Chapter 12

Logan

“Dude! I don’t know how you do it.” Justin shakes his head. I shoot him a look, avoiding a group of people as we walk through the school courtyard and over towards the football field.

I missed some practices this summer during the weeks I had Bentley. Coach gave me a pass, but he made it clear that once school starts if I can’t keep up, I’m off the team.

And that would kill me because I did not just spend the past four years working hard to end up with nothing. I have a spot on one of the best UFL teams the moment I graduate, and I’m not losing it. I can’t. This is as close as I can get to the NFL right now, and I know I’ll be drafted in a few years. I just need this time to figure out how everything is going to work regarding my son.

He’s with me two weeks out of a month, and I need to make each moment count. Being in the NFL right now with him being so young, I’d lose that time with him. And while I love ball, with it being a big part of my life, my son is my whole world.

My brothers and dad offered to help out when they can, and while that works for the most part right now, I will not have them put their lives and plans on hold to help me out.

He’s mine, my responsibility, and I will do right by him.

Now that school is starting up again, I have no idea how I’m going to make this work when he’s with me. Both of my brothers want to go pro in their respective sports. With school and practices, they already have a full schedule.

I might have to take Melissa up on her offer to watch Benny for me. Only for a few hours at most, so I can go to practice on the weeks he's with me.

Part of me feels bad about it, but at the same time, she practically ordered me to let her. She adores him, and it means a lot to me that she cares about my son. She’s a good woman; my dad is a lucky man.

She’s not the only one Benny’s managed to win over.

The way Laney is with Benny, watching him laugh and smile, and the way she lights up whenever she’s around him, it’s a fucking punch in the gut.

Because she’s everything I’d want in a girlfriend if I was looking. Smart, kind, funny, and loves my son.

But she’s my fucking stepsister.

“What do you mean, how do I do it?” I mutter to my best friend.

Justin and I have been best friends since kindergarten. He’s been by my side through every major life event. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

“Live with Delaney. Be around her. How are you not going out of your mind? That girl, mmm.” He bites his fist, eyes rolling back. “She’s so damn fine,” he grounds.

It turns into a grunt as I punch him in the stomach.

“Fuck off,” I hiss.

“Ouch, man.” He pushes me. “That fucking hurt.” He grins. “Relax. Even if I find her hot as hell, I’d never do that to you. I know how much you like her.”

“I don’t like her.” I look away, shoving my hands in my jeans pockets. “I can’t like her.”

“Yeah, yeah, stepsister and all that bullshit,” he scoffs. “I don’t know why you're letting that stop you. I think forbidden love is hot. Think of all the sexual tension and stolen moments. The sex would be fire!”

“Again, fuck off,” I growl. “I don’t want forbidden and stolen moments. I need smart, stable, and serious. I have a son to think about and a career I’m trying to build. I don’t need stolen moments and tension.”

“Okay, and I get that. So, what? You're just going to shut your feelings off and pretend you don’t want her?” He gives me a look like I’m full of shit.

“I said, I don’t like her. It was one night and one night only.”

Justin bursts out laughing, and it pisses me off. “Dude, you and I both know that's bullshit. You like her, you're obsessed with her. You just don’t want to be. Because I damn well know you would be pissed off and jealous if you saw her with another guy tomorrow.”

I want to deny it, but I can’t. Seeing those hickeys on her neck... it fucking enraged me. I was plagued with nightmares all damn night, wondering who she was with, what they did together. Did she like him, or was it just a one-night stand like me and my brothers were meant to be?

Would he become her something more?

Was he better than I was?

All I could see was some faceless man thrusting into her, making her scream as he fucked her like an animal.

The idea of another man’s hands on her has too much power over my emotions, and I can’t afford to have that in my life right now.

She’s not mine. She can’t be mine.

But I don’t want her to be with anyone else.

Fucking hell.

“Whatever,” I mutter as we get to the football field.

An hour later, the meeting is done and I find my shoulders heavy with the stress of what’s to come.

Coach reminded me that this is my last year, and while I have a spot on the Florida Bobcats, if I have a bad season, that could change.

Our first game is this weekend, and I’m not sure if I’m ready. It’s also my week with Benny.

Stacy asked to switch, again, throwing off my schedule. It seems like lately, she’s been giving me more and more time with him. And I love that. But because it’s not the set days I’m supposed to have him, I don’t know how to plan around it anymore.

I wish she would just give me full custody, she clearly doesn’t care about her time with him. But she won’t because that means she doesn’t have any leverage to control me.

How the fuck did that judge not see that Stacy doesn’t have Benny’s best interests at heart. She only wants to use him to toy with me. And it’s fucked up because that little boy is my whole life. How can he not be hers? She grew him inside her for nine months and gave birth to him.

Stacy might be the biggest mistake of my life, but she gave me the best thing I could ever have asked for. He’s the reason I haven’t pushed harder, wanting to give her a chance.

But if she’s just going to hand him off to me whenever she feels like it when it’s supposed to be her time, then I’m going to take her back to court. And preferably have a judge that’s not under her father's thumb.

“What's your day looking like?” Justin asks as we head back towards the main school building.

“I had a class this morning, two this afternoon, then I’m picking Benny up from daycare and heading home. You?”

“I was going to hang around Brent’s dorm and hope that his girlfriend brings her bestie, Kelly, over. But I think hanging out with you and B-man sounds better.” He shoots me a grin. “You think your new sister will be swimming? I bet her body looks banging in a bikini.”

White-hot anger flashes through me, and I punch Justin in the arm hard.

“Fuck, man!” he shouts, then groans, jumping back and grabbing at his arm. “And you wanna tell me you don’t like her.”

Damn him, and damn the reaction he’s getting out of me. He’s fucking with me, and I’m proving him right.

***

“There’s my little man.” I scoop Benny up in my arms, peppering his face with kisses as his giggles warm my heart. “Were you good for Miss Rachel?”

“He was the best,” Rachel answers, giving me a friendly smile. A little too friendly.

Rachel White is someone I grew up with, someone I hooked up with a few times. It’s weird that she also works at the daycare my son goes to a few days a week.

And it’s also awkward when she looks at me like she would like to repeat the past.

She’s given me her number and asked me out a few times, but I’ve always let her down nicely, telling her I’m not looking to date. That school, football, and Benny were my main priorities. And it wasn’t a lie.

The moment I found out I had a son, all interest in hooking up with girls went out the window. Would I love to have sex to burn off the tension that builds, sure, but it’s not worth the risk. My hand has been my best friend for almost a year now.

Or at least until I met Delaney.

One slip up and that's all it took for me to want to throw everything out the window.

Having her around all the time, knowing she’s sleeping just down the hall, and that at any moment I could slip into her room, into her bed, is driving me fucking insane.

“That's awesome.” I give her a polite smile. “Alright, big guy, let's get you home.”

“He just woke up from a nap and had a snack. I think he should be good until supper.”

“Thanks.” I nod. “Have a good night.”

With Benny in my arms and his bag in hand, I turn to leave. “Oh, Logan,” Rachel calls out.

Closing my eyes, I swallow down my groan of annoyance.

“Yeah?” I ask over my shoulder.

“Good luck at the game this week.” She gives me a flirty smile. “I’ll be there cheering you on.” She winks.

Rachel is on the college cheerleading team, right alongside Stacy.

“Does your best friend know you fucked her baby daddy?” I ask her bluntly.

Her face falls. “W-what?” she stutters, face paling.

“Stacy. Does she know we fucked? Because I don’t think she would be too happy to find out we did. And that you’ve been trying to have a repeat. She’s made it all too damn clear how she feels about me. And while we are not together, have never been together, and never will be together, I don’t want the drama that she loves to cause. You are my son’s daycare teacher. That’s all you are to me, all you will ever be.”

She huffs, crossing her arms and shooting me a glare. “You think so highly about yourself, Logan. I was just being friendly. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Oh, really?” I turn to face her. “So, you sending me photos of your tits without my permission was you just being friendly?”

Her cheeks turn pink. “That was a mistake. I meant to send them to someone else.”

“Yeah, sure.” I sigh. “Look, I already have your crazy-ass best friend trying to fuck up my life, I don’t need any extra drama.”

“Fuck you, Logan,” she sneers. I’ve tried to be nice enough to her because she works at the only daycare in town, and while I might not like her, she is amazing with the kids.

But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s one of the girls who has made Winter’s life a living hell.

“Oh, and if you want to avoid drama, I’d stop fucking your stepsister.” She cocks a brow, giving me a sinister grin.

“What the hell are you going on about?” My brows furrow.

“Just remember, Logan, Stacy knows everything that goes on in this town, especially when it comes to you and her son.”

I’m about to ask what the fuck she means by that when Benny starts crying.

With an annoyed huff, I take Benny outside to the car.

“I know, buddy. Just need to get you home,” I try to soothe him as he continues to cry. “What's wrong?” I kiss his little cheek. “You still hungry?”

I place his stuff inside the car and lift him up to smell if he needs a change, but he seems fine.

“What's wrong with my little dude?” Justin asks as he approaches the car.

“Not sure,” I grunt, bouncing Benny in my arms. “He just started fussing.”

“Come here.” Justin takes him from me. “Uncle Jay will make everything better.”

Benny continues to scream his head off, his little face going red. I’m starting to panic. Is he sick? Is he in pain?

“What's wrong?” Justin asks him. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Then Benny pukes all over the front of Justin’s shirt. “Oh my god. Gross. Dude, take him.” Justin holds him out to me at arm’s length, trying not to gag.

My heart starts to race as I go into panic mode. Benny is crying, Justin is gagging, and I don’t have any clue what I should do.

Grabbing Benny, I rush over to the bag and grab the pack of wipes. “Here.” I toss them to Justin.

He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the package, cleaning himself off frantically.

People are starting to stare now, shooting me judgy looks.

“Shhh. It’s okay.” I pat Benny’s back while rocking him. I’m already so stressed over today, over Stacy, over everything. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m not sure how to handle this. Benny hardly ever cries. He’s normally an easy baby.

“I got him.” Her voice sends a rush of relief through me, cutting through my panic. Delaney seems to appear out of nowhere and takes a screaming Benny from my arms. “Hey there, little man.”

Benny looks up at Delaney’s smiling face, his crying seeming to lessen to a whimper. “Shh. It’s okay.” She holds him close to her, settling him against her shoulder and alternating between patting and rubbing his back.

A moment later, Benny lets out this big burp.

“There we go.” Laney laughs. “He just has a gassy belly.” I watch in awe as she moves over to the open car door and lays him down in the back seat. She rubs his belly, then grabs his legs, doing a bicycle motion. Then she pulls his legs down and up, causing Benny to let out a big fart that has her bursting out laughing. “Wow, little man,” she teases him. “You sure do have a lot of power in you for someone so small.”

Benny giggles, his eyes still wet from crying.

I continue to stand there and watch, something shifting in my damn heart like it always does when I see them together.

She was able to calm him when I couldn’t. She knew what to do when I didn’t. It makes me feel like a failure, but I’m also grateful.

I should know these things, I’m his dad. I didn’t even know he had gas.

“You’re so screwed,” Justin says from behind me. I look over and frown when I see he’s shirtless.

“What the hell, man?”

He looks down, then back up to me. “I couldn’t get the puke out. I tossed the whole damn shirt.” He shivers and gags. “The smell.”

“Alright. I think we’re all good,” Laney says, picking up Benny and turning to look at the two of us. She cocks a brow. “Ah, why are you shirtless?” she asks Justin.

“You like what you see?” he teases in a playful tone, and I glare at him.

Laney snorts. “Dream on, buddy.”

“Oh, trust me, you're number one in my dreams, baby.” He winks.

“You just met me today.” She laughs. “When did you have time to dream about me?”

“World Science,” he replies seriously.

Laney shakes her head. “And this is why you're repeating classes.” She sighs. Her smile drops as she looks at me. “Are you okay?”

I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I go over to her, ready to take Benny.

“Hey,” she says in a soft voice, giving me a small smile. “It’s okay. He’s okay.”

“I know he is,” I mutter. “It was just gas.” I’m coming off a little more clipped than I should be. I’m just in a shitty mood because I couldn’t make my son feel better. I panicked when I should have done what was needed.

She gives me a look. “We’re not doing this, Logan. You're not going to be an asshole to me. Just thank me, accept that you're human, and sometimes it’s okay to ask for help.”

Guilt hits me. “I’m sorry.” I rub my hands over my face. “I’m just tired and stressed. I wasn’t supposed to have Benny this weekend, and I have practice all week, then there's the first game this weekend. Dad is working, so is your mom. I need someone to watch Benny, but I hate to ask my brothers because they’ve already done so much this summer, and he’s not their responsibility–”

“I’ll watch him,” she offers, cutting me off.

My brows jump. “What?”

“He’s in daycare during the day, right?” she asks, and I nod. “All my classes are during the day, so I have free time after school. And I don’t have any plans this weekend, seeing as how the only people I know are you, your brothers, and Winter.”

“Hey, what about me?” Justin asks from behind me.

Laney rolls her eyes. “And your bestie over there.”

Fucking hell. Why does she have to be so nice? It’s making it harder to not want her.

“Say yes, Logan.” She cocks a brow. “You're not asking too much of me. I want to help.”

“Okay,” I concede, letting out a breath. “But the thing is, our game is away this weekend, and I don’t know how I feel about leaving him that long.” I know I’m away from him a week at a time, but when he’s with me, in my care, I don’t like being away from him for longer than a few hours. I don’t know why, and I can’t explain it.

“Then, we go on a road trip.” Laney smiles down at Benny. “How's that sound? Sleepover with Daddy?”

Sleeping in the same room with her, the same bed? Something tells me that's not a good idea, not at all.

“Okay.” I find myself agreeing, throwing all the flashing red flags out the window. “Thank you, that would be amazing.”

“Of course.” She kisses Benny. “The more time I get to hang out with this little man, the better.”

She puts him in his car seat and says bye to Justin and me before heading across the parking lot to her own car.

“I’m so fucking screwed,” I groan, giving Justin a look.

He nods, giving me a pitying look as he pats my shoulder. I glance down at Benny, who beams up at me and bursts into giggles like he knows it, too.

***

“Is he sleeping?”

I look over, swallowing hard when I see Laney. She’s in a baggy shirt that hits her knees. It’s covering more of her body than the night I told her that walking around here in her little sleep shorts and hardly there shirt wasn’t a good idea, yet looking at her right now, I feel like she's even more tempting.

It wasn’t because I was worried about my dad seeing it. It was because I was worried about how it made me feel when I saw her. It made my mouth water and my cock hard. My hands itch to touch her, to pull her in and kiss her. Fuck .

“Yeah.” I clear my throat, tearing my eyes away from her and over to the running water of the pool’s waterfall feature.

It’s dark out, the only lights are from the pool. I’ve spent the past two hours with a screaming baby.

Benny managed to keep his cool until we got home, but then it was nothing but crying and painful gas. It killed me that he was in pain. But I did what Laney did, and I think it helped a lot.

“Has he been eating anything new?” Laney asks. “Sometimes a change in diet can cause gas; the digestive system is not used to it yet.”

Frowning, I grab my phone and pull up the app the daycare uses to keep track of everything that happens while Benny is there.

“Yeah,” I say with a groan. “Broccoli.”

“That would do it.” She laughs.

“I should have known.”

“You’re doing a good job, Logan.” The seriousness on her face has my heart skipping. Why does it feel so damn good to hear her say those words?

“Sure doesn’t feel like it,” I mutter.

“Stop being so hard on yourself. No one is born knowing how to take care of a child. It’s a learn-as-you-go thing.”

“How do you know so much about this stuff?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “I've always loved kids, loved babies. I started babysitting at thirteen. Did more research than what the babysitting course taught so that I was as prepared as I could be. When I was younger, I wanted to work in a daycare or a preschool. Babysitting was the closest I could get.”

“And you don’t want to do that now?”

She laughs. “God, no. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, and watching them every now and again is fine. But doing it every day? No.” She shakes her head. “Only if it was my own. Or someone I really enjoyed being around. Like Benny.” She winks.

And there goes my damn heart again doing that weird shit.

Sighing, I lean back in the chair. “Kids are a lot of work,” I muse.

“But totally worth it.”

I look over at her and smile. “One hundred percent.”

We hold each other’s gaze for a long moment before she looks away. “I met Stacy today.”

That has me sitting up straight, back going stiff. “What? How? When?”

“At school.” She laughs, shaking her head. “Was getting out of my first class when she popped out of nowhere and slapped me across the face.

“What!” I gape at her in horror.

“Yup.” She nods. “Told me to stay away from her man. Accused me of trying to take her place as Benny’s mom and threatened to kill me if I fucked you.” She shoots me a look. “You were not kidding when you said she was crazy.”

“Fucking hell.” I let out a breath, running a hand through my hair as anger fills me. “I’m so sorry she did that. God!” I get to my feet and start pacing. “She’s crazy. I am not her man. We are nothing.” I stop in front of Laney. “I promise.”

“I know,” Laney assures me. “She’s just pissing on what she thinks is hers.”

“But I’m not,” I growl.

“I know,” she repeats. “But you think I was gonna tell that to the unstable lady?”

Shaking my head, I start to pace again. “This is why I don’t think she should have Benny. At all. She’s not a good person. She’s evil and vindictive. Obsessed.”

“I’m not sure what made her think there was anything between us, but I did remind her that you are my stepbrother.”

Rachel’s words filter back into my mind. Does she have people watching me? Does her father?

“I don’t think it did anything. She sees me as a young hot girl living with you and is around her son. Therefore, I’m a threat to her. Not going to lie, not what I thought I’d have to deal with.”

“You're not coming this weekend,” I tell her.

“What?” Her brows furrow.

“I’ll find someone else to watch Benny.”

She gets to her feet. “Logan, what the hell?”

“No.” I shake my head. “If she found out, that would only bring more drama for you. I don’t want that.”

“Good thing I don’t care.” She crosses her arms. “I’m not going to let her have any control over my life. I don’t even know her. No. I’m going to watch Benny this week and go to the game because fuck her. She’s the one who’s switching out weeks. If she has an issue with it, then maybe she should be a better mother.” I open my mouth to argue, but she shakes her head. “I’m not changing my mind, Logan.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, hating the idea of putting her further on Stacy’s radar. I don’t think she would go as far as to kill Laney. She’s crazy, but not that crazy. I do think she would try to make her life hell. I saw what she did to Winter.

But Laney and Winter are two different people. Something tells me Laney would give as good as she got. The idea of her fighting back turns me on. I really am fucked up when it comes to her.

We both return to the chairs and continue to sit in silence.

“Laney,” my voice cuts through the silent night. I know I shouldn't ask this—I don’t have any right to—but it’s driving me crazy.

“Yeah?” Her voice is quiet.

“The guy you were with this past weekend, is it... something more?” I don’t look at her, too afraid to.

“No,” she whispers. “He was just someone in passing. Some fun. That's all.”

I hate the idea of her with another man, but the rush of satisfaction overpowers it.

“Okay,” I respond.

There's a few long moments before she says, “Goodnight, Logan.”

As she gets up, my eyes find hers. “Night.”

She bites her lip like she wants to say something more. But she doesn’t. Turning on her heel, she heads back into the house.

I stay outside for who knows how long, afraid that if I go in right now, I’d go to her and tell her all the things I’ve been keeping to myself.

I have to keep reminding myself she’s not mine, and I can’t have her.

Even though everything inside screams for her.

Justin’s right. I really am fucked.