Chapter Five

Karmen Jones

It’s been a few hours since we left Severn

and with each mile I put between myself and Wesley, I feel a little

better. My heart still hurts, and I know I won’t simply be able to

flip a switch and stop loving him, but I’m sure not seeing him

every day or constantly reliving the memories I have will help.

The fifty-mile marker flies past us and I

smile, knowing our new life is about to start.

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,”

Lenor says with a laugh right as my phone starts ringing.

I contemplate ignoring Shane, but it might

be something about the sale of the house, so I answer.

“You know normal people stop working after

five in the afternoon, right?” I say, with a chuckle. “All work and

no play makes Shane a very dull boy.”

Silence stretches between us for so long I

pull the device from my face to check if the call hasn’t

dropped.

“Shane?” A feeling of dread sweeps through

me and I quickly pull up onto the shoulder while I wait for him to

speak. “What’s wrong?”

“You need to come home, sweets,” he says,

his voice a hoarse whisper as he uses the old familiar nickname.

“Mom died.”

My phone falls from my hand as shock courses

through my body. I hear Lenor talking in the background, but I

don’t hear any of the words. A new pain radiates through me and

tears at a different part of my heart. I know this feeling.

Loss.

Grief.

Disbelief.

Lenor puts her hand on my shoulder, and I

face her.

“You need to let me drive.”

“I’m fine,” I argue.

“Babe, we’ve been sitting here for the last

thirty minutes. You’re not fine.”

Nodding, I step out of my car and walk

around the hood while Lenor does the same.

“We should find a hotel for the night and

drive back tomorrow,” she says as she pulls back onto the road.

“I need to be there.”

“Are you sure?” she asks softly, finding a

spot where she can turn around. “You just left.”

“He was there when Tommy died,” I say

softly. “I need to be there for him. And Mrs. Blake was just as

much a mother to me as my own. I need to pay my last respects.”

She nods, cranking the radio up loud.

Neither of us wants to discuss what is going on. Driving back with

the music blasting is the best thing. We can avoid dealing with

this heartbreaking reality until we get there. And even then, I

don’t know what I am going to do.

****

The sun is starting to rise as we drive back

into Severn. We left and returned in less than twenty-four hours

and I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. If it were anyone else,

I wouldn’t have come back, but this is Wesley. I can’t abandon him.

And not just him, Adam and Shane too. They have always been part of

my family, and they would all do the same for me.

“You need to take me to the bar,” I say as

we drive down Main Street.

“Karmen…”

“Don’t. I’ll be fine. And I’ll deal with the

fallout later,” I cut in. “Right now, he’s in pain and he’s my

friend, if nothing else.”

“Fine,” she mumbles. “But don’t say I didn’t

warn you.”

“Noted.”

I use the spare key once Lenor drops me off

and drives away. I didn’t ever grab a change of clothing from my

car before she left but it’s not like she is leaving the country,

she’s just going to her mom’s place.

Letting myself in, I climb the stairs to his

apartment. I jump over the second step remembering it creaks

something awful and I don’t want to risk waking him if he is still

asleep. I slowly make my way through his open plan kitchen,

slipping my flats off as I walk.

Pushing open the bedroom door, I expect to

find him sleeping but he is sitting in his favorite brown armchair

staring out the window, smoking a cigarette.

“I wondered if you’d remember about the

step,” he says not looking at me.

“How could I forget?”

I grab the cigarette from his hand and take

a drag as I sit on the little bench seat beside the window.

“I thought you quit when I did,” I say just

to fill the tense silence.

“Why are you here, Karmen?”

Hurt fills my chest and I want to strike out

at him with the words running through my mind. I don’t, though. He

is in pain and he’s lashing out.

“I’m here because you’re my friend.”

“No, I’m not.”

****

Wesley Blake

I can’t handle being around Karmen right

now. My mind and emotions are all over the place. I’m vulnerable

and unpredictable and I know from previous experience that this

combination never ends well.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not my friend. I was your brother’s

friend.”

She stands and glares down at me after

putting out the cigarette. Her hands are on her hips and her baby

pink tank top has lifted showing a sliver of her stomach.

“Don’t be a dick,” she seethes.

I catch her off guard, pulling her into my

lap.

“I’m not your fucking friend, Karmen,” I say

enunciating every word. “I’m the guy trying to do the right thing

and you’re the woman who is making that very hard to do.”

“What?”

“I’ve been drinking. A lot,” I say so she

knows the truth. “Booze and emotionally charged situations rarely

work out well.” My thumb rubs across the strip of exposed skin and

my gaze is fixed to the action. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Wesley?”

“I did the right thing,” I say softly but

I’m not talking to her anymore. “I pushed you away. But now you’re

here and I don’t want to be the good guy anymore.”

Her hands cup my face forcing me to look at

her. “What are you talking about?”

“If I tell you the truth, I’ll fuck up

everything. You need to leave, to live your best life, and find a

good man,” I say praying she finally listens to me.

“You’re a good man,” she whispers. “Tommy

used to say you’re the best man he knew.”

Her words hit me like a truck. I never knew

he felt that way. I knew we were friends, that he loved me like a

brother, but never this. When we were younger, I was always getting

into trouble. At school, with our parents, even with the law. I was

rebellious and difficult, but I always had Tommy, the voice inside

my head pushing me to do better, be better. He helped me buy this

damn bar and start a new path for myself whether I deserved it or

not.

My head lowers until it lies in the crook of

her neck.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I never wanted to leave,” she replies. “But

I didn’t know how to be here anymore.”

“If I tell you the truth there is no going

back,” I confess. “This will change everything.”

“Maybe it’s time for a change because I

think we’re both miserable with how things are going right

now.”

She’s right. I know she is. My lips skim

across the skin along her collarbone.

“I lied,” I whisper. “Not really, I just

didn’t tell you the truth. Instead, I let you think whatever you

wanted.”

“Really?” she asks in a husky voice.

“Yeah, I did. Because it was easier that

way.”

My hands push her pretty pink top higher up

her body until I pull it over her head. White lace cups her breasts

and the sight alone is enough to send my thoughts into disarray. I

wait for her to protest but she doesn’t say anything to stop

me.

“And what is the truth, Wesley?” she asks

instead.

“I want you,” I say honestly. “I’ve wanted

you for as long as I can remember. One day you were a little girl

with skinned knees and the next you were a woman capable of

bringing me to my damn knees.”

“Wesley…”

I talk over her, not wanting to hear what

she has to say before I’m done speaking. “I hate when any other man

comes close to you even if it is a friend or even one of my

brothers. I hate that Jacob got to kiss you before I did and I

fucking hate that I made you cry.”

I stare at her as she works through every

word I’ve just said. I can see what I’ve said has her holding back

so I tell her the last secret I’ve been keeping.

“I bought your house.”

“You what?” she asks with a frown.

“It was all I thought I could keep. But I

want to keep you. I want you to be mine.”

She smiles sadly before kissing my lips.

“I’ve always been yours, Wesley. You were the only thing keeping us

apart.”

Using her hair for leverage, I tilt her head

to the side and kiss her deeply. I kiss her until we are both

breathless before I pull away.

“I need you,” I say. “Not just now or

because I’m hurting. I need you in my life forever. These last

hours have been the worst of my life, and it was only that much

worse because I thought you were gone forever.”