10. Declan

Chapter 10

Declan

L iving in the Mages’ Guild might feel confining to some, like living in a set of cold stone boxes with only a few hours of sunlight to break up the monotony. The Mages themselves were warm. Most wore smiles far more than frowns. Still, I supposed it was hard to call such a place home.

For many students, separation from their parents and families made this even worse.

For me, it was the only home I’d ever known.

I had to give it to the Mages, though. They knew how to cook. Other students spread rumors of Mages with Gifts to enhance flavor or create culinary masterpieces, but I suspected the truth was far more mundane. These round old men loved to eat, which meant they loved to cook—and we were the beneficiaries of their vices.

Who was I to complain?

I dabbed a roll in what remained of the thick, dark gravy in my bowl and savored the bite, chewing so it lasted as long as possible. Roast beef with rosemary potatoes and whole mushrooms was one of my favorite dishes. The scent of it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

As a gulp of ale chased the last of the roll down, I gathered my plate, utensils, and mug and began to rise.

“Leaving already?”

I dropped my plate.

“Irina’s tits, Rylan. You scared the roast beef right out of me.”

The older boy laughed, and a flutter raced through me as his sparkling eyes landed on mine.

“Better not let the Mages hear you curse like that. You’ll be scrubbing the dining hall floors for a fortnight.”

Rylan fell into a chair across the table from me, setting down a plate laden with beef and vegetables. A second boy plopped down beside him, their shoulders brushing with pleasant familiarity and not separating even when they began to eat. I hadn’t seen this student up close before but recognized him as the guy I’d seen Rylan tongue wrestling with in the courtyard.

“Do you know Eamon?” Rylan asked, nudging the boy connected to his arm, as though they couldn’t get close enough.

I gave the guy the universal “Yo” head bob. He grinned and lifted a hand in a tiny wave, as if we stood across the room rather than across the table.

“Hi,” he said as a blush formed on his already rosy cheeks. He batted his eyes, though I didn’t think he was doing it on purpose. This might’ve been the most timid little rabbit I’d ever met.

“Going somewhere?” Rylan asked.

I shrugged. “Just finished. Guess I’ll go study. I’m not ready for exams.”

Rylan laughed, a hearty sound that filled the air around him with joy. “Who’s ever ready for a Mage’s exam? Those old men sit around and come up with ways to trip us up. It’s what they live for.”

I grunted through a chuckle. He wasn’t wrong.

“Sit with us for a while,” Rylan said, waving a roll at me.

“Uh, okay, sure, I guess,” I stammered, unsure why this upperclassman wanted me to sit with him. I wasn’t unpopular. My sense of humor ensured most liked me—but I doubted I was anyone’s first choice for a dinner companion, especially not an older boy who was close to graduation.

But an invitation was an invitation, and I had nowhere else to be.

Eamon’s eyes tracked my every movement. I felt like a mouse in one of the Mages’ cages, wondering when the prodding might begin.

“You’re alone a lot,” Rylan said as he shoved in his first bite of beef. “Damnation, that’s good. Have you had a bite yet, babe?”

Eamon looked up at Rylan. He leaned closer. His eyes widened, then blinked. Color flared in his cheeks again. If he could’ve crawled out of his own skin and into Rylan’s in that moment, I wager he would have. His entire being was so consumed by the boy sitting next to him, I thought he might kiss him right there in the middle of the dining hall.

Eyes still locked on Rylan’s, Eamon brought a dainty bite to his lips. Slowly—ever so slowly—he took the beef in his mouth and chewed. His eyes closed, and something akin to a purr rumbled out of him.

“Told you.” Rylan’s grin broadened, then he looked back toward me. “This is our favorite thing they make.”

His use of “our” hung in the air like a tattered banner that had miraculously survived a battle. I couldn’t unsee it—or stop thinking about it.

How could he so casually refer to them as a “we”?

I mean, I knew they were together. It was impossible to watch them and not know that. Still, their open display of affection caught me off guard. Making out in the dark recesses of the courtyard was one thing. Declaring another boy as your “babe” in the dining hall, surrounded by the judging eyes of dozens of teenagers, was something completely different.

For some reason, I felt like I was intruding on another private moment.

“I should . . . maybe . . . I should go. I need to think . . . I mean study . . . or something.”

Rylan chuckled, while Eamon stared, his wide eyes reminding me of an unblinking baby deer.

“You know we’re together, right?” Rylan asked before sipping his ale. “Everyone knows, even the Mages. No one cares.”

I blinked, desperate for something to say, some response that wouldn’t make me look like an ignorant idiot, but words refused my call. I sat there, eyes flapping like shutters in a storm, mouth agape.

“You don’t care, do you?” Rylan’s question dripped with more meaning than the beef had gravy.

“Uh, no, of course not. I mean, you guys are great . . . together. You’re great together. I mean, you’re great apart, too, as individuals, as people. You’re people. That’s stupid. Of course you’re people . . . and you’re great.”

Eamon’s soft laughter snapped me out of my endless dribble.

Rylan reached across the table and gripped my forearm, his gaze so intense I couldn’t have pried myself away if I’d tried.

“It’s all right, Declan. You’re okay.”

I’m okay? What in all the hells did that mean? Of course I was okay. They were the ones dating boys and waving it around for everyone to see, not that there was anything wrong with that. I mean, I’d just hidden behind a tree and watched them as they shared an intimate moment. Maybe I popped a boner, maybe I didn’t. None of that meant anything. I’d been out there, studying, minding my own business. I hadn’t sought them out or asked to watch or get in the middle of them or . . .

Damn, the image of me, naked, in the middle of Rylan and Eamon popped into my head.

The dining hall began to swim.

No, my head swam.

The dining hall spun.

Shit, I couldn’t tell swimming from spinning.

Why was the table rising up?

Ow!

My head smacked the thick wooden table as consciousness fled.