35. Colton

35

COLTON

I stare at her, my heart like a runaway train in my chest.

Disbelief floods my veins at what I just confessed.

But as freaked out as I am that I said the words, I don’t regret them.

How can I when they’re true?

What’s really got me dumbstruck is her own confession.

“I don’t want to go back to Texas.”

Neither of us says anything as the scent of our dinner mixes with the pretentious air freshener the realtor gave me as a moving-in gift not so long ago.

The silence is deafening.

I have so many things I want to say.

So many things I need to say.

But despite that, I can’t find any words.

Ella lifts a trembling hand and tucks a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, and the second she rips her eyes from mine, I speak without instruction from my brain.

That’s how powerful our connection is. Without it, I’m not in control.

Instinct kicks in. And right now, that instinct will do anything it can not to lose her.

“You don’t want to go back to Texas?” I echo like an idiot.

She sucks in a breath before ducking her chin.

“Does that mean…you…you want to stay here?”

Fuck.

Just saying the words affects me in a way I never could have imagined.

She looks up, gazing at me from under her lashes, making my heart somersault in my chest.

“Yes.”

That one word hits me like a bat. How I don’t fall off the stool, I have no idea.

“After everything I told you, you want to stay here. W-with me?” I ask, hating the vulnerability she can hear in that slight stutter.

Reaching forward, her hand wraps around my wrist, warmth spreading up my arm.

“Colt, what you told me…it helped me make the decision. For the first time, I feel like I truly know you. You’ve…” She hesitates, and I cover her hand with mine in encouragement. “I feel like we might just have a shot here. Tell me if I’m wrong, send me back to Texas if you want, but?—”

Pushing to my feet, I step between her thighs, wrap my hand around the back of her neck and slam my lips down on hers, cutting off her sentence.

“I’m not sending you anywhere that isn’t my bed, Bombshell,” I groan honestly into our kiss.

Her warm hands slide down my sides before tucking under my jersey so she can find my skin.

Desire shoots straight to my dick the second her soft palms run over my muscles.

We kiss until we’re both breathless and have little choice but to pull apart and take a breath.

“You’re really going to stay? Here, with me?”

Her brows pinch briefly, and I panic.

“I…I haven’t really thought this through,” she lies.

I know Ella better than she thinks I do. I’ve barely been home the last few days; she’s had plenty of time to think and obsess over this decision. I bet she’s also dissected every single aspect of it with Letty and Peyton, too.

It irks me that they were probably aware of this decision before me, but I find it hard to cling to the small burst of irritation when she’s staring up at me with wide, honey eyes and swollen lips.

“I’m not moving myself into your life, Colt. Letty offered for me to stay at their place. I could get a job, save, maybe get a place of my own.I don’t know.

“All of this is crazy. I barely even know this city. But…I need this. I need to be the version of myself that I’ve found here. Aside from my mom, there is nothing for me in Texas but bad memories and mistakes.

“I want a new start. I want to be the Ella you remember. The one who has fun with her friends, laughs, leaves the freaking house once in a while.”

“Ella,” I breathe, cupping her cheek in my hand. “You are that incredible person.”

“I have too much baggage in Texas that drags me down. I can’t go back there. If I don’t stay here, then I still can’t go back there. I could go to Chica?—”

“No,” I bark. “You belong here. Your family is here. I’m here.”

She stares up at me, desperately blinking back tears, and I’m reminded of what I told her not so long ago.

I have never said those words to a woman before. Hell, I barely ever say them to my family.

“Colt,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears faster than she can bat them away. “I love you, too. I always have.”

Her voice is rough, full of emotion, and it shatters something inside me just as much as it puts broken pieces back together.

“Fuck,” I rasp, barely able to accept those words from her.

I’ve wanted them. Fuck have I wanted them. But even now, I know that I don’t deserve them.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear them again and again and?—

“Colt,” Ella gasps as I sweep her from her stool and throw her over my shoulder. “I’ve just eaten,” she complains, but her fight is futile.

We leave behind the remains of our dinner—we can heat it up again later; there are more pressing issues right now.

Marching into my bedroom, I kick my foot out behind me to close the door before making a beeline for my bed.

The second the sheets brush my shins, I throw her down, eliciting another shriek from her.

She bounces on the mattress, her blonde hair fanning around her in contrast to my dark sheets.

The sight of her there makes my breath catch. The importance of this moment, the words we’ve both confessed hits me with the force of an eighteen-wheeler.

“Ella, I?—”

Her eyes find mine before she holds her hand out to me while I stand on the cusp of freaking the fuck out.

All my life I’ve told myself that I don’t want this.

I don’t want anyone relying on me.

I don’t want to have the power to break someone’s heart. To ruin their life.

But Ella…

Fuck.

It’s always been Ella.

I might have been lying to myself for years, but deep down, I knew.

The other women have been fun and all, but none of them have ever come close to her. Not by a fucking mile.

“Make love to me, Colt. I know this is big, scary, and life changing. I know you’re terrified. I’m petrified too. But because of you, I’m willing to take the risk. I want this. I want you.”

I lower my head, closing my eyes for a beat as her words wash through me.

“Shit, Bombshell. I want you too. More than you could ever know.”

Pulling my fingers from hers, I reach behind my head and drag my jersey off. Her eyes immediately drop to my chest, feasting on the skin I’ve revealed while I work on my pants.

In seconds, I’m naked and turn my attention to her.

“So fucking beautiful,” I murmur, crawling up her body. “And all fucking mine.”

I steal her lips before she gets a chance to respond, my hands trailing over her curves, letting her feel the truth behind my words with my touch.

I love everything about her—her body, the curves she’s hesitant about, her past, her struggles, her incredible mind, and her smart mouth.

Fuck, I think that might be my favorite…

My hands find her tits, squeezing just enough to make her moan into our kiss.

Nope. These are my favorite.

Slipping my hands under her shirt, I peel it up her body, a smirk appearing on my lips when I discover the front clasp of her bra.

“Fucking perfect,” I muse before flicking it open and letting her breasts spill free.

Taking them both in my hands, I alternate between pinching and sucking on her nipples.

In only minutes, her hips are grinding against me, desperately seeking more.

“Please, Colt. I need you.”

“I’ll never get bored of hearing that,” I confess as I sit up and tuck my fingers under her leggings, peeling them and her panties down her legs.

The second she’s bare for me, I shuffle into position between her thighs and push the head of my cock inside her.

She’s already soaked for me. Feeling it sends a powerful surge of lust straight to my dick, making it harder than I’m sure it’s ever been before.

My need to take her hard and fast is all-consuming.

But that’s not what this is.

This is so much bigger than a quick fuck and an intense release.

So. Much. Fucking. More.

I push inside her with a groan, letting the warmth of her velvet walls surround me and suck me deeper.

With our eyes locked as we connect, a million silent words and promises pass between us.

I drop over her and she wraps her hand around the back of my neck, guiding my lips back to hers as I slowly thrust into her, hoping that she can feel the significance of this moment as potently as I do.

Time and the outside world cease to exist as we move together, less concerned about finding our releases as the connection between us grows.

Who knew it could be like this?

Kane and Luca every time they physically or literally slapped you upside the head, you moron.

“Colt,” Ella gasps, ripping her lips from mine as her pussy contracts around me.

Resting my brow against hers, I find her eyes again, hoping she can see how much she’s slaying me right now.

“I love you, Bombshell. I’ve always loved you.”

“Colt, Colt,” she chants as my proclamation sends her crashing over the edge, dragging me right along with her.

We stay locked together, our limbs entwined long after our releases have subsided, but no words are said.

They’re not needed.

But eventually, Ella breaks the silence.

“The press knows about me. About us.”

I still, my arms tightening protectively around her.

While I might not have been actively trying to keep her away from that side of my life, I haven’t purposely pushed her into it.

She’s been so broken, so vulnerable since she arrived here. I knew that being thrust into the limelight, thanks to her connection to me, was going to be the last thing she wanted.

It’s going to bad enough when she’s ready, but forcing it on her before we’ve had a chance to figure this out wouldn’t have been fair.

“Shit. I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“It’s okay. It’s inevitable when I’m hanging out with Seattle’s most eligible bachelor.”

I shake my head. “I fucking hate that title. I’m so glad it no longer fits.”

“Oh?” Ella asks curiously.

“Nope. Haven’t you heard? I’m dating this hot-as-fuck blonde girl who’s got luscious curves for days. I’m fucking obsessed.”

“Colt,” she breathes.

“What? Just telling the truth. It’s exactly what I’ll say when a reporter asks, too.”

Her grip on me tightens, and she presses her face against my chest.

“Hey,” I say, concern tingling at my senses.

“You really want this?” she asks against my skin. “Me?”

Threading my fingers in her hair, I drag her head back so she has no choice but to look up at me.

“Yes, Ella. I want this. I want you.”

Her eyes flood with tears and my heart knots, knowing that I caused them.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve dreamed of hearing those words from your lips?” she asks weakly.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I was an asshole.”

She shakes her head. “You just needed time. We weren’t ready back then. We had things we needed to experience before we could get to this point.”

“That sounds much better than me being an asshole. I’ll take it.”

She chuckles. “I mean, you had your moments.”

“Trust me, I’ll have plenty more. I’m going to need you to be patient with me. I’ve never done this before.”

“We’ll figure it out together.”

“Sounds good, Bombshell. But why don’t we put it off until tomorrow? I’ve already got plans for the rest of the night,” I confess, rolling onto my back and dragging her with me for round two.