Chapter 15 - Kaiden

I sighed, still enjoying the way Kit felt against me even as my gut churned thanks to her words. I had to know this conversation was coming, but damn, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it.

Nodding with my brows up, I looked down at the bed and then back up at her. "Okay. Shoot."

"Human. We're starting there," Kit said, eyeing me hard. "What was the deal with the human thing? Jet wasn't—isn't—like that."

I had to sigh again, but it shifted into a self-pitying laugh as I licked my lips, readying myself to talk.

I wasn't one to open doors to the past. Between all the shit I had to deal with, from my parents to my grandmother to relocating to a new pack, I didn't relish dwelling on the pain—or on how much of an idiot I was.

But something about Kit's charming smile made me feel okay to open up, to give her the truth I'd been sitting on for years.

"I lost my parents to a stupid car accident with a human driver. I was left alone with Kenzie, trying to find my place in a new pack, and when the usual ‘hate them all' bullshit circulated from the other younger wolves…well, it was the easiest place to stash my grief. The easiest target to blame for something that was truly just a horrible turn of fate."

Kit's eyes flared wide, and after a moment of staring at me gobsmacked, she shook herself. A scoff shot out of her, and Kit blinked, looking between me and where her body was pressed against mine.

"I…damn, Kaiden. Why didn't you just say something? I would have been understanding about your…well, no, the teasing still sucked. But of anyone, I'm the one who probably would have understood your pain the best."

I laughed. "Try telling that to a teenage wolf hopped on hormones. I was way too stupid and stubborn to understand that. Maturity, as Jet has reminded me often, is a battle won over time."

Kit cocked her head, her expression softening before she rolled her eyes at me. "Okay, fine. I get it. Sort of. When…when did it change for you?"

Sucking in a deep breath, I remembered the day she left. I thought back to how that had really cemented the consequences of my actions and about the regret that had immediately consumed me.

"That grief fueled me for a long time. I don't think I realized how much I regretted my actions until the day you ran off. I started opening up to the concept of humans, finally listening to what Jet has always been telling me. What your Papa Glen had tried to tell both me and Gray. And I don't know…"

Another sigh hit me, and Kit held the silence, allowing me the space to think.

"There were so many other things I had to worry about after a while. Wolves were getting sick, Kenzie was training to heal them, and you were gone. It left no easy target. I had to face some of the shit I was dealing with. Last year…it got bad for us. Low numbers, declining births, and then one of Terrance Collins's wolves killed Jet's beta."

Kit furrowed her brow, and I could see her searching her memories. "Deacon?"

I nodded. "We had a serious run-in with Terrance, and then, in one of the weirdest turns of fate I've ever seen, Jet's mate showed up. She was a wolfless shifter he'd met before, and I finally came to terms with my own wolfless grandmother and the strange visions she had before she died.

"Seeing that magic for myself, seeing how many of our beliefs about keeping our packs separate really were true, hit me like a sledgehammer. Jet had been working with other alphas for a while, and all the shit with Terrance and the V?lva and the horrible things that man did to his pack came to a head."

It was impossible not to see Kit struggling to take in all the information, but damn, I had to admit to myself how good it felt to get this all off my chest. I'd kept it pretty locked down. I hated to be a burden to Jet or Gray or anyone, for that matter.

Letting this out…I thought it was exactly what I'd been needing for so long.

"What do you mean, came to a head?" she asked, her brows raising.

"Terrance intended to sacrifice Jet's mate as penance for Deacon. He didn't know she was his mate, of course, and when he found out, he attacked. Senna—Jet's mate—was pregnant with his twins and her visions got stronger. We learned that one of our own, Leon, had betrayed us and was working with Terrance and his beta, Reginald. When they attacked the house…"

Kit's eyes were so wide that I had to laugh. "Tell me to slow down if it's too much."

She rolled her eyes again, shaking her head. "Oh, finish your story, asshole. My human brain is keeping up just fine."

"Senna has some type of ability as a magicked shifter. She can slow time. When Jet was injured, she did it enough to let me attack Terrance. I killed him that day, but Leon and Reginald were in the wind. Our pack had been hurt, but it was because of this wolfless woman that we survived at all. Somehow…all that nonsense about our differences that we'd been preached at by wolves long since dead, it didn't matter anymore."

Her lips parting, Kit stared at me. I watched the cogs turn in her mind, and after a moment, she shifted next to me, glancing down before nodding and smirking at me.

"So that's how you became alpha. You killed Terrance. This is his old pack."

I nodded again. "Yes. Gray is Jet's new beta. I'm an alpha now, and the infuriating human from my past just walked into my house after escaping my new enemy because apparently I just can't catch a break, and there's a drug running rampant in my territory."

Silence hit but was immediately broken as Kit and I laughed out loud.

There was still such a wall between humans and wolves, and I knew that this thing with Kit might still not be possible. But at least the truth was out there. If nothing else, it felt damn good to be rid of that weight.

"Look, Kit, I don't regret last night, but I know it doesn't exactly…change things. This situation is far from light and breezy. I just..."

I struggled to think of the right words as I watched Kit's expression fall. God, after everything, I still didn't know what we truly were to each other. Mate or not, Kit had her own life, and I had mine. I couldn't just force the future to do what I wanted it to.

"Right after this, I have to go prepare for an incursion that might very well go terribly. I couldn't have that happen and not have done this with you. I knew I'd regret it. I don't…ugh, there is so much going on, and I wish I had more time to just talk with you about all this. But maybe…after?"

Kit stared gently, nodding only enough to be noticeable. I had no idea what was going on inside her head, and I would've given anything to be able to read her mind. But before I could say anything else, Kit smiled tightly, sitting back and scooting closer to the edge of the bed.

"After." She nodded. "It'll be better then. I…I'm going to clean up. I'll, umm, I'll see you at breakfast, I guess."

All I could do was nod, and then Kit slipped away into my bathroom and closed the door behind her.