Chapter 9 - Lorelei

For the first time since I had gotten here, the front door was unlocked. But it wasn’t because Mark trusted me anymore. It was simply because the group of women currently standing on the other side wouldn’t be able to get in.

“Hey there!” the one in front said, beaming. “You must be Lorelei.”

“That’s me,” I muttered. Heat flooded my face, and I was suddenly self-conscious. I didn’t think I had been around this many women at once since I was in school. The skin on the back of my neck prickled uncomfortably, and I had a sudden urge to run.

The woman in front must have seen how nervous I looked because she gave a warm laugh. “Don’t worry. There’s a lot of us, but we don’t bite. I’m Georgia.”

“Right,” I said, already fully aware that committing the names of what looked like ten women to memory in a short time span would be nearly impossible. But I was going to have to try. “It’s nice meeting all of you. Come on in.”

It felt strange inviting them into Mark’s house as if I was a joint owner. If the women noticed anything nervous or odd on my part, they politely ignored it.

Georgia rattled off everyone else’s names as they walked in. Sure enough, said names quickly blurred together until it was nearly impossible to distinguish one woman from the other, and they soon blurred into a single mass. Still, I nodded and smiled even as panic began to creep in.

What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t someone who had friends. This wasn’t me.

“And this is Holly,” Georgia said as she finished, gesturing at the pale, dark-haired girl. She smiled and waved at me.

“Who’s your mate?” I asked.

Holly giggled. It had a pleasant, musical lilt to it. “No mate,” she said. “The girls just adopted me into the group one day, and I never left.”

“Not that she has any option,” Andi said, looping an arm around Holly. “She’s too much fun, so she’s stuck with us.”

“Hey, is it true you’re a witch?” Evelyn, a woman with vibrant red hair, asked.

“Uh, yeah,” I replied.

“Cool!” the one I was fairly certain was named Thea said. “I’ve always wondered what that was like. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” I stammered. “I mean, yeah? I guess? It’s sort of like breathing to me, so I don’t know how else to describe it. I mean, it’s kinda… um… well, I’m not very good, so I’m probably not the best person to ask, but it’s really neat.”

“How does it work?” she asked.

I blinked. “It’s… complicated?”

“Oh.” Thea looked a little disappointed, and guilt squirmed inside me.

“Sorry,” I said, blushing. “I’m just not a great conversationalist.”

“It’s fine!” Freya said. “Some of us are conversational enough for two or three of us.” She pointed at Thea and Evelyn.

“You’re one to talk,” Thea teased back.

“Anyway, no need to be nervous! But if you need to loosen up again, wine is an excellent tongue-loosener,” Evelyn said.

“I don’t know if we have any,” I admitted.

“We’re lucky I think ahead, then.” Evelyn held up a bag, giving a wide grin. “I brought enough wine for all of us.”

The rest of the group piled in, and Andi and Holly dragged me over to the couch while Evelyn hunted around for wine glasses, all of them chatting animatedly, talking over one another yet holding a consistent and coherent conversation at the same time.

I’d half-expected the conversation to be me sitting on the sidelines while the other women kept spouting inside jokes at one another that I wouldn’t understand. That would be the best-case scenario. Worst case, it turned out the women were all catty and shot passive-aggressive barbs at me. Instead, they made an effort to rope me into the conversation, asking about my magic and what sort of hobbies I had. They tactfully avoided Inara and Mark, though I could sense those topics lingering over the group.

I didn’t know if it was because of the isolation or simply because of how sweet the girls were toward me, but something about them put me at ease in a way I wouldn’t have imagined possible. I started smiling, laughing at their jokes, and chiming in on the conversation. It was a strange, almost foreign feeling, and I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Finally, it dawned on me, and the realization might have bowled me over had I not been sitting down.

I felt included.

In hindsight, it should have been fairly obvious. Except I had never really felt it since my parents died, and definitely not on this level. I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting when Mark suggested they come over. Mostly, I’d thought about my time in high school.

At best, I’d been expecting awkward, stilted conversation for a little while until they politely made their exit, at which point I’d never spend time with any of them ever again. At worst, I’d anticipated a recreation of some of my worst moments at school.

But no. I felt like I had known these girls all my life. I didn’t realize how having this type of friend group could change your perspective on everything. Maybe opening up and actually becoming friends with people wasn’t the worst option after all.

I hadn’t thought about what I would do when all of this was over. All the things with Inara were so pressing that thinking about any “after” seemed absurd. I supposed I would go back to my cottage and my old life. That was what I wanted, right? I liked being by myself.

For the first time, however, I wondered what it might be like if I didn’t go back. What would life be like if I stayed here? Not with Mark, just in Brixton. If Brixton had a human and an absent already, I couldn’t see them having much problem with a witch living nearby. They might even find it useful. Maybe I could actually do some good for the town. Maybe the girls and I could stay friends.

The idea felt strange. Almost uncomfortable, like an ill-fitting second skin. Just the thought of it made me feel like an imposter. That sort of social life wasn’t for me. But the more I thought about it, the more tantalizing it became, and the more tempted I was to fantasize about it.

By the time the girls left several hours later, I felt more conflicted than ever. Part of me wished they had never come at all. I didn’t want to make connections here. I just wanted to go home.

Right?