Chapter 19

The discussionwith Lord Carrington had taken hours and, in the end, Giles had not been able to convince his friend that Lilly wouldn’t trick him into marriage. She simply wasn’t so calculating.

They had parted company when it seemed likely they could come to blows over Carrington’s disparaging remarks, and his friend had taken off on a country walk to cool his head. Just in case he got lost, Giles had asked for one of the grooms to follow discreetly. Carrington might navigate society with barely a thought, but he’d become lost within five minutes in the country if he were truly alone.

The door creaked and Giles prepared to deal with his friend in a more rational frame of mind. However, it was not Carrington at all but his housekeeper.

“Beg pardon for disturbing you, but I wish to speak with you about Miss Winter. She returned an untouched luncheon tray and has let a whole pot of tea grow cold without tasting a drop. She won’t say why.”

“Do you mean to say she’s not eaten since breakfast?” Giles demanded, irritated by the news.

Mrs. Osprey nodded, shifting her weight from foot to foot on the other side of his desk.

“Is she ill, madam?”

“Oh, no, sir. Not ill. Well, not perhaps, as you might understand matters. No, not ill at all,” Mrs. Osprey assured him, but he still did not understand what the problem could be.

Watching her wring her hands in tongue-tied agitation, Giles placed both hands on the desk and rose to his feet. “Dithers!”

At his shout, Mrs. Osprey went pale. “Oh, I could not. I just could not.”

The butler could help him deal with this vexing creature. He usually knew how. Giles held a hand out to stop the flow of words while he waited.

“Dithers, finally,” Giles cried as the door burst open. “See if you can get some sense out of this woman, will you? Apparently, I need to know something about Miss Winter, but Mrs. Osprey cannot bring herself to tell me. At least not in a manner that I might understand clearly, if you catch my meaning.”

Dithers’ expression stated he did not understand anything at all, but he moved toward Mrs. Osprey. When Mrs. Osprey met his gaze, her eyes firmed at once and she swiveled to face Giles, appearing right-minded for the first time since his return to Northamptonshire.

“It is a private matter, my lord.”

Giles could see Dithers taken aback by her sharp tone. Mrs. Osprey appeared to be a woman in complete control of her mind. A nagging suspicion formed. It was not only men who played games to get what they want.

Crafty woman! She’d played helpless to keep Dithers near.

Giles waved the man away. “Dithers, you are dismissed.”

Mrs. Osprey hid a smile and Giles gestured toward the garden door. She stepped through with firm steps and walked ahead of him to a spot where they could not be overheard.

Giles folded his arms across his chest. “Now, what the devil is going on?”

Mrs. Osprey clasped her hands together. “My Lord, I understand it if you’d prefer not to be involved directly with the young lady, but Miss Winter’s behavior today gives me great concern.”

Giles’ heart dropped to his toes, but he managed to strangle out a convincingly neutral, “Oh.”

“When I was with her earlier this morning, and I know this is of no concern to gentlemen, but I did notice that her woman’s time was upon her. At least that is what I believed then. When I left her, she seemed cheerful, but luncheon came and went and she ate nothing. She stayed on the chaise, and has not moved. When I took tea upstairs just now, she was still there and had a look about her I did not like. She does not confide in me, my lord, but I believe her to be in some sort of shock. Do you think something may have happened to her during the night? Perhaps, something sinister that could have overset her nerves?”

Giles stood rooted to the spot. Nothing sinister had happened to her other than sharing bed space with him. Nothing to account for the bleeding anyway. And Giles had not entered her. Not even with the tip of a finger. He had managed to keep his head and remained on the outside of Lilly’s body through the entire glorious event.

No, it must be as Mrs. Osprey had first assumed, her woman’s time was upon her and she was upset about it. He had not left her bed until the early morning light had first illuminated her room. He had slept all night in Lilly’s bed, even keeping his boots on his feet.

Right now, though, he had a problem. Mrs. Osprey assumed, as he had wanted her to assume, that he had no serious interest. He had thought she might have been hiding from him out of shyness, or perhaps from Lord Carrington, and he wanted to smack his head into a very hard tree for not thinking to check on her earlier.

He should have treated her very differently after last night, and he needed to go see her now. Was it possible she came downstairs, heard his and Carrington’s discussion, and hadn’t cared for what was said about her? Neither he nor Carrington had remembered to keep their voices particularly low.

“You will need to speak to the girl, I suspect.” Mrs. Osprey rocked on the balls of her feet. “I don’t know how she will feel about it all, but perhaps you could talk to her in private. I can wait outside in the hall, or at the edge of the room.”

Bless Mrs. Osprey. He did not even have to suggest behaving improperly. Perhaps she still could read his mind as he had once thought. “Yes, I suppose a private discussion would be best and prove less embarrassing all around. Thank you for suggesting it, Osprey. I will be there directly.”

“Oh, that is so good of you, my lord.”

He looked about him and spotted a pretty flower in a nearby bed. A flower might lift Lilly’s spirits. Once Mrs. Osprey turned her back, Giles pinched it off the bush and tucked it into an inner pocket before he followed her inside.

There was no response to Giles’ quiet knock on Lilly’s door but he entered anyway. Instead of finding her propped up in bed, under the covers as usual, Lilly lay curled on her side on the chaise. Giles kicked the door closed, keeping Mrs. Osprey out, and drank in her subtle and very distinctive scent.

Arousal tightened his trousers and he fought it. Her face had a pinched look about it that troubled him a great deal. When he crossed the room and bent over the chaise, she did not move. He opened her hand and twirled the flower across her palm, but didn’t get a pleased grin in return.

He clasped her hand tight, pressing the flower between their palms, and noticed how clammy she was.

“Lilly, darling, whatever is the matter?” Giles reflected wryly that he asked her that a great deal.

“I’m dying, Giles.”

“Dying!” he exclaimed. “I don’t think so, my girl. You will feel better in a day or so.”

“A day or so? Will it take that long? I don’t think I can bear this.”

“Well, in my experience, most women find these first few days unpleasant, but I have never heard of anyone dying from it,” he assured her, rubbing his thumb across the back of hers, pleased by her increasing color.

“Are you telling me that all women go through this? That pleasure produces this weakness?”

“Weakness? What the devil are you talking about?” Giles settled to his knees. “Your monthly courses have nothing to do with pleasure, my darling. They have to do with producing children.”

She looked at him in horror and an abhorrent idea took hold.

“Did no one ever explain women’s matters to you?”

She shook her head very quickly.

Giles clenched her hands tight. “Poor darling, what a wretched morning you must have had. I would berate your father for this, if I did not think he would shoot me for knowing such personal details about you.”

“Children?”

“Ah, I see I am going to take this from the very beginning. I promise you are not dying. Here, let me see if I can explain this. Just remember that my point of view is from the man’s side of things and a woman could explain it better.” He deliberately chose not to say her own mother, but she should have been the one to educate the girl long before the accident.

An hour later, he summoned Mrs. Osprey to fetch tea and arranged for Lilly to dine with him and Carrington so the necessary introductions could be made. Her color grew better. A lot better. His explanations had caused a lot of blushing on her part, and a fair amount of tension on his.

They had told her nothing. Everything she knew about women came from him. First from watching him bed others, and the rest from today’s frank talk.

“And I’ll bleed every month.”

Giles pulled her against his shoulder. “Until the time your body grows too old to bear children.” He kissed the top of her head, imagining her holding an infant in her arms. He slammed the door shut on that kind of thinking.

In all the years of her illness, she had not been aware of her own monthly flux. Perhaps this was the first time Lilly had ever been lucid enough to recognize it. It was also possible that it had been completely absent, too. He would dearly like to know the answer, but satisfying his curiosity would end in a meeting with a smoking pistol.

“You must think me a complete imbecile, Giles. I am so sorry Papa brought me here to trouble you.”

“I am not sorry at all. You are very sweet and delightfully innocent, Lilly. Better to blunder with me than someone else. Better to hear the truth from a friend, I think.” Giles squeezed again and she wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping him tightly without provoking a feeling of suffocation other women had. Yes, they were good friends indeed. She needed someone on her side. Eventually Carrington would see she expected nothing more than that.

* * *

If Giles had whispered that she had two heads instead of one, Lilly would have an explanation for the cross looks Lord Carrington directed at her across the well-set mahogany. Odd to say, but she was uncomfortable with the most charming man in London. She didn’t care for him. He didn’t look the least bit friendly.

“Just how long will you be staying in Northamptonshire, Miss Winter?”

She glanced at Giles’ impassive expression before answering to the viscount. Given the belligerent stare Carrington offered in return, she put her fork down, quite losing her interest in food. “Until my father returns. As I believe I mentioned already, I don’t know when that will be.”

Carrington turned to Giles and quirked an eyebrow. He said nothing, but some form of private communication passed between them. Lilly couldn’t determine initially what a raised eyebrow might mean. But, as the silent exchange lengthened, she had a horrible feeling that look was about her and her unchaperoned state.

“Winter will return for his daughter in due course, Carrington. Never fear.”

The viscount snorted at Giles’ words, and she realized that the viscount did, in fact, think she had plans to entrap the earl in another betrothal. Shocked, she turned to Giles again, but his only response was to nudge her leg under the table.

Giles took a sip of his wine, rolling the taste in his mouth, as always. “Did you receive the same curtly worded invitation to Warwickshire for Christmas as I did, Carrington?”

“Yes,” Carrington replied, settling back in his chair with ease. “Ettington’s letter arrived last week. Mother has one as well.”

“Will you be attending?”

Carrington pursed his lips. “That will depend, of course, on when my intended becomes my wife, but I fear I may distress the new marchioness if I fail to put in an appearance. Pixie seems a managing sort. She’d not like her plans thwarted.”

“Yes, I wouldn’t want Pixie irritated myself. Ettington would take me to task for disappointing his new wife.”

Carrington glanced Lilly’s way. “Will you be attending, Miss Winter?”

“No.” Lilly pressed her napkin to her mouth, and then placed it over her half-full plate. “My father has little to do with the marquess. A marquess is quite beyond my father’s circle of acquaintances.”

Hearing the men plan future entertainments in her presence to which she would never be invited accounted for the bite to her remark. Giles had a great life, he had many friends beyond this peaceful estate. A life filled with excitement, a large circle of acquaintances willing to laugh at his jokes. In comparison to Giles’, Lilly’s Christmas would be bleak.

Giles cleared his throat. “Where will you be for the Christmas season, Lilly?”

When she glanced at Giles, she could see a deep frown across his brow. She managed a half smile. “Wherever my father chooses to spend it? I believe last Christmas was spent in London.”

The most charming man in London wore a puzzled expression. “You believe?” Carrington laughed. “Don’t you remember?”

What must it be like to be as popular as Lord Carrington? Never questioned, always accepted. Lilly couldn’t imagine that kind of life. “No, my lord. I do not.” Lilly rose to her feet. “If you gentlemen would excuse me, I would like to retire and allow you both to enjoy your evening. Good night to you.”

Both men stood as she left the room, Atticus trailing at her side.

“You blinkered idiot, Carrington,” Giles whispered furiously behind her. “Must you distrust everyone?”

Lilly didn’t stay to listen to anything else.

She hadn’t chosen to come here and her attempt to make a good impression on one of Giles’ closest friends had failed quite spectacularly.

Footsteps echoed loudly in the hall.

“Lilly, wait.”

Giles caught up her arm and dragged her against his side. “Darling, Lilly, I apologize for Carrington.” Lilly stiffened. “He doesn’t know you and sees deceit in every female. He thinks to save me from enduring a similar fate as his own.”

A second set of footsteps echoed in the hall and Carrington came into view. His face held an odd expression. If Lilly had to bet, he was worried. She pulled her arm from Giles’ grip and stepped back.

“Carrington. Wait for me in the drawing room.” Giles raked his fingers through his hair as the younger man departed. “I had hoped you two might have become better acquainted, but I don’t think I want knives flinging across the table.”

When she could no longer hear his friend’s steps, Giles gathered her in his arms. “I’m so sorry he touched on a sensitive subject. Christmas must have been lonely for you.”

Lilly shrugged. Christmas might be lonely, but it was just a single day in the empty life ahead of her. “You are hardly to blame for the past.”

“I know I’m not to blame, but I do regret I never stirred myself to confirm the words your mother uttered.”

Pulling away from his embrace proved difficult. It seemed he was far less worried about the risk of scandal than he should be. Carrington could come back at any moment. “You were free, Giles. Why would you have bothered to discover what became of me?”

“Lilly, if I had realized that you existed in such pain, I would like to think I could have made your life far more comfortable than it has been. I could have made you as well as you are now.”

Lilly stared at him. He was serious. He would have done everything in his power to see that she didn’t suffer. Too bad she’d had to go through all her suffering in order to learn that the Earl of Daventry would have made an admirable husband, if fate had chosen a different life for her.