26. Layla
Drew grabbed smelling salts and cracked them under Sean's nose. As Sean started to come around, he stepped back to join the others. They would follow my lead and do whatever I needed them to. This was my show. Sean's head snapped up, and he struggled against his restraints briefly before sagging.
Slowly, he looked up at me, and I could see the defeat in his eyes. "Mo stoirín, please don't do this," he pleaded.
The pet name was like a dagger to my heart. "I haven't decided what this is yet," I whispered. "Why?"
"You know I wasn't in a good place then," he began. "I didn't feel like I fit in here and was desperate to save you. To make sure you lived. I thought if I could just convince you to walk away, we could find some corner of the world to figure it all out together. Somewhere to be safe and happy together. All of us. That's all I wanted. I told you I was lost. I explained it."
"I remember," I replied. "What I don't remember is you confessing to being the mole who gave me up to Anton. You didn't think that was something you should have told me? You didn't realize that was your moment to come clean? Instead, you pretended it didn't happen and let me find out from Anton!" My voice rose as all the emotions I had been shoving into boxes throughout the day overflowed like an episode of Hoarders.
"You're right. I should have told you then, but I was afraid to lose you," he replied.
"Because of you, I lost our baby," I replied. "How could I ever forgive you for that? How could you forgive yourself?!" I yelled.
"I haven't forgiven myself, Stór," he said, tears filling his eyes. "I just shoved it deep down. I hated myself when I found out you had miscarried! I still do. I knew that was my punishment for betraying you. That I would have to live with it for the rest of my life." His voice cracked as tears trailed down his face.
Were they tears of sorrow? Or regret? Or maybe just tears from fear of dying. If he walked out of this room, would I ever be able to trust him?
"That was when I decided I was done trying to convince you to leave," he finally continued. "I would be the man you needed, the man I should have been from the start. I changed! You've all seen it! I can't change the past, but I can make damn sure it is never repeated."
"So can we," Zach said ominously.
"You still haven't told us why," Tyler stated.
Sean cleared his throat and composed himself before he answered the million-dollar question. "I thought that if I couldn't convince you, maybe Anton could scare you into leaving."
"Who contacted who?" I asked.
"He contacted me. He correctly assumed I would be the weak link in the group. He offered me money and many other things to kill you. I told him there wasn't a chance in hell I would ever do that."
"How noble of you," Drew scoffed.
"But then the kidnapping idea came to me, and I made a deal with him. He wasn't supposed to hurt you, just scare you. And if I had any idea that you could have been pregnant, I never would have gone through with it. You have to believe me." You could cut his desperation with a knife. And the unfortunate part was that I did believe him. I knew Sean loved me, and I knew that he would never have done something to hurt our child if he had known about it. But did that matter?
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to sort through my feelings. I felt lost. My heart was utterly shattered, and I wasn't sure there was a way to glue it back together. Sean had broken my trust and my heart. Tears escaped from beneath my eyelids, and I quickly brushed them away.
"Layla, I love you," Sean said. "And I know you love me. I fucked up. I admit it, but I'm only human. I don't expect you to forgive me today. I don't expect you to ever fully forgive me at all. But I know with time, we can work through this. We can find the right path together. The only people who know about this are Anton, Tommy, and the people in this room. Don't end our chances for the happily ever after we've dreamed about."
"You don't think Anton won't spread this to get people to turn on her?" Zach asked. "You're a fucking liability, bro. How the fuck are we supposed to just pretend everything is fine? That you're a trusted member of our family when you've proven that you aren't?"
"I saved you today," Sean replied. "I didn't have to do that. I could have let them kill you and then killed that fucker and made my escape. But I didn't because you are my family, and I love all of you. I couldn't stand by and watch you die. I'm the reason you walked out of that warehouse today. That has to count for something."
"You knowingly sent her into the hands of that monster!" Zach yelled. "It doesn't count for shit!"
"Zach," Colton admonished. "Enough."
I looked at Colton, who had remained silent until then. He met my eyes calmly, and as I searched his eyes, I realized that he wasn't going to give away his thoughts. This was a personal matter, but it was also a business matter, and I was the only one who could decide what to do.
I turned back to Sean and looked into his blue eyes. "I love you, Sean. I love you so fucking much. Differently than I loved the others. My love for them grew over time, but it was like an explosion with you. You were the only person I could trust when I had to run away, and you proved over and over again through the years how much I could trust you. That you would always have my back." A sob cut my words off, and I ran to him, cupping his face and kissing him deeply.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered as I pressed my lips to his one last time and stepped away, wishing I could have felt his arms wrapped around me one final time. I unholstered my gun as I took several more steps back. "I will always love you, but some things are more important than love. My father was unknowingly surrounded by men he couldn't trust, and we all know how that ended. I can't risk the same thing happening again."
"Layla, don't do this. Please!" he shouted as he began to struggle against his bindings again. "You don't have to do this, baby. Just think about it a little longer."
I raised my gun, and my hands shook as I blinked back tears. I needed to get myself together so that Sean's death was instant. I could do that much for him. I took calming breaths and worked on shoving every emotion I had into a box so that I could get through this.
My hands were still shaking when Colton stepped in front of me and gently took the gun from me. "You don't have to do this yourself, Hellcat," he said softly. "You don't have to be the one to pull the trigger. Don't do this to yourself. Let me do it. Let me do this for you."
I nodded as I started sobbing into his chest. Colton's arms wrapped around me, and he kissed my head. "We've got you, baby. We'll get through this together. Why don't you go upstairs and crawl into bed? We'll be up as soon as we're finished here."
I didn't respond as I turned from him and left the room without looking at the others.
"Layla!" Sean yelled. "Layla! I love you! I understand why you feel you have to do this, but please, baby. Give us time. Don't let this be the end of our story."
Sean's pleas followed me into the hall.
Before the door shut, I heard him say, "I forgive you," and then his words were silenced forever.
I stumbled into the wall at the sound of the gunshot. It felt like I was shot in the heart as whatever pieces still existed there turned to sand. I slid down the wall and curled into a ball as sobs wracked my body.
How would I ever look at myself in the mirror again?
I was a monster.