18. Wade

Ihadn't been able to get Ray out of my head for nearly thirty-four hours.

I didn't know what to do with myself, didn't know how to handle that. It wasn't like that with other women—normally once was enough to keep me going for a while, and they certainly didn't stay with me in my head, certainly didn't have me jacking off in the shower the moment I got home from work. I told myself it was just because I'd been pent up for weeks. Any other reason was just insanity.

I stood by the edge of my indoor pool in my Boulder home, naked from my third shower of the day, and stared down at the warm water. For a second, I swore I could see her in it, nude and screaming in the shallow end that sloped up like a beach. Back arched, nose scrunched, looking at me like I was God himself. Clenching around me. Pleading. Begging.

My cock throbbed. I needed to see her again.

Without an ounce of dignity or a rational thought in my head, I grabbed my phone from the table I'd placed my towel on and waded into the water, sitting down in the exact spot I'd imagined her in. I found her name within seconds, hit call, and didn't think twice.

Two rings and she answered. "Hey, I'm just about to head home from the hospital?—"

"I can't stop thinking about you," I said, a hoarseness to my voice that I wasn't expecting. Maybe it was those three showers. "Come over."

A short bout of silence made me worry the line had dropped before she spoke again. "What?"

"Come over."

"Do you know what time it is?" she hissed, and I pulled my phone from my ear to check. Just past eight o'clock. "I didn't realize I was on-call at all goddamn hours of the day, Wade. Can it wait until tomorrow?"

"It doesn't have anything to do with work," I insisted, wondering if she'd even heard me when I said I couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Hold on." A second passed. "No, Mom, it's just my boss," Ray said, her voice quieter as she held the phone away from her mouth. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I could hear the click of her heels echoing in the hospital's hallway.

"Sorry. Was just leaving Mom's room. What's happened? What do you need?" She sighed an aggravated breath.

I didn't know how to answer that, didn't know how I'd expected her to respond. It wasn't the smartest decision I'd made, but that part of me that was fucking singing for her, aching for her, was still pushing me. "I can't stop thinking about you," I repeated. "I need to see you."

Silence again, as if she didn't quite believe it. "Is this a fucking booty call?"

I laughed at her question, the shock coating every word just too much to handle. "Well, if you want to put it that way," I said. "You're fucking everywhere, you know that? Can't go five seconds without thinking about how good you feel. Can't think straight."

"Wade," she said quietly.

"Come over," I tried again. I leaned back into the shallow water that lapped at the side of the pool. Just the sound of her voice made my hand twitch toward my cock, but I wasn't that depraved. "Let me taste you again."

A pause, and then the sound of some kind of crash, like glass hitting a tile floor. "Shit, shit, shit," she said, her voice farther away. Shuffling noises, and then she was back, irritation filling her voice. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Didn't we cover that yesterday?" I chuckled.

"I'm not coming over so you can get your fucking rocks off," she grumbled. "That's not happening again. It was a one-time thing, a moment of stupid weakness because you made me feel bad for you."

Great. Ice Bunny had made a full return.

"It was a mistake, Wade. So I suggest you find some other girl to fill your time."

"I don't want that," I snapped. I sat up in the pool, the water sloshing around me. "I want you." She hissed in pain, a mumbled fuck barely coming through. "Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine. I just shattered my screen when I dropped my phone and I think it's cut my thumb." She took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as if she were pushing it through a straw. "I'm going home. I'm not coming over. I will see you tomorrow morning, bright and early, just like it's supposed to be. Be an adult and sort yourself out."

The line dropped.

————

After I'd moved from the shallow end to the deep and swam enough laps to feel as if I might drown, I'd managed to cool myself down enough to give my mind room to breathe.

Calling her had been a mistake. I knew that when I'd done it, but that didn't mean I was going to back down. There was a chance, no matter how small, that she would have ended up at my place instead of hers. But no, Ice Bunny was back, the walls were up, and I was going to have to dismantle both before I could have her again.

I stepped out of the shallow end and toweled off.

The sound of my phone ringing made me nearly slip on the wet tile below me. Every second of exercise I'd done to get Ray out of my head was erased in the span of a second. She was there again, her hands on my skin, her breath in my ear as I scrambled across the room toward my phone. She's coming. She wants my address.

I grabbed it from the table and nearly dropped it as I flipped it over in my hand, staring blankly at the screen.

It wasn't Ray. It was Zane.

For fucks sake.

I lifted the phone to my ear, not even bothering to give him a formal greeting. I simply waited for him to speak. I knew he would. He couldn't help himself.

"Wade?"

"What." I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder and wrapped the towel around my waist.

"Don't sound so happy to hear from me," he chuckled, every word dripping with enough sarcasm to make my skin crawl. "How have you been, man?"

"Why are you calling me?" I asked. I couldn't hide the irritation in my voice and definitely didn't care to. "I haven't heard from you in, what, a year?"

"Mmm, a bit longer than that I think. I've been busy," he said. "I'm calling because I heard from our dear little sister that you've got a serious girlfriend. Couldn't believe my ears."

"Of fucking course she told you," I groaned, stepping away from the pool and heading toward the shower. I should have known Chloe would do that. Lying for her meant going overboard and then running away when her stomach twisted.

"So it's true, then?" He laughed, the sound echoey. "You've managed to convince some poor woman to be with you long term?"

I didn't want Zane anywhere near Ray. I didn't even want to say her name, or to tell him anything about her. But I knew I couldn't avoid it. Zane would be at the wedding, and Ray would be there on my arm. There was no doubt that he would make it a point to talk to her. I didn't have a choice. I gritted my teeth and twisted the handle for the shower. "Her name is Ray."

"Another ski-obsessed blonde?"

"No."

"Tell me about her."

"No."

"Such a buzzkill," he said, adding in a few hearty tsks just to piss me off.

"She'll be at the wedding. I'm sure you'll try to talk to her much as you can there," I snapped. I reached out to the water, letting it fall over my hand and scald my skin. "Try not to make her want to run away."

"Oh, come on, Wade. I'm not that bad."

"You absolutely are. And unfortunately, I have plans for my evening with Ray, so I'm going to have to let you go."

"She's there?" he asked, and goddammit, I knew I'd fucked up. "Can I say hello?"

"No. Goodbye, Zane."

I pulled the phone from my ear, entirely ignoring any words coming through the speaker, hanging up on him the same as Ray had with me earlier. I needed to keep him as far out of the loop as possible. Zane was prone to digging, to finding out every last detail, and using it to his advantage. If he found out what I was doing I'd be fucked. He'd find a way to warp it for his own gain. Ray didn't need to be involved in that, and I was going to do everything in my power to keep him out of the way.

I needed to calm down.