Chapter 21

Chapter

Twenty-One

March 25th

1:46 P.M.

Something had to change.

Panther knew that none of them could go on like this. He was miserable, Andy was miserable, Elle and Ruthie were miserable. It was pretty obvious that no matter how many times he texted, Elle was never going to text back. If he wanted to talk to her, attempt to fix the mess he'd made, then he was going to have to do it in person.

It hadn't even been a week yet, and he was already losing his mind without her presence in his life. Ruthie's, too, damn he missed that sweet little girl. The child gave the best hugs, there was just something about them that melted your heart when she wrapped her thin, little arms around your neck and held on like she needed you to know how much you meant to her.

That was his future.

Elle, Ruthie, and Andy.

Not Marcia.

Finally, reality had sunk in. It wasn't DNA that made a family, it was love. In the couple of years they had been together, Marcia had never shown him the same level of love Elle had in just over a month.

Just like he considered his Bravo Team brothers more his family than both his biological and step-siblings, he could consider Elle and Ruthie more his family than Marcia. There was no way he could control Marcia, if she was being honest and wanted back in on Andy's life then he wouldn't stop her, but he didn"t have to give up his and his son's happiness for it.

Yes, he'd felt left out and unwanted as a child, but that was what had made him unhappy. Had his parents taken the time to make sure he felt secure in both his new homes, he could have found happiness even if he always had a lingering wish to have his parents together.

Together, he and Elle could build a family that would ensure both their kids knew how much they were loved and wanted. With Marcia he could never do that. Because he didn"t love her, and sooner or later his son would pick up on that.

Andy didn"t want his parents together, he just wanted a secure home life where he could grow and thrive.

As soon as he sent Marcia home, he and Andy were going to bake Ruthie's favorite cookies, then pick a few flowers that were starting to bloom in the mild early spring. And then they were going to stop by the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner.

After that, he was going to pray big time that Elle would let him in the door.

Sneaky move maybe, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't deny Andy, so he was absolutely going to use that to his advantage. Allowing his own childhood issues to mess with his head with what should have been an easy decision to make had been a mistake, but one he was determined to rectify.

It was time to look to the future and stop obsessing over the past.

Opening the front door, Panther looked immediately to the couch where he thought he would find his son. Andy hadn"t made any effort to get to know Marcia and now that he understood just how angry his son was he got why.

Panther was trying to force something that, in reality, was going to take time.

Andy didn"t know Marcia, she was nothing to him, and his son had bonded with Elle and Ruthie both, he missed them and blamed both Panther and Marcia for them being gone. He was proud of how smart his son was. Understanding what had taken Panther days to get. Family was the people you loved, who loved you in return, it had absolutely nothing to do with blood.

The couch was empty, though, and he wondered whether Marcia and Andy were making progress in building a relationship. He was glad, whatever happened he wanted his son to have as many people as possible to love him and support him.

Strolling through to the kitchen, he expected to find Andy and Marcia hanging out. Instead, all he saw was Marcia at the kitchen table with her phone in her hand. No Andy.

"Where's my son?" he growled, causing Marcia to jump, dropping her phone onto the table, and red tinting her pale cheeks.

"Oh … umm … he's watching TV."

"No. He's not. I just came through the living room and he's not there."

"Well then he's probably playing in the playroom," Marcia suggested.

"Why don't you know where he is?" he demanded. "You"re not here to be playing on your phone, Marcia, you"re in charge of an eight-year-old little boy. You should know where he is at all times unless you"re playing hide and seek." Arching a brow, he mocked, "Are you playing hide and seek?"

"Of course not," Marcia grumbled, sounding irritated like she couldn't be bothered with the whole thing. Only this was their child they were talking about. "He's in the playroom. Or maybe upstairs playing in his room."

"Why don't you know where he is, Marcia?" Panther fumed as he stormed out of the kitchen to the playroom.

"He didn"t want to play with me," she said like it was no big deal.

"So you just sat in there on your phone?" If he sounded incredulous it was because he absolutely was. He had thrown away the best thing to have ever happened to him after his son—and might not be able to get it back—because he'd always wanted Andy to have the childhood he hadn"t. To know he'd done it all for someone who still didn"t seem to care one iota about Andy made him furious.

"I can"t force him to play with me," Marcia said defensively.

Defensive, not upset. She was angry with him for bringing it up but not sad that the son she said she wanted to help raise wanted nothing to do with her.

Andy was right. This woman didn"t love him.

After finding the playroom empty, panic began to bubble inside him. Something was wrong. His son should be here. Andy rarely played in his room, he was usually either in the living room or the playroom, only both were empty and he had a bad feeling about it.

"Andy?" he yelled as he shoved past Marcia who looked bored, not guilty or concerned, and ran up the stairs.

There was no answer and just as he expected, the bedroom was empty.

Already knowing the answer, Panther ran to the dresser where he knew Andy kept the superhero ring, but it wasn't sitting there.

The ring was gone.

Which meant his son was gone.

Sending out an SOS text to his team telling them that Andy was missing, he stalked back down the stairs to where Marcia was waiting for him, lounging against the wall like she didn"t have a care in the world.

It wasn't until he started advancing on her, making no attempt to hide his fury, that she startled and the first tinges of fear colored her eyes.

"Uh, he wasn't up there?" she asked, straightening.

"Nope. He wasn't. Why weren"t you watching him?"

"He won"t talk to me. I just assumed he was going to watch TV or play with his toys. He's probably outside, what"s the big deal?"

"What"s the big deal?" he roared. "Andy is eight. Eight. Do you get that? That means that you should know where he is at all times." Standing before her, he grasped her chin—none too gently—and forced her to look at him. "Why did you come back? It wasn't for Andy." That was now abundantly clear to him and he wished he had seen it right away.

At least Marcia had the good grace to look ashamed.

And guilty.

It was the guilt that tightened his gut.

"What have you done, Marcia?" he demanded.

"I didn"t have a choice," she said softly.

"We always have a choice." Panther just hoped his choices hadn"t cost him everything he held dear. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"I … got into some trouble … financially. Things spiraled and I racked up a lot of debt. Debt I couldn't pay off."

"What does that have to do with me and Andy?" They were divorced, whatever financial problems she'd got herself wrapped up in were not his responsibility.

"I thought maybe you would help, but I knew I would have to get in good with the boy first."

The boy. Not Andy. She couldn't even use their son's name.

"I knew how badly you wanted Andy to have the kind of childhood you didn"t, so I thought if I came back and said I wanted a second chance, you would give it to me no matter what. Even if you were with someone else," Marcia continued.

Damn.

The woman had known him better than he knew himself.

"I thought all I would have to do was play happy families with you for a little while and then when I told you about the debt you would pay it off for me."

As angry as he was with his ex, Panther had to admit that the person he should be most angry with was himself. He had made the choice to throw away the good thing he was building with Elle and her daughter. He had chosen to allow his childhood to continue to control him and ignore everyone from his team, to his son, to his own instincts.

Releasing his grip on Marcia, he stepped away, no longer able to stomach having her anywhere near him. "There is nothing between us, I'd already made the decision before I came in here that I was going to try to fix things with Elle and only allow you to keep building something with Andy. My son deserves so much better than you for a mother, and Elle is everything I want for him. I don't think I ever loved you, Marcia. I don't think I knew what love meant back then. But I love my son, and I"m falling in love with Elle and that sweet little girl of hers. My son ran away because of you, because of your lies and manipulations. If anything happens to him, you can be sure I am going to make sure you"re punished to the fullest extent of the law. Don't you ever come near me or my son again."

March 25th

2:02 P.M.

Elle could feel her eyelids drooping as she sat on the couch beside Ruthie and watched another Disney movie.

Just like in her first pregnancy, she hadn"t suffered from any morning sickness so far, and she hoped that, like last time, that continued, but she was exhausted. Last time around pregnancy had left her a wreck, barely enough energy to get out of bed to take care of the laundry, the cleaning, the cooking, and writing to pay their bills. This time around things didn"t seem to be going any differently.

Only this time around things were different in so many ways.

Last time she had been eight years younger, and innocently hopeful that the baby would bring her the closeness with her husband that she could feel was lacking. She'd thought that having a child together would change everything. That her husband would see that he needed to step up more and help out around the house, and stick to one job and help contribute financially. That he needed to give her the emotional support she needed.

Instead, the baby was the final nail in their coffin, and her husband had filed for divorce six weeks after Ruthie was born. Looking back, it was easy to see that she had been so desperate for love and affection that she would take the scraps her ex gave her and blow them up to make them seem more than they were. She had been the same way with her parents. So desperate that anything they offered she would greedily accept.

It wasn't until she had Ruthie and finally experienced unconditional love that she realized that was what she deserved from all the people in her life.

Now she was almost thirty, she already had a child, so when the baby came along she was going to have to balance her time and attention between two children. Something Ruthie was going to have to get used to since she had always been the absolute focus of Elle's entire life.

Even though she had ended up being a single parent, she hadn"t known that during her pregnancy, she'd thought she would be raising her child as part of a partnership. This time, at least, she knew she was going to have to do it all alone.

Already she was exhausted at the thought.

The buzz of the doorbell had her wearily shoving to her feet. Ruthie barely blinked, engrossed in every second of her movie marathon even though these were all movies she had seen before, most of them several times.

"Want more popcorn?" she asked her daughter as she stretched her back.

"Mmm?" Ruthie mumbled, making Elle smile.

"Do you want more popcorn after I answer the door?"

"Sure," Ruthie replied, never moving her gaze from the screen.

Still smiling as she headed for the door, expecting to collect more of the packages she'd ordered—although she really was going to have to toughen up and ask someone to pack up her and Ruthie's things that were still at Rafe's—her mouth dropped when she opened the door.

It wasn't the delivery driver standing on her front porch.

It was a four-foot-three, fifty-five pound, brown-haired, hazel-eyed eight-year-old looking up at her.

"Andy?" She dropped to her knees and dragged the boy into her arms, both overjoyed to see him again, but terrified what his presence meant. Had something happened to Rafe? Just because she was upset with him didn"t mean she wanted him to be hurt. But if something had happened to Rafe, why was Andy here to tell her? This made zero sense.

"Elle! I missed you so bad," Andy said, hugging her tight.

Scanning the front yard, which was as empty as was the street, her confusion grew. How on earth had the boy gotten here? The little boy was wearing a backpack, and she got the sickening feeling that he might have run away from home.

She was way too intimately acquainted with the knowledge of what it felt like to learn your child had disappeared, and it wasn't something she would wish on anyone, not even her greatest enemy, and Rafe wasn't her enemy, things just hadn"t worked out between them.

"Andy, what"s going on? Who brought you here? Why are you here? Does your dad know?" she rattled off questions as she straightened, placing her hands on the boy's shoulders.

"I hitchhiked here and I"m not sorry," Andy said stubbornly. There was an angry gleam to his beautiful hazel eyes that she hadn"t seen once while she'd been staying with the child and his father, and it made her heart ache. The last thing she wanted was for her and Ruthie leaving to have hurt Rafe and Andy's relationship, even if there hadn"t been anything she had been able to do about it.

"Hitchhiked!" she squeaked, horrified at the idea of a little boy getting into a car alone with strangers. What kind of person picked up a child and didn"t take them straight to a police station, or call the cops?

"It was easy. I just told them I got lost and that my dad was a cop and gave them your address, and they brought me right here." Andy said like it was all no big deal, while all Elle could think about were a million things that could have gone wrong with the boy's plan.

"Andy, you shouldn't have done that, it was too dangerous."

"I don't care. I wanted to see you. I missed you, Elle. I don't want that woman to be my mom, I want you to be my mom. I don't care what my dad says, he misses you, too. He doesn't really want to be with her, he wants to be with you. You"re the closest thing to a mom I"ve ever had and I want you to come home. I want you and my dad to get back together. I miss Ruthie, I want her to be my sister, and I don't want you to ever leave again," Andy said, tears shimmering in his eyes by the time he finished his little speech.

"Oh, baby," she murmured as she reached down and picked him up even though he was really too big to carry. Elle wished that could happen, too, but the problem was she couldn't make Rafe want to be with her and Ruthie. Couldn't make him want to give up on whatever fears were guiding him. Couldn't even guarantee that if he did come to her and ask for a second chance, she would give it to him. Three children would be affected by whatever decisions she made, and she didn"t take that lightly.

As nice as it would be to pretend the last week hadn't happened, it had, and there were no promises she could or would make to this child.

"I don't know what"s going to happen with me and your dad, bud, but I do know that hitchhiking wasn't the answer." Just because she loved this little boy didn"t mean she could allow him to get away with doing something so dangerous. Especially because she loved this boy it meant she couldn't let him get away with doing something so dangerous.

"I wanted to see you." He huffed.

"And I wanted to see you, too, but you know better than to talk to strangers, let alone get into a car with one," she rebuked. Regardless of what happened with Rafe, this little boy would always be part of her life because his little brother or sister was growing inside her. A permanent bond between her and Rafe, and between Ruthie, Andy, and this child.

"I don't care because it worked," Andy said, smiling widely.

"What worked?"

"You and Dad will have to see each other now. You'll have to talk, and that means you can get back together." His smile grew until he was beaming at her, so completely confident that his childish plan had worked and now the two of them would get back together.

Only life didn"t work that simply when you were a grown-up.

There were no guarantees any of them were going to get the happy ending she'd write if this was one of her books.

Still, Andy was right about one thing. She was going to have to call his dad to tell him that Andy was safe and sound with her. Being upset with Rafe didn"t mean she would allow him to suffer, afraid and wondering where his son was.

Whether she wanted to or not, she was about to come face to face with the man who hadn"t just hurt her but her child as well. Hurting her, Elle could probably forgive, but hurting her daughter was a hard no. Although it was something she was going to have to work through because she was having a baby, and Rafe was the father, and he was going to want to be part of this child's life, which also meant being a part of hers and Ruthie's lives.

Right now, trying to figure out how it was going to work was too much for her exhausted and strung-out brain.

Setting Andy on his feet, she nudged him inside. "Go tell Ruthie you're here, she's missed you like crazy. Then the two of you get into the car because we have to take you back home to your dad."

Seeing Rafe again scared her. Just because she was hurt didn"t mean her feelings had just vanished, and she so badly wanted to seek comfort in his strong arms. Elle prayed for strength to do the right thing for all of them.