43. Ella

43

ELLA

M uch to my surprise, everyone leaves me alone in the bathroom for quite a while. I guess they’re too distracted with food.

Eventually, though, my peace is disturbed when Letty comes in search of me.

I hate how she finds me, curled up on the floor of one of the cubicles, but it is what it is. I’ve got bigger issues right now.

It takes a while, but eventually, she convinces me to go back.

Kane has left. Someone needed to go and rescue Kyan from his poor sitter. But everyone else is still here. The guys look wrecked, but they refuse to leave.

It warms my heart that Colt is so loved. I just wish I could tell him. Explain to him that we’re all here fighting with him.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” Letty says, holding a bag of chips in front of me.

I shake my head, my stomach rolling at just the thought of having something inside it.

She gives me a small smile but surprisingly doesn’t argue.

The room falls silent and I stare at the clock, watching as the minutes tick by and we don’t hear anything.

No news is good news, right?

When the door finally does open, my heart jumps into my throat as all the others spring to their feet.

“What’s happening?” Luca asks the second West appears.

I thought the others looked rough, but they’ve got nothing on him. He looks like he’s been awake for a month and been to hell and back twice.

“No news. He’s stable,” he explains before turning his eyes on me. “Dad’s going to his hotel. I’ve spoken to him. Explained. Once he’s gone you can come back.”

The sob of relief that rips from my throat doesn’t even sound like me.

I’m on my feet and racing toward him in a heartbeat.

My legs barely hold me up, I’m so exhausted, but thankfully, the second I collide with his chest, he wraps his arms around me and holds me up.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Anything, El. You know that.”

“What happened with your dad?” Brax asks.

I don’t see it, but I feel it when West shakes his head at his best friend.

I’m about to ask how long I have to wait to see him when a shadow falls over us from outside the room.

“Coach Rogers,” Luca greets coolly.

My blood turns to ice, my entire body locking up as I prepare for what he might have to say to me now.

“Dunn,” Dalton states with a curt head nod. “Son, I’ll be back in the morning. Call me if there’s news.”

“I will.”

“And,” he says before his eyes drop to me, “I hope you’re right.”

“I’m always fucking right,” he states. I don’t need to look up to know he’s attempting to smirk.

Dalton makes some kind of noise at the back of his throat before bidding West goodnight.

“Come on. Let’s go and see your man,” West says without missing a beat.

He tucks me into his side and guides me back to Colt’s room.

I curl back up in the chair beside him and hold his cool hand tightly in one of mine.

“If you need to go and shower or eat or?—”

“Try and get rid of me all you like, but I’m not leaving this hospital, El.”

“I’m not trying…” I start to argue but quickly trail off. “You need to look after yourself. You’re going to have to play again soon and?—”

“I love you for worrying about me, I really do. But I’m okay. Trust me, yeah?”

“I do,” I assure him before turning my eyes back to his big brother. “Thank you,” I say again, more grateful than he could ever believe that he talked their dad into letting me back in here.

He falls silent for the longest time, scrolling through his phone while I watch Colt rest.

“I’ve been keeping tabs on Benny,” West suddenly says, making me look over at him. “His stats are good. He’s having a good season.”

“Yeah?” I muse, pride for my little brother bubbling up. “He’d probably do even better if he could focus solely on football and forget the girls for a bit.”

“Pfft, where’s the fun in that? It’s stress relief; you know that as well as I do.” He winks.

I shake my head as a few of the times I helped Colt with “stress relief” flicker through my mind.

“Sure. I just don’t want him to miss out on something epic because he was too busy securing his next lay. God, am I really talking about my little brother like this?” I mutter to myself.

“He’s not so little anymore. He’s going to be a killer draft pick when the time comes. I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. Does he have any ideas for where he wants to go?”

We fall into an easy conversation about Benny’s dream teams and what his future in the NFL could look like.

Just like West, Benny has been dreaming about playing professionally since the first time he touched the pig skin.

Dad always thought it was a pipe dream from watching games on the TV. But then he started playing in middle school and we were all blown away.

“I’m going to go and stretch my legs. Grab a coffee or something,” he says. “You want anything?”

I shake my head.

“El,” he warns.

“Surprise me,” I relent.

He smiles, but there isn’t much joy in it.

With another look at his brother, he takes off.

Silence falls around me, making the walls feel like they’re closing in.

“So…your dad is…fucking terrifying,” I start, unsure of what else to say. “I don’t want to condone violence against your parent, but did you hear what he said? He meant it, too. I get it. You’re a player. Vowed to never give your heart to anyone. But seriously?

“West confessed to you talking about me, though. I’d love to know what you told him.” A small smile plays on my lips. While I thought he didn’t care, he was telling his dad about me.

If only Colt had shown that side to me sooner. If he wasn’t so scared to open up and be vulnerable, things could have been so much different.

No.

I shut down that train of thought.

Everything that happened did so for a reason.

We were always meant to have the time apart we did. It made us stronger. Showed us what we really wanted.

Although, I’m not sure what our current situation is teaching us. Maybe that he should retire early.

Become a househusband.

The image of him in an apron baking fills my mind and I start laughing.

I think it’s the fear and exhaustion that’s got my body in a tight hold, but I completely fucking lose it.

By the time West comes back, I’ve got fresh tears running down my cheeks and I’m hiccupping as I try to decide if I want to laugh or cry.

“Ella?” he asks, moving closer to me with a deep frown marring his brow.

Hiccup. “I’m okay. Just…delusional, I think.”

“You should try and get some sleep. In fact—” He disappears again before he has a chance to finish that sentence, leaving me wondering what idea just popped into his head.

He’s only gone a minute or two, and when he returns, he announces that it’s sorted.

“What is?” I ask, confused.

“Just wait. In the meantime, I got you these.”

He hands over an entire sharing size bag of mini Hershey bars, knowing that they’re my ultimate weakness.

“I think you deserve one or fifty right now.”

Unable to deny myself, I rip the top off and reach for a little chocolate as the door opens and Colt’s nurse walks in, tugging a cot bed behind him.

“What’s that?—”

“For you, El,” West tells me. “You need to rest, and I know better than to try and convince you to leave. So…Oh no,” he says when he sees my threatening waterworks. “It’s not meant to make you cry.”

Blinking rapidly, I try to force them back before I lose control again. How I’m still able to cry after all the hours and liters I must have lost this evening is beyond me.

“You’re one of a kind, Weston Rogers,” I tell him before unwrapping a chocolate and pushing it into my mouth.

I groan the second it begins to melt on my tongue. It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself a taste. It is so good.

“I’ll go and grab you a pillow and a blanket. I can’t promise it’ll be the most comfortable bed you’ve ever slept in, but it’s the best I can do.”

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

After allowing myself no more than four chocolates, I pull the bed as close to Colt as I can and curl up on my side.

I don’t close my eyes for the longest time, despite my body craving for me to do so.

“Are you really okay in that chair?” I ask, feeling guilty.

“Sleep, El. I promise to wake you if anything happens. He needs you. I need you.”

Unable to fight it any longer, I let myself drift off.

W hen I next come to, it’s to the sound of someone shuffling around me and hushed voices.

It takes me a second to remember where I am, but the second I do, it hits me with the force of an eighteen-wheeler.

I listen to the sounds of the doctor or nurse reading stats out loud and I pray they’re good.

We need some positive news. I’m not sure I can get through another day without knowing he’s going to be okay, or at least moving in the right direction.

They finish their checks before telling Colt they’ll be back again in an hour before quietly leaving the room.

I don’t open my eyes until I’m confident everyone has left. I don’t want their looks of empathy or kind words.

The second my lids open, I find him.

He’s lying exactly as he was before I fell asleep. His expression is still blank, his lips still slightly parted, the tubes and wires all still in place.

As I blink the sleep from my eyes, I wonder if he has a little more color in his cheeks, but I quickly banish the thought. I don’t want any false hope.

On Colt’s other side, I find West sitting awkwardly in the chair, his eyes closed and his mouth open as he sleeps. Guilt washes through me. He needs this bed. He might be granted a few days off, but he’s going to have to get back to training sooner rather than later, and he doesn’t need to be battling kinked muscles from sleeping in a chair.

But that’s nothing compared to the moment my eyes lock on the tub of Hershey bars.

I swear I only had four, but as I stare at it now, I find it’s half empty.

My stomach knots as bile rushes up my throat.

Before I register it, I’ve thrown the blanket off and I’m running toward the bathroom.

I drop to my knees in front of the toilet and bring up what’s left of my chocolate binge.

The second I’m done and fall back on my ass, disgust, shame, and self-hatred engulf me.

Wrapping my arms around my legs, I pull them up to my chest and sob with my head resting on my knees, desperately trying to keep quiet. The last thing I need is anyone witnessing this.

As soon as I feel capable, I push to my feet and clean up as if nothing happened.

As I slip out of the bathroom, the door clicks closed louder than I was expecting and West suddenly sits upright, his eyes wide and panicked.

“What’s happening?”

“Nothing. Everything is fine,” I lie. “Did you want to take the bed? I’m awake now.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. It’s all yours.”

He pads toward me before taking my face in his hands and leaning forward to press a kiss to my head.

I cringe, aware that I probably smell like vomit. But if he notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“Just a couple more hours, then I’ll keep you company.”

“Take all the time you need,” I say with a smile I don’t mean before curling into the chair and holding Colt’s hand once more.

“Come back to me, baby. Please. I can’t lose you again. I won’t survive it.”