28. MILES

TWENTY-EIGHT

MILES

I’m aching for him to kiss me. Just to close the distance and give me the connection I’m craving. He’s close enough, large body right beside mine, nerves skating through my gut at the thought of him reaching over and touching me.

I’m not used to this. To the anticipation. And not for sex—for … more. Whatever that more is, I can feel it. The heart tickles and gut churning and the way I keep needing to swallow, over and over, just by him being right by me.

“I think we should go,” I tell him, voice sounding like churned gravel.

“Should we?” Bilson looks smug as hell, and he calls me cocky. “Not enjoying our date?”

“I am, way too much. Which is why we need to leave.”

“I’m not going to argue with that logic.” He jumps up and brushes off the back of his pants, making my gaze drop to his ass. It pops out, big and round. That same desperate need to get him naked is there like always, but it’s less about wanting to be pounded and more about wanting to touch, to have nothing but skin between us.

Bilson holds a hand out to me. “I thought you were in a hurry.”

“Just admiring the view.” I let him haul me to my feet and accidentally on purpose fall against him. I give his dick a sneaky squeeze before stepping back, thrilled to find it half-hard. “Apparently, so were you.”

“You always have that effect on me. I need to find a way to make a third leg an advantage on the ice.”

“Pop a little skate on him and teach him to hold your body weight.”

“That was a disturbing image I never knew I didn’t need until now.”

I laugh, wanting to grab his hand. The chance of someone seeing us in the dark is slim, but you never know who’s around. I wait until we climb into his car, then slide my hand over his meaty thigh. I love how possessive it feels, and then, when his hand covers mine a moment later, I love how possessed it makes me feel.

Bilson drives one-handed as much as he can, only letting go occasionally to use the turn signal. I relax into my seat, trying to picture this, us, and getting to have this every day.

Do you really think they wouldn’t accept you for the teeny-tiny part of you that is your sexuality?

Bilson’s question is stuck in my head. It’s one I’ve been avoiding because the second I start thinking about it, the second I even try to consider telling them, hope sneaks in. That stupid little voice telling me, “But maybe …”

The thing is, I know there’s a chance it might go okay because I know that they love me. I know that when my parents say unconditional that they really think they mean it.

But if it doesn’t go well, it’s not just a story that will become funny in a few years’ time. I’ll lose them. I don’t think I can risk that.

So this can’t be forever because Bilson might be okay with being on the down-low for now, but it’s a temporary solution. That hurts, more than it probably should, to be honest.

“You’ve gone quiet,” he says.

I crack a smile, not about to let all those thoughts out. “Trying to figure out what position I want you to destroy my hole in tonight.”

“Tonight’s my choice.”

“Isn’t every time?”

“Nope. Because I’ve never been inside you the way I really want to.”

There go those nerves again. “What happened to me riding you?”

“We’ll start there. Give me a bit of a show, then I’m going to lay you on your back and show you what real sex is.”

My cheeks heat, and he’s not even talking dirty. “Isn’t all sex real sex?”

The way he looks at me, like he’s in on a secret, tells me that maybe I’m wrong about that.

We pull up back at his place, Bilson driving right into the garage and closing the door behind his car, and the second we have privacy, he leans over the console and tugs me to him.

His lips cover mine, warm and strong, tongue licking into my mouth before he pulls back again. “Fuck me, I’ve been dying to do that.”

“Then why’d you stop?”

“Because I want to do it again, but naked.”

He jumps out of the car, and I’m quick to follow, both of us stopping to give Killer some love before we lock him away and head for the bedroom.

“You know,” I say to Bilson’s back, “if we’re going to be sexing a lot here, we really need to make it up to Killer. Our poor baby is going to be in that laundry room constantly if I get to have you as much as I want.”

“That can be tomorrow’s plan …” He bunches his hand in the front of my shirt and drags me into the room. At first, I think he’s going to kiss me, but he shoves me backward onto the bed instead. I hit it with a soft thump, loving being manhandled as Bilson stands over me and undoes my pants. He strips them off in one smooth motion, and my briefs follow a second later. Then I get the most mouthwatering show as he unbuttons his shirt and pushes down his jeans.

The head of his cock pushes against his yellow boxers, leaving a large damp stain in the cotton. I know what it tastes like, feels like, looks like, and still, I want more.

My legs inch open, and he laughs, giving himself a quick tug.

“You are such a cock slut.”

I spread my legs wider as I struggle to get my buttons undone. “Now say that again as you rail me.”

Bilson finally pushes down his underwear and straightens, completely naked. My mouth floods with saliva at the sight, and it’s hard to know whether I want him in my mouth or my ass more. If God was a real bro, he would have gifted Bilson with two so I didn’t have to choose at all.

“No railing tonight.”

My head drops back on the mattress. “You’re supposed to love me.”

“Ha. I don’t think I said that. Shockingly.” He walks forward until he’s standing at the edge of the bed. “But don’t worry. You’re going to enjoy every second of what I do to you.”

Before I can ask what he’s planning, he grabs my ankles and yanks me to the side of the bed. I go easily, like I weigh nothing, and my cock loves the feeling, especially as he drops to his knees.

“I like where this is going,” I say.

Bilson slings my legs over his broad shoulders, then turns his head and presses a kiss to the side of my knee. “Just relax, close your eyes, and let me make you feel good.”

My balls ache at his words, but I do exactly what he said and melt into the mattress.

“Perfect. Keep doing what you’re told, and I’ll spoil you by feeding your needy ass my cock.”

Ah, fuck. My eyes slam closed, and I cover them with my hands. I want to sob I’m so turned on. Bilson knows exactly what to say to get me going, and the fact he can do it with so few words makes everything so much more heightened.

His lips find my leg again. And again. A trail of soft, sweet kisses that are making my heart beat out of my chest the closer he gets to my groin. I can’t stand the anticipation. Can’t stand how close he is to where I want him. My hips buck off the bed, and before I can say a word, Bilson’s large hand finds my ass. Hard.

The thwack echoes in my ears, and I bite back a groan of pain and pleasure.

“You’re gonna make me come before you’ve done a damn thing.”

His exhale gusts over my balls. “No coming. Not until I’m buried inside you.”

I want to demand he hurries up, but then Bilson’s tongue bypasses my cock and flicks over my hole. All words desert me. All I can do is make random sounds like I’m practicing my syllables as Bilson’s tongue drives me wild. He licks and sucks, nipping my skin gently, making my whole body vibrate. His thumb joins in, rubbing and pressing at my hole until he’s able to push inside. It’s the most incredible tease. A hint of what I want, reminding me how good it feels to be stretched open but not getting me all the way there.

Once his thumb is moving easily in and out, Bilson’s tongue takes over. He eats me out like a starved man while his hand loosely circles my swollen cock and keeps me on edge. Fingertips brush my tip and skim the nerves along my length.

I have to grit my teeth to hold back. To be good. To not come until he’s filling me. It might be his rule, but I want it as badly as he does.

Bilson’s mouth moves hungrily over me, tongue fucking my tender hole, and by the way his shoulder is moving, I’m pretty sure he’s jerking himself off too. There’s nothing hotter than knowing he’s turned on by doing these things to me.

The growl he lets out vibrates through me as he stands suddenly, throwing my legs from his shoulders as he stalks to his nightstand. He pulls out a condom and tears the packet open with his teeth while I lie there watching him roll it down his magnificent cock.

“Fair warning, whatever position you’re in when I climb on the bed is the one I’m going to fuck you in.”

It’s tempting to flip over onto my front, ass in the air, and let him go to town on me, but I don’t. I hesitate, curious, wondering what Bilson loves so much about missionary.

So instead of suggesting I ride him like we’d planned, I throw off my shirt and move up the bed until my head is on the pillow. He walks toward the bed, dark gaze roaming approvingly over my body. There’s something almost affectionate in his expression that I’ve never seen once during sex before.

He climbs over the top of me, pulls my legs around his waist, but doesn’t push right in. Instead, he brushes a kiss over my lips.

“Good choice.”

I run my fingers through his hair. “You gonna convert me to the church of missionary?”

“Yup.” He runs the smooth head of his dick over my hole. “Where you’ll pray on your back while worshiping my cock.”

“Show me.”

He presses forward, and while I’m not as stretched as I normally would be to take him, I love it. Love the way he’s going slowly, giving me time to adjust, just the hint of a burn before pure pleasure washes it away.

His face hovers over mine, and watching the expressions play over it as he fills me is my new favorite thing. “There’s nothing like being inside you.” He kisses my jaw. “Nothing.”

Fuck me, I feel the same. I love sex. Love when it’s cheap and easy and fun. But this? Being close physically, watching each other, taking our time, and letting ourselves feel, it’s a whole lot of soft emotion that I’m not used to.

I kiss Bilson’s nose because it’s the closest thing to me, and for some reason, that makes him smile. Makes his eyes go all creased in the corners.

His hips meet my ass, and we both let out a deep exhale.

“This is what I needed,” he murmurs, and as he says the words, I know exactly what he means.

“I think I did too.”

He rolls his hips, starting slow and smooth while I move with him, rocking against his body and finding a rhythm that makes us both feel good.

I still want that easy and fun sex, but I want this too.

The thing about being with Bilson is that I get to have both.

Sure, we might be touching each other gently, like I’m in awe of him, but I have zero doubt in my mind that if tomorrow I bend over and ask him to spit on me that he’ll do it.

I’m starting to learn that the only preference Bilson has in the bedroom is to make sure his partners feel good. That’s why he loves this position. That’s why he’s taken so easily to the dirty talk when it’s not something he’s tried before. That’s why he had no hesitation in being with me, even though I’m a man. What makes Bilson feel good is knowing his partner feels good.

And somehow, I’m the one he wants to share that with.

His ex-wives must have been high because being the focus of his full attention like this? Knowing that I can touch him and kiss him and hang out with him whenever I want? That we can fuck and then shoot the shit with the team? Win some games together? This has to be what people mean when they talk about heaven because life couldn’t get any better than this.

I bring his mouth to mine, giving in to my need to have him overwhelm me completely. To own my body and fill my brain until he’s the only one I can focus on.

I move against him faster, and Bilson immediately gives me what I want. His thrusts pick up, harder, deeper, pushing me up the bed and then dragging me back toward him again. My cockhead keeps rubbing precum against his abs, giving my length all the friction it needs, and as we kiss, Bilson’s teeth clack against mine, tongue greedily drinking me in, one hand gripping the bed beside me while the other kneads my ass cheek.

Every pass of his dick over my prostate sends me higher, makes my balls ache with the need to get off. Goddamn, I’m close.

“You love my cock, don’t you, baby?”

He’s trying to kill me. I can’t answer.

“Tell me.” His lips press to my ear, making his voice louder and deeper than before. “Use my name.”

“Need your cock, Bil⁠—”

He cuts me off. “That’s not my name.”

My eyes flick up to meet his as I work out what he wants. “I love the way you fuck me, Cody.”

Bilson’s long moan is everything. His forehead meets mine, and he angles my hips forward, breaching me deeper. Harder. Panting breaths falling against my skin, bruising fingers gripping my ass. He’s lighting me up from the inside out, and I get what he means.

Holding him to me like this, fucking but with feelings, this is a whole new way to experience sex, and it’s raw and vulnerable but feels exactly right. With him. “I need to come.”

His free hand is gentle as it cups my face. “Do it. I want to hear you fall apart.”

I shiver, balls pulling tight.

“I want to see my pretty little slut come on my cock.”

Nrgh. My dick explodes between us, pulsing with each spurt as it spills mess over both our abs.

Bilson’s mouth slams down over mine, and his kiss is the high I need as he pounds his way to the finish line. He stiffens over the top of me, mouth breaking from mine as he comes.

His heavy body collapses on top of me, too boneless to hold himself up, and we lie there, for the first time ever not having to hurry up and run out.

I kiss his cheek and hold him close, breathing in the smell of sweat and sex between us.

Something in my heart just … settles.