27. Ray

My heels clicking against the cement stairs wasn't the only sound echoing through the garage stairwell. I could hear Wade, the irritation in his voice, and the sound of someone else speaking, and as I came to the final step approaching the weighted double doors, I could make out the words they were saying.

I didn't push them open. Instead, I looked through the narrow glass window, trying to get a view of whatever situation was happening out there.

"She'll leave you the moment your business begins to fail. You've given yourself another Emily without even taking a second to recognize it."

My breath caught in my throat. "You're taking this too far," I heard Wade say, his voice muffled from the barrier between us. He leaned with one hand on his car, the other flailing in irritation. In front of him, with his back turned to me, was a tall, lanky man with dark hair dressed in a suede jacket, jeans, and boots.

"How? You're the one that's gone insane," the man laughed, his head tilting just far enough to the side that I could catch a glimpse of his profile. Zane. What's he doing here? "If it's not a lie, then I'm seriously concerned for you, brother."

"She's nothing, okay?" Wade snapped, pushing off from the car and taking a step toward him. My stomach dropped. "All she is to me is a fucking business transaction. You were right. It's not real. But I'm getting what I want despitethat."

Thick saliva pooled in the back of my throat as I slowly processed what Wade was saying. Even with the chill in the air, my skin broke out in a thin veil of sweat. I pulled the sleeves of my jacket down over my palms, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I was going to be sick.

"The contract is already written. Pen meets paper tonight, Zane. You're too late," Wade laughed. He took a step toward him and I flinched, wondering if his anger would get the better of him, if he'd throw a punch. "I doubt you could gather enough evidence to properly convince him before he signs."

"You know damn well I could." Zane didn't even flinch as Wade closed the distance between them.

"And what would that net you? You'd upset Chloe. She did her fucking best for me because she's my sister, Zane. Flesh and blood. Do you want her to feel like that was for nothing? Do you want her to blame herself for telling you something she absolutely shouldn't have?" Wade's face was going red, the veins in his forehead flexing against his skin. "All of that just to spite me for hiring some girl I couldn't give two shits about at the end of the day."

I took a step back from the door and fought the burning behind my eyes. He'd sounded so cold, so bitter, so angry. Had talked about me as if I were a bug trapped under his boot, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. I'd let it happen again despite what I swore to myself. I'd dropped my walls. I'd fallen. And he'd fucking lied to me.

I clutched the fabric of my dress where it fell against my chest, resisting the choking sound I so desperately wanted to let out. Forcing myself to breathe in, the air felt like needles as it filled my empty lungs and hit the back of my lump-filled throat. I wanted to go home.

The ringing in my ear was enough to distract me from whatever else they were saying. All I could focus on was calming down, collecting myself, and as I slowly began to relax, I could hear the screeching of tires as someone pulled out of the parking garage. Considering we were the only few left in the building, it was either Zane or Wade. I could make it through the evening. I had to. It was the last thing to do and then I was free, the contract would be signed, and I wouldn't have a reason to keep playing this role for him. And as much as that made my chest feel as though it were on fire, I had to do it. For myself, for Mom, and for my own sanity.

I'd get through the evening then forget that he existed.

I'd done it before. I could do it again.

————

"Are you okay?"

Wade squeezed the stocking-covered flesh of my thigh as we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant he'd booked out. "I'm fine," I lied. I'd kept my eyes glued to my phone for the entire ride over.

"You've barely spoken since we got in the car. Is everything alright with your mom?" he asked. He pulled the car into the space he'd reserved in front of the restaurant and shifted into park before turning to look at me. I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. "We don't have to do this if you need to be with her. I can figure something else out."

"She's fine," I sighed. I tried to think of something coherent I could assemble together to explain my attitude, but I wasn't sure if it was even worth it, if he even cared. The words he spoke soundedlike he did, but everything he'd shouted at Zane back in the garage played on repeat in my mind. If what he'd said back there was true, then he didn't care. "I'm just nervous."

He lifted his hand from my knee and pushed a loose curl back behind my ear. I flinched. "You don't need to be nervous," he said. "You did a great job at the resort. It's only a few hours this time instead of a few days."

"I know."

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," he insisted, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I could feelthe worry emanating from him that I'd back out. He was giving me the option, but I could tell it was just to play up to his nice-guy facade. I was tempted to take him up on it.

"It's fine. Let's get this over with."

————

Two scribbled lines of pen marks and three cocktails later, my job of being his pretend girlfriend was done. I clutched the margarita in my hand like a cross as I watched Wade laugh and joke with Dom's father. Alec wasn't the greatest of men by any stretch, and I'd noticed the countless times he'd looked at me and the other women in attendance like we were pieces of meat. Maybe he and Wade really would get on well.

I want you. I don't want to stop.

I took a sip of my drink to calm my twisting stomach. Every moment, every piece of it had been a lie. I'd bared myself to him in almost every form, given him every inch of me on a silver platter, and he'd played along to keep me on board with his stupid fucking plan. And to think I'd told my mother I was falling in love with him. No matter how wrong it was to wish she'd forget it, I wanted her to.

Every kiss of shared breath wasn't real. Every night spent between the sheets for hours and hours, never able to get enough, was one-sided. Every gift, every sweet moment, was to keep me playing his game.

A hand snaked its way around my waist and I wanted to throw up on his shoes.

"Hey," Wade whispered, his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel his breath fan out across my skin. "Talk to me. Something's wrong."

"I'm fine," I said.

"Three and a half cocktails for you seems more like a call for help than a good time."

"I'm fine."

"Then dance with me," he grinned, spinning me around carefully to face him. "Celebrate with me. This is just as much your victory as it is mine."

Bullshit. The word fought against my lips to be set free, but I clenched them closed, keeping them locked away. No use burning bridges tonight. We would be finished after this anyway, and I would need a job again. I didn't bother thinking about him covering Mom's medical bills like he said he would. I doubted any of it would hold up after the night was over.

"Okay," I said.

I downed the rest of my drink and set the empty glass on the bar before letting him drag me to the dance floor. The place was packed with men and women of all sorts, and as Wade's arms went around my waist to pull me into him, I wondered who they were. If they were friends of his he'd never introduced me to or business partners I'd never heard of. I wondered just how much of this man's life was actually a mystery to me.

"You look so fucking tempting in that dress," he said, his voice barely rising over the sound of the music, just enough for me to hear.

"Am I just a piece of meat to you?" I asked, adding a fake, lighthearted chuckle to not raise suspicion.

"Never," he grinned. "You're more than I could have asked for."

Knowing his words were a lie yet hearing the sincerity in his voice was nearly enough to send me overboard. His lips met mine as his body moved against me, shifting to the beat of the music. God, I would miss this. I kissed him back, though it felt mechanical, disenchanted, and wrong. I wondered if he'd checked to see if Alec was watching before he'd done it, if he could feel how much I wanted this to end, if he could taste the bile climbing up my throat. He'd used me. He'd eaten me whole and spat me back out. He knew how I felt, what my fears were yet he carried on anyway, breaking every little sewn-up inch of my heart. Don't fall in love with me, he'd said. Maybe I should have listened.

He pulled away, an annoyed grin distorting his face. "You'll never guess who showed up while I was waiting for you to come downstairs earlier," he said, and every part of my body went rigid. "Fucking Zane."

"Oh. Cool."

"I can't believe he had the nerve."

"Yeah."

"He started arguing with me?—"

I stopped in place on the dance floor and moved back from him, putting my hands up. "Actually, Wade, I don't think it's any of my business what happened between you two."

Confusion flicked across his face, knitting his brows together and wiping the smile from his cheeks. "What's going on, Ray?"

"Nothing."

————

The purr of the ignition was the first welcoming thing I'd heard all evening. "Are you still not going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I insisted, staring straight ahead.

"Fine. I guess we'll sit in silence all the way home then," he huffed. He shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot.

"I want to go back to Mom's," I said.

I could see the muscles of his jaw ticking out of the corner of my eye as cut across two lanes of traffic like it was nothing, heading instead for my house. "Do you want to explain why?"

"No."

"Great."

The night was close to being over. Freedom was so within reach that I could almost taste it, and although it should have been a somewhat exciting thought to be able to go back to doing whatever the fuck I wanted instead of being with him, all it did was feel like the weight of an elephant on my chest. I had too much to think about, too much to cry about.

Mom was more lucid now, so I could get as drunk as I wanted to, forget him for a few hours, and pass out on my childhood bed. I could drown myself in Friends reruns and pretend like I was Monica, burned by man after man before finally finding a Chandler at some point in my life. I could find peace in that. I had to.

We rode in complete silence until the car came to a stop in my driveway. I could see the faint light of the television through the living room window and knowing Mom was within reach the moment I got inside made my throat close. I wanted to cry. I wanted to fling myself at her and allow her to hold me, bawling my eyes out like I was seven years old again and someone had been mean to me on the playground.

"Ray," Wade breathed, his body shifting toward me. "Can we please talk about whatever this is?"

I unbuckled myself and wrapped my fingers around the door handle before his hand caught my wrist.

"Please."

"It's done," I croaked, sliding my arm from his fingers far too easily. Pushing open the door, I stepped out, bag clutched in my grasp and the weight of the raven around my neck feeling like a brick. "The contract is signed. I can't… I can't keep this."

Reaching around the back of my neck, I unclasped the necklace. The backs of my eyes burned as I held it in the palm of my hand, black diamonds shimmering up at me. I'd almost cried tears of happiness just hours ago when he'd given it to me, but now, tears welled for a different reason. I couldn't keep it.

I set it down in the passenger seat and slammed the door.