Chapter 9 - Kaiden

I needed to shift into my wolf. I needed to shift right fucking now, or I was going to explode.

Tension crawled through my muscles and tendons, yanking on my bones so damn hard it ached . It was so much worse than the typical urge. I hadn't felt anything this strong since my first time transforming into my wolf. And still, this felt…different.

I was furious. Eli had laid his fucking hands on my fucking mate , and I was going to gut him. The thoughts were insane, completely ridiculous and beyond. Kit was not my mate. She was human. I didn't have a mate, and that was perfectly fine.

What the hell is wrong with me? Let her go, Kaiden. Get your hands off Kit. Now.

My brain sent the message to my hands, but they weren't listening. I was so damn close to her, and my wolf was driving this ship a lot more than I was at present. Her scent, that lilac swirl of spring, was too close. It was everywhere, and my blood hummed with not just the need to take off into a primal run.

But also the need to take…her.

"Kaiden?" Kit's voice was low, a thready whisper that made my cock twitch against my leg. "What are you doing? Back off."

I was trying, dammit, but my fucking wolf didn't want to let up. Unthinking, I leaned in, getting my face to the crook of Kit's neck and breathing deeply. That lilac smell flooded my nose, and it was all I could do not to fucking rut her right then and there.

How was this possible? How was this still so damn strong? I was sure that my stupid little crush on Kit had been the result of raging hormones and a good ol' dose of "the strange." She was human, after all, and there were a slim few wolves who knew what one felt like.

But even after all these years of separation, I was inexplicably drawn to her.

Because she's your mate , my wolf whispered in my mind, and for the first time in years, I was finding it really fucking hard to ignore him.

I had to do something, though. At this point, Kit probably thought I was out of my fucking mind. And she wasn't far off.

"I'm…trying…"

"Well, try harder, asshole. I'm not getting bit because you can't keep your damn cool."

I flicked my eyes to Kit's and the growl that rumbled out of my chest was not wholly anger. It swelled behind my ribs, bubbling up as a groan broke free. There was no way she didn't hear it, and as I narrowed my stare on her, Kit's eyes flared wider, her lips gently parting.

Fucking hell, she looks damn edible like that. I could just tear her stupid, flimsy clothes off and stick my—

No. Stop it, Kaiden .

"It's not like that… Kit ." I could hardly recognize my own voice, darkness and obvious lust behind the words.

That growl rumbled again, and I looked away, clenching my jaw so hard that it cracked. It was a fight, an internal one, yes, but I broke out into a sweat regardless, my mind at war with my body to stop this.

I didn't know if I could, not now, after all this had happened.

"Kaiden, I—"

"You what, little lamb?"

Okay, who the fuck are you right now? Get a hold of yourself.

I blinked several times, huffing as I yanked my head away from her. My veins felt like acid had been dumped inside me, and the claws at my fingers, as well as the fangs descending into my mouth, grew longer, sharper .

"Kit, I…I'm not this person…I don't…." Her scent hit me again, and I was finally able to reel back enough to get my hands off her shoulders. "I'm not trying…to intimidate you. I…fucking hell."

I turned away, not facing her helping me to focus on anything besides the desperate need to claim her, to breed her.

That fucking Eli scarred her perfect body. God, I did so much worse to her with just words.

Guilt swelled behind the incredible urge to shift, and the heightened emotions didn't do anything to help me back away from that cliff. If anything, my wolf wanted out all the more. Running off my frustration and regret, fucking it out of my system, was all that bastard wanted to do right now.

A hand landed on my shoulder—Kit's, of course—and I damn near melted. I enjoyed the way her tiny fingers squeezed me, my mind imagining them doing so much more.

"What are you saying, Kaiden? This…this is really fucking weird, and I need you to be straight with me. Why are you acting like this?"

My eyes rolled shut, the need to escape this damned room screaming in my brain and blood. I clenched my jaw again, my hands balling into fists hard enough to make my claws dig into my flesh. The warmth of fresh blood oozed over my skin, and I shook from fighting the change this hard.

It wasn't wise to fight a change. It just made it all hurt that much more. But I just couldn't. If my wolf came forward, there was no stopping him. He'd take everything Kit had to offer and so much more.

"I'm trying not to hurt you, Kit," I ground out, my cock straining behind my jeans as my wolf howled in my head. "I…I couldn't…but you're so…I need to cla—"

But I stopped myself before the words fully left me. Kit wasn't responsible for how I was feeling, and I wouldn't put that on her. I'd been a fucking terrible presence in her life before. I didn't want that now. I couldn't be just another Eli to her.

"You what?" I could hear the intrigue and curiosity in her voice, and that primal part of me wanted to show her so fucking badly.

For a brief moment, I turned around. I was frozen there, looking at Kit, every fiber of my being wanting to reach out and claim her as mine. It was like holding your breath underwater, that burning urge to let it all go when you'd been under for too long.

And I had a feeling that this would have just as devastating of consequences as opening my mouth under the surface.

"I…can't."

I spun around again, going straight for the door and not looking back. I ran down the stairs and then to the front door of my alpha house. The pounding of my steps ricocheted up my legs as I rushed for the tree line. My skin rippled with energy, and like I rubber band, I finally let it snap down.

I was brought to my knees as the shift hit me—hard as a fucking Mack truck going eighty down the interstate. My bones damn near exploded from the force of my wolf bursting through me, and as my skin gave way to fur, my claws and fangs shooting forward, I headed straight for the forest.

The last thing I was able to guarantee was that my wolf would be nowhere near Kit when he took over. The smell of the trees and fresh prey within them would have to be enough to distract the bastard and keep him from going back there and…

And fucking Kit within an inch of her life.