Chapter 9 - Taylor

Lips meet lips and everything inside me shifts.

I have been kissed before, but it has never been like this. It is like a chemical reaction going off on my lips.

Nothing is comparable to the feeling that flows through me as TJ kisses me, and I hate that I love the sensation.

At the thought of TJ, I pull away slowly, eyes still closed. Our lips part and a gasp emerges from my throat.

I just kissed TJ Rubens—or, more precisely, I let TJ Rubens kiss me.

A flush rises and overtakes my entire body as my eyes open.

TJ's blue eyes meet my own, and I can see shock reverberating through his gaze.

He must be just as shaken by that kiss as I am.

I open my mouth, but no words come out, just hot air.

TJ looks from my eyes to my lips before he speaks. "I think you should come to my place to sober up."

His words take me aback, but I can feel myself nodding. I want to go to his place, and that thought alone terrifies me.

"Okay," I say, barely above a whisper.

I get into the cab, and TJ sits beside me.

He tells the driver our destination and I look out the window, fully aware of just how close TJ is to me.

The black fabric of his pants leg rubs against me and with each bump of the road, it feels like he is getting closer and closer.

The ride is silent and the air is thick with tension.

My heart races as I think about what I have just agreed to.

What is TJ expecting from me?

What am I expecting from TJ?

Is this night going to change everything between us?

It feels like it might, and I have no idea how I feel about that.

Before the kiss, I thought low of TJ, but after that kiss, it feels as if my entire world has spun upside down before shattering. And I don't know what to do with the pieces.

Do I let TJ help me pick them up?

Or do I hold on to the past and cut myself into the pieces as I pick them up alone?

My thoughts are interrupted by a hand on my arm.

"We're here," TJ says, pointing up.

My eyes follow and I see we are at a giant skyscraper.

"You live here?"

TJ nods with a guilty smile, "Yeah, top floor."

I roll my eyes, open my door, and get out, TJ following closely behind me. I can feel his hand on my lower back.

The building stands at least fifty stories high, and with how dark it is, I can't see the top of the building.

"You must have the most gorgeous view," I say breathlessly.

"I really do," TJ responds, looking at me.

My flush grows and I fear that my skin is a flaming red color.

His compliments hit different today.

There is just something endearing about the way he talks to me; no one has ever said the things he has to me before. Part of me wonders if this is all a game, but another part of me hopes it is not.

"Come on, it's getting cold out and my apartment is nice and warm."

TJ leads me to the elevator in the front of the building. He presses the top floor button, and the glass elevator ascends slowly. I watch the bustling city down below as we go higher and higher.

As we rise, I can feel the air getting thick with unspoken words.

Both of us clearly have something to say, but we keep it to ourselves.

I wonder what TJ wants to say and I know what I want to ask.

Why did he invite me here? And what are his intentions with me?

The elevator dings, alerting us to the fact we reached the top floor.

"After you," TJ gestures to the open doors.

"I have no idea where we are headed," I point out with a tilt of my head.

TJ chuckles. "Of course not."

He gets off the elevator and I follow. He turns to the right, and there is a door at the end of the short hallway. TJ pulls out a blue key fob and holds it up to a black pad on the door.

The pad turns green, and the door unlocks as my mouth falls open at the technology.

"That is beyond cool."

TJ turns and shoots me a wink, which causes my body to shudder.

"I'm the only one with this system, as I installed it myself."

I am impressed but try to hide it, not wanting to give him any more attention.

"Come on in, Taylor."

The way he says my name is silky smooth and causes me to trip over the threshold.

TJ catches me before I can fall, and the feel of his arms around me causes goosebumps to erupt over my skin as my jacket slips off, revealing my shoulder.

"Are you cold?"

I shake my head.

TJ smiles softly before helping me right myself, but as I look around his apartment, I am in awe.

I know that I am well-off with my job as a lawyer, but looking around his apartment, I see just what it means to live rich.

Every outside wall is glass and the inside is modern. The kitchen is humongous, and the island has a quartz countertop. The living room is spacious and fits a full L-shaped couch with two extra reclining chairs.

I continue to walk around his apartment, showing myself around, and TJ just follows behind me, letting me take in every room.

Each room seems larger than the last, which I didn't think was possible.

I finally reach a door that is the only one that's closed. Trying the handle, I discover it's unlocked, but stop myself from opening it.

TJ is just a hair's breadth away from me as he reaches around and puts his hand on mine.

We push the door open together and the lights come on automatically.

My heart stops as I realize we are in his bedroom.

It looks quite…normal.

There is a walk-in closet on the left and a wall of windows on the right. In the middle is the biggest bed I have ever seen, with white silk sheets. Besides being enormous, it looks mad comfortable.

"What do you think?" TJ says into my ear, and there go the goosebumps, returning in full force.

"You have a nice place."

"What's your favorite room?"

I start to turn, but TJ places his big hands on my hips and keeps me in place.

Swallowing, I confess in a whisper, "This one."

"Why don't you give the bed a try?"

I nod and walk to the bed before sitting on the edge. I look up and see TJ standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Comfortable, isn't it?"

Leaning back on my hands, I nod. The bed is very comfortable, but I can feel electricity in the air and that is distracting me from enjoying the pillowy soft mattress I am currently half-lying on.

"Mind if I join you?"

"It's your house," I hear myself saying.

Am I flirting with him?

TJ smiles as he takes slow, calculated steps toward me and then leans over me.

"Taylor."

He pauses, and I stare up into his round eyes. There is something in them that I cannot read, but I want to find out what exactly he is thinking.

"TJ," I say back.

"Have you ever been worshipped?"

My body freezes.

What is he talking about?

I open my mouth to ask just that, but TJ gets on his knees in front of me.

He slowly removes my shoes from each foot, and I swallow, throat suddenly dry.

"No, I haven't," I respond, unsure of where this night is leading but eager to find out.

"Mind if I show you?"

TJ licks his lips and places a kiss to my kneecap.

Stunned into silence, I nod.

TJ lets out a loud breath of relief. "I was hoping you would let me. You are a girl who deserves to be worshipped every day."

His words cause my dry throat to get even drier, and I am at a loss for words.

He spreads my knees apart, and I want to close them, but the alcohol flowing through my body gives me the courage to allow him to separate them.

"Is this okay?" TJ asks as he pushes my dress up to mid-thigh.

"Yes," I say hoarsely.

TJ kisses my thighs. "Lie back."

I comply.

Lying back with my knees on the edge of the bed, I realize I am almost fully exposed to TJ's eyes.

What must he be thinking?

Am I doing this right?

He pushes the hem of my dress up and I lift my butt up to allow him to reveal my black thong.

"So pretty," TJ whispers, and I am almost positive I am not supposed to hear that, but I smile.

My smile leaves my face and a groan escapes my mouth as TJ kisses my most intimate area.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Have you ever been eaten out before?"

"No."

"Do you mind if I show you what it's all about?"

I pause and think. If I allow TJ to do this, I'm not sure I'll be able to resist going further with him.

Do I want this?

Yes, I do very much.

"I want you to," I say, getting up on my elbows and making eye contact with him.

TJ's eyes are almost completely black as he gazes up at me from his knees, and a rush of liquid seeps from my core.

TJ holds my eyes as he rips my thong off of me, causing me to giggle.

"Hey, I liked those."

"I'll buy you a dozen of them."

My arms shake from my laughter, and TJ uses my distraction to lick a stripe up my core. I tense in the best way possible at the sensation.

"Just lie back and enjoy it, Taylor. I want you to feel like a queen."

I follow his instructions.

My legs fight to close as TJ uses his tongue on my core, licking and sucking. It drives me crazy.

Breathy moans fill the room, and it takes me a minute for me to realize those noises are indeed coming from me.

My hands lower and tangle in TJ's blonde hair and I pull as his tongue enters me, and all of a sudden, I see colors behind my eyes. My body tightens before releasing, and everything feels amazing. I have had small orgasms by myself before, but nothing this big.

It feels like I am riding a tidal wave, and then it comes crashing down.

TJ laps up everything as I come down from my orgasm.

"That was, wow."

TJ sits up and kisses me on the mouth, "That was just the beginning. Climb on the bed, love, let me show what else I can do."

I obey his command and crawl back on the bed, eager to see what else is coming.

"Take off your dress."

I quickly shuck off my dress as TJ undresses in front of me. I pause at my bra when I see TJ's toned chest and the thick line of his member beneath his white boxer briefs.

I have never seen a penis in real life before, and my mouth drops open at just the outline.

I may have had my doubts about going all the way, but in this moment, they evaporate. I want TJ Rubens to be my first.

"Let me," TJ says as he gets on the bed and makes his way towards me.

He undoes my bra with one hand expertly, but I have no time to be concerned about how he is so good at this before his mouth collides with my breast.

He sucks my nipple into his mouth and I almost combust.

The sensation of his hot tongue on my nipple causes another shudder to run through my body. He switches to my other breast and gives it the same treatment.

I lose track of time as TJ kisses my entire body from head to toe. He is proving that he knows what it is to worship a woman, and the whole time he keeps his underwear on.

Is this what I've been missing out on?

Would it feel this good if someone else was touching me?

As much as I am enjoying his lips on my body, I want them back on my own.

I pull TJ back up from kissing my breasts to my mouth.

His tongue invades my mouth and I fight it back, rolling us over so that I'm on top. I thrust my naked crotch against his boxer-clad center and feel just how hard he is for me. I didn't think it was possible for me to get even more turned on, but I am.

It hits me just now that I want to see all of him.

Reaching for the hem of his boxer briefs, TJ's hands stop my own.

"You don't have to."

I look him dead in the eye. "I want to. Let me see you."

TJ's jaw tightens, and for a moment, I fear that he is going to deny me this, but then he shimmies out of his underwear in the most adorable way possible. My laugh catches in my throat when I see his erection.

It is thicker than I was expecting, and long. It is a little scary, but overall it makes my mouth water. I reach out and take his penis in my hand. There is a vein on the side, and I run my finger along it.

"If you keep doing that, this isn't going to last long at all," TJ says through his teeth. "As much as I am enjoying this, we do have to talk. How far do you want to go tonight?"

"I want you inside of me," I confess my deepest desire through half-slitted eyes, trying to look sexy.

My look must work, since TJ bites his fist. "Fuck, okay. Have you had sex before?"

Do I lie?

He'll be able to tell, right?

Not wanting to ruin the moment but wanting to be honest, I tell the truth.

"No, but I'm ready. I want it now."

TJ nods and reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a condom.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything."

With that, TJ pushes me onto my back.

TJ starts to insert one finger into me, and it feels great. Over time, he adds two more fingers, until I beg him to fuck me.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

TJ rubs his penis along my core a few times, causing me to mewl beneath him with want and need. I may be a virgin, but I know about sex and am no prude. I want TJ and I want him bad.

"This may hurt."

I nod and TJ slowly pushes himself into me.

I can feel myself stretching to accommodate for his size, but I am glad he used his fingers on me first. Otherwise I think I would be getting split open right now.

I watch as his cock disappears inch by inch, and then I feel the pain. It is slight and sharp but fades after a minute.

"Are you okay?" TJ asks with a strained voice.

He must be holding himself back from moving anymore.

I nod. "You can move now."

"Thank goodness."

TJ starts thrusting in and out of me slowly.

The feeling of his member slipping in and out of my wet folds is hard to describe. His fingers made me feel stretched, but his penis makes me feel perfectly full. It is as if we were made to fit together.

TJ grunts in my ear as he picks up the pace, slamming his hips against mine over and over again, and I welcome the feeling.

I can feel myself reaching my peak pretty fast, and just a moment later I peak. Again.

My insides tighten as I release and orgasm.

TJ stiffens before he moves at double-speed before he stutters and cums right after me.

My skin is on fire from his touch, and as he lays on top of me, I feel on top of the world.

Who knew sex would feel this great?

Everyone. Everyone knows this.

I can't help but laugh at myself.

"What are you giggling about?" TJ asks me as he lifts himself off of me and out of me.

"Just how great sex is."

"You don't regret anything, do you?" TJ asks, rubbing the back of his head.

"No, I don't."

"Good, 'cause I don't, either."

TJ leans down and kisses me before going to his attached bathroom to remove the condom and clean up.

I look down at the bed and realize that there is a little blood on the covers.

"I think you'll have to change the sheets," I call out.

"I've got sheets in the bathroom. I'll change them. Why don't you go get something to drink? You must be thirsty."

With TJ gone, I stand up on my wobbly legs and head to his kitchen to get a glass of water.

As I walk through his kitchen, I smack into a table with a vase with flowers in it. I knock a picture frame down and quickly pick it up.

Thankfully, the glass from the picture didn't break, but I almost drop it a second time as I stare at it.

It's a picture of TJ, Shane, and me the summer he called me a whale.

I am hit with that memory and tears prickle my eyes.

I let TJ have sex with me when he used to bully me.

Guilt fills my soul and I feel trapped.

I am still a little tipsy and my clothes are in his room.

I take a deep breath and get that glass of water.

It is late and I need to think.

Why would TJ keep this picture?

Why would he have a picture with me in it, anyways?

Nothing is adding up.

I down the water and feel sweat forming under my armpits.

"Where are you?" TJ calls out, and I jump.

I don't have many options, so I try and flee.

"Can you call me a cab?"

"We just had sex. I am not sending you home. You can stay the night and I'll drive you home in the morning. I will warn you, I'm a cuddler."

At TJ's tone, I relax. Him not kicking me out is a good sign but confuses me even more.

He hands me a t-shirt and I put it on. It smells like aftershave and some fancy cologne, which is perfectly TJ.

We get in his bed and cuddle, but to my surprise, TJ falls asleep almost instantly.

As I lie there in his arms, I decide that sleeping on it is for the best.

Sleep evades me, though, and I spend the night contemplating what to do.

Do I sneak out?

Do I stay?

TJ's known who I am this entire time but knowing he has a picture of me in his apartment confuses me beyond measure. What does this mean?

All these thoughts play through my mind through the night.

As the first rays of sunshine enter TJ's apartment, I have made up my mind.

I gather my clothes and sneak out of his apartment, determined to never have a repeat of this night again.