3. Maddox

Blue lights pulsed around me as I tipped back my glass of whiskey and downed it in one shot, barely feeling the familiar burn. The bass rattled the floor under my feet, and my brain shook around in my skull exactly how I liked it. I couldn't hear myself think when the music was this loud. The thinking was what got me in trouble, and I wanted no part of it tonight. Or any night.

Turning, I watched a hot blonde shove her tits in Connor's face trying to get his attention. He flicked his eyes over to me, his eyebrow raising. When we went out together, he always gave me first choice on the women that were ballsy enough to approach us. Being the bassist for the hottest band in the world had its perks, and I enjoyed every single one.

He also knew I preferred blondes. Light hair and eyes. The complete opposite of her.

I nodded once, and Connor turned back to the woman perched on his lap, leaning forward to shout into her ear. She moved away from him, sliding off of his lap and locking eyes with me as a predatory grin spread across her face.

Little did she know, she wasn't the predator. I was. For tonight, and only tonight, she'd be my prey.

I held out my hand and pulled her down into my lap, gripping her hips and running a hand up her stomach until my palm rested below her obviously fake tits. I didn't mind as long as they were perky. Her floral perfume floated around me, mixing with the smell of alcohol and sweat in the club. I brushed her bleached blonde hair off of her shoulder and leaned up until my lips almost touched her ear. "Did you bring any friends with you tonight, sweetheart?"

She nodded her head vigorously before stretching her arm out and pointing to two women grinding against each other on the VIP dance floor. I shot Connor a look, and he followed my gaze. His eyes met mine, and silently a plan was made between us. He stood and moved across the floor slowly in a cocky swagger that had everyone jumping out of his way, clearing a path.

It didn't hurt that he was a big motherfucker.

I moved my palm to rest on blondie's smooth, tan thigh and stroked my thumb in circles. I watched as her breath caught, and her nipples hardened, poking through her tight as fuck dress that hugged every curve.

Turning my attention back to Connor, I watched as he moved between the two women, both of them grinding against him to the beat. From here, through the haze of flashing lights and dark shadows, he could have been fucking them, and no one would have been the wiser. Knowing him, he might have been.

I focused back on the girl sitting on my lap, inching my fingertips higher up her thigh until I hit the hem of her dress and then dipped my fingers underneath. When I lifted my gaze to her face, she watched me with hooded eyes, and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. My cock hardened as I thought about those plump, red lips wrapped around me.

Removing my hand from her leg, I tugged her off of my lap, gently guiding her to her knees. She nervously glanced around the club, but it was so dark and loud that no one paid attention. Her eyes found mine, and she licked her lips while she reached for the button on my jeans, popping it open.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Connor throw his arm over the brunette's shoulders and grip the other blonde's hand in his, leading them both off the dance floor. His eyes darkened as he watched the girl between my knees reach her hand into my pants and start stroking my dick like she was trying to start a fire. I tensed and gripped her wrist, shooting her a withering glare. "Be careful," I hissed, though I didn't know if she could hear me over the music. I could already tell she was wild and eager to please.

That only meant fun things for me when I got her back to my place. For now, she had to earn the right. I ran my hand down into her hair, fisting the coarse strands and gripping tight while I held her right where I wanted her. She ran her tongue up and down my shaft as I locked eyes with her friend now sitting beside Connor across the booth from me, her pupils dilating as she watched.

A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth as blondie took my cock into her mouth, suctioning me to the back of her throat, and I threw my head back and clenched my jaw. Closing my eyes, freckles and doe eyes flashed in my mind, and I snapped them open. I pulled the blonde off my dick, stuffed myself back into my pants, and motioned to the waitress. I wasn't nearly fucked up enough for what I had in mind tonight. I needed to forget. I always needed to forget.

Several shots of whiskey later, Connor and I stumbled into my house with the three girls. I ignored the squeals from the brunette Connor claimed as his company for tonight, and I tried to focus my blurring vision on the two blondes hanging all over me. We careened our way to one of my guest rooms. I could never bring myself to take the hookups into my bedroom. That was my private space, and I didn't want it tainted with meaningless sex.

Pushing into the room, we were a tangle of lips, teeth, and hands until we tumbled onto the bed. I leaned back on my elbow, content to watch the show for now.

"What do you like, baby?" blondie number one purred.

"I want to watch… for now," I smirked.

They lunged at each other, pawing and kissing and stripping until they stood naked before me, putting on a show that only had me at half-mast. Maybe it was all the whiskey I'd drunk, or maybe it was the fact that these girls were all wrong. When I watched, I found myself wishing for dark hair and expressive eyes, skin covered in freckles, and a laugh that made my whole heart feel light.

Fuck. I needed to shut that shit down, locking those thoughts away in the deepest vault of my mind. I hated that they'd slipped through. I made my bed years ago and spent the last twelve years lying in it. All dredging those feelings up did was make me hate myself even more. Instead, I refocused my attention back on the girls in front of me.

Might as well make the most of the night.

Groaning, I woke up assaulted by too many feelings: A pounding head, a body wrapped around my left side, and my dick being stroked by a warm hand. I wasn't sure what to focus on first, and I pried my eyes open, watching as blondie number one flashed me a devilish grin and sucked the head of my cock into her mouth. I reached down and pulled her off with a pop , a scowl crossing my face.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I don't do seconds," I scolded. She pouted before shaking her friend awake. "Time for you two to go."

I jumped out of bed and pulled on my boxers before striding out of the room, not bothering to look back. I needed coffee more than anything, and even on my best days, I wasn't a morning person. The closer I got to the kitchen, the stronger the smell of coffee became. Connor must have been up already and made a pot.

Sure enough, rounding the corner, I found him sipping a steaming mug, perched on one of the stools at the marble-topped island. I tilted my chin in greeting before grabbing a mug and pouring myself a cup.

"Why the fuck do you live in a house made up of so much glass? It's bright as fuck in here in the morning," Connor bitched.

"You could always stay at your own place if you don't like it." Truth be told, I loved my house, but he had a point. My eyes wandered around the room, taking in the glass walls, light marble floors, and white furniture. This place was the complete opposite of who I was, and I liked it because it reminded me that things didn't always have to be so dark. Or at least I could pretend for a little while.

But when I had a hangover? This place was like a fucking drill right to the skull.

Connor rolled his eyes and took another sip of his coffee. "Fuck off." Clearly, getting his dick wet last night hadn't improved his mood this morning.

I practically gulped my coffee, needing the caffeine to clear my head. "Where the fuck is my phone?" I muttered, glancing around the kitchen. It was clearly not here, so I stalked out to the living room. I sure as fuck didn't want to go back into the guest room until I was sure the girls were gone. I hated myself for this morning routine, but I'd gotten in the habit of checking her social media feeds.

Convincing myself this small allowance was okay because I wasn't actually making any contact with her was how I justified my behavior. But Ryan deserved a whole hell of a lot better than me, so I removed myself from her life years ago and tried my damndest not to look back.

At least not much.

Finally, I stalked down the hallway, stopping outside the door and listening, but the room was silent. I peered around the door frame, and the room was empty, so I walked inside and dropped to my knees, searching under the bed. Near the nightstand, I spotted my phone and reached out, pulling it into my hand and swiping the screen on.

I'd been lucky neither of the girls from last night had taken my phone. It wouldn't have been the first time. Or even the tenth. I'd had to replace this phone a dozen times already just this year. I pushed myself up off the floor and made my way back to the kitchen, popping into my room to grab sunglasses and slipping them on my face to block out some of the intense sunlight.

Connor lifted his eyes from his phone when I strode into the room, chuckling as he took in my sunglasses. "I knew you weren't immune."

Lifting my middle finger, I flashed my hand at him, and he chuckled again. I slid onto the barstool a couple down from him. I pulled open my social media accounts, quickly navigating to Ryan's and checking for new updates like a starved man desperate for a scrap of food. I held my breath as the page loaded like I did every day. I'd never seen her post a picture with another man as long as I'd watched, which was longer than I cared to admit. I didn't know what I'd do if I ever saw that, but I had no right to my feelings of possession over her.

That didn't mean I didn't still have them.

I gave up my right to any kind of a relationship with Ryan a long time ago. When her page finally loaded, my insides felt like they'd been shredded. Her latest update was her beautiful smiling face looking carefree and happy, which I wanted most for her. But next to her was a man who looked equally happy, his arms wrapped around her, their faces pressed close together. I recognized her family farm in the background, the familiar barn visible in the frame.

My fingers were wrapped so tightly around my phone that it creaked ominously, and I dropped it onto the counter, raking my fingers through my hair and down my face. I wanted to smash everything near me, to let the storm raging inside of me out. Instead, I swallowed it down like everything else. I tightened every muscle in my body, keeping myself rigidly perched on the stool.

I needed to get the fuck out of here. Suddenly my ten-thousand square foot house felt claustrophobic. I stalked to my bedroom, grabbed a black t-shirt and jeans, dressed quickly before brushing my teeth, and walked back to the kitchen to find Connor staring at me.

I barely contained my rage as I slammed the garage door open before looking back over my shoulder. "You coming?" I asked Connor, grabbing one of the sets of keys hanging on the rack by the door.

Lifting the car door up, I lowered myself into the matte black McLaren Spider that was my favorite whenever I wanted to go fast. There was something about pressing the gas pedal into the floor and watching my surroundings blur as I flew past them that kept me in the moment, pulling me out of my thoughts.

The passenger side door slamming caught my attention as I looked over to find Connor in the seat next to me, his mirrored aviators in place. He didn't say anything, just looked at me expectantly. I pressed the button and waited for the garage door to lift, tapping my fingers restlessly on the wheel. My thoughts were swirling, and my fury was still barely contained. I needed to destroy something.

Pressing on the gas pedal, I tore out of the garage and down the street, the tires squealing. We drove in silence until I tossed Connor my phone. "Put on something loud," I barked. I didn't mean to be such an asshole, but Connor didn't take it personally. It was why I liked hanging out with him. Right now, it was all I could do not to crash us into a pole to try and shut off my brain. My throat was dry, and I struggled to swallow around the huge lump that had settled there.

I'd known this day would come someday, but that didn't mean I'd been prepared for it. "Are you packing?" I asked, shooting a sideways glance at Connor.

"Always."

"Good." I didn't say anything else until I whipped my car into a deserted parking lot. There was a low unmarked building directly in front of us.

Connor chuckled darkly beside me. "Should I even ask what's got you so riled up this morning?"

I glared at him before lifting up the door and stepping out of the car, stretching out my body. I moved to the trunk and tried to ignore the blood pounding in my ears and adrenaline coursing through my veins. I reached in and pulled out my handgun, slamming the trunk shut.

Connor opened the glass door, and I strode in like I owned the place, nodding once at the guy behind the counter and moving through the lobby until we stood outside in the open-air range. Connor reached into his waistband, pulled his gun out, checked it over, and took his place beside me. We'd been here so many times before, we didn't need to talk. Even though I didn't show it, his presence calmed me.

Placing ear protection over my head, I unloaded clip after clip into anything I could find, the kickback of the gun causing my muscles to tighten. My focus was singular, blocking out every other thought and feeling until my breathing regulated, and my heart slowed down.

For the first time since I saw that goddamn picture, oxygen inflated my lungs. Shooting the fuck out everything in sight at the range had calmed me enough that I could once again shove my feelings down and block them out, throwing up a mask of indifference.

That was until my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, noting the unknown number with a Texas area code. My heart kicked up, pounding in my chest while I debated whether or not to answer. For a brief moment, I let myself hope that it's her. But I shut that shit down. She doesn't have my number, and even if she did, I made sure she wanted nothing to do with me when I took off without a word.

So whatever this was wouldn't be good. I knew it in my bones.

Resigned, I sighed before answering. "Hello?"

A deep gravelly voice spoke loudly in my ear, and I pulled the phone back a little, wincing. "Maddox?"

"That's me. Who's this?"

"I don't know if you remember me, but my name's Joel. Joel Stewart? I'm a cowboy on your dad's ranch."

Fuck, this was not my day. "Hey, Joel. It's been a long time. What's up?"

The line stayed quiet so long I looked down at the screen to see if the call was still connected. "Joel?"

A long, low sigh sounded across the line, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. "Yeah, I'm here. Look, kid. I'm going behind your old man's back to make this call, but he hasn't given me much choice."

I stayed quiet, waiting for him to finish.

"It's been weeks since I've been able to buy feed, and when I try talking to Russell about it, he gets belligerent and tells me to fuck off. The animals are suffering, and I haven't been paid in months. If it were just about me, I'd walk away. But I can't let the animals suffer if there's something I can do."

Connor stepped up beside me, tucking his gun back into his waistband and pulling off his noise silencing headphones. He shot me a questioning glance. "What do you need from me, Joel?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose, sure I didn't want to hear the answer.

"I'd ask you to just send money, but I don't have access to the accounts. If you send money, Russell will drink or gamble it away, and we'll be back to square one."

"I don't think I can do what you're asking."

"Sorry, kid. But the only way to fix this is to come out here. I know it's not what you want."

I clenched my fist, preparing to throw it into the wooden beam in front of me. "If I come out there, a whole lotta shit's going to change, Joel. I can't be around my dad."

"I know. But the animals need you. Hell, I need you. Just get your ass out here, spend a day, and go back home. I'll do what I can to run interference."

Suddenly the anger left my body. All I felt was a paralyzing numbness, like I was empty, devoid of feeling. "Fine. I'll fly down tomorrow. You've got me for one day and one day only."

"I'll take it. See you then," Joel agreed, and the line went dead.

My stomach knotted. I couldn't believe I'd agreed to go home and deal with my dad's fucked up life.

"What's going on?" Connor asked, concern lacing his features. Being an ex-Marine and current badass bodyguard meant he picked up on every little thing.

"I have to go home tomorrow." My voice sounded monotone.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he offered.

I shook my head. "It's only for a day, and I don't want to expose you to my shit. I'll be fine. But thanks."

He nodded once and turned around, walking toward the exit. I followed, wondering what the fuck I'd just gotten myself mixed up in.