46. Colton

46

COLTON

“ I t’s okay, baby. I’m right here.”

Something soft and warm brushes across my knuckles as her sweet yet sexy voice flows through my ears.

She’s here.

However, I have no idea where here is.

Not that it matters, as long as she’s with me.

“We’re all waiting for you, baby. Hell, the whole world seems to be waiting for you,” she continues, confusing me.

The world?

Why the hell would they care about me?

Her grip on my hand changes, both of hers cradling mine gently.

I want to squeeze back, to let her know that I can hear her. But I can’t. My body won’t cooperate.

I try so hard that I exhaust myself and I drift back off into darkness.

Although, I have to wonder if I was already there.

None of this is real.

It can’t be.

“ Y ou’re one lucky motherfucker. Do you know that, Bro?”

The voice startles me, but I know exactly who it is.

West.

He should be in Chicago. He plays for the Chiefs.

Why is he here?

Where is here?

I’m dreaming. I have to be.

“I don’t think you truly understand how much she loves you. I guess you can’t while you’re out of it.”

Out of it? Why am I out of it?

“She’s barely left your side. She can’t. It rips her apart when she has to go and pee. She’s going crazy over the fact she won’t be here when you wake up.

Wake up…

So, I am asleep.

Although, I’m not sure sleep has ever really felt like this before.

My body is heavy. No. It’s heavier than that.

But at the same time, I can’t feel it.

I felt her touch, sure. But right now, without it, I can’t figure out where my hand is or how to make it work.

It’s weird.

Fucking terrifying, actually.

“Tell me that you’re going to come back to her, Colt. You’ve wasted so much time being a selfish prick.But the truth is, you need her as much as she needs you. You always have. You were always just too fucking stubborn to let it happen.

“I didn’t realize how bad it was until she came here.Talking to you, it’s like you’re a completely different person.You sound happy. Fuck. You fucking smile, Bro. I haven’t seen that kind of a smile on you for…well, I’ve no idea how long.”

He sighs while my insides churn with emotion.

He’s right.

Fuck. He’s so fucking right that it cuts right down to my soul.

This past week has hands down been the best week of my life.

Having Ella by my side, in my apartment, in my life…

It’s been everything I’ve never allowed myself to dream about.

That and then some.

I want her.

I need her.

I always have, and I’m pretty sure I always will.

One second everything is okay—well, far from okay, because I have no idea what the fuck is going on—and then the next, everything is in chaos.

My throat sears with pain, my heart pounds heavily in my chest, machines begin beeping, and footsteps pound against the floor.

“Colt?” West asks, fear lacing his voice.

Hearing it makes my blood run cold. But it’s got nothing on the panicked cry of Ella a second later.

“Colt. Oh my god, what’s going on?’ she screams.

Hands touch me, but they’re not hers.

Finally aware of my limbs, I try to fight them off before my hands go to my mouth.

What the hell?

There’s something in my mouth…something…

My own panic begins to escalate.

“Colton,” a soothing voice says. “Everything is fine. We need you to calm down, okay? We know this is scary, but I promise you, everything is okay.”

Okay?

Okay?

How is any of this okay right now?

In the distance, I can hear sobbing and my heart shatters.

I’m hurting her.

I never want to fucking hurt her.

There are voices and hands everywhere, but I can’t focus on them. All I can hear is Ella. The sound of her voice makes my heart beat harder

Darkness threatens to drag me back under, but I fight it. I fight it so hard.

I want to be with her. I want to see her, to listen to her voice.

I want her hands on me, not these strangers’.

“Colton, we’re going to take the tube from your throat. It’s going to feel a little strange, okay?”

A tube in my throat?

Why is there a?—

Whoever it is pulls it free, and she’s right, it feels weird as fuck.

My eyes flicker and light sears through, burning my retinas.

I take a deep breath the second it’s free, but that’s all I remember.

Everything goes dark and sleep claims me once more.

W hen I come to again, I feel a little more normal.

My body is still completely fucked. I’m still not sure where my limbs are, but my brain is a little clearer.

A soft snore comes from my right. A snore I recognize.

It takes every single ounce of strength and energy I have to turn and look, but I manage it.

Pain shoots down my neck, spreading out through my body.

My chest heaves and sweat beads on my brow.

What the fuck happened?

I drag my eyes open, relieved to find that the lights are dimmed. Although, I still squint, and the image of the room is blurry.

It takes long seconds for my vision to clear, and the moment it does, the only thing I can see is her.

My Ella.

She’s curled up on an uncomfortable-looking cot bed with a thin-as-fuck blanket pulled up to her chin.

Her hair is pulled back and her face is clear of makeup.

Her eyes are dark. If I couldn’t see her sleeping, I would think she hadn’t had any for days. Her full lips are parted and her complexion is pale. She’s beautiful. She always will be to me, but she looks ill.

My chest aches with concern.

I might have no idea of what’s going on here, but I do know that I’m hurting her.

She’s here right now because of me.

She’s not looking after herself because she’s too focused on me.

Shame and regret burn through me.

I lie there for the longest time, just watching her sleep.

She’s so peaceful.

That’s all I want for her. And she deserves nothing less.

I’ve no idea how much time has passed when the sound of a door opening fills the room.

I should probably look to see who it is, but I can’t. I can’t take my eyes off her.

“Colton,” a female voice says happily. “It’s so good to see you awake.”

Slowly, I close my eyes and focus on turning toward the voice.

I find a friendly-looking nurse staring at me with a wide smile on her face.

“How are you feeling?” she asks before plucking a clipboard from the end of my bed and studying it.

I don’t respond. I can’t.

It’s all I can do to swallow. I don’t dare try to speak.

“It looks like you’ve had a very good night,” she continues before coming closer and checking my vitals. “Still looking great, young man.”

My brows pinch as I watch her move around, doing her job.

I swallow again and put everything I have into attempting to form words.

“W-why?” I rasp, already exhausted.

There’s movement on my other side, and the next thing I know, my girl’s voice fills my eyes.

It is the best sound in the fucking world.

“Colt. Oh my god, Colt.”

She’s at my side in a heartbeat.

Tears stream down her cheeks, and her bottom lip trembles with emotion as she grips my hand in both of hers and stares into my eyes as if she’s watching a miracle happen right in front of her.

“You’re awake,” she whispers in disbelief.

“El—”

“Don’t,” she says, reaching out and pressing two fingers to my lips to stop me from trying to speak. “Just rest, yeah?”

I nod once, hoping that she can see in my eyes how I feel about her being here right now.

The nurse finishes whatever she needs to do before promising to come back soon and leaving us alone.

Ella reaches out and cups my cheek. My face itches with a couple of days’ worth of stubble and I close my eyes for a beat, wondering how long I’ve been here. How long I’ve made her suffer for.

“West will be here soon. He’s refused to go back to Chicago until you wake up,” she explains to me. “Your dad’s been here too. But he had to head out.”

I hold her eyes as she talks about my family.

I can’t say I’m surprised that West put me before football. It’s something Dad has never been able to do. Unless it was for a woman, of course.

“All the guys have been here, too. Luca, Kane, Brax. The girls, obviously. Even my mom is here.”

My eyes widen in surprise.

“The girls called her. Apparently, I was being stubborn and refusing to listen to them, so they called in the big guns.”

A sad laugh spills from her lips.

“It worked. It’s the only time I’ve left your side, baby. I’ve been right here fighting with you.”

As much as her words comfort me, they also terrify me.

“We’re going to get through this, Colt. It’s just a bump in the road, yeah?” she says as a hopeful expression covers her face.

A bump.

This feels bigger than a fucking bump.

The word “ventilator” floats around in my head, and I lift my free hand to touch my throat.

“Wh-what h-happened?” I whisper, my voice rough as fuck.

Ella reaches for a cup with a straw on the little table by my bed, and I take a sip—not that it does much good.

When she turns back to me, I find the hopeful expression is long gone. In its place is fear. Pure, unfiltered fear.

She wipes a tear away as soon as it drops. If she thinks that’s going to stop me from seeing her pain, then she really needs to reconsider. It’s oozing from her in waves.

She’s about to respond, but before any words escape, the door opens and my little brother bounces into the room.

“Colt,” he breathes, a blinding smile spreading across his face before he rushes to my side. “Fuck, Bro. It’s so good to see you awake.”

Alive. What he means is alive.

Whatever happened…it was bad. Really fucking bad.

“I n-need—” I suck in a deep breath, trying to find strength from somewhere. “I need to kn-know.”

West holds my eyes firm, and unlike Ella, who is trying to avoid telling me the truth, I know he’s not going to hold back. It’s not how we work.

“You went into cardiac arrest on the field.”

His words hit me like a fucking Mac Truck.

“We thought you died.”

Ella sobs.

“I-I…haven’t,” I force out as Ella falls apart, clutching my hand like it’s a lifeline.