Chapter 5

5

Murph

Iwatch Angelica sleep with my heart in my throat.

The morning light is only beginning to fill her girly bedroom. More and more sunshine begins to reveal the delicate pink sheets, the ballet dancer painting on her wall, the sparkly high heels discarded in the corner. One of these things is not like the other—and it’s me. I’m horribly out of place.

Even our pressed-together bodies are painfully dissimilar. I’m the giant ogre who has captured the princess, my coarse, fat-knuckled hand resting on her flat stomach, her petite feet tucked between the knees I’ve used to crush a man’s windpipe. But I can’t seem to let go.

She only wanted comfort last night. I have to keep telling myself that.

Angelica has everything she could ever want. Money, fame. There was something I could offer her last night—oblivion—but this isn’t a permanent job and I need to be realistic about that. For so many reasons.

One, she can do so much better than me. Someone with equal talent who doesn’t have the horrors of the world engraved on his mind. When she does find that person, she’ll realize she was selling herself short by letting a grizzled mercenary touch her perfect skin.

Two, what we did last night was a betrayal of her father’s trust. Again.

Fuck, though, I want to do it again so badly. The sugar cookie taste of her pussy, the slippery feel of it on my bare dick, has ruined me for anything else this world has to offer. I’ll spend the rest of my life fantasizing about her riding my face, her thighs wrapped around my head. I’ve never been so hard. Never come so violently, my insides felt like they were being rearranged.

That’s only for her. It’ll only ever be for her.

My job here is to make sure Angelica is safe. That’s why she called me. And keeping her safe will be my job for the rest of my life, whether she’s aware of me watching from the shadows or not. I need to get my ass up and start delivering, because letting her down is not an option.

Though it’s the worst kind of pain, I disentangle myself from the sleeping angel and get out of bed. Since there is no way I can go downstairs with my cock tenting my jeans, I have no choice but to make a stop in Angelica’s bathroom. I step into her shower and press some puffy pink sponge to my nose, finding it smelling like her and I beat off roughly, my climax taking no time at all because I can still taste her cunt in my mouth. Mere seconds. God. And then I’m painting the tile wall of her shower in my semen, imagining it dripping down the walls of her womb instead.

After I get myself together, I go to my truck, get out my overnight bag and find a downstairs bathroom to clean myself up and change clothes. When I’m done, I hear voices in the kitchen, so I make my way there and find the redhead manager and the clipboard twins going over today’s plan.

“All right,” says Taryn briskly. “Angelica’s trainer will be here momentarily for her daily workout in the downstairs gym. We have a quick rehearsal later this morning, then a photo shoot at noon. A Zoom interview with…”

She trails off when she sees me standing in the doorway.

“I’m going to need those locations,” I say, moving to the coffee pot. “Need to make sure they’re secure beforehand. And you can go ahead and cancel the workout. I don’t want anyone coming in and out of here until I determine who trespassed on the property last night.”

One of the clipboard twins chokes. “Cancel the workout?”

I pour a mug of steaming coffee. “Yeah, I know this is LA and everyone has to look like a movie star, but Angelica’s safety is more important.”

Taryn arches an angry eyebrow at me. “How do we know you’re not the stalker?”

I pin her with a look. “Who called them a stalker?”

She sputters. “Well, it’s a reasonable assumption.”

“Is it?” I ask, sipping my coffee slowly.

“Good morning,” Angelica murmurs, padding into the tense kitchen, tucking her loose golden hair behind an ear. “Is the trainer here yet?”

She sounds so glum asking the question, I want to pick her up and rock her. How hard have they been working this girl? She just had a stadium show last night. Doesn’t that earn her some rest?

“Your training session is cancelled,” I say into my mug of coffee, my heart shooting up into my throat when she spins toward me with a huge smile on her face.

Fuck.

I’m so fucked.

I’ve always known my preoccupation with Angelica ran deep, but I’ve been in denial over how much I’ve loved her from afar. Now that we’re up close and personal again, there’s no pretending that my feelings for her don’t go far beyond lust and admiration. I’m fucking in love with her. I have been for a long time.

“It is?” she whispers, bounding toward me and throwing her arms around my neck. “We’re playing hooky?”

If there weren’t several people in the room watching us with curiosity, nothing would stop me from cupping that tight behind in my hand, giving it a hearty squeeze. She’s in teeny-tiny gray bike shorts and a black sports bra that show off her pop-star figure and not even my jerk off session can stop my cock from responding. “We can do anything you want, kid. As long as it’s safe.”

She wrinkles her nose at the nickname, but doesn’t give me a hard time. “I’ve lived in the Hills for months, but I haven’t been to the Hollywood sign. Will you take me?” I grunt an affirmation and she wiggles against me, her eyes twinkling with excitement, lids fluttering when she feels the erection she’s causing. “Can we go alone?”

I grip her waist to hold her still before I unload in my jeans. “We’ll have your security team trail us, all right? You’re safe with me, but I want someone watching your back at all times until we catch the perp.”

Her nod is solemn, that full lower lip caught between her teeth.

God, I’d like to reverse our positions and fuck her hot little body up against the kitchen counter, make her shake for my dick the way she trembled for my tongue last night. I’d have to give it to her raw, no barriers. This possessiveness I feel for her wouldn’t allow a single thing between us.

I clear the hunger from my throat. “Give me an hour. I need to make some calls.” Over the top of Angelica’s head, I eyeball the manager. The security team sent me the lists I requested and I’m going to put them through my government database this morning, see if Angelica’s recent guests or anyone in her employ turn up any hits that I didn’t dig deep enough to find the first time around. But right off the top, I don’t like the way the manager called the perp a stalker. It was premature. “Why don’t you go put on some actual clothes?”

Frowning, Angelica looks down at her body. “These are clothes.”

“That is underwear, baby.”

She giggles, runs a finger down the center of my chest and struts away, her ass moving like a dream in those shorts. “I’ll be out by the pool. Come get me when you’re ready.”

As soon as she sets foot out of the kitchen, I’m on the phone to her security team, ordering them to form a perimeter around Angelica. Not taking any chances with her. In fact, just having her out of my sight for a matter of minutes makes me start to sweat. So I complete my work as quickly as possible, making calls ahead to the studio where she’ll be rehearsing and doing her photo shoot this afternoon, adding security measures, eliminating any personnel that don’t need to be present. And lastly, I open my email from her security team and start the process of running searches for any criminal history or aliases.

There is an email in my inbox from Joe and I start to open it, but I catch sight of Angelica through the living room window. She waves at me, gesturing for me to come outside, bouncing on the balls of her feet. With my heart lodged beneath my jugular, I can’t do anything but go to her, leaving the email unopened.

* * *

“Oh my gosh,this is even cooler than I thought it would be,” Angelica breathes, shielding her eyes from the California sun, the valley sweeping out below, dotted with mansions. “Wasn’t it worth the hike?”

To see her this happy? Fuck yeah it was.

I’d have walked a thousand miles to make her smile. To see the exhaustion lift from her shoulders, the way it did on our short walk to the Hollywood sign. I grunt in response to her question, making her laugh. “I missed your grunts, Murph.” She slides me a look, pink filtering into her cheeks. “I missed your honesty, too. The way you call things exactly as you see them.” Her throat works. “I don’t encounter a lot of that anymore.”

“How’s that?”

“It’s nothing,” she laughs, but there’s a line between her brows.

“It’s not nothing.” I step in front of her to block the sun, tipping her chin up until she’s looking at me. “Are you happy here, Angelica?”

“Of course I am!” she says too quickly. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted. A multi-record deal, shows in every corner of the globe, people who love my songs…”

“But?”

She blinks and looks down. “But what?”

I lift her chin again. “I’ve known you a long time, kid. I know when you’ve got something on your mind. Get it off.”

“So commanding,” she whispers, turning her head to kiss the inside of my wrist. “You were the same way in my bed.”

My cock pulses hotly. “I thought what happens in the dark stays in the dark.”

She doesn’t even bother to look contrite. “I may have lied. A little.” She turns heavy lidded, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I would have said whatever it took to get your hands on me.”

“Jesus Christ. Are you trying to get tossed up onto my dick right now?” I growl, putting light pressure on her jaw until those fantasy lips pop open. “I can tell you’re trying to distract me from the real conversation.”

“Isn’t it working?”

“Like a charm.” It costs me a Herculean effort to stop touching Angelica and put space between us, but I’m well aware of her security team hovering a hundred yards away. If they see me pawing at Angelica, they’ll probably assume I’m attacking her because no woman in their right mind would subject themselves to it willingly. Especially a sweet, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous celebrity like Angelica. “Answer me again,” I rasp, adjusting the bulge in my jeans. “Are you happy?”

“I better be,” she says, swallowing. “After all, I sold my soul for this life.”

My eyebrows slash together. “What the hell does that mean?”

I’m surprised when her face rapidly turns pink. “It’s embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than coming in my pants at the first feel of you underneath me?” I shake my head. “Angelica, you can tell me anything.”

Her tits rise and fall. She paces away, hugging her elbows and looking out over the valley. “Everything about you is so…real. You are one hundred percent authentic, Murph. Meanwhile…they put me in some pop music machine and it spat me out. When I’m on stage, I feel like a fraud. An actor. I haven’t even fought for the chance to record my own music. But you…” She wets her lips. “My father always talks about how heroic you were during your service. And I still don’t know what you do for a living, but…I know it somehow keeps people safe, because that’s who you are. A protector. I don’t even know what or who I am anymore.” Her hard swallow reaches my ears. “You must think I’m ridiculous.”

I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open. “There is no reality where I think you’re ridiculous, Angelica. Maybe you haven’t recorded your own music. Yet. But I’m in awe of you and what you’ve accomplished. How could you think otherwise?”

“You stayed away. You just disappeared.” She glances back at me with tears in her eyes. “I thought you must be disappointed or—”

I take a giant step forward, take her by the shoulders and turn her around. For a minute, I have no idea what to say. Can barely speak around the devastation that she’s felt deserted all this time. Here I was thinking she never gave me a thought until she was in danger. “Baby…” I take a slow breath, knowing there’s only one way to reassure her. “You eat oatmeal with pecans and strawberries for breakfast every morning. Your pre-concert ritual is to do handstands in your dressing room. You drink hot chocolate instead of coffee. You send money to charities anonymously, mostly ones that keep music programs in schools. I know every damn thing about you. I was never really gone. I just…fuck, kid.” I drop my hands and step away. “Look at me. And look at you.”

Angelica rears back a little. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I seesaw a hand between us. “I look like I should be carrying you up the side of the Empire State Building. Not putting my disgusting hands on you.”

The girl looks stricken. “Disgusting hands? Are you…did you just compare yourself to King Kong? Like…a beast or something?”

I scoff, the tips of my ears burning. “Come on. Don’t act like the differences in our appearances never crossed your mind.”

Her expression is nothing short of nonplussed. “I love the way you look.”

“Oh yeah?” I slap at the tire around my waist. “This really turns you on?”

“Yes,” she whispers, breathing faster. And I definitely don’t miss the way her nipples turn to peaks in her sports bra. “Your thickness makes me feel safe. Like nothing could get through you. I like the way you press me down and I can’t move. I’m h-helpless and powerful at the same time. I love it. I love the hair on your chest and stomach, too, because it makes me feel smooth and sexy. All of it. I love all of it.”

My breath is trapped in my lungs. Did I hear her right or am I dreaming? “Last night…you just needed comfort from someone familiar—”

“No.” She shakes her head. “No, I needed it from you, Murph. Only you.”

It’s hard to speak when my throat is this tight, but I manage. “I’m too old for you, kid. I’m too jaded. I’ve seen things straight out of your worst nightmares. Maybe you don’t think I’m an ugly son-of-a-bitch, but what’s in my head is ugly for damn sure.” I look down at my hands, imagining blood running down my knuckles. “When I touch you, I feel like it’s going to seep out of me and dirty you. You’re everything light and sweet and beautiful.”

“And I’ve been worried I’m too phony. Too inauthentic for you.” Her eyes are hopeful as she steps toward me, slides her palms up and over my pecs. “Maybe we’ve both been crazy.” She licks her lips. “Do you want to be with me, Murph?”

I huff a laugh. “You really have to ask me that, Angelica? After I just told you I’ve been following your every move, demanding details about how you eat, how long you sleep, hovering just outside of your notice?”

“I love knowing that,” she whispers.

“Angelica…” I say hoarsely, squeezing her waist, leaning down to take a long inhale of her sugar cookie goodness. “Goddammit, you’ve got my dick so hard.”

“As my security consultant, maybe you should cancel rehearsal and the photo shoot, too.” She presses her curves to the front of my body, gazing up at me through her eyelashes. “Maybe it’s safest to keep me in my bedroom all day.”

“Your father,” I grit out. “We can’t forget about him. When a man has saved your life and you’ve saved his in return, this kind of betrayal is inexcusable. That kind of trust can’t be violated.”

Angelica lifts slowly on her toes, melding our mouths together, tempting me into a long, wet kiss, before pulling back and whispering, “Can’t we talk to him? Explain that we…” She blushes. “Have feelings for each other?”

“That’s a mild way of putting it,” I growl, rolling our foreheads together.

“I guess it is…” She rubs her hips against mine teasingly. “Considering you know what I eat for breakfast.” With a smile curving her mouth, she squints up at me. “How do you know all of that stuff, by the way?”

“The day you moved to LA, I relocated here, too. I…” Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud. “I purchased the security company you hired, so I would know every move you make. Travel dates.” My Adam’s apple slides up and down, my pulse going full throttle. “You might say my obsession with you is…unhealthy.”

Instead of being horrified by my actions or my admission, she gives a gusty sigh, as if she finds it all very romantic. “I want to belong to you, Murph.” Her hand slides down my chest, past my gut, to lightly rub against my cock. “Now.”

Lord above.Semen leaks from my tip, soaking into my fly.

This perfect angel really wants to be with me?

I never could have imagined it in a million years. She’s sugar and I’m motor oil. She’s sweet where I’m bitter. It shouldn’t make sense. But the way she’s looking at me makes me believe. The only wish I’ve ever made in my life might be coming true. There is a part of me that knows she can do better, but now that I’ve had my tongue in her mouth, her pussy. Now that I’ve held her through the night, the idea of letting her be with another man sets off a bomb in my head.

I’d murder the motherfucker with my bare hands.

No question.

“Please don’t push me away, Murph,” she says, looking up at me with luminous eyes. “I’ve been so lonely since you disappeared.”

My heart twists painfully, knees almost buckling. To think something I did made her sad is unbearable. “I was doing what’s best for you,” I rasp.

“You’re what’s best for me.” She nuzzles her cheek into the center of my chest. “Take me home. Make me yours…completely.”

I’m panting now like I’ve run a marathon, my cock throbbing in time with my breaths. “Not until I speak to your father,” I say on a rush of breath. “Not until I deal with the consequences, face to face. And when I talk to him, I want to be able to say I haven’t fucked you yet. It’s the right thing to do.”

Her bottom lip sticks out in a pout. There is a protest on her lips, but before she can voice it, her cell phone buzzes where she’s tucked it into her shorts. One of the security guards hesitantly calls something about rehearsal time, causing Angelica to sigh. “Fine,” she says, giving my johnson a final stoke through my jeans. “I guess that’s fair.”

That’s what she says.

But there is something mischievous in her eyes…and I know she’s not going to make waiting easy. It’s not long before that theory is confirmed.