15. Jax

Chapter 15

Jax

T here was pressure beneath his skin, almost painful as fur threatened to break free. Closing his eyes, Jax concentrated on keeping it together. He squeezed his fist, feeling Thea's crystal dig into his palm.

He was so fucking tired, but he couldn't risk releasing his beast just yet. Not when everyone was watching his every move. The Guardians were stretched so thin, trying to take down as many Shadow-Veyn, Skulls and Daemons as they could. But as Gideon was gaining power, it was becoming harder. There were only seven of them, eight including Lucifer.

"J, are you even listening?" Kace growled from the corner of the workshop.

Jax ignored him, simply breathing in and out until he didn't feel like he was about to split at the seams. Everything in his life was planned with precision. Every movement. Every word. Everything, and yet Thea didn't fit. She wasn't something he could plan or predict, and it was setting him on edge. He needed to concentrate on those pages, in tracking them down before Gideon. Not on his mate .

There was a reason he'd kept his distance for so long, content to simply watch and track her. It made things less complicated, because now all he wanted was to be by her side, to hear her laughter wash over him like sunshine. She saw life in a spectrum of colour, while he'd only ever witnessed it in shades of grey.

Jax heard the whistle of the blade sing through the air and moved just as it passed his shoulder.

"Aw, you missed," Lucy commented casually, and Jax opened his eyes to pin both his brothers with a glare.

Kace shook his head, palming another throwing knife from the wall. Jax could see the tension along his skin, like a violent vibration that Jax had felt more and more of late. Kace dealt with his control by fighting, using force to release his excess energy before it could destroy him. Mating with Eva had anchored him to an extent, but he was still a fucking psycho that craved violence. A psycho that was watching him way too closely while holding a knife.

Lucifer smirked at the strain between them, his legs swinging as he perched on the anvil. Scraps of metal surrounded him in neat piles, left from the last time Jax had worked. He figured out early on that creating something with his hands helped against the surrounding noise, keeping his mind sane. It gave him a purpose other than to fight, an influence in something that required no voice. His work spoke for itself, and over the years he'd become a brand name known for one-of-a-kind weapons.

He created and sold deadly works of art to carefully selected clients – knives, guns and swords. He'd also recently spread his craft to include chains with meticulously identical links and locks that didn't require keys. And now, apparently, he was making bullets too, although that was more Kace's expertise.

Bullets designed to stop a Daemon from drifting .

"I was listening," Jax lied, closing the distance to see the latest design. "What's wrong with it now?"

Kace glared as if he were going to argue. "You've made the bullet too sharp," he said instead. "It's going through and through."

"It needs to stay in the system long enough for the charm to work." Lucy lifted up his T-shirt to show the already healing bullet hole. "Why are we using bullets again? Why not use a piece of jewellery."

"We've been through this, batboy," Kace grunted. "What are you going to do? Wrestle him? Ride him like a bull and hope you can snap the fucking thing on? A bracelet, necklace and ring can be removed. Hard as fuck to remove fragments of a bullet from your insides."

"Call me batboy one more time, psycho," Lucy growled, "and you'll be the target practice. Not me."

Kace's fist blurred, knocking Lucy off the anvil. He crashed to the hard concrete, the scraps of metal fluttering down around him.

"You mother fucker!" he hissed, picking up a scrap and launching it towards Kace.

Dragging a hand down his face, Jax looked at the picture Kace had drawn beside his notes. They were right; they needed the bullet to stay inside the body long enough for the anti-drifting charm to work. "Do you think you can draw a spiral at the end?" he asked, attempting to explain his idea while also not stabbing them both. "If I can plate it in something softer rather than steel, I may be able to manipulate the force and get the bullet to separate on impact." He tapped Thea's obsidian against the table in thought.

Jumping up, Lucy studied the paper with a frown. "Separate? As in split into pieces?"

"That's the definition of separate, yes," Kace muttered, grabbing a pencil. "Like this?" He added a spiral, and after Jax corrected his idea in pen, they agreed on a design.

Lucifer groaned. "This is going to fucking hurt."

"I thought you were into pain?" Kace smirked.

"Yeah, but not when your ugly mug does it." Lucifer pursed his lips, red eyes glowing. "We managed to hit Bishop last time, but I don't know if the current level will keep Gideon down for long."

"Leave the explosive side to me." Kace brushed a hand through his dark red hair. "And I swear, if you add fucking glitter again…"

Lucy clicked his tongue. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kace shot him a glare, but didn't argue further.

"Once I get the shell created, I'll then let you know when we can test," Jax said, bringing them all back to the conversation at hand. They'd already tested numerous designs, and nothing so far had been successful. They'd been lucky with other Daemons, but they were nothing compared to the king himself. "You think you've mastered the compound?"

Kace looked over at the vial of powder at the edge of one of Jax's work benches. It was black, but there was definitely a slight shimmer. He shot Lucifer another sharp scowl, who'd suddenly found the ceiling very interesting before he turned to Jax.

"We need to test it with the metals of the shell. I think the iron and steel act as catalysts, activating the explosives early rather than neutralising the energy until impact. It's affecting the spell's quality."

Jax rolled the crystal between his fingers. "Obsidian's supposed to neutralise negative energy."

Kace raised a brow, glancing over at Lucifer .

"Hey, don't look at me," Lucy said with a shrug. "You guys are the brains. I'm just the target practice."

"The target practice that keeps adding fucking glitter," Kace growled.

Lucifer sneered. "Look, I'm not saying I did anything. But if I had added glitter, it wouldn't affect the explosive compound because I only use the bio-degradable stuff."

"Yes, because saving the environment from your fucking glitter is more important than destroying Gideon." Kace shook his head. "Grow up."

Lucifer snarled, black veins rising beneath the skin of his neck. "I'm not a child."

"You sure about that?" Kace shot back. "Hunter's more mature, and he's fifteen."

"Now you're just hurting my feelings." Lucifer grunted, folding his arms with a huff. The black veins retracted, leaving only smooth, golden brown skin. "You're moaning at me, yet Jax is standing there, clearly having an existential crisis. Some friend you are."

Jax growled, his beast stretching the limits of his mind. Beast wanted to show Lucy his fangs, but was content for Jax to remain the man for now.

The tension along Kace eased, his brows raised when he returned his attention to Jax. "This about the faerie everyone's talking about? The same one who hit you when you were your beast?"

Lucifer smirked, which turned to a grin when Jax shoved him in the shoulder. "Hey, I didn't say anything. Scouts honour."

"You don't even know what a scout is," Kace muttered, but there was amusement.

Jax shook his head, pulling the throwing knife out of the wall behind him and placing it back on the rack. They'd been commissioned by a European prince, one who planned to display them like a piece of art. They were the sharpest he'd ever created, a single silver piece that thickened into its handle. Jax had planned on refusing the commission on principle. His work may be art, but they weren't created to be put on display. The prince had convinced him otherwise.

Kace hummed low in his throat. "So J, tell me about the obsidian."

Jax gripped the crystal tight enough it cut into his palm. "You're right. The problem with metal is it absorbs too much of the energy. I think adding something that keeps the spell contained until impact will work."

"So, you want to use a crystal?" Lucifer picked at some lint from his shirt. "Not unheard of, but obsidian is like glass. Fragile."

"Obsidian's sharper than steel when cut correctly." Kace nodded to himself. "When the bullet hits it doesn't matter if it shatters, as long as the shards penetrate."

"I need to run a few tests." Jax wasn't familiar with the strength and dexterity of the crystal. "We done here?" he asked, placing the obsidian on the table. He already knew what he needed to do, the design adapting in his mind to fit the plan.

"Why, you want to get back to your mate?" Lucy asked casually, and Kace froze.

Fuck's sake.

"Mate, huh?" Kace cocked his head. "That explains it."

Jax gritted his teeth, so hard he was sure they'd crack. "Explains what?"

"Why you're more morose than normal."

Lucifer nodded enthusiastically. "That's what I said."

Jax closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. "I hate you all. "

"No, you don't." Lucifer grinned as he headed towards the door. "You love us."

Kace followed, hesitating at the threshold. "You want my advice?"

"No."

Kace's eyes narrowed, but he continued anyway. "It hurts worse if you fight it."

Even after hours of carefully abrading Thea's stone, shaping it into the perfect tip for the bullet, he couldn't shake his brother's words.

Thea's light and happiness was addictive, and somewhere in his empty soul, he craved it – craved her. But he'd never fought it. He knew she was his from the moment they met; he'd just taken his time. Jax protected her from afar, knowing that danger surrounded him like a vicious cloud. He'd always intended for them to be together. Fate had just forced his hand.

And now, he couldn't go back to watching from the shadows.

He was aware the need to be near her was edging on psychotic, but the pressure on his chest eased when he stared up at Thea's window, the light on despite the late time. There wasn't even a hesitation before he reached up and swung himself up onto the balcony, his movements silent against the late night sounds of the city.

She'd left the balcony door open, which saved him from having to force it. Reaper was fast asleep by her shoulder, and Jax knew he didn't have long before the cat scented him. He was a peculiar creature, one who was terrible at defending his master from strange men in the night.

Thea's brows creased, a cry echoing out her throat. Without thought, Jax reached over to brush the hair from her face, the strands their natural silver. She eased at his touch, settling back into a deep sleep when he clicked off the bedside lamp and placed the sunflower he'd brought beside it.

He ached to understand her, to know why she read so many books that were more sex than plot. Why she collected crystals. Why he'd never found any food in her fridge other than cold, takeout, chocolate and whipped cream. And why she'd kept the phallic statue on her shelf.

He wanted to know how, when faced with her father's impending death, she faced the world with nothing but life.

Beast pressed against his skin, wanting to shift and lay across her like a blanket, to protect her when she lay vulnerable. Jax was tempted, his exhaustion a constant drum at the back of his skull. But he knew once he shifted, he wouldn't be able to come back anytime soon.

Beast growled, the frustration vibrating his chest loud enough to wake Reaper. The cat blinked up at him, immediately purring.

Jax knew he should leave, her scent teasing his beast to the edge of control.

He needed to leave.

Yet he couldn't move. It was as if his feet had become one with the carpet.

MINE, Beast growled, watching through Jax's eyes at the rise and fall of every breath. His rainbow girl was a fucking flame, and he was the moth drawn to her light, ready to sacrifice everything just for a little of her warmth. He'd never felt such a connection. It was an obsession, and she had no idea.

He needed to leave, but the instinct to stay was something he wasn't sure he wanted to fight.

So, he didn't.