Chapter 8

8

RILEY

I stare at myself in the mirror as I brush my hair out. My mind keeps thinking back to Friday night at the bar and all the gorgeous women who fluttered around the room with graceful beauty. I suck my cheeks in, wondering if they're so full because I still have some babyface left, or if it's because I'm a little chubby. I lean in, staring at the freckles that sprinkle across my nose. I don't think there is ever a chance I'll look like that Abby girl. She is all woman.

"I look like a young girl." I huff a breath, tossing my brush down on the counter.

When I walk out of my bathroom, I'm surprised to see Nikolai sitting on my bed. He's in his signature black jeans and shirt. I'm guessing it's his favorite color since he's always wearing it. I notice he's got my computer sitting in his lap. I can hear him clicking away on it. What the heck?

"What are you doing?" I haven't seen him since Friday night. He brought me home, and the rest was kind of fuzzy. I could have sworn he lay down with me in bed, but when I woke up, he wasn't there. I thought it might have been a dream.

"You don't look like a girl."

"What?" He glances up from my laptop.

"With your curves, Riley, you don't look like a girl." My face flushes. Crap, he heard me.

"You could knock." I walk over and take the laptop from him, closing it. "You could also respect someone's privacy."

"I could do a lot of things." Nikolai's eyes rake down my body and back up, reminding me I'm only in my underwear and an oversized shirt. "All the colleges you are applying to are states away." He doesn't sound too happy about it. I should know, I'm an expert in that tone coming from him.

"You looked through my stuff?" I hold the laptop to my chest.

"There are a lot of good universities around here." Nikolai has a way of never answering my questions.

"I don't know where I'll get in, so the point is moot." I put my laptop on the charger next to my bookbag so that I'll remember to grab it in the morning.

"Come here." I should tell him no. Ask why he can just do dirty things to my body and then disappear, then pop back up. Not only in my room but in my bed. My room, which is bigger than some people's apartments, feels small with him in it.

Instead of saying no, I go to him. I'm frustrated with myself for doing it, yet it doesn't deter me. I'm drawn to him. My curiosity also gets the best of me. I have been wondering how things would be between him and me after Friday.

"Sit." He doesn't wait for me to do it. He grabs my hips, pulling me down next to him.

"You're bossy," I mutter.

"So you've told me." His mouth edges upwards. It is not enough to show me that dimple again. I like seeing it. For a split second, Nikolai actually appears to be his age. "Your knees." I tense up.

"I told you. I fell." He's like a damn dog with a bone about my injury.

"There's more."

"It doesn't matter." I stand. Nikolai's hand locks around my wrist before I can try to move farther away from him.

"I'll find out one way or another." His thumb drifts back and forth on my skin before he releases his hold on me and stands. "Sleep tight."

Nikolai drops a kiss on top of my head before walking back out of my bedroom. I fall back onto the bed. That man is so confusing. It's messing with my head. It doesn't help that every time I crawl under the covers to sleep, I dream about his mouth being on me again. Unfortunately, my stupid alarm goes off right when it gets to the good part.

I drag myself out of bed and get ready for school. I don't love the uniform, but it is nice not having to worry about what I'll wear each day. Knowing my school, it would be a full-on fashion show with those girls. Even in the uniform, they all still have a way of adding to it.

My plan to keep my head down and just attend school seems to have backfired on me. But I'm not going to let a few catty girls stop me from experiencing life. Their antics are child's play compared to what Mona and I went through with our own father and brother. Still, it doesn't soothe the burn of feeling like you never fit in.

Once I accept that I'm not getting my hair under control, I grab my bag and head for the kitchen.

"Mona, can you braid my—" I trail off when I see Nikolai standing in the kitchen. His hair is wet, making me think he just got out of the shower.

"Your hair?"

"I thought Mona was here." Did they go back to the estate?

"Think they're still in bed." Nikolai rounds the kitchen island, coming toward me. His hands go to my hips.

"You're always manhandling me," I say as he turns me around.

"I thought you'd rather me do it than order you to turn around." I roll my eyes, not that Nikolai can see it.

"What are you doing?" He grabs my hair. I stand there, a bit shocked as he braids it.

"Tie?" I remove it from my wrist and hand it to him.

"You know how to braid hair?"

"When I was a boy, I used to braid my mother's." I stay quiet for a moment as he finishes up. This is the most he's ever told me about himself. I want to ask him questions, but I stop myself. I don't want him to clam up on me.

"That's sweet." I try to picture a young Nikolai. It's hard to think of him as a vulnerable little kid.

"It would be the only sweet thing about my childhood." I turn slowly to face him. He never talks about his time before Matteo took him in. I've always wondered about it. I knew it wasn't good. But hearing his words causes an ache in my chest.

"I'm sorry." My fingers itch to touch him.

"No reason to be sorry." I place my hand on his chest. "I don't want to talk about it." His voice grows thick with emotion.

"Okay."

"Unless you want to tell me about your knees, then maybe we could strike a deal."

"Seriously?" I can't help but laugh. This man will use any tactic to get me to spill about what really happened.

"Are you ready?" Sal asks, stepping into the kitchen. I expect Nikolai to say he'll be taking me, but he doesn't. Why am I oddly disappointed?

"She needs food," Nikolai grumbles but doesn't offer to take me himself.

"I got it." Sal holds up a bag.

"Okay, then. I guess I'll be going." Nikolai doesn't say anything as we leave. I swear that boy makes my head spin.

"Thanks for breakfast," I tell Sal when we make it into the car.

"I was also getting myself some." He shrugs. "Thankfully, Nikolai didn't slug me again, so I can eat it." Sal takes a giant bite of a breakfast burrito before putting it back into his bag to start the car. I can see a faint bruise on his face. It must have been from Friday night.

"Sorry about him hitting you." I motion to the bruise on his jaw.

"Nah, I was fucking with him." Sal chuckles, pulling out of the parking garage.

"What?"

"Just giving the boy a nudge is all. Knew it would get under his skin." I'm not sure what he means, but Nikolai isn't a boy. I don't care if he is eighteen.

"So, you and Abby?" I ask, taking a bite out of the sandwich he got for me. I don't know why I keep going back to Abby. Yeah, I do. It's because I'm curious about the type of women Nikolai might have dated before.

"We're friends."

"Oh, I thought—" I trail off, not sure how to phrase it. I'm actually not even sure if I should talk to him about it. I wouldn't want to tell Sal about my sex life.

"That we fu—" Sal catches himself. "Sleep together?" I feel my cheeks heat, but I nod. "We do, but it's just sex. That's about all a lot of us have to offer when you live this life."

"You can say fuck, Sal."

"It's not the word fuck; it's more about discussing sex with you. I said I wanted to nudge Nikolai. Don't need him losing it on me. God knows it's a damn mess when he does."

I can't help but wonder how many times Nikolai has lost his shit on people. I want to ask Sal more about it, but it somehow feels like an invasion of privacy or man code or something. I'm sure it always has to do with the lifestyle. If you know anything in this life it's to not ask questions about that. Ever.

"He's really touchy when it comes to you," Sal continues.

"He's hard to figure out." I mean, give me some credit, I tried to hold out, but Sal seems to want to offer up information, and I'm desperate to try to understand Nikolai.

"Give him time. He's gonna make some mistakes, but just know that I've never seen him like this before."

"Like what?" Sal glances over at me, but before he can respond, his phone rings.

I go back to eating my sandwich. My thoughts now are on Sal saying that sex is casual for their lifestyle. Is that what Nikolai is after? It would be a casual thing. I hate to think of all the women he's been casual with before.

Sal gives me a nod when we pull up to my school, still on the phone. I mouth goodbye to him before I get out. It's my luck that the first person I see is Becky.

"Where's your brother?" Becky asks with a smirk. Is she referring to Nikolai? Did he tell her that?

"I don't have a brother," I mutter as I pass by her. Weirdly, she falls into step next to me. Did Nikolai tell her that he was my brother?

"The man from the other day. With the tattoos."

"He's my boyfriend," I lie. It slides so easily out of my mouth. Becky bursts into laughter.

"Fucking liar." She suddenly shoves me hard. I collide with another student before hitting the ground. I let out a yelp of pain. Do cheerleaders lift weights or something? She's freaky strong. Becky stands over me. I want to reach out and kick her, but her minions join her, surrounding me. "I want his number."

"I don't have it." That isn't a lie.

"I thought he was your boyfriend." Becky laughs harder, then her smile slips away in the blink of an eye. She might be a sociopath. "Well, you better get it by lunch, or you'll see I've only been doing child's play when toying with you." The smile lights up her face, but it doesn't meet her eyes. "Laters." She wiggles her fingers in a wave at me before strutting off with her minions.

Yep, a total sociopath.