Chapter 26

It wasn’t entirelynecessary to marry simply because you’d foolishly fallen in love. Lilly squinted into the early morning light, admiring, with half her mind, the garden wreathed in thick tendrils of swirling fog. It had been a long time since she had seen a morning such as this, and she hurried to lose herself in the swirling white wisps.

The gravel path crunched beneath her slippered feet and made her wish for sturdier boots. Unfortunately, nothing like that resided in Katarina’s wardrobe.

She pulled Katarina’s heaviest shawl tight around her chest as the damp air stroked her face and lungs. Fog was one of her favorite things. In the pearly whiteness, she made out the dark shape of the central pond and wondered what the little fishes would think about her situation.

She was afraid.

Of marrying Giles, of leaving her father, of the eventual return of pain when Giles grew bored with caring for a fragile woman.

Her thoughts swirled round and round, going nowhere, like those poor creatures in the pond. They had done that from the moment she’d woken.

She loved him, but that did not mean he had to marry a broken woman. Now that she knew what was required to keep the pain at bay, Giles had no real need to marry her and limit his enjoyment of life.

Lilly would never ride a horse. She doubted that her weakened body would allow it. She would never travel far. The stress of even a short carriage ride had always produced the strongest pains. She could not even dance very much. Her body was just not strong enough to allow her to engage in much beyond a simple walk, followed by a generous amount of time wallowing on a well-padded surface.

She would make him a very poor wife and companion, indeed which was why she feared he’d soon come to regret his rash offer of marriage.

Giles was a very physical man, and not just in bed. He was always moving. Lilly could make love to him, produce his heir, but the thought of childbirth—even of carrying the child—gave her a great fear. She had a memory of someone once saying she would not be woman enough to produce a child. She rather thought they might be right.

Without Giles, her life would still be shrouded in misery. But now she knew she could plan for the future. She could not imagine having another man’s hands on her skin. But she thought she could bear the touch of a woman.

If she engaged the services of a kindly female companion Lilly could explain what to do for her pains.

As she rounded the pond, she remembered the small stone bench on a side path and headed in that direction.

As she neared the bench, a gray shape resolved into her papa’s form. He was sitting forward with his hands on his knees, staring down at the ground. He must have heard her, for he looked up sharply then let out a deep sigh. He seemed so relieved to see her that she obediently leaned down to kiss his cheek, and then sat beside him.

“Good morning, daughter. I am glad to see you up and about so early. Lord Daventry appears to have looked after you very well last night.” His compliment made her blush and she didn’t know how to reply.

“Lilly, there is no need to be embarrassed with me. The fault is all mine. Lord Daventry has quite a reputation with the ladies, and it was remiss of me to have left you alone with him. I hoped that you would be comfortable here. Not that he… Not that you would…”

“You mean you did not think he would be interested in a broken woman.”

“I did not say that,” he said quickly.

“But it is the truth, Papa, whether you wish it or not.” Lilly sighed. She preferred to live her life in reality, not fantasy. Marrying Giles was pure fantasy.

“Well, that is neither here nor there. He has compromised you and done the decent thing by offering to marry you again. He has accepted there are consequences to his actions, and that is the end of it.”

“There can be no consequences when a particular event has not taken place, Papa.” Lilly would have him know the truth before it was too late.

“Not taken place? But…you have shared his bed. Surely…he…you…?” He trailed off.

“Shared a bed, certainly, Papa. But the rest, he has not.” Lilly looked forward at the swirling fog and hid a grimace. She was lying by leaving out what sharing a bed with Giles had entailed. If there was any way to save Giles from this marriage she had to do it now. “It is true he has made me well but I will not allow Giles to give up his life to take care of me.” She still had a chance of making her own choices if her father could be convinced it was the right thing to do for everyone. “What did you see in Wales, Papa? Was the estate acceptable?”

“How do you know about that?”

The surprise in his voice convinced her to go on. “The night of your return, I listened outside the dining room and heard you tell Giles about the nice old lady and spinster daughter in Scotland. I asked Giles about it later that night. He told me the truth, Papa. He does not lie to me as you do.”

Lilly watched her father gulp down his guilt and understood his dilemma. If he admitted to the plan, he would be admitting to being tired of caring for her. After all these years, she would be tired too.

She patted his hand. “It is all right. I am very grateful for the time you have spared for me these past years. It cannot have been an easy task, and I know you must have given up a great deal of your freedom to care for me and keep mother away. The far estate is a good choice. Can I take a companion with me, do you think? I should like that better than a nurse. Tell me about the place I will go to live.”

Her father raised his hands to his face, but she did not turn to see whether he wiped away tears. Parting would be painful enough when the time came to head west.

In halting words, he told her about the house and grounds. Since there was also a small village nearby, she might even make friends and have visitors.

Lilly did not ask if he would be one of them. Why else would he choose a place so far away if he wished to be free of her?

“Now, I want to know what you spoke to Giles about earlier in his study. He would not tell me.”

“We did not want to worry you.”

“Papa, I am worried now. What could possibly make a man like Daventry shout?”

“Giles is a better man than I gave him credit for,” he chided.

“Papa, you are blind to his faults. He is a man most suitable and happy to seduce any woman. How can you be happy to have such a notorious skirt-chaser in your family? You cannot be keen on this alliance.”

“As a matter of fact, I have no issues with you marrying Lord Daventry. He does care for you. He told me that yesterday, and I believed him. You will be marrying Lord Daventry, Lillian. Just as soon as the matter can be arranged.”

“No, I will not.” She stood and looked down at her father. “You cannot make me say the words or sign the register. I am going to Wales as you’ve already begun to plan. What did you discuss with him?”

He shook his head. “You do not need know the details.”

Lilly turned toward the house, furious for the first time in many years, and left without saying a goodbye of any kind.

She ignored Carrington’s enquiries as she passed him on her way to her bedchamber. The stout door would keep those foolish men from her sight. She just might be tempted to whack some sense into their defective brains. She may not be worldly, but she wasn’t stupid. What they discussed was very much her business.

* * *

“She did not mean that,” Lord Winter promised Giles as he stepped out of the fog.

“Yes, she did.” Giles chuckled. “And I deserve a great deal more of your daughter’s anger beyond this outburst. She appears to have a terrible temper. Is that a family trait I need to prepare for? Perhaps I should acquire a suit of armor from somewhere. Maybe Ettington has had enough of that ghastly suit in his front hall.”

Lord Winter winced. “I have not seen her lose her temper in years. Not since her mother gave away her puppy.”

Giles blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“It was years ago. When Barrette was younger, he came to our estate while his parents traveled abroad. He took an instant liking to the young pup my daughter had acquired from the stables. Since my wife lived in horror of dogs but liked to indulge our nephew, she handed him over. Lillian did not take it well.”

“I do not blame her. That seems a particularly cruel thing to do to a child.”

“Yes, well, my wife was unable to bear more than one child. She had wanted a son quite desperately. She took her frustrations out on our daughter.”

“That is no excuse,” Giles argued as he glanced around. “Lady Winter seems usually cold.”

The baron shook his head. “Are you out here to spy on me, Daventry, or is there something I can do for you?”

Unfortunately, Lord Winter’s problems were Giles’ problems now.

“I was watching over Lilly. You know I have suspicions concerning her accident and the other odd occurrences all add up to a worrying conclusion. It is a situation I cannot ignore, especially when I have just learned Barrette has not left the area. Since a foggy day can hide many an act of tomfoolery, perhaps you had better come back inside.”

Lord Winter stood and glanced around quickly. “You fear for me too?”

“Let us say that you’re a little too close to that bridge for my liking. Come back inside and we will play a hand of cards.”

Giles had no wish to loiter outside on a day where there was no chance to see if Barrette crept up on them. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as it was. He hustled his soon-to-be father-in-law towards the house as fast as he could.

“Would you know if Barrette can shoot with any degree of accuracy?” Giles asked as they crossed the threshold into the drawing room and locked the door behind them.

“No. Barrette is a terrible shot. I am always surprised to see him out in the country. I don’t believe he cares for any place other than Dumas or London.”

“Of course he is here. You are here, and I understand he has become something of a shadow. I was thinking about the nursemaid you brought with you earlier. The one who disappeared in the night as soon as you departed. Did Barrette know her?”

“I don’t recall?” Winter frowned. “Wait. Yes. They have exchanged a few words now I think about it further. Barrette has always been keen on the ladies.”

“Yes, I noticed that here too which might explain how Lilly came to be drugged with laudanum again.” Giles shook his head; unable to believe any of his staff would knowingly agree to anything that would harm Lilly. “I wonder if he somehow gained access to her trays of food.”

“You are convinced he means to harm her?”

“How can you not suspect him?” Giles shook his head. “I believe Lilly’s accident was no accident at all. An angel would always behave herself. Do you know she is afraid of heights?”

“Well, of course she is, and who could blame her?”

“She was afraid of heights before the accident, Winter. Lilly would never have climbed that bridge on her own,” Giles assured him.

Lord Winter’s face paled. “How the devil did you get that out of her? We never could discover how she fell. She was too ill to answer questions, and then later she wouldn’t answer.”

“She may not want to remember. I took her to the bridge myself a few days after her recovery, and she told me of an incident with a kitten, an apple tree, and your valet. She said she had been hysterical even then.”

“You are right, come to think of it. Lilly was as white as a ghost. We all thought she’d climbed that bridge.”

“We? Would that be you and Barrette, perhaps?”

Lord Winter passed a shaking hand over his brow. “He was a kind boy before his father’s passing.”

“Things change—people die,” Giles reminded him, even more certain to be on guard for Lilly’s sake. He did not know how far Barrette might be prepared to go to achieve his misguided goal of saving the estate from the loss of Lilly’s ridiculous dowry. At least Winter had compromised on the amount, but it would be better to be prepared.

“Did you teach my daughter to play cards?”

“I simply refreshed her memory. She learns fast.” Giles glanced at Lord Winter’s clenched fist and sighed. Oh, his previous life was irritating. He was well known to favor table stakes when gambling privately with women, and quite often clothing was gambled away too. But everything he had done with Lilly had been fresh and very different from his usual antics. It was not Lord Winter’s fault if he anticipated the absolute worst of him.

“You taught her to gamble to trick her into your bed,” Lord Winter fumed.

“I taught her to play cards. Not to gamble,” Giles corrected. The least he could do was tell the truth about that. “Lilly placed her bets with some help from my signals.”

“So Lillian was correct when she said that she was not bedded?”

“She said that, did she? Silly widgeon. Winter, I hate to bring up such a delicate subject, but I promise you I have compromised your daughter most thoroughly. It is taking all my fortitude to restrain myself until our marriage, but she won’t make it past the first ten minutes with what’s left of her virginity intact when the happy day arrives.” Giles chuckled, anticipation making him giddy. He would be very happy to keep her trapped in his bed for the first six months of marriage.

Lord Winter pressed his lips together tight, but said nothing further as they passed the afternoon playing cards. Giles supposed he should not be quite so blunt about the matter of bedding Lilly, but Winter appeared to take it quite well. Giles found it a relief to be able to be himself with his future father.

They ate dinner without Lilly. Winter watched for her, but Lilly did not come or send a note. Giles wasn’t worried. He would see her when he went to bed. He was looking forward to holding her in his arms again.

Giles walked into his bedchamber at close to midnight and stripped off his clothes in the dark. He hardened in anticipation of running his hands over Lilly’s curves as his fingers touched the sheets. She was filling out, and the sight of her ribs no longer pained him by their sharpness. He climbed into bed, eager, but found only cold sheets and emptiness. Damn that woman. Lilly was going to be the death of him.

Giles jumped back out of bed, pulled on his shirt and trousers, and strode out the door towards Lilly’s room. He turned the handle but found she’d locked the door. He knocked, but heard no sounds within. Not even the dog. Silly widgeon. She forgot he could use the housekeeper’s key.

He hurried down the hall and found the servants’ stairs leading to the exit closest to Mrs. Osprey’s office. Once he woke the housekeeper and took the set from the sleepy woman’s fingers, Giles turned back to the stairs, but something stopped him. He dragged in another breath and froze.

Smoke.