Chapter Nineteen

Brooks

"You got some shit to say to me?" Fallon asked as I walked back into the club after saying goodnight to Cali, trying to ignore the urge to get on my bike and follow her home.

It was kind of insane how much I wanted to be with her, how much being alone felt so… wrong.

"I don't have as much to tell you as I have a feeling I will need to. Things are still a little murky," I admitted.

"When is shit with the women around this club not murky?" he asked, shaking his head as he accepted a beer that Callow passed him. "What do you have so far? Just so I'm not blindsided by something in the near future."

"Right now I got my old best friend dead in a way that I am seriously starting to suspect was not a simple car accident."

"Sorry, man," Fallon said, wincing. "What makes you say that?"

"A cleanly cut brake line. A password protected flash drive hidden in his trunk's first aid kit. Carefully disguised code on his monthly bills, sitting out in plain sight to be found when I cleaned out his apartment. And we can't forget a fuckton of cash and a gun that was likely fired at some point in a safety deposit box."

"Sounds like a movie plot," Fallon said, shaking his head. "Alright. Well, keep me up on shit as you figure it out."

"I will," I assured him, wondering if maybe I should take the night with Cali in her apartment to unlock that drive by myself.

I knew she would be pissed about it, but I had no fucking idea what might be on that damn thing.

I was still hemming and hawing my options as Perish, a moving brick wall, ambled over toward Voss's dog, Nitro, a massive Rottweiler he'd saved from a life as a junkyard guardian, dropped down to his knees, and took the dog's face between his hands.

"There's my good boy," he cooed at him, his voice surprisingly soft for such a big, hard man. "Chase any good squirrels lately?" he asked.

"He's a violent fuck," Nave said, moving in beside me. "But he's got a soft spot for dogs."

"And women," I said, recalling the stories from Voss and Finn about how quick he was to offer to do major damage to the fucks who'd hurt their women. And that was before he was in the club. "You're hoping Fallon will patch you in finally, now that he's got three new members," I said.

"Think there's a shot?" Nave asked.

"Well, you're definitely next," I said, shrugging. He'd come in the same time as Voss, who had a patch now.

If I were being honest, the delay was likely my fault. Fallon left shit about the prospects to me. To tell him when it was time to patch someone in, when I was sure they'd proven themselves.

And to be fair, Nave had always pulled his own weight. More, at times, than Sully and Calloway. Like he was intent to prove that he did deserve his patch thanks to his own virtue, and not just because he was a legacy.

"I'll have a talk with Fallon," I added. "Voss's room is sitting empty now. No reason for you to be stuck in the prospect room any longer."

"Thanks, man," he said, clamping me on the shoulder before moving off.

My reservations about Nave were more about the fact that we didn't really know all he'd been up to in the years when he'd been away from Navesink Bank. Though we knew he'd been up to sketchy shit, since that's how he'd met Voss. He'd been tight-lipped about the rest of it, though.

Thing was, it had been years.

None of the ghosts from his past had shown up to haunt the present.

It was time.

As for Sully, I thought as my gaze slipped in his direction, finding him in a circle with Rune and Croft, likely corrupting the newer prospects with his insanity, he had a while to go before I felt comfortable with him having a patch.

Things were definitely less tense now that Sutton had gone back to Texas to finally open up our new sister chapter. Not having the two of them at each other's throats had made the morale in the club a lot more laidback.

I wondered as I watched Calloway and Perish join their conversation, if there was a lack of balance in personalities now.

Sully, a troublemaker who never thought of consequences.

Callow, who was always down for whatever his former military buddy wanted to get into.

Perish, who had a violent streak and impulse control issues.

And, of course, Rune and Croft, who, while they kept to themselves in some ways, playing their cards close to their vests, seemed just as down for a good time as the rest.

There was a sudden lack of cool, calm, and collected in the prospect pool.

Maybe normally it wouldn't bother me, since I'd always been around to babysit them all.

It was just… things were different now.

My priorities had shifted.

Sure, the club was still fucking important to me. But I was starting to see that it couldn't be my everything. I'd really been narrowing down my life for years.

Suddenly, with Cali's reappearance, it felt like it was breaking wide open again.

I no longer wanted to spend every night of my life babysitting prospects, putting kinks in their plans, being the wet blanket to their nonsense.

They were grown-ass men.

They could take care of themselves.

And if they overstepped a line, they lost their spot.

It didn't need to be more complicated than that.

I didn't have to be their fucking drill sergeant anymore.

Fuck.

That thought landed like a damn punch to the gut. Because that's exactly what I'd been since Fallon had given me my title. A goddamn drill sergeant. Nitpicking, bossing people around, keeping my standards so high that no one could meet them, no matter how much they tried.

I'd become exactly what I'd been trying to run away from when I'd joined this club instead of going into the military.

I'd become my father.

"You good?" Voss asked, making me look over, not realizing he'd moved in at my side.

"Yeah, why?"

"Cursing to yourself," he said, shrugging as he tipped back his beer.

Had I been?

I wasn't surprised.

Not with a fucking realization like that.

How the hell had I missed it? How had I let that happen?

All those years of hating that man for putting me through hell, of never thinking I was good enough, of never being allowed to let loose and have fun like everyone else my age. All the while swearing to myself I wouldn't follow in his footsteps, I wouldn't become what he wanted me to be.

Then I did exactly that.

Just in a different capacity than I'd been expecting.

A grumble moved through me as I went around the bar, finding a rocks glass, and pouring myself something stronger than the usual one beer I ever allowed myself.

If there was ever something to drink about, realizing you'd become the man you'd loathed your whole life was it.

I pounded the one round and poured another as Fallon started to move to the center of the room, ready to start church.

There wasn't really much to talk about. But church was a tradition that helped keep the club members on the same page, even when we all had very different jobs. Especially now as the club was investing in more legitimate businesses in an attempt to wash our money and stay under the government's radar.

Conversation was only just starting to quiet down as people sensed the meeting about to begin, when we suddenly heard a car door slam outside.

I glanced around, trying to figure out if anyone was missing, but all the members were accounted for who were usually around.

Was it one of the OG guys coming to hang out?

The princesses knew to stay away on church nights.

Even as I was still trying to figure out who it might be, though, the door was flying open, and my heart was dropping to my feet to see Cali standing there, her eyes wide with panic.

"Here we go," Fallon said with a smirk and a head shake.