It took me almost an hour along with half a small bottle of vodka to get my ass inside the hospital. By the time I did, the waiting room was full of cowboys and bunnies along with other random people—probably people who knew Jackson. The devastated mood seeped through my numbed skin as I dropped into an open chair next to Darla.

“Liquid courage?” she asked. From the tone of her voice, she already knew. She scoffed, “Good God.”

“Don’t pretend like you know a goddamn thing about me, princess,” I snapped. The sheer number of people in such a small space did nothing to help my mood. Why the fuck was the waiting area so goddamn small?

“No, I don’t,” Darla retorted. “But I do know that Jackson deserves better than you. He deserves someone who’s goin’ to show up, not drink himself into a fuckin’ hole.”

“That makes two of us,” I muttered under my breath. She made another sound that grated on my nerves, but I said nothing else.

“In case you fuckin’ cared, there’s no update,” she said. “His mama is on her way out, but it’ll take a few hours. His agent says she has power of attorney.”

Power of attorney .

Fucking hell. That didn’t sound good in any way. My eyes burned, and I quickly shut them, refusing to cry in a room full of fucking strangers. I didn’t want Mrs. Myles to show up. I didn’t want to talk about power of attorney or healthcare options.

I wanted Jackson to walk out with that cocky fucking grin of his and tell me it’d all be okay.

I needed Jackson to be okay.