18. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

"Rise and shine, fucker!"

I groan loudly, then curse when I'm slapped with bright light that stings worse than it should. My eyes are closed but it hurts. Everything fucking hurts.

"Go away!"

"No can do, we need to talk."

Reese hops on the bed and lies down beside me. I refuse to open my eyes, but I feel him there.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" I ask, turning to face away from him and the light.

"Magic. Now wake up." He gives me a little shove.

"Go away."

"This is serious," he whines.

"My head hurts too much for serious."

Memories of loud music, too many drinks, and—I turn toward Reese, squinting my eyes open. He's grinning.

"What the fuck did you put in my drink?"

"Me?" He presses a hand to his chest, feigning innocence. "I would never. It was probably your date."

"That's not his MO. What the fuck was it?"

Not sure why I lie. It is exactly Sev's MO. He's done it to me already. Yet there's something in me that knows it wasn't him.

Reese rolls his eyes.

"Just a little molly, no big deal, bro."

I want to punch him, but I have a feeling if I do, I'll throw up.

"You're lucky you're my cousin." I close my eyes and bury my face in the pillow.

"I wanted you to have fun. It was my wedding, Justin, and you were moping around like your favorite cat just died."

"I hate cats," I mutter into the pillow.

"You did have fun though." When I don't answer, he gives me another shove. "Come on. Admit it. You had fun."

I shake my head, then peek at him.

"It was okay."

"Okay enough that you got a blow job in the bathroom."

I heave a sigh and roll onto my back but keep my eyes closed. That light is going to be the death of me.

"Do I want to know how you know that?" I ask.

"I have my ways. Now can you please get up? This really is serious."

My head spins and pounds as I push myself up to sit. There's a bottle of water beside my bed that I guzzle. I don't remember getting to the hotel room last night. I'm grateful I'm alone and didn't wake up with a strange man in my bed, or worse—Sev. I discreetly rub my hand over my ribs, breathing out a sigh of relief when I don't feel any new cuts. I'm also glad I fell asleep with a shirt on and don't have to risk Reese seeing his name in my skin. Not a conversation I ever want to have with anyone.

I get up from bed, go to the bathroom to do my business, splash a shit ton of cold water on my face, then get back in bed. It's a good thing I booked this room for three days because no way in fuck am I leaving it today.

"What do you need now?" I ask.

"A favor."

"I've already done you two, three if you count the wedding, and you haven't done shit for me."

"I got you a blow job," he says animatedly, getting up from the bed.

"Doesn't count!"

He starts to pace and says, "It voids out the wedding. I still owe you two favors. This one will be three." Reese can never sit still. Watching him walk back and forth is making me nauseous, so I rest my head back and close my eyes.

"I don't know why I talk to you," I say.

"Because you're my cousin and you love me."

"Nope, doesn't sound right."

He sighs heavily. When I feel him near me, I open one eye, finding him a foot from me.

"I got word that some O'Donovan's from Ireland are pissed about the situation with Josie. Heard two of them are coming to the states."

This fucking guy.

I smirk and ask, "And you want me to give them the grand tour?"

"I want you to kill them," he says seriously.

I narrow my eyes. "Why can't you do it?"

Reese runs a hand through his hair, dropping into the armchair across from me.

"Because I promised my wife—ha ha, fucker, you can't say she isn't my wife anymore—I wouldn't kill anyone after we got together."

I make a show of looking around.

"Speaking of, where is she? Shouldn't you be with her the day after your wedding."

He grins. "I fucked her into a coma. She's sleeping." I groan loudly. "Don't be jelly, Justin! You should've asked your jolly giant to stay the night."

Not having this conversation. Especially not with Reese.

"Send me the details. This is the last favor I'm doing for you before you pay up. Actually, I'll consider another one even if you get the fuck out of my room and don't bother me for the rest of the day!"

I whip a pillow at him. He jumps out of the chair and scurries toward the door. "Don't tell her about this."

"Lying to your wife already? What a way to start a marriage." He frowns, and I feel bad for the comment. It's true, but I know Reese doesn't have bad intentions. I shouldn't have said it. "Just go, Reese. I shouldn't have said that and I'm not going to tell her. Protecting her doesn't make you an asshole even if you're hiding it. Just get the fuck out."

I say all the things I can think of to make him feel better. Speaking my mind always gets me into trouble.

Reese leaves and I fall back asleep. When I wake up next, I order room service and take a shower. As I wash, I recall the night, and how I let that psychopathic asshole suck my dick. And not only that, but I got on my knees for him. I swallowed his cum. Something that now makes me want to puke a little. What is wrong with me? I'm supposed to kill this guy for money, not feed into his weird obsession over me.

After showering, eating, and driving myself crazy over how stupid I am, I decide that I need a clear head. Sev needs to die. Whatever happened last night was strictly because of the drugs my cousin was so kind enough to sneak into my drink, the asshole.

Jesus, what a fucked-up life I live. And Reese wonders why I don't come around? This is why. He does stupid shit like drug me for fun.

As I'm tugging my shirt on, I catch a glimpse of the thick pink scars on my ribs. I move closer, raise my arm and hold the hem of my shirt up.

S-E-V

This guy carved letters into my skin. His name. Only actual psychopaths do that. He's totally worth the five million. I just need to pull my head out of my ass and get to it so I can be rid of him once and for all.

"When do you leave?" Oriana asks, folding her hands and resting her chin on them.

Reese and Josie left for their honeymoon a few hours ago, and Ori asked me over for dinner. So here I am, at her and Ezra's house, having a lovely dinner like we have normal lives or some shit. The gesture was kind, but I feel out of place doing something so domestic.

"Tomorrow morning," I answer, reaching for the giant bowl of potato salad. I scoop a heaping pile on my plate. Oriana is a great cook. One of the things I miss most about hanging out with her is the food. Her potato salad is my favorite, and I know it's why she made it.

"Are you staying at the hotel?"

"Yeah, it's already paid up."

She smiles knowingly. She was going to offer for me to stay here, which is why I made sure to let her know I already paid for the room.

"I remember when I was where you are," she says.

A loud shriek causes me to look out at the yard. Ezra is throwing Elizabeth into the air and catching her. Oscar is standing a few feet away, bouncing up and down and clapping his hands, laughing as he watches. The baby, Oliver, is over here sleeping in his bouncy chair. She has the life she always wanted and that makes me happy for her.

"I don't know what you mean," I admit.

She leans back, watching me carefully. "You're the reason I'm alive, Justin."

"Nah, if I hadn't taken you out of the house, Ezra would've found a way in. He would've done anything to get in there."

"I'm not talking about taking me out of the house. I'm talking about the fight with those girls. When I was stabbed. When I was depressed and not eating."

The food is hard to swallow, so I wash it down with some beer. It all settles in my stomach heavily. What is she trying to say?

"We're friends," I say casually.

"Which is why I'm going to tell you I'm worried about you."

"Because…" I leave room for her to fill that in, but then hold up my hand. "And you better not say because I'm not married. Not everyone's happily ever after ends in marriage and children." I gesture toward her husband and the kids in the yard. I love this for her, but this isn't for me.

"I was going to say because you're different and not in a good way. You used to have so much life in you. You were brighter. Full of energy. Now you just seem like you're walking through life waiting for the end."

"Thanks, that's very kind of you." I scoop more food into my mouth.

"I won't apologize for being honest, Justin. What's going on?"

"I'm just trying to find my way," I admit quickly, hoping she'll drop it.

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" I think about it as I chew, and answer once I swallow it down. "It just means I'm figuring out how I want to spend the rest of my life because I know what I'm doing now isn't it."

She nods carefully. "You know you could come here, right?"

"Thought about it."

She smiles wide. "Have you really?"

"Yeah, I have. Problem is I need money first. Guys like me can't go from doing what I do to working at a gas station or a Subway. I'm doing some bigger jobs, gonna save some money, and then I'll figure out where I want to go. Here is an option."

"You're still so easy to talk to," she says with a bright smile.

I glance at Ezra then back at her with a frown. She waves me off. "No, that's not what I meant. Things with us are fine. Perfect, actually. Even better now that Reese has a wife. It's just…" She sighs. "Most of my life sucked and now I feel I'm living in a fairytale and some days I still can't believe it."

"I'm glad you got your happily ever after, Ori. You deserve it."

"So do you, Justin. So do you."

I believe her. I'm just not sure what it looks like for me. Maybe when I do, it won't be such a fight to get it.