Chapter 11

All of the kids were down. Lila had passed out in Bulldog's arms on the walk back to their house. Cassie had returned earlier, not wanting to remain outside or at the party longer. She was definitely making progress though. Abby held Georgie and Louisa had Caleb. His mom was so happy that Abby was taking this step to move forward. She'd even gone to get Abby's suitcase from Angel's porch while Abby and Bulldog got the three younger ones settled. After a quick peak into Cassie's room to find her also asleep, Bulldog headed back down the stairs.

Abby and Louisa were embraced by the front door. Both ladies had tears in their eyes, though Bulldog wasn't entirely sure why.

"You've come so far, baby," his mom was saying to Abby. "I am so proud of you."

"Thank you," Abby replied with a hitch in her voice. "Thank you for everything. You've been more of a mom to me these past couple of months than mine was my entire life."

Finally the two separated. They wiped each other's tears and then his mom placed a kiss on Abby's forehead. She smiled over at Bulldog. "Good night, you two."

"Buona notte, Mamma," Bulldog said. As his mom headed out the door, Bulldog came up behind Abby and placed his arms around her waist. She leaned back against his chest with a sigh. "How tired are you?" he asked gently.

"I'm tired," she acknowledged, "but not too tired." Abby turned in his arms. She looped her hands around his neck and looked up at him. "I want to try to make love tonight."

Bulldog couldn't help his reaction to those words. His dick twitched in his pants, his heart started pounding harder, and his blood heated. "I love you," he told her. "Before we do this, I need you to swear you won't push through. If something hurts, if something feels wrong, if you're uncomfortable for any reason, you need to tell me. Swear to me, Red."

"I will," she vowed. "I know that this might not happen. I know that that doesn't mean it'll never happen. But I do want this, José. You have been so patient and so sweet regarding intimacy. I just might need you to be a little bit more patient with me."

"I told you once before, we don't have to have penetrative sex to be intimate. We'll figure this out, Red. You and me. It's no one's business but our own what we do or don't do in the bedroom." Then he added offhandedly, "Well, us and maybe Dr. Skurja."

Abby giggled. "Take me to bed, José."

He lifted her. Her legs went around his waist and she continued holding on around his neck. He locked the front door, turning off lights as they journeyed down the hallway. Because he could, he opened the door of the nursery for one last peek inside at their babies. Both were sleeping soundlessly in their cribs.

After closing the door, he murmured in her ear, "You know, I don't think I ever thanked you for making me a dad."

He felt her grin against his cheek. "You never have to thank me for that. You're such a good dad. It's like you were born to love our kids."

"And you," he reminded her. He walked into their bedroom and turned on the light. Dr. Skurja was very specific with him about making sure Abby could see him. To always remain in her line of sight and continue talking so, even if she had her eyes closed, she would know who she was in the bed with.

Bulldog lowered Abby's feet to the ground. "You're in charge, Red. We do this however you want. I can remain clothed until you're comfortable. Whatever you need."

She trailed a finger down the buttons of his dress shirt. "Can I undress you?"

"Red, you can do whatever the hell you want to me. I'm yours to command."

Abby looked over at the nightstand and saw the monitor for the nursery was on. She took a step backwards and closed the bedroom door. Pressing back against it, she said, "I think I want a show. I'm going to go get comfortable on the bed. You stay there and take off whatever piece of clothing I tell you to."

He grinned widely. His cock was pressing against his zipper, demanding his pants be the first thing to go. "Yes, ma'am."

Abby hurried over to the bed. She wasn't trying to sway her hips or walk sexily. There was a rush behind her steps that he took to mean impatience. And definitely some nervousness.

Abby took her time arranging the pillows how she liked. He stayed where he was, completely entranced by her. She had an innocence about her that was refreshing.

Finally, Abby settled back with a sigh. She kept her eyes closed for a minute. Bulldog was wondering if she'd fallen asleep when she popped them back open. "Okay. Boots and socks first."

Bulldog kept eye contact with her as he walked up to the bed and lifted a boot onto the footboard. Slowly, he untied his boot, loosening the crossed laces, before slipping his socked foot out. The boot plopped down to the floor. Still looking directly at her, he lowered the black sock down his calf to his ankle, under his heel, and off of his toes. The sock fell down onto the boot.

Abby's breath caught. "That should not have been so hot."

Bulldog lowered his foot back down to the floor with a chuckle. "Still got one more to go."

"Fine," she waved him on, "but hurry it up. If you taking off your boot was that sexy, I can't wait until you take off your pants."

He laughed, then kicked his other boot off and took off the other sock. "What's next, naughty girl? You got me out of my boots and you didn't even buy me dinner first."

"Shirt," she pointed. "But slow, like you're doing a strip tease."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Are you reading this from a script or something?"

She pulled her phone out from under a pillow. "No, but how would you feel about pictures?"

"Take whatever you want," he told her. "But since our six-year-old daughter likes to play with our phones, make sure you hide the ones that are X-rated."

"Good point," Abby murmured. "Maybe we'll skip the pictures tonight." She put her phone on the nightstand. "Shirt, mister. Off."

Bulldog took a step back. He'd removed his cut and tie earlier, so he was down to his shirt, undershirt, boxer briefs, and pants. He made sure he had her full attention before moving his hands up to the top button. He went slow, taking his time with each button. Even when every instinct he had wanted to rip the shirt off and not care if he ripped the buttons in the process.

When he got to the final button, he stopped for several seconds. He could see her breath was heavier, her eyes dilated. This wasn't an act for her. She was turned on.

Bulldog dropped the shirt over one shoulder, flexing his arm muscles as he did. Her grin widened. Then he dropped the other shoulder. Bulldog straightened his arms and allowed gravity to pull the shirt down. It sank to the floor at his feet.

"Pants," she ordered shortly.

Without saying a word, he popped the button of his pants. There was no way she couldn't see his erection, even under the black material. Bulldog was a big man. His six-five stature wasn't the only thing large about him. Like any man, he'd measured. When erect, he was just over eight inches with a heavy girth. He'd never thought he'd wish for a smaller penis but, now that Abby was lying before him and they were finally ready to make love, he wondered if his size, more than the physical act itself, would scare her.

It was the determination in Abby's gaze that prompted him forward. He saw no fear, no hesitation in her expression. She looked heated and impatient.

Bulldog lowered and stepped out of his dress pants. They too remained on the floor where he left them. He only had the one pair of nicer pants but he could care less if they got wrinkled right then.

In his boxer briefs and undershirt, he waited for her next command.

As soon as she said, "Undershirt," though, it was Bulldog who hesitated. Abby cocked her head in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Bulldog shook his head. He reached over his head, gripped the shirt, and pulled it off in one swift motion. He heard Abby's gasp but had his eyes on the white undershirt as it journeyed down to the carpet.

Abby moved to her hands and knees, crawling her way to the end of the bed. She sat up and motioned him closer. "Come here."

Bulldog obeyed. He stepped up to the footboard. Abby raised a shaky hand to the ink imbedded in his skin. Since he'd hit puberty, Bulldog's pecks had had a tracing of dark fuzz over them. The hair darkened and thickened along his chest bone in a long line towards his navel. Like his beard, the dark hair was now mixed with gray.

He had various tattoos all over his body. On the back of his right calf, he had a pink breast cancer ribbon with his mom's first and middle name. Two flying ravens symbolizing his relationship with his brother and a pen on an open book with pair of boots on a sandy desert for his published book series were on his left forearm. He had two VDMC tattoos: the first was a large demon logo on his back and the second was a picture of his '65 Glide with Sergeant at Arms under it on his left upper arm. He had a colorful sleeve down his right arm with the American Flag, Army symbol, the words This We Will Defend, and an image of his dog tags with his service number and years of service.

However, none of those tattoos were the one that held Abby's attention. The one she was tracing with a light finger was the Celtic symbol of eternal love on his left peck. Two hearts were entwined, one right-side up and the other upside-down, with the infinity symbol interlocking horizontally across the middle. The ink of the hearts was red with black outline and shading; the infinity symbol was yellow. At the X where the infinity sign crossed in the middle were four names: Cassandra, Lila, Caleb, and Georgianna. On the edges of the infinity loops were the words, Forever Loved and Forever Sheltered.

The right-side up heart had writing across its two humps too. Abigail June and My Heart, My Love, My Soul. The upside-down heart's writing was right-side up and read Two Lives, One Heart, One Journey and Mine to Love, Mine to Protect.

It had taken Angel three sessions to get it done.

"Do you see where your name is?" His voice sounded gruff even to his own ears. Abby nodded. "That was put there years ago. I was sixteen actually. I had to forge my dad's signature, took a bus up to Pittsburgh and got it done. It was my first tattoo. My dad was furious. Not because I'd forged his signature, but because I'd gotten a girl's name on my chest. Told me I'd regret it one day."

"The day you got my letter," she assumed sadly.

"No," he corrected. "Not even then. You asked me about past girlfriends once. I'd told you it had only been you." Bulldog nodded down to his chest. "Now you have proof. I've never regretted putting your name on me, Abs. My dad was wrong."

A tear ran down her cheek. "When did you get the rest of this done?"

"I've been going to Angel's tattoo shop. She's had to do it in sessions because of the shading and me not having that much kid-free time." Then, because he knew there was no way he couldn't keep it a secret, he added, "And she was also working on my back."

Abby's eyes went wide. "Your back? What did you do?"

Rather than tell her, he showed her. Bulldog turned.

The Via Daemonia logo was a smiling horned demon with two crossing rifles behind it. The top rocker said Via Daemonia and the bottom said Mount Grove, PA. Between the two rockers was the club's motto; the left said Cum Honore Ministravimus, which was Latin for ‘With Honor We Served', and on the right Cum Honore Equitamus, which meant ‘With Honor We Ride'. He'd had Angel do the work within a week of her opening her new tattoo studio Inked Ya when she'd still been a prospect.

Since it takes six to eight weeks between removing a tattoo to when a tattoo artist can safely add a new design, Bulldog had had the words in the bottom rocker Mount Grove, PA removed shortly after Abby had returned. It now stated Property of Red.

He felt Abby's hand touch her nickname. Her voice was shaky and low. "I love it. Them. Both of them. God, José, I had no idea you'd done this."

"I swore Angel to secrecy. Also, it hasn't been bathing suit weather. You and I have also remained fully clothed around each other." Slowly he turned back around. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He cupped her face, using his thumbs to wipe them away.

"Make love to me, José."

* * *

Abby had always lovedthe gold flecks in his brown irises. They made her think of treasure and the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. As his eyes heated with arousal, those gold flecks brightened.

He was standing at the end of the bed in nothing but his black boxer briefs, but he might as well have been naked. The thin material hid nothing.

José's body was a work of art—and she wasn't referring to his beautiful tattoos. God, she loved those tattoos. She planned to lick and kiss them a lot over their future together. José's arms were bulky with muscle and had veins popping up under his tanned skin. He had a six pack with a dark happy trail running to his groin. She loved the matting of hair he had over his chest. No wonder he was always so warm.

José lifted his hands to the back of her dress. He stopped and waited. Abby nodded permission and José lowered the zipper of her forest green dress. She helped loosen the bodice until the material pooled at her knees on the bed. Her lacy green bra and panties set was new and purchased specifically for this occasion.

Gooseflesh rose over her freckled skin as his eyes roamed over her. He'd helped her shower enough times during and after her pregnancy that he was already aware of what she looked like naked. As hard as he'd tried to keep her modesty and be respectful, there was no way that he hadn't seen certain parts of her body after bathing her daily for nearly six weeks.

Seeing her now would be different. He'd been acting in a caretaker role before. Now? Abby looked up into his golden-brown eyes. Now, he was her husband.

From the time she'd realized she loved José Santiago, she'd dreamed of her wedding to him. While legally, they were married, Abby wasn't sure she felt married to him before this moment. They hadn't had a ceremony or a party. They didn't even have rings. She wondered if he'd mind having a wedding like Lucky and Harper's today.

Then she'd nearly laughed out loud. It wouldn't matter if he minded; as soon as Abby mentioned she wanted a wedding, he'd give one to her. Just as she'd give him anything within her power that he desired.

José leaned down and kissed her softly. "What are you thinking about so hard, Red?"

"Marrying you," she said honestly.

He lifted his head. "We're already married."

"I meant a real wedding. The dress, flowers, party. All of it. Would you mind?"

José shook his head. "No, not if it's what you want."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Which is exactly what I was thinking. I mean it, José. Would you mind? I'm okay not, but I think it would be fun. At the very least, I'd like to get rings." Something odd crossed over José's face. Almost like guilt. Abby's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"I bought you a ring."

That neither appeased her suspicion nor her curiosity. "You did? When?"

"About a week after you told me you were moving." José looked down, not meeting her eyes. "I'd been saving up for a ring. I'd told you it was for a car, but it was for your ring. When you said you were leaving, I knew I couldn't let you go without giving it to you first. I must have gone to a dozen stores, but no one had anything I liked for you or within my price range. Then I wandered into this old antique store. I saw the ring, and I knew it was meant for you." His cheeks reddened. Abby hadn't seen him blush in a long time. Unlike her transparent skin, his darker tone didn't reveal much. "I couldn't afford it. I was several hundred short. The old man running the store took pity on me though. He said he'd hold the ring for me until I could pay him the rest. I took odd jobs around town, saved my lunch money, and mowed a lot of lawns, but I still didn't have enough by the time you left.

"I kept working though. Even after Dad left and things got tight, I kept saving. Right before I left for basic, the old man let me off the hook. I was about one-fifty short, but he gave it to me anyway. Remember that box of pictures I told you I had? It's in there."

Abby cupped José's bearded cheeks, forcing his face up towards hers. "Show me. Please."

José hurried over to the closet. Abby took the opportunity to slip her dress off of her knees and take her stockings off. The incision from her C-section was just a faint pink line now. With her weight gain, her hips, stomach, and face had filled out.

She tossed her dress onto the floor with his clothes. As he came over to the bed with an old Nike shoebox, Abby worked her way back up to the headboard. She laid back on the pillows again but pulled the sheets and comforter over her legs to keep from getting cold.

He sat by her hip and handed her the shoebox. Abby opened the orange lid and placed it on the mattress on her other side. Memories came flooding back to her. Pictures of the two of them from their kindergarten holiday concert where they both were dressed like Santa's elves to beach trips and county fairs to their first dance. Football games, family vacations (his family, not hers), karaoke nights, and fourth of July parades. Her favorite was a reel of pictures from a mall photobooth. Did he remember what he'd whispered in her ear as the camera snapped the last photo?

A stuffed panda bear the size of his fist was also inside. She'd named him Po after the Kung Fu Panda movie character. He was a bit dusty, not quite as white as he once was, but he was just as soft as she remembered. She reached around José and placed the panda bear on the nightstand. Abby didn't know which side of the bed he planned on being hers and would move it to the other side later if needed.

Then she found her desideratum. The ring box wasn't black, square, or velvet. It was round wood painted green with gold accents. The latch was metal and creaked as she opened it.

There, sitting on a white cloth, was an emerald stoned ring.

"Oh, José…" She carefully picked up the beautiful piece of jewelry. The band was thin and gold. While the stone itself wasn't very large, it had a natural sparkle to it that made it appear bigger.

Abby raised her head and noticed for the first time how nervous José looked. That was when she realized he was worried she wouldn't like the ring.

Abby reached for his arm. "José, I love it."

His expression turned hopeful. "Really?"

"Yes! God, yes. It's absolutely beautiful. I can't believe you've held onto this for all these years."

Abby went to put it on her left ring finger but José stopped her. "Wait." He stood up. "I want to do this right."

Dressed in only boxer briefs while she was in her bra and panties, José went down on one knee beside the bed. He held up the emerald ring in both hands. It looked so small but he held it with care. "Abigail June Knight, I have loved you since I was six years old. Others might look at our time apart as a tragedy, but I choose to look at it as a testament of what our love can withstand. We did not break, we did not lose hope, we did not yield. In the end, we are stronger for it. You have given me four beautiful children. I'd give you the moon, if I could, but I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

Abby let out a low chuckle, tears streaming down her cheeks again. She sniffled and tried to wipe them away.

"We're doing all of this backwards. First you gave me kids, then we got a piece of paper saying we were married, then we started dating, and now we're here for the first night together in our new house. I don't care the order, so long as you're mine." He brought the ring up just a little bit higher. "I love you, Red. Will you marry me?"

It took her a good minute to find her voice. "Yes, José, I will marry you."

José smiled widely. He rose, placed the ring on her finger, and kissed her.

* * *

Bulldog's stomach clenched.He'd never forget hearing those words from her. They were almost as great as hearing her say ‘I love you' for the first time. Almost. It was hard to believe, after sixteen years, he finally got his ring on her finger.

He pulled away from her to look down at her hand. Then, because he couldn't help himself, said, "Kinda matches your underwear."

Abby burst out laughing. She held her hand up to her lacy green bra. "Not bad. I approve."

He grinned again, or rather hadn't stopped grinning, and kissed her. Careful not to push her down or box her in, Bulldog moved the shoebox of pictures to the nightstand without breaking their contact. He rolled over her until he was on his back and she was laying over him, her legs now twisted in the covers.

He shifted his lips to her cheek then her ear. Ducking his head, Bulldog left a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. He heard her breath hitch and paused.

"Is this okay?"

She nodded immediately. "I trust you."

Fuck. Bulldog closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions under control. She slayed him, was more accurate.

Before he lost his head completely and designated all brainpower to making love to her, Bulldog said, "I have condoms. I figured you weren't on birth control while still breastfeeding."

She shook her head a little. Not in reply, but as if she was trying to clear her thoughts. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I'm not on birth control. Thank you for thinking ahead. I hadn't even considered protection."

"I will always protect you," he vowed.

Her green eyes stared down at him. "I know."

Bulldog's heart sped up at the same time his dick started to swell again. He'd lost his erection due to nerves over finally showing Abby her engagement ring.

Abby raised herself up, detangling from the covers, and straddled his stomach. Bulldog placed his hands on her hips to help steady her as she braced her hands on his chest. "This is okay, right?"

"Hell yeah." His eyes roamed over her lingerie-clad body. "You're in charge, remember?"

Abby didn't appear nervous as she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. The only emotions he saw on her face were arousal and determination. Fuck, she was never more beautiful to him than she was in this moment. She had small but perky breasts still swollen with milk. Abby threw her bra to the floor, uncaring where it landed. As she placed her hands back on his chest, she slowly rocked her hips back and forth.

Bulldog's grip on her hips tightened—and Abby flinched.

"Fuck!" He yanked his hands away from her as soon as he saw her reaction to his touch.

Abby froze over top of him. The determination he'd seen on her only seconds before fell and tears suddenly filled her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Bulldog wanted to reach for her but wasn't sure where or how to touch her. "It's fine," he assured her. "That was on me."

Her sad eyes dropped to her hands now clutched to her chest. "You should be allowed to touch me. It's not fair to you?—"

"Don't," Bulldog snapped. The word was harsh but it shocked her out of her misery. "Abby, we knew there would be trials and errors with this. Now we know that I shouldn't squeeze your hips."

Searching for a way to cheer her up and gain her confidence back, Bulldog readjusted himself. While the mattress they were on was the same from his mom's house, he'd purchased a new frame with a headboard and footboard, dual dressers and nightstands, and box spring. The frame was a dark, glossy pine with four posters. Between the headboard design and the poster was a gap.

Bulldog stretched his arms up above his head. He just barely fit his right hand through the gap and looped his left hand around the poster. He laced his fingers against the wood.

Looking back down his body, he saw Abby was staring at him curiously. "It'll be torture not to touch you, but this way you can do as you please without worrying about where my hands are."

Abby bit her lip. While she looked unsure, he also saw approval in her eyes. Slowly, she nodded. "Just… Leave them there until I tell you. Please."

"I will," he assured her. He might die of sexual frustration, but he would not move his hands.

Abby started to shift herself backwards. When her hot core rubbed over his raging erection as she continued back to his thighs, Bulldog had to bite back a hiss. Fuck. This was going to be a test of his willpower. Abby stared at his groin for several long seconds before she took a deep breath and reached for his waistband. Bulldog tipped his ass off the mattress so she could pull his underwear down his hips. She continued down his legs.

Completely naked, Bulldog realized he'd never felt more vulnerable with a woman than he did right then. Abby had the ability to hurt him in ways no other women in his life ever could. He'd never given them that power. Lying with his hands basically bound, unable to touch her as he craved to, Bulldog knew that him giving her this power-exchange was fundamental to their relationship.

Arousal coursed through him as it never had before. There was something primal and exciting about giving Abby the power. Bulldog was not a submissive man. But with Abby? Fuck, if she needed him to lie here clutching the headboard while she rode them both to orgasm? Yeah, he could submit to Abby and be just as confident in his masculinity as he'd always been.

Abby tentatively reached out. She placed her hand on his thigh, just below the crease of his groin. His balls tightened at her close contact. Still in her underwear, Abby moved between his legs. Bulldog widened his legs to give her more room. Her gaze was transfixed on his rock-hard cock. She moved her hand from his thigh and reached for his length.

It jumped at her touch. Startled, Abby jumped back. She looked up at him with wide, wild eyes. Bulldog couldn't help but give her a cocky smile. "He likes you."

Realizing her reaction, Abby glared at Bulldog before turning her attention back to his dick. She reached for him again. Her hand was warm and smooth, so much better than his own when he masturbated. Abby's hand started to slowly move up and down his shaft. A bead of pre-come leaked from the tip.

He groaned out her name.

"Is this okay? Am I doing it right?"

Bulldog studied her a moment to see where her head was at. She looked more curious than anything. He decided it was okay to give her instruction. She didn't have to obey, after all. She was the one in control. "You can grip me harder." He gasped as she did. "Roll your hand over the tip, get some pre-cum on your palm. It'll help with the friction." Bulldog thought his eyes were going to roll back in his head. His hips automatically bucked upward at her movement. He forced his hips to remain where they were on the mattress. "Cup my balls."

Her left hand took them between her fingers and applied a bit of pressure.

"Fuck! Red!" He fought not to come like a pre-teen. Her movements were unpracticed and raw. It wasn't what she was doing but the fact that it was her doing it that had him feeling so out of control. From the time he'd learned what sex was, he knew that the only woman he wanted to do it with was this luscious ginger currently kneeling between his legs. It was only the selfish acts of others that had kept them apart, but finally she was his.

"Red, sweetheart, come up here. I want to suck on your nipples."

At his words, a bead of moisture appeared at the tip of each. Fuck. Bulldog licked his lips. He was very aware that her body wasn't producing that milk for him, but damn did he want it anyway. He had no idea he had a kink for breastmilk until that moment.

Abby crawled back up his body. She settled herself higher on his chest than earlier. Just as she was lowering her chest down to his eagerly awaiting mouth, she paused. "You'll keep your hands where they are?"

Bulldog made sure to meet her worried gaze as he answered. "Until you say otherwise, that's where they'll stay."

Abby nodded. She lowered her puckered nipple to his mouth. Bulldog latched on, his mouth salivating. Pure sweetness, like sugar, burst forth onto his tongue. He wanted to close his eyes and lose himself in her taste, but he forced his eyes to remain on her face. Looking for any signs of distress.

Abby's head was currently thrown back, her hips rocking against his ribcage. He tweaked her nipple with his tongue and she moaned. Fuck. Yeah.

Bulldog alternated between her breasts, using his chin and neck to nudge her in the right direction. She was writhing over him, lost in desire and ecstasy. Nothing made Bulldog feel more triumphant than the knowledge that, despite her history, he was still able to bring her such bliss.

Her orgasm came out of nowhere, startling both of them. He'd drunk a lot of her milk, teasing her nipples with his tongue and teeth. At first, when she'd stiffened, Bulldog had thought it was from anxiety. Then she cried out, moaning, and pressed her wet panties against his chest.

His name on her lips in the throes of passion was the most wonderful thing he'd ever heard in his life.

Bulldog pulled his mouth from her nipple. Both were red and pointed, wet with both his saliva and her milk.

As Abby came back down, her breath turned gaspy. Her eyes were dilated and there was a sheen of sweat over her skin.

"You're beautiful. Fuck, I want to touch you so badly, Abs."

There was a small quiver to her voice as she admitted, "Me too. But I'm scared I'll ruin this if you do."

"You couldn't ruin this if you tried," he told her honestly. "Abby, if you need me to buy a pair of handcuffs to remain bound to this headboard for the rest of our sex life, which I'm really hoping for another sixty or so years of, then that is what I'll do."

The light giggle that escaped her lips was all the assurance he needed that she was still with him. "Not sure I'll be able to handle another sixty years if that's what an orgasm with you is like. I hadn't actually expected to orgasm," she admitted sheepishly. "I figured it wouldn't happen the first time."

Bulldog snorted. "I wouldn't be doing my job if I don't make you come at least twice each time we make love. Three times, preferably."

Her eyes went comically wide. "Three times!" She shook her head. "No, I'm done. As good as that felt, I don't think I have another in me."

"Wanna bet?" Bulldog stared her down.

The blush on her cheeks was adorable. "Um, no, because I'll probably lose."

"Damn straight you'll lose that bet. Lose the panties, Red. I want to eat you out."

She looked down at her underwear then at his face then back down at her underwear. "How exactly do you plan to do that?"

"You sit on my face," he explained.

"But, um," her eyes landed on his leaking cock. "Aren't I supposed to…" She pointed, her cheeks heating again. "Men like that, right?"

"Red, look at me." It took her a second to turn her head back towards his. "I've been with other women. You know this and you've forgiven me for it. Have I had blowjobs before? Yes. And yes they feel amazing. But there's no supposed to between us. There's no one else in this bedroom but us. No one sitting in the corner with a checklist making sure we do everything we're supposed to do. If you want to try giving me a blowjob because you think it's something you'll enjoy, then I won't stop you. If you're uncomfortable about oral sex, either receiving or giving, then that's fine too. It's just you and me, Red. We do what we want to do."

Abby stared at him for a long moment. He could see the contemplation behind her eyes. Casting her gaze downward, she said in a low voice, "He made me… He'd choke me, putting himself down my throat. He'd hit me harder when I cried or threw up. I don't think… I don't think that's something I can do, even with you."

Bulldog couldn't take it anymore. His willpower broke at her tears. He unclasped his hands from the headboard, sitting up. Slowly, so she saw him moving, he took her into his arms. Abby rested her head against his chest.

Fuck, his heart ached for her. If he didn't already know Adrian was suffering in Hell, he might have lost it at her words. That bastard had taken the most extraordinary woman in the world and violated her. It was only by the strength of her own will and fortitude that she was not shattered.

Even as Abby's tears subsided, Bulldog continued to rub her back and murmur sweet nothings into her ear. His erection had depleted, his flaccid penis resting against his thigh.

He laid Abby carefully down on the pillows. "We're done for tonight," he told her, moving to find his boxers on the floor.

Abby caught his arm before he could leave. "No. No, I can do this. I have to?—"

Bulldog cut her off with a gentle finger over her lips. "No. You don't have to doanything." He replaced his finger with his mouth. "We're done," he repeated.

Her chin quivered. "But you didn't come. I didn't…"

Bulldog gave her a slight smirk. "Red, I'm going to fill you in on a little secret. What you and I just did was the most romantic experience of my life. No, I didn't orgasm, but you did. I wouldn't trade what we just did for all the sex in the world." He pressed his lips to her again. "Get comfortable. Use the bathroom if you need to. I'm going to go check on the babies before we turn in for the night."

He climbed out of bed and reached for his underwear.

"José?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

"Thank you." Her green eyes lifted up from the comforter as she admitted, "I don't think I was ready. I mean, I was. For what we did. But I'm not sure I could have actually…" Her voice trailed off.

Bulldog crawled over the mattress to her. He kissed her deeply. "I know, Red. That's why I stopped us. We did good tonight. Don't ever think otherwise."

He kissed her once more before hopping off of the bed. He put on his boxer briefs, feeling his cock stir again at the sight of Abby naked from the waist up tangled in the comforter, sheets, and pillows on their bed. Perhaps, when he came back, he'd take himself in hand and masturbate for her.

Bulldog was so lost in that fantasy that, when he opened the door to the nursery, it took him a moment to realize there was a man standing in the room.