Chapter Two

Cali

"I'm going to knock an eye out," Sage declared, standing there with her hands pressing down her tits. And, to be fair, they were some knockers. And I had dragged her to the indoor trampoline park without letting her go home to grab one of those torture devices she wore to the gym that strapped those bad boys down.

I glanced around the facility, seeing no one but the girl at the front desk who was scrolling on her phone, paying us no mind.

"Let them bounce," I suggested, doing little jumps in place that were already getting my heart rate up. "No one is here but us."

To that, Sage shrugged.

She managed three bounces.

Before she dropped down on her knees, doubled over with laughter.

"What?" I asked, smiling at her chuckle I'd always liked so much. It always seemed to bubble up from deep in her gut, down in her soul.

"Let them bounce," she repeated, shaking her head. "They bounced right out of my bra!" she shrieked, shoving her hand down her neckline to try to situate them back into her cups.

Sage, my woefully top-heavy friend, was always down for everything. Which was how we ended up at a trampoline park that was typically overrun with small children on our lunch break on a Wednesday afternoon.

She was five-foot-nothing with a body that said she did move it on occasion, but also that she was never going to turn you down on a late night trip for apps and margs. She was pale to the point of being able to make out her blue veins beneath her skin even from a distance, a lob of deep auburn hair, and big gray eyes.

"How about you give me some of that ass, and I give you some of these boobs, and we will each be perfect," she said, getting back onto her feet to do much smaller jumps.

"We're already perfect," I reminded her, suddenly thankful for my flat chest as I bounced higher and higher, throwing my arms and legs out to do airborne jumping jacks, feeling the adrenaline start to surge through my body, chasing away the stagnated feelings that had been growing all morning. I knew if I didn't get out and get moving, that the bad shit was all going to bubble up and take over.

I had to keep moving.

Keep doing.

It was the only way I was going to get through this.

It was why I was already back to work, even though my boss had been willing to give me several weeks off, if necessary.

"Show off," Sage grumbled as I sucked in a breath and did a front flip that made my belly bottom out in the best way possible.

I liked it enough that I did another and another and another. Until I ran out of trampolines.

My pulse was thumping in my ears, muffling the sounds of my thoughts, giving me the peace that I'd been seeking as I suddenly turned the car off the main street when I'd seen the sign for the trampoline park.

Sure, Sage and I were both going to have grumbling stomachs when we got back to work, but Sage wasn't about to complain, knowing how things were with me right now.

We'd been good friends since we both found out we were both dating the same guy when we were eighteen. We both dumped him, but kept each other. So she'd been through a lot with me in the past. She understood how I needed to distract myself in times of high stress or unstable emotions.

My emotions had never been as precarious as they were now.

So a little hunger was a small price to pay to keep me from absolutely losing my shit.

"You're gonna be feeling that later," Sage said as I free fell onto my back, the trampoline pushing me right back onto my feet. So I repeated it over and over again.

She wasn't wrong, my abs were starting to ache from all the new, unfamiliar movements. But I was happy for the ache. I would be glad for the pain later as the strain set in.

Pain was a reminder that you were alive.

And I was not going to take a moment of my life for granted again.

I cringed as I remembered how many times I'd turned down invitations because there would ‘be another time.' Or how I talked myself out of something because I was feeling insecure. Or wouldn't try something new because the anxiety of making a fool of myself prevented me from even trying.

I wasn't going to do that kind of thing anymore.

"Feel better?" Sage asked half an hour later, slowly bounce-walking toward where I was flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling, my hand pressed to my chest where my heart was leaping.

"I feel very… alive," I said, sucking in greedy breaths.

"That sounds like a win then, I guess," Sage decided. "If we head out soon, we could grab something greasy and disgustingly good on the way back to work."

I used to ruthlessly control my diet. Not to the point of a disorder, but always seeking something resembling balance. If I had the aforementioned apps and margs one night with Sage, then the next day or two, I ate really green and healthy. I had a family history of weight struggles and diabetes, so I, you know, tried to be somewhat healthy.

Those days were behind me now.

"I think I want a burger and nuggets after this workout," I said, hopping off the trampoline.

"Damn," Sage said, making me turn back to look at her. "The recoil on that ass is impressive."

"Almost as impressive as the recoil on your boobs," I agreed as we both made our way out of the cool, air conditioned room and into the boob-sweaty, humid early afternoon air.

"So what's your plans for tonight?" Sage asked as she cranked up the air in the car, and turned down the music I'd been blasting before in a desperate attempt to drown out the noise in my head.

She knew now that I didn't spend any nights alone in my apartment like I used to.

I knew what she thought.

That it was just the grief, that if I was alone at night, I wouldn't be able to stop crying.

She didn't know my secret little shame.

That I hadn't cried yet.

That, as the days passed, I was pretty sure I wouldn't ever cry.

That wasn't the kind of thing you could tell someone, though, not even your closest friend. That your brother had died, cut down in the prime of his life, and you hadn't shed a single tear.

I shook the thought away, refusing to dwell, refusing to think of anything at all but the next thing that needed to be done.

"Tonight is the drag show," I reminded her.

"I wish I could come to that," Sage said, lips all pouty. "Stupid obligations."

"It's your sister's birthday," I reminded her. And whether I meant it to or not, the words were still hanging heavy in the air.

At least you still have a sibling's party to attend.

"Yeah. I mean, I'd never not go. But it's Charlotte, y'know?" she said, sighing hard.

You couldn't get more opposite than Sage and Charlotte. Where Sage was laid-back and satisfied with a small, fun little life, Charlotte was the epitome of an overachiever and as uptight as you could get. She'd attended college with the sole purpose of finding either an old money guy to latch onto, or an ambitious guy intent on becoming the patriarch of a new old money family.

She'd graduated with a business degree and a ring on her finger.

Everything falling into place.

But it also meant that the party Sage was going to would be formal and uptight, full of country club food and people. All of whom would bore Sage to death.

Still, it was family.

It was worth holding onto.

I understood that all too well.

And, through me, Sage saw that as well.

Besides, Sage would always have her crazy-ass younger sister to keep her company.

"Hey, you're coming with me to the club tomorrow night," I reminded her.

"Yes, I'm gonna need all the free drinks the girls," she said, waving at her tits, "are going to buy us."

"I will never fail to be amazed by how those things can just shake money out of men's pockets."

"Right? It's almost worth the constant neck and back aches."

"You do realize we both work for a chiro, right?" I asked as we pulled up to the drive-thru lot.

"Yeah, but he's also like the hottest thing alive. And I'm pretty sure that while he was adjusting me, I would moan instead of grunt in pain."

While Dr. McCall wasn't exactly my type, I had to admit that the man was a lot of women's wet dreams. Tall, classically handsome, blond hair, blue eyes, with some delicious ink up and down his arms, and a deep, soothing voice.

"I mean I had a dream last night that he had his arms wrapped around me, adjusted my neck, then told me Good girl. The wettest wet dream ever," she said with a dreamy sigh.

"If you say so," I said, placing our order, then pulling up to the window.

"When's the last time you had a wet dream?" she asked.

"Honestly… I don't think I ever have," I admitted.

"What? How is that possible? You've never woken up tangled in your own sweaty sheets, needing to press your thighs together to ease the throbbing of your—eavesdropping much?" she asked, leaning past me to look at the guy standing at the open drive-thru window.

To be fair, he was trying to pass me back my card. But he was totally attentively listening too.

"Anyway… throbbing pussy," Sage said, just to watch the guy's eyes go wide and his cheeks go a precious shade of pink.

"Stop trying to corrupt the guy, Sage," I said, taking the drinks he almost spilled all over my car when Sage dropped the ‘p-word' so unexpectedly.

"But it's so fun," she said, leaning over me to beam at the guy who'd gone from pink to red in a split second. "One for the spank bank, right, honey?" she asked, taking him to a bright shade of tomato as he passed us our bags.

"You're awful," I said, handing the bags to her, so I could pull away.

"You love it," she shot back, pulling fries out of the bag, and popping one in her mouth.

"I do," I agreed.

—

I still did a day later as we were dangerously close to sweating through our makeup and clothes as we walked up to a line outside of the club. The line that wrapped around the corner with little signs of moving.

"Ugh, this is not going to work," she decided, looking at the girls in front of us using their wallets or hands to try to fan some cool air on their faces. "Come on," she said, grabbing my wrist, and walking up past the line, right to the bouncer.

"You're pretty as fuck," he said in all of his muscle-man handsomeness as his gaze raked over both of us. "But so are they," he said, nodding his chin toward the large group of girls standing behind the guys who were next in line.

"Sure, sure, very pretty," Sage said, turning back to the bouncer, her back fully blocking the group behind her as she grabbed the stretchy front of her dress, and yanked it down. "But do they have these?"

The bouncer cleared his throat, a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "No, baby girl, no, they don't," he said, shaking his head at her as he held out a hand, silently asking for our IDs that he ran through the machine. "Go on in. And if you don't find someone else to warm your bed tonight," he said, gaze moving over her again, "you know where to find me."

Sage was still beaming as we walked inside.

"Did you plan on flashing the bouncer tonight?" I asked. "Or do you just wear pasties all the time?"

"I mean, it's a new, hot club," she said, shrugging. "There was no way we were getting in without a little… persuasion. And there's nothing more persuasive than some nice titties. I mean, your ass probably would have done the job too," she said, giving it a smack. "But it wouldn't be quite as discreet to pull your skirt up in public."

The music got too loud as we moved inside to do any more talking. Which was fine. I wasn't here to talk. I was here to drink and dance and lose myself in the crowd.

And for the next few hours, that's exactly what I did. And when Sage found a guy to grind all over, I danced by myself, allowing the bartender to pull me up onto the bar with a trio of other girls, putting us on display for the whole club to see.

I was there.

Arms up in the air.

Hips swaying.

When a hand suddenly grabbed my wrist, yanking me down off the bar.

"The fuck are you doing?" a voice snarled at me.

Snarled.

When I whipped around to face it, ready to throw a fucking fit until someone tossed this asshole out, I saw a ghost.

Someone I was sure I'd never see again.

Brooks.

My brother's old best friend.

The guy I'd had a crush on since I was, like, ten.

Until, one day, he disappeared.

Leaving my brother behind.

And breaking my stupid, silly, girlish heart.

What the fuck was he doing here?