Chapter 4 - Anya

I close my eyes and tilt my head right back. Taking the biggest breath in and then letting it out ever so slowly.

Standing at the bottom of the steps that lead into the exquisite hotel where I am going to be getting ready for my wedding day, I feel horribly ill. The tension inside me is like a whirlwind pushing my thoughts left and right, and then spinning them in circles.

I can’t think straight, and my body feels like it’s about to burst into flames.

One more deep, slow breath. Then I have to go inside.

“It’s not that bad, you’ve got this. It’s just for show. It’s just a business deal,” I whisper to myself, then step onto the first step and make my way towards the massive double-door entryway that towers two stories high.

The hotel is gorgeous, but I’ve seen it before, and right now it’s hard to focus on anything but the wedding looming just a few hours ahead of me.

I make my way up to the room number I was given. The door to the room is open and I can hear a bubble of voices coming from inside. Pushing my shoulders back and lifting my chin, I walk in with purpose and confidence.

Immediately, I am filled with relief when I see Raisa.

She rushes over to me, grabbing me in a tight hug.

“Are you ok? How are you feeling?”

“Um,” I stammer, fighting tears. I’ve been so focused on being strong that just her asking me makes me want to burst into tears.

She hugs me tighter.

“It’s ok. I know it’s scary. It’s not too late, you know. You can still back out.”

I shake my head, swallowing away the lump in my throat.

“No, I’m going to do this. It’s the right thing you know, for everyone. I think it will bring down the tension between our families a lot.”

She nods. She can see I’m struggling.

Her support means the world to me, though.

“Ok,” she says, turning me towards the other people in the room. “We have your makeup artists and your hairdresser. The dress is over there, I chose it, by the way. So I really hope you like it, and your bouquet should be arriving in the next hour.What else?“ she looks around, trying to check things off a list in her mind. Then she shrugs, “I think that’s a good start. Shall we get you going on your hair?”

“Sure.”

For the entire process of getting ready I am on autopilot and Raisa handles everything. She ushers me from task to task, fills up my champagne glass, makes sure I eat a little, makes sure I laugh a little. After two hours everything is done, and I am standing in front of the full-length mirror with Raisa at my side.

Staring at my own reflection, it’s hard to process that it’s actually me in the mirror. I look incredible. The dress she chose is beyond beautiful and I love the way it fits my slightly curvier hips, accentuating my narrow waist.

“You look perfect,” she grins at me, clipping a diamond pin into my hair.

Ruslana comes into the room and gasps. “Oh—my—word,” she says loudly.

When I glance at her in the mirror, her mouth is open, and her eyes are wide. I giggle at her reaction. “Anya, you look like a princess.” She rushes over to me and wants to hug me, but Raisa grabs her back and says, “Don’t you dare. You can hug her after the ceremony. I don’t want to risk even a single mark on her dress.”

Ruslana rolls her eyes and leans in to kiss my cheek without touching my dress.

I love these girls. Both of them are so sweet, and very caring. Raisa has been a massive support to me leading up to this moment. I’m grateful for her, because without her I would be struggling more than I think even I know.

“It’s time,” Ruslana grins, obviously excited.

I take a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

Ruslana and Raisa are both bridesmaids, so they walk ahead of me down the aisle. I stand at the doorway with Leon who is going to walk me down the aisle. I keep peeking through and waiting for my turn to walk. I’m so nervous that I want to vomit.

The music drifts towards me and the gentleman standing at the door gestures for me to go. Leon holds out his arm and I slip mine through his. He squeezes my hand reassuringly.

One step in front of the other, that’s all I need to focus on right now.

Looking down, I walk slowly towards the altar.

I hear people muttering as I pass them. Saying good things. Complimenting me.

I gather my confidence and look up.

Right at Rodion.

My heart stutters and misses a beat.

His eyes are on me and he looks fucking gorgeous.

Like drop-dead sexy gorgeous.

Thank goodness I’m wearing a veil so that it at least hides some of my reaction to him. I think my eyes flew open and my mouth dropped open. I must look shocked. I quickly adjust my face, smile elegantly and turn towards Leon, who lifts my veil, kisses my cheek and then steps away from me.

I step onto the raised platform around the altar, facing Rodion.

Wow.

At least I am meant to be looking at him. Even if I wasn’t, I think I would have a problem not staring.

He tilts his head, grinning, causing my heart to flutter even more.

“You look breathtaking,” he whispers, just as the priest starts to speak.

Most of the people at our wedding have no idea that this is not love. They have no idea that I actually don’t like the man in front of me.

We exchange vows and promises to be faithful and loving. We say ‘I do’ at the right time and then the priest announces, “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Rodion steps towards me, gently holding my waist, he kisses me very politely on my lips. I am so relieved. I thought he was going to try and push his luck, but that was more gentlemanly than I expected.

Unfortunately, the crowd has other ideas.

“Put some effort into it, Rodion.”

“I thought you were in love.”

“Where’s the fire?”

“That girl deserves a man, not a mouse.”

They all taunt because the kiss was apparently too safe and completely lacked passion. I glance nervously at Rodion and the massive grin that spreads across his lips instantly makes me nervous.

He wraps his arm tighter around my waist, pulls me right up against his solid chest and presses his mouth over mine. This time, the kiss is deeply passionate, fierce and commanding. He takes full control of me and kisses me so wildly that I completely forget where we are for a moment. My entire body ignites, a wildfire rushing through me. My fingers tighten around his shoulders, digging into his shirt. Rodion leans back, his eyes locked on mine.

I hear the guests cheering happily.

I’m breathless. My legs are shaky.

My body is begging for more and my cheeks are flushed bright red.

Walking out of the church, hand in hand, while our guests throw white Raisa petals over our heads, I am still trying to get over how incredible the kiss was.

Our reception is as beautiful as the ceremony was. Rodion has gone out of his way to make this a really memorable event for everyone who attends. Sitting next to him at the bridal table, I am doing my best not to let our legs brush against each other beneath the table. I don’t even want our arms to touch because I am still reeling from our kiss and I don’t want to make it worse.

But of course, Rodion is playing the part of a newly married husband who is madly in love with his wife. His arm is constantly around me. He leans over and wraps his hand around my neck to kiss my cheek whenever he has the chance. And while we stand talking to people, he holds me close against him.

I can’t wait for this to be over.

This is all so overwhelming.

I want to go home, to my own penthouse. I need to pack this weekend and it will give me a chance to clear my head and mentally prepare for living with Rodion.

But I am about to get the shock of my life.

When it is time to leave, much to my relief, I say goodbye to my family and friends and walk with Rodion out into the parking lot. But he doesn’t let me go to my own car. He has a limousine waiting for us.

“I’ve got my car here,” I stammer, not wanting to get in with him because I am honestly a little scared of being alone with him right now.

“Get in the car, Anya. Everyone is watching. There is no chance in hell you are going to leave in a separate vehicle.”

I bite my lip. I guess he’s right. I didn’t really think about how that would look.

I smile tightly and slide into the back seat of the limo. He slides in next to me and our bodies are far too close together.

As soon as the door closes and the driver pulls away from the church Rodion says, “Besides, you are coming home with me. To your new home. As per our agreement.”

“What?” I stammer, shocked. “I need to go home and pack. I can’t just move in tonight.”

“I had them pack all your things today while we were getting married. It is all at my place,” he states.

“You did what?” I can’t believe this.

“Relax, Anya. You did agree to moving in with me, remember?”

I pull my mouth tight. I want to claw his eyes out when he stares at me like that. I’m furious. He looks smug and arrogant.

I turn my face away from him to look out of the window. I’m too tired to fight now. I’m so drained from all of that smiling and charade.

It doesn’t matter. I just want to go to bed.

The rest of the drive is silent. For me it’s tense, but I get the feeling that he is quite relaxed. It annoys me.

We arrive at his mansion and I’m stunned by the size of it. I don’t know why I expected it to be smaller.He leads me up the stairs and to the front door.

He pushes the door open and I walk inside.

I guess this is home now.

The sooner I get used to that idea, the better it will be for me.

“Please show me to my room. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep.” I sigh softly.

“Sleep? Anya, it is our wedding night. We have to consummate the agreement.” He sounds annoyed.

“What? No. I told you that wasn’t happening.”

“Of course, it is going to happen. We are married . That’s how it works,” he growls, glaring down at me.

“Just show me my room, Rodion. This is not happening. I want to go to bed.”

“Fine,” he snaps, taking my hand and dragging me into a bedroom. It’s dark blue and grey. Very masculine. Very cold. “Is this—“ I look around, feeling confused. I guess it doesn’t matter, I can make it my own. A few changes here and there and it will feel a lot softer and more welcoming.

He walks over to the chair in the corner and throws his jacket over it. Then he kicks off his shoes, pulls his tie loose and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“What are you doing?” I shout angrily.

“I’m getting ready for bed. What are you doing?” he snaps back at me.

Suddenly, a realization hits me.

This isn’t my room. This is his room.

“Rodion, this isn’t funny. Where is my room? ” I insist, standing my ground.

“Honey, this is your room. We’re married. We sleep in the same bed.”

“You promised to honor your agreement!” I shout angrily.

“And what exactly where the terms of our agreement? The only thing I remember agreeing to was that you would move in with me.”

I open my mouth to argue and then realize that is the only thing we really argued and agreed about.

I stare from him to the bed.

“I need my own room,” I whimper nervously.

“Good luck with that. There is only one bedroom in this place. You can sleep in the office if you like—or the gym? Or maybe the library or the sunroom?”

“You can’t be serious. You don’t have a single other room set up in this entire place?” I stammer in disbelief.

“Why would I? I don’t need more than one room. The rest of the house serves its own purpose.”

He tugs his shirt off his shoulders and my eyes trace over his perfectly defined abs. Fuck. He’s fucking gorgeous.

My breathing gets heavier and I shut my eyes to block him from my vision just as he starts to tug his belt loose.

I don’t want to be turned on by him. I don’t want to sleep in the same bed as him. And I am most certainly not going to have sex with him.